Author's Note: Thanks to all that reviewed! Kairianna864, nedda-modena, MichaellaD, astridv, DarklyDreaming88, Aurelia99 and Guest Sarah!

Let's see if I can earn my keep on this next chapter. Still trying to keep things relevant to what's going on in the show, so there will be things that similar or the same but just morphed to fit this fic.

And that last episode? Holy mother of God am I right?

Happy Reading as Always.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Obviously.

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Grant Ward was a specialist. At least that's what they used to call him back when he belonged to organizations that needed code words for people that were highly trained, problem solving, threat eliminators.

He did not panic.

He did not plead.

He did not pace.

"Damn it Fitz! Please!"

"Eh. No."

Clenching hands, whose tendons already screamed from the action, Ward shook his head and whipped around to make his well-worn track back across the infirmary floor. His feet slapped rhythmically on the tiles beneath them. His shoes and socks had come up missing as of late.

He had multiple suspects.

This latest theft wasn't even his most pressing concern.

He was going crazy. Pent up, animal in a cage, crazy. His mind was being dissected, piece by bloody piece, as Fitz worked out these so called "theories" none of which were willingly shared as of yet. There was a nasty niggling feeling in his head that made him second guess the surety of his cognizance being his own. The more details Fitz extracted the worse it got. For the first time since he was that scared little kid, Ward felt out of control.

Unbalanced.

This made his confinement to the medical facilities unbearable. He needed to move, needed to get out, needed to hit something. The time when he'd been imprisoned here before, it'd felt almost like a vacation.

Besides the all-consuming depression and suicide attempts.

Once he'd come to grips with what had happened, started to formulate a new plan on how to proceed, things had improved. He was able to appreciate the break, rest up, and get his head on straight. He got some sleep and trained in the peaceful solitude his solitary confinement provided.

Things did destabilize a bit after a while…

It had been a few days since Skye had kissed him and he was sure that added to this restless feeling. She came now and then. To listen, or help Fitz with different tests that Ward had a certain suspicion the sneaky little bastard had gotten off of Google.

She was careful not to touch him, or get close enough to be touched. He didn't know if that was because of him, or Coulson and Co., their past, the recent events that had the team in tatters (the details of which he wasn't privy to), her current powers. It could be anything.

Not that it matters.

Least of his problems. Getting hooked on Skye again was not smart. Screwing his face up in irritation he expelled any memories of her lips on his. Which only served to make all of them hit like a freight train in the gut…and…lower.

His ability to carefully compartmentalize things was being demolished by a curly headed Scot with a primate obsession.

Unbearable.

"What's got you in a fit?" His tormentor asked, eyes shifting between the ever-present clip board of records and the pacing animal in striking distance.

"Oh I don't know Fitz." He answered, louder than was necessary. "What does your intimate knowledge of the inner workings of my troubled mind tell you is wrong with me?"

"Sexual tension. I don't need a Rorschach test to tell me that. I'm not blind." Fitz muttered into his notes.

"I'm flattered but I think of us as just friends."

"Ward, I wouldn't let you watch my monkey. We're not friends. Not to mention I gave up on unrequited love last year. It's exhausting and…ehm uh…"

This was the first time in a while Ward had heard Fitz stumble. Maybe he and his ex-teammate weren't exactly friends any longer, but he could at least relate to the issue.

"Bullshit?"

Fitz's eyes flickered up, he grinned before the look was wiped out and he was back to considering his tidy scribbles. With a nod Ward returned to his back and forth trip between the far wall and the doors.

"Are you seriously planning on giving me a Rorschach test?" He questioned, stretching his arms and back, as he moved.

"Please. Like that's not the first test you learned to beat." Fitz answered, pen tapping steadily against his chin. Ward smiled a little, rolling his shoulders.

"Where is Judas anyway?"

At least the damn monkey was a distraction. The little guy liked to wind his furry body through Ward's fingers. Climb on his head. Snuggle into the crook of his neck and fall asleep.

