A/N: LOL this story doesn't actually have a real plot, but I'm glad you guys are enjoying it nonetheless ^_^ If you guys are happy, I'm happy :) Gonna try to knock out two chapters today xD Let's see if I succeed!
Ummm I guess this is something of an angst fic guys? LOL categorize it however you wish *u*
I really appreciate you reading the story everyone! Thank you for being so sweet! It means a lot to me :D
Disclaimer: It's a good thing I don't own GMW because these poor characters would be put through the ringer...
Lucas walked through the art hallway of the school, curiously glancing at the portraits on the walls and photographs and ceramics pieces in the glass display cases. He smiled to himself when he walked by a small display showing a piece Maya had won in some professional competition. He could tell she was definitely the pride and joy of this school. She looked a little funny in the photograph at the head of the display squished in between the judges who towered over her by more than a head. And undeniably cute.
Since it was just about noon and lunch hour was upon them, students were rushing down the hall, chattering and giggling excitedly about finally getting to have a small break from lectures and chat with friends. He got a couple looks from some of them, no doubt wondering who the hell he was.
Lucas passed by a small computer lab and turned a corner before he finally arrived at Maya's studio art room. He walked in the doorway and saw that she was talking to a student, so he waited, leaning patiently against the doorway and watching her.
"Class was super kick ass today. What are we doing tomorrow?" her student asked, a grin on his face as he tugged on his worn leather jacket.
"It's a surprise, Joey." Maya smirked as she cleaned up some brushes from the table. "But if you want a hint, it involves spray paint. And some splatters, so make sure to wear something you don't mind getting dirty."
"Hells to the yes!" Joey grinned, pumping a fist in the air. "Hey, if I correctly guess what the lesson is, will you go on a date with me on Friday?"
"No."
She shook her head with a roll of her eyes and when she moved to put the bunch of brushes in a bin, one dropped from her hands and rolled across the floor. It hit Lucas' shoe, and Maya suddenly noticed him standing there. She jumped slightly in surprise, clearly not expecting to see him, and a small gasp escaped her lips.
"Lucas! Dammit, stop sneaking up on me!"
"Hey, is this guy giving you a hard time?" Joey asked with snarl, standing up from his stool threateningly. "Want me to rough him up for you, Maya?"
Lucas rose a brow, giving him a dry look. Was this kid for real? Lucas didn't know how old Joey was, yet he was sizing Lucas up with a glare as if he had no qualms getting into a fight with a grown adult. Clearly he had a thing for Maya. Although Lucas didn't blame him. Hell, currently Lucas was in the same boat of an unrequited love.
"It's fine." Maya said with a sigh, taking the brush from Lucas after he stooped and picked it up for her, "I know him. He's a friend."
"And by 'friend', do you mean just a friend or do you mean someone who's boning you?" Joey's eyes narrowed suspiciously as he stared at Lucas uneasily. "Shit, look at this guy. It's the second one, isn't it? Fuck my life."
Maya snorted in amusement, rolling her eyes as she tossed the dirty brush into the bin. She picked up the bin of art supplies covered in paint and lugged it to the sink, dropping it in with a loud clatter.
"That?" She dusted her hands of dried paint flakes. "Is none of your business. Now get out of my room so I can talk to him, you little shit."
He grinned. "Oooh, I love it when you talk to me like that."
"Joey."
"Alright, alright. I'm out." He grabbed his schoolbag and made his way out of the classroom, making the 'I've got my eyes on you' motion to Lucas as he walked out the door. Lucas was tempted to laugh, a small smile on his face at the amusing antics. "See you tomorrow, Maya."
"Do your homework for your other classes!" She called out after him.
"Not a chance!" He shouted back.
Maya rolled her eyes again and then plopped down on one of the chairs, kicking her feet up on another across from her and rubbing her neck.
"It's only the middle of the day, and I'm already exhausted…"
"Your student certainly seems to really like you." Lucas smiled, walking over and leaning against the edge of the table near her. "A lot."
