Trusting

Carol noticed that Daryl seemed quieter than usual at dinner. Not sullen quiet but withdrawn quiet. He looked around her and not at her. He didn't eat much and his eyes kept straying to their Christmas tree. He had told the night that they put the tree up that this was his first Christmas tree since his mother died when he was eight except for the time Merle made one out of wine bottles and beer cans when he was sixteen. He didn't have a lot of good memories about Christmas. Why not change that right now?

"Let's go to see the lights at the Atlanta Botanical Gardens," Carol suggested.

Daryl frowned, "You want to go look at some plants tonight?"

"Jenna was telling me all about their light display today. It not too cold tonight and it's not raining. Let's go. It'll be fun." Suddenly Carol wanted to go. Just to be out walking around in dazzling lights with Daryl instead of worrying about what was going to happen.

Daryl shrugged his shoulders, "I'm never been there." His tone was dismissive.

Carol stood up, "I used to take Sophia there so I know the way. I haven't been there since she started college." I want you to see it, Daryl.

"You put on some warmer clothes. I'll clean up," Daryl started clearing the table. He's not looking at me.

Carol went into the bedroom. She smelled Jason's cologne. Her suit jacket was the bed where she had put it when she came in. Shit. I wonder if it will air out. Do I smell like that?

She took a super quick shower and put her smelly clothes in the clothes dryer and put it on refresh setting. She dried her short hair which had decided to bloom into a riot of curls. She jammed a beret on and grabbed her coat. Daryl followed her out of the apartment with all the enthusiasm of a man facing a prostate exam.

She drove her little hybrid and its small size made Daryl jumpy, "Slow down. We hit anything in this tin can and we're pancakes."

We're making happy memories, Daryl. "More like scrambled eggs, but I'll slow down." Carol did reduce her speed at least five mile an hour.

She found a parking space on the street and they walked toward the dazzling displays of lights of all colors. It was magic and fairytales come true and Carol had always loved bringing Sophia here. Daryl winced at the price and was stoical going in, but somewhere in the Tunnel of Light he took her hand, "I love you, and I'm going to let it ride." Let it ride? Isn't that what he did when he gambled that his poker hand would win the huge pot of money? When he took a tremendous risk but trusted his instincts?

They had a wonderful time wandering around the displays. Daryl used his phone to take photos of the lights, Carol, and even asked more than one passerby to take photos of the two of them. He sent photos to Sophia. In the end Carol was the one to call a halt. "Let's go have pancakes."

Daryl took one more photo of the model trains, "Rather eat one than be one." Smart ass.

Later they ran up the stairs to Carol's apartment and once inside Daryl headed for the bedroom. Carol stopped him, "Will you think I'm kinky if I want to be with you by our own light display?" She motioned to their Christmas tree. I am going to feel twelve kinds of a fool if he laughs.

Daryl narrowed his eyes at her. "Yes, I will think you are kinky. Good kinky, not bad kinky. Are you going to make me turn the lights off on the Christmas tree?"

Smart ass. "No."Carol checked the bolt on the front door and started to take her clothes off. Daryl disappeared into the bedroom and came back with a blanket which he put on the floor. He watched her as she finished undressing. "You are perfect."

"It's your turn, Sunshine." Carol sat down on the blanket and pulled one edge up over her, "It's a little cold down here."

Daryl turned off the other lights in the apartment and there was only the lights from the tree. He managed to shimmy out of his clothes in record time and then joined Carol on the blanket. "I'll try to warm you up."

"I love you, and I had a wonderful evening." She nestled in his arms and they kissed.

Daryl laughed, "I can taste the cinnamon from your pancakes and I love you more."

"Is it true that cinnamons acts as an aphrodisiac on men?" I'm sure I read that somewhere.

Daryl nodded, "That would explain why I have this urge to merge. How about merging?" Let's not use the term "merging" right now. It's kind of a downer."

"All talk and no walk." Carol ran her arms over his biceps. I love his heart and his mind, but I do love me some muscled up arms. He

Later Daryl looked up at the tree, "It smells like pine. Like the earth. I love that smell."

Carol yawned, "It's a good smell." Daryl's got something else he wants to say. I'll wait.

"I loved the light show… especially watching the little kids see it." He shifted his position on the floor so that he could better see Carol's face. "I wouldn't mind having children someday." Oh, Daryl. I know when you say wouldn't mind something it means that you really want it.

"I'll be forty one next year. That ship has probably already sailed, "And do I want to start all that again? I don't know.

"There are thousands of foster children waiting to be adopted in Georgia. It's not a deal breaker with me. I want to be with you more than I want to be a dad, but you do realize that your mother everyone now."

"No, I don't".

"Yeah, you do. You have Sophia and Carl to tend to. You are the world's best aunt to Jada, James, and Judith. You baby Andrea, Michonne, Jesse, and Rick. You mother your team at work. Now you baby me. I love it. You don't even know you do. You were smiling at those kids tonight too." Daryl began to stare up at the tree again.