"I'll bring him next time, don't worry." Fitz said patiently. Ward's teeth clenched together with a creaking sound. He was visibly agitated. This didn't happen. This was wrong.

I've got to get out of here.

"Fitz. I'm serious. I gotta get to the gym. Or just let me run up and down the hall for a while, anything. I keep popping the damn stitches on my hand when I do pushups and rolls in here. Simmons says she'll chop the hand off before she puts another set in."

"I told you. Coulson hasn't cleared you to be anywhere else. Simmons has to give the go ahead for you to be checked out of here. She says you still need medical supervision for your…eh hmm."

"Head wound."

"Yes thank you." Fitz snapped a little. "I knew the words, I was just trying to concentrate on this bit here." He gestured vaguely at some part of the board Ward couldn't see. "Tell me the story about Buddy again."

The idea had Ward's stomach churning and a now common pain hitting him somewhere behind his eyes. He had to remind himself when this happened that he'd been given every body scan there was, to search for anything like a kill switch.

He'd been clean. But it didn't feel like it.

"No." He answered.

Feeling more and more like he was actually caged. Like he was suffocating in this damn room.

"Ward." Fitz said evenly.

"No!" He could see the way the other man's head shot up and the gaze that fixed on him.

He told himself to calm down. Showing any aggression towards Fitz in any way was not to be tolerated. Not by the team and especially not by him.

Not after the Bus.

Never again.

But he couldn't stop. His body felt disconnected. His heart ricocheted around his ribcage in a panicked attempt to escape.

His voice kept tearing itself from his throat even as he told it to be silent.

"I don't want to tell you anything! It happened! It's over!" His body carried him closer to Fitz and the panic that resided in his chest flooded the rest of him.

He couldn't stop.

Why can't I stop?

Halting finally, directly in front of the little engineer, he tried to get some kind of message through the eyes that felt like they were about to plummet from his head.

Fitz! Get away from me!

Fitz stayed quite still in his place, back leaning on the wall. Eyes staring unflinchingly up at the beast above him.

"Who the hell gave you the right!?" Ward was screaming.

And he couldn't stop.

His arm flashed out and connected with a quiet thud into the wall next to Fitz's head.

The pain radiating up from the busted stitches on his throbbing knuckles made him suck in a great shuddering breath as everything in his body settled back into its usual rhythms.

"Ward. Step. Back. Now." May's voice sounded from the doorway and he knew she gave her warning behind the barrel of a gun. If she were feeling gracious maybe it was loaded with ICER's.

Surprisingly Fitz shot out an arm underneath Ward's, which still rested where it had landed, a hand held out to May asking her to wait. His gaze never leaving Ward's.

"Blink once if you can hear me."

He blinked.

"Blink twice if you're finally having the life changing moment that is the appreciation of my genius."

"Fitz."

The name gasped from between his lips as something akin to terror seeped into him.

Blue eyes considered him carefully. After a moment Fitz nodded reassuringly

"Back then are we?"

Ward didn't know how Fitz could possibly realize or have the slightest idea of what had just happened, but all he could do was nod dumbly in reply.

"You good?" May again, sounding a little more at ease.

"Yeah we're fine." Fitz replied, side stepping around Ward, who couldn't seem to pull his hand from the wall. "I told you not to come in unless he actually attacked me."

"Yeah well Coulson overruled you." May answered without apology. "What did you do to him? It looked like he just snapped."

"I'll save you the long medical term but basically, I annoyed him until he broke. And you coming in like that could have set him off worse." Fitz grumbled, the noise of a scratching pen reaching Ward's ears.

"And then I'd have shot him." May supplied, her voice coming closer. "Is that why you told Coulson to keep him in here and made Simmons use those stitches that kept popping apart?"

"Yes and please tell me you at least used the non-lethal rounds."