Carol stared at him, "Children aren't props to your life. They're lots of work. All day long and seven days a week." Even I don't like me right now. I feel like Cruella DeVille. Dogs and children should run from me.

Daryl began to laugh, "Having kids sounds like life with Merle. He threw tantrums and wasn't always potty trained. I'd be driving around all night trying to find him. He finally grew up and I've had a few years to be without a child in my life."

Carol laughed, "Now I have the image of Merle in a diaper throwing a tantrum in my mind. We would have to change our lives to fit children in." One door closes and another opens up.

"My life changed when we got together. This isn't about me pushing you into what I want. It's about me being honest with you. You need to be honest with me."

Shit. "Honestly? Everything at work is a snafu right now. Everything in my life is changing. Nothing is working out the way I thought it was going to go. My mother always said that things work out the way they are supposed to. I am going to be busy for another couple of weeks and then we can talk about the future? Is that okay?" Carol took his hand. It's calloused and rough but he is always so gentle when he touches me. He'll be a hell of a father.

"Seriously, Merle was great training for fatherhood. Our kids couldn't possibly be as bad as he was and I still loved him. Do what you have to do at work and when that gets settled we can talk more. I just hope I can get up off this floor without looking like an old man."

He sat up and held a hand out for Carol. They got up semi-gracefully and went through their nightly routines. Carol was relieved that the cologne smell had disappeared from the bedroom. Rather smell pine and the earth than that.

TWDTWDTWD

Carol met with Jason and another federal prosecutor name Laurel Rice the day after her trip to the botanical gardens. This time they met at an office building downtown after work. Laurel Rice made it clear that she was the one in charge. About Carol's age, Laurel wasn't taking any prisoners. She wanted an air tight case. No matter what it cost.

"I've looked over all the material that you made available to us. It's good and you have managed to show that Trey Saunders is lying to the owner of the company. We have him but we don't have enough to show that Grayson Andrews is aware of anything wrong. In fact, we have no proof that Mr. Andrews even spoke to you about this matter. Carol, we need you to wear a wire. You need to get him telling you to leave Trey alone and we need something that links him to this. Can you do it?"

Carol shrugged her shoulders. "I'll have to push Trey to get Grayson to come to his defense. The only way I can think to do that without raising suspicion is to pretend that I am trying to help. I can only hope that they have overestimated my naivety and underestimated my intelligence." I'll try not to think about Karen Silkwood.

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that." Laurel Rice almost smiled, "You know your way around the data banks at your company. We need to find out if this is the only case of raiding pensions by your company. It would be good if someone would talk to you about your possible promotion and if we could show that they'll trade you a promotion if you keep quiet"

Carol dreamed that night that she was at work and wanted to go home because Daryl and Sophia were leaving for the farm. In her dream she kept finding locked doors and elevators that never came. Her heart was pounding when she woke up. Daryl was still asleep and Carol inched closer to him. For the first time in my life I have a loving and sexually satisfying relationship with a man. I've been proud of my independence. I never wanted to be dependent on anyone after Ed. I'm trying to do this without Daryl. Shutting him out because I want to prove that Carol McAllister doesn't need anyone. She can leap tall buildings and save pensions all by her damn self. Remember Superman never got laid. Lois Lane must have been crawling up the walls in sexual frustration and he just kept running into phone booths and leaving her behind.

Carol spent a good deal of her time the next day doing research. She did manage a cheery visit to Trey to check on his progress. He was as always haughty and superior and she needled him a little bit. "Trey, sometimes we think we're on track and we're really off the rails. We all need someone help from time to time. You are on my team. You work for me. So by tomorrow I expect to see what you are up to."

Trey's face was mottled with fury, "Ms. McAllister, I am working very hard on this project. It is my chance to show what I can do. I work for the company and so do you. You should remember that." He shut up at that point and Carol went back to her office waiting to see what would happen next.

Grayson showed up at five o'clock. "Carol, how's everything going?" Very cheery.

Carol resisted the impulse to ask him to talk into her breasts since he liked to look at them so much. "We're busy. How are you?"

Grayson kept her a rueful smile. Carol sensed she was in for a scolding. Tired of the boobs already? Don't you like my new pushup bra? Courtesy of the Department of Justice.

"Trey's uncle just called me and he wasn't happy. I thought I made it clear that we wanted young Trey to have independence on this America Strong project."

Carol gave him her best smile, "I have given him two weeks to work independently. He's on my team and we're a week away from making recommendations to the board." He's going to be pissed off. I hope.

Grayson leaned toward her, "Let me tell you one last time. You leave Trey alone. He's shown me his work and it is excellent. He's now off your team. Now hear this. You have a good chance at moving up, but not if you keep butting in when you've been told to mind your own business. Do we understand each other? Trey is going to stay in his office and you are going to stay in yours and you aren't going to go in there again."

Carol found it really easy to pretend to be afraid. "So I'm not going to be in trouble if Trey messes up." First rule of business, make sure your ass is covered. Grayson will expect that I won't care if it doesn't affect me.