"What can I say? Coulson's just overriding everyone today. Me included. Non-lethal." With a great effort he pulled his bloody hand from the wall. "You don't believe me Fitz? Want to check the clip?" May's voice was somewhere between humor and offense.

"No." Quick, decisive, more writing. "I believe you."

"Can he hear us?" Her voice was close but Ward was too busy trying to come to terms with what had just happened.

He'd been a moment away from destroying everything. Again.

"Eh, I believe so. Though while he's having these episodes I'm not sure. I'll ask him soon as he quits staring at the wall like a crazy person."

I am though. I am…

"You sure he can hear us? Hey, Ward." Calm voice right next to him. "Coulson was the one that took your shoes… Ward?"

By degrees he turned his head to look at her. Taking one more shuddering breath.

"He did?" If he wasn't already in a mild state of shock the quick grin that flashed and disappeared would've been like a miracle. As it was he continued to look at her in confusion.

"You stable? Or do I need to stay?"

He didn't answer, how could he? How would he know?

"We're fine." Fitz replied for him. "Can you ask Simmons to give clearance on light physical activity now?"

Ward watched May nod and then depart from the room.

Holy shit. Fitz was right… Damn it!

Turning he watched as his makeshift therapist flipped through several layers of notes. Checking and rechecking things.

Pen steadily tapping.

"You shouldn't have let her go." Ward muttered. Walking to his bed and climbing atop it, crossing his legs and resting his mildly aching head in his hands.

Fitz only made a dismissive movement with his pen tapping hand.

"Och, you're fine now. Tell me, on a scale from one to demolishing my ruggedly handsome features, where would that episode rank at?"

And they call me crazy…

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It was totally silent in Coulson's office. Skye and Jemma sat knee to knee at the edge of their respective seats as they watched Ward place his head back in his hands and Fitz go over his next choice of tests. Coulson was standing off to one side eyes set on the wall sized screen. His arms folded securely, fingers tapping out an unknown tune on a bicep.

After a minute or so May came through the door and they all stared at her for confirmation. She returned their gazes ending on Coulson. Shoulders jerking back in a shrug the warrior gave a curt nod.

"You're sure?" The Director asked, voice tense.

"That he isn't playing us? No." May answered, to the point as always. "Fitz seems to be though."

"But you aren't?"

"With Ward? Hard to tell." Silence again for a moment. "But he did look...pretty destroyed."

Skye understood May's hesitation to commit to an answer. Grant Ward had fooled all of them. For months. Every single member of this team had cared for him. Had believed he returned those sentiments in his own crusty way.

Not that she'd admit it aloud but Skye had been hoping for something like this. Some sign that, given the choice, Ward wouldn't have done the things he had.

That this family would make him want something more.

That she would mean enough to him, that he'd want to take a different path.

That's partly why she hated him so much. Of anyone here, Ward, was supposed to get it. That need of family. A place to belong. She'd thought that was something they shared. That had turned into just another aspect of his betrayal.

It wasn't personal...

"Thanks May, keep an eye on them for me. Simmons if you could go patch up that hand, I need to have a word with Skye." The two other women nodded and left quietly.

"Does it feel like you're saying that a lot to me lately?"

"I need to know where you're at with this.' When she opened her mouth to respond, he forestalled her with a hand. "And don't say fine. And don't say you can handle it. You remember what I told you about the team that took you?"

"They say they're the "Real S.H.I.E.L.D. which is crap. Bobbi and Mack work for them, which is something I owe them a throat punch for. They tried to take over the base but you guys were able to repel them. May was knocked unconscious, suffering a concussion, due to the wall they blew through during her attempts to apprehend Mack. Whose one saving grace at this point is that he threw himself over Fitz at the last second, protecting him from the blast."

"They're not bad people." Coulson said halfheartedly.

"Bullshit." Skye replied promptly receiving a raised eyebrow in return. "Sorry, I mean, Sir. That's bullshit Sir. They all know what we've been through. Not just the organization but this team. Bobbi and Mack knew about Ward. Heard what he did and condemned him along with the rest of us. They even had the nerve to berate Fitz for keeping my secret. Maybe the fallout wasn't as bad this time, but I'm not willing to forgive and forget."

"What about with Ward? Forgiving him back in the realm of possibility?"

"I don't know." She responded honestly, eyes landing back on the big screen where Simmons worked on Ward's hand.

He was very carefully not looking at her. But Skye saw Simmons was being very gentle with the offered hand.

"This 'Real S.H.I.E.L.D.-"

"You're the real S.H.I.E.L.D." She interrupted vehemently receiving a small smile.

"Well, regardless, they put me in a bad spot. They either, still have Hunter, or he was with them from the start. A lot of our other agents are in the field or were wounded in the attack."

"So we need Ward?"

"It wouldn't hurt to have him, that is if Fitz can get him… de-washed or whatever." He muttered eyes on the screen, hands gesturing vaguely. "And if he agrees, and if it's not an issue for the rest of the team, and you."

Skye looked at him, eyes wide and brows raised.

"Whoa you doing ok Director? That's dangerously close to feelings and hug territory." He gave her a glare undercut with a slight smile.

"I lost S.H.I.E.L.D. and you in one day."

"That's not true."

"It is. A big reason it happened is because I've been running things like I thought it was expected of me. Strong. Decisive. Keeping things quiet. From everyone, including my team."

"Like Fury."

"Like Fury." He agreed, turning to her fully. "But that's just not my style. Not anymore. We're better as a unit. All of us, including me. I've asked the rest of the team. Even Simmons says it should be up to you. About Ward. So take some time, and get back to me."

"How long do I have?" She asked, surprised.

"Not long." Coulson replied making his way around his desk, tapping a couple things to make the screen go back to its S.H.I.E.L.D. eagle background. Sharing a quick nod she left and made her way to the infirmary.

She wanted to check on Fitz.

And Ward.

Upon entering she saw the two scientists with their heads together, near touching, murmuring quietly. Ward lay on his bed, hands lying on his stomach, eyes blindly looking at the ceiling. Making a quick decision she made her way to the end of his bed, coming alongside she smacked his feet to the side lightly.

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His gaze slid down to fix on her.

"Shove over Hulk." He could feel his heartrate speed up just a little as their gaze's locked. He was surprised for a moment, he hadn't heard her, and couldn't believe she wanted to sit on the same bed as him.

Not after what just happened.

He could tell she was about to take her nails to one of his bare feet when he pulled his large frame into a sitting position. His legs crossed with elbows resting on bent knees. Hopping up lightly she mirrored his pose.

They considered each other as Skye tried to figure out what it was she wanted to say. There was still an embarrassing amount of open wound between them.

"You sure you want to be this close?" He questioned.

Watching her as a myriad of thoughts spun behind her eyes. All that May training slackening as she watched him. Was she here to tell him they'd decided to boot him after all? Maybe they wanted to put him back in his old cell.

Maybe that wasn't a bad idea.

I am not a good man Skye.

"Hmm? What?" She asked.

"Hulk." He answered with a tug at his lips that didn't quite make a smile.

"I'm just glad to pass on the title." She said wryly, watching him carefully.

"Who called you the Hulk?" He asked, his brow clearing a little.

"Simmons isn't the biggest fan of my new abilities."

"Yeah well, she's had to handle a lot." He replied surprising her, and to a degree himself. "We all handle change differently."

"And you? How're you handling it?" He tried to stop his features from contorting but could feel the deep furrow of his brow, the tightness in his lips.

"I almost…I swore I wouldn't…" With a tight jerk of his head he looked away from her and she followed his gaze.

Simmons was speaking very rapidly and excitedly as Fitz nodded quickly, a grin pulling at his mouth.

"Fitz?"