Grayson eased up a bit, "No, Trey is on my team and I think he'll hit it out of the park." Back to sports analogies. We're all on the same team again. Better push the envelope just a little bit.

"So I'll have your support for the promotion if I just let Trey's project go through without my supervision." She smiled at him. Cruella would be so proud.

Grayson narrowed his eyes at her, "Miss Carol, it does appear that you might be late to get in the game but you seem to be ready to put some points on the board. Yes, you leave my boy Trey alone and I'll support you in becoming the head of mergers and acquisitions. We need people at that level who understand that sometimes you just need to look the other way."

Carol gave him her sweetest smile, "Grayson, I'm all about the bottom line. What's good for the company is good for me."

She met Laurel at her office on the way home. Laurel took the tape and asked her to continue wearing the tape to see if she was approached again. "I am still wanting more on Grayson. The little birds all start singing when they think that they are going to Leavenworth. We squeeze Grayson and he may roll over on somebody else. So keep up the research. Just another week or so."

Carol nodded, "I'm looking at acquisitions that Grayson has been involved in during the last four years. I'm going home now." She stood up to go.

Laurel looked up at her, "Why are you doing this?"

Carol looked out the window at the sunset. Time to be home. "I don't have to have this job to be happy. I'm happy because of the people in my life. One door closes and another opens and I'm ready to walk through the door."

She was home before Daryl and she had cooked his favorite foods. Steak and potatoes. Apple crisp.

He came in a rush, "You're home early." He seemed almost excited to see her and he was to see the steak. What can I say? We are meant to be.

Daryl went to shower as she finished the potatoes. He was soon back dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt. He kissed the nape of her neck, "Is this the condemned man gets a hearty meal kinda thing?"

Carol enjoyed the shiver that his kiss evoked in her, "This is what I cooked for you the night you blackmailed me into making dinner. We talked for hours. So I think we should eat and talk. I am going to talk about my job and what is going on. You are going to talk about why you keep running back to the farm when you said that you love the city. We could talk about how we want to spend the second half of our lives and whether we want children. But I'm ready to talk."

"I'm hungry and I'm tired. And now you want to talk?" Daryl grumped. "I do get to eat right? We aren't going to talk all night. Are we?"

Carol laughed, "Oh, stop being so grouchy. If I am going to open up and bare my secrets to you? Then you have to open up and talk to me."

Daryl took a bite of steak, "You want the truth. I hate the city and I would like to go live in the country. I'd like to live on a farm."

Carol chewed on her first bite of steak, "I am involved in a federal investigation of my company. I am going to lose my job. I would love to live on a farm."

Daryl took a drink of water, "So we both want to leave the city and live in the country. You are going to be unemployed and I'll have to support your lazy ass for the rest of our lives." Smart ass.

"We can sell our apartments to get the money to run a farm. I have been liquidating my money since the investigation started. So I am prepared to support your lazy ass for the rest of our lives." She put some salt on her baked potato.

Daryl grinned at her, "I've got something to show you." He rushed next door and came back with a folder. "There's a farm for sale. Just five miles from Sophia and Carl."

Carol went into the kitchen and came back with a bottle of wine, "Sophia called me about that farm a few days ago. I talked to the owner before I left work today. It's not for sale right now."

Daryl's face crashed to the floor. "Fuck, I should have told you earlier."

Carol let him sweat. This was going to be payback for that lazy ass remark he made a little while ago. "It's not for sale now, because we closed the deal over the phone. I'll send you a bill for your half of our farm."

Daryl whirled her around, "I love you. We're going to live on the Old Hippie's farm." He stopped suddenly, "Don't go back to that place."

Carol opened the wine, "I'm going back for a week or so. I'll be out before Christmas. You need to talk to Jesse." She poured Daryl a glass of wine and then one for herself, "Let's toast to our partnership, our farm, and the second half of our lives."

They drank and then kissed. They looked at the photos of the farm in the folder while they ate dinner. They called Sophia to tell her the news. Carol realized that she had drank a little too much wine.

"I may be a little drunk and I think you owe me one time in which you take advantage of my drunken state to make mad passionate love to me while my inhibitions are lowered."

"If you can say all that then you ain't all that drunk. I would take advantage of you, but you look ready to pass out. Come on, sweetheart." Carol brushed her teeth, flossed, and went to the potty. Daryl helped her into her pink striped nightshirt and held her until she went to sleep.

He did the dishes and called Merle. They talked for a long time. Daryl turned off the Christmas tree and straightened up the magazines on the coffee table. He put the latest issue of Mother Earth News on top.

This is going to be best Christmas of my life.

AN

It's not over but I wanted to leave our characters in a happy place. It's Christmas.

Here is the link to the Atlanta Botanical Gardens.

/events-classes/events/garden-lights

Karen Silkwood was a whistleblower on the nuclear industry who died in mysterious circumstances.

For all you lovers of angst… it's Christmas.

I hope that for all of you that you have the best Christmas of your life. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Caryl on in the New Year.