"And Simmons." He answered looking back to her. "All of you. I told myself after I woke up in that hotel room after San Juan. That I was done. I was not going to let the darkness inside me infect the rest of you. I wouldn't take a job or pick up arms against a single member of this team again."

He'd like to blame this torrent of information on the brainwashing too but knew that besides feeling a desperate need to connect, it was him. He needed this. To have control of what came out of his mouth. To make her, specifically her, understand what he'd gone through since she shot him.

Laying in the bed with Kara feeding him stolen antibiotics, he'd refused pain medication, not trusting her at the time not to sell him out or kill him. He'd had a chance to look in the situation and realize he'd been doing what he was best at. Lying.

At least this time it was to himself too.

"Didn't realize I provided you with such an epiphany." She retorted, he could tell she was trying to keep her tone light.

His awareness narrowed to the fine point of her lips. He'd always loved that little half grin she did with her lips slightly parted.

She'd given him that look after she'd kissed him the first time.

Pulling himself away from that train of thought angrily, he replied before he got everything under control.

"You have no idea." His voice sounded off and he saw it immediately make her defensive.

"Hey it's not like you didn't have it coming."

He had to get this out before he lost his nerve. Before this feeling of his mind being cracked open passed and he closed around it to lick his wounds closed.

"I know." Her eyes widened at his blunt acceptance. "After the things I've done you shooting me is exactly what I deserved. It made me realize that once again I had tied myself to someone in the hopes that they could change me. Fix me."

He needed her to believe him, even if she couldn't trust him. The knowledge that someone had done to him what they had to Kara set his teeth on edge. It obviously wasn't exactly the same but he definitely hadn't had control earlier with Fitz.

Worse he'd had that feeling before. Many times. Whenever he heeded it, he'd been told he was getting soft, weak. Until when it happened he'd smashed it down as brutally as he could and did what he needed to.

I'm a survivor…

"I thought you said after you came out of sedation you were clear." She stated, eyes still wide from his confession. He smiled a little and rolling his eyes towards the ceiling scraped his hands over his scruffy cheeks.

"Yeah, well it doesn't count as a lie if you believe it yourself."

"Alright you two. Enough lollygagging." Fitz announced coming over with Simmons at his elbow. "That brain isn't going to shrink itself, let's get a move on."

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She considered Ward for a moment knowing he wasn't going to deny Fitz anything right now.

She could see the strain around his mouth and eyes as the realization of his lack of control set in.

Knowing what she did of his past she had no doubt that what had happened with Fitz had kicked up so many bad memories for him. So many questions.

Not knowing who you were or if you were able to control yourself was a terrible feeling.

She couldn't let someone else be alone with the feelings she knew so intimately could utterly wreck you.

She also couldn't decide what was more terrifying, letting him in, or letting him go.

Hoping for something and losing it hurts more than never hoping for anything…

"You know what Fitz? I think one break through is enough for today don't you?"

"But-"

"I mean you wouldn't want to cause some kind of damage. If he's going to be sticking around Coulson will be really mad if you break him."

Fitz's expression froze and she got the distinct feeling he was stopping a smile. She didn't know if it was him being optimistic about the possible reforming of the family or if he just really liked picking apart Ward's mind.

Probably both.

"I'm staying?" Ward asked with that kicked puppy look on his face that used to always make her want to reach out to him. Smooth the lines from his forehead with a kiss or a touch.

How could someone that looked so strong be so broken?

I am not a good man Skye.

How was she supposed to make this decision? She'd never been able to tell when he was lying. It made her doubt everything else around her. She hated that.

She hated that after everything she wanted to be able to.

Trust him.

Depend on him.

Like him.

More maybe…

Hope.

She wanted hope. And that illogical want was the single scariest thing she'd ever felt.

"Do you want to?" She countered, buying time.

Old habits die hard. Harder even then Grant Ward apparently, because now that he wasn't trying to abduct her or actively attack her team she couldn't bring herself to cast him out.

Just like when Mike had that device over his heart and he'd gasped out her name with what sounded like his dying breath.

Skye…

He seemed to find some hidden resolve and with a deep breath he nodded. They held one another's gaze and she felt the oxygen slowly seep from her lungs. Preparing herself for what was to come.

And nodded in return.

"Alright well if we're not trying electro therapy I'm going to leave." Simmons said with forced levity. "Because it feels as though there's going to be a group hug any moment and I did so recently eat. Excuse me."

They broke their eye contact with sheepish expressions as Fitz muttered about the healing powers of group hugs and turned to put away his notes.

"Simmons cleared you for light activity?" With a tight smile he nodded. "Well. Then. Let's go Super Spy."

Surprise flashed in dark eyes before he nodded and followed her off the bed.

"No sparring!" Fitz called after them.

Reaching the gym in the base they agreed on the strength exercises that May had taught Skye. The slow meditative movements that took focus and stamina to complete correctly. They were all about precision and accuracy.

Ward didn't know how to do them.

Which meant touching.

Skye quickly found she regretted saving him from Mad Scientist Fitz.

Bolts of energy leapt from his arms, his hands, rolled in waves off his back where she touched him, correcting his progress.

The pads of her fingers dragged along his forearm, across the inside of his elbow, stopping at the swell of muscle. She tried to ignore how his throat worked as she did this. His eyes remaining resolutely forward.

"After the arms bend you move into the next position." She explained. Tracking her path back to his fingers she curled her hand around his, unable to stop the ball of her thumb from brushing along his knuckles.

Bringing her other hand to a shoulder blade she ran her fingers lightly down the twitching muscles of his back, moving him through the next dance like motion. Hand stopping at the small of his back she guided him to the final resting stance.

They were suddenly very close without her realizing exactly how that last turn would press his body against hers. She was watching the muscle in his jaw jump when he tilted his face down in her direction.

Her focus went to his mouth before she was able to track the rest of the way up to his eyes. They went still for so long she lost time, frozen by this new dynamic.

"Skye?" He asked. Finally breaking the silence with her name as a half whisper. Snatching her hands back she moved away and smiled as reassuringly as she could.

"Right. O-kay then! Those are the moves! So let's…"

"Move?"

"Yeah!"

Why is my voice so loud and chipper?

They moved in tandem as they swept slowly through the steps. A fine layer of perspiration winking off arms and necks.

For the first time Skye felt a certain amount of peace while being so close to him.

Maybe this could work.

"Skye." She snapped around at the tone of May's voice.

"What's wrong?" She asked moving forward instantly on alert.

"Both of you come on." Her S.O. commanded with a glare thrown over Skye's shoulder towards Ward.

Looking back at him in confusion and returning his shrug she jogged to catch up with May, Ward's bare feet slapping on the concrete behind them.

"Is it the other team? Are they trying to break in?" She asked trying and failing to read the tightly controlled look on May's face.

There were no alarms sounding, no cracking of gunfire. May was leading them to the rec room, which was strange if they were being attacked.

Coming around the last corner she saw Coulson, Fitz, and Simmons. Two of them with weapons drawn the last looking like he was decidedly unhappy and wanted his monkey.

"What's…" She began before seeing who they were aiming at.

It was her.

She stood gazing at a reflection of herself. Watched her face break into a brilliant smile when the man behind Skye came around the corner.

"Ward!" Her doppelganger said in exultation.

"Kara?"

You son of a bitch.

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Ok well little Fitz/Ward, little Coulson/Skye, and a little Skye/Ward. And tada Kara! So we will be getting what happened with Kara and Ward next chapter and why she decided to wear Skye's face and see the fall out of that decision between Skye and Ward. Let me know how you liked this chapter. Feels a little all over the place but it's getting to be finals so I hope y'all will forgive a rocky chapter or two from me. Thanks all!