He could definitely see that Maya would be good with children. He'd already suspected she'd be a caring mother back when she would volunteer to teach art at the children's hospital back when they were in college. It warmed his heart to see the care and attention she gave them all, making sure they could be happy despite the rough hand they'd been dealt in life. He figured her adamancy that the children enjoyed themselves emanated from the childhood she never truly had. Seeing that care and attention again widened the smile on his face.
Maya would be a great mother, he could tell.
"Not sure if that's a good thing." She said with a snort, "He's a pain in the ass sometimes."
Lucas nodded, and they sat in a somewhat uncomfortable silence for a bit, Lucas observing the half-finished portraits and paintings drying on abandoned easels to avoid looking at her. Maya fiddled with the bottom of her top, her eyes staring holes into the ground.
Lucas wanted to bash his head into a wall. The silence was ironically loud and grating his ears like nails running down a chalkboard. He hadn't expected this to turn out so damn awkward. But then again, what did he expect after a loaded request like hers? And to add to that, he was planning to confess to her too which only made his nerves increase.
He felt kind of stupid, like he was back to being the flustered, nervous wreck he was at twenty, trying and failing to ask Maya out until she lost patience and showed up at his dorm, dressed up and telling him they were going out to dinner.
But this wasn't quite the same situation.
After all, this could very well break the thin strings holding their already fragile relationship together.
"Hey, uh…" she finally said a little awkwardly, "Want to get some lunch? It's my break. And I'm assuming you're here because of my request."
"I… I'd love to, but I have an appointment in an hour. And honestly, I meant to make this quick." Lucas' eyes met hers and he noted the hint of unease in the murky blue-gray. "I made up my mind."
Maya sighed, eyes downcast and her expression hidden from his view. "So if it's quick, I'm assuming it's a no?"
"Maya. I need to know." Lucas moved her feet from the chair across her and sat down in it. She brought her gaze back to his, eyebrows lifting expectantly. "Do you actually want a baby, or is it because you want someone to love you and need you unconditionally? Because what are you going to do when your baby grows up and no longer needs you? Keep having more babies?"
She opened her mouth to speak and then closed it, her brows furrowed pensively. She stared at her hands wrung in her lap for a while before she met his gaze once again.
"You know, I wonder that myself sometimes. I know there is this desire for someone to need me deep down somewhere. And maybe that was my main motivation at one point in time." She shrugged and smiled slightly. "But I also do know that I want children because I've always wanted to have a family of my own. And that's the truth. I just want a family."
He held her gaze for a moment, sensing only sincerity in her words. A sincerity and something like a shrouded yearning that made him wonder just how long Maya had been craving to have children. The thing about her expression was that, although she wasn't necessarily emoting anything profound, there was something deeply etched in her eyes that told him she'd been having these thoughts for a while. She had told him she'd been thinking those thoughts for a couple years, but was that really true? Could there have been a possibility that she'd been thinking those thoughts while they'd been together?
Emma's words came crashing back to him.
Marriage and children were not mutually exclusive.
Lucas swallowed thickly, bracing himself for what could possibly happen. It was now or never. There was a good chance that he could lose Maya after this. But there was also a chance things would work out. Either way, he wouldn't know unless he took a leap of faith and wished for the best.
"Alright Maya. I'll be your donor." Lucas stated. Maya let out a little squeal, a glimmer of excitement in her eyes. "But I have a few conditions. If you're going to be raising our child in the city, then I want to be involved."
"Why?" She looked a little confused.
"Because I also want to raise a family." He held his tongue from saying the 'with you' at the end of his sentence. That had to wait until he got everything else he wanted to say out of the way first. "You're going to be having my kid, and I'm going to get emotionally attached. I don't want to be robbed of a chance of seeing my child grow up, and I don't want them to grow up without a father. I want to assume paternal responsibility."
She nodded. "Fair enough."
"And I don't mean me showing up every once in a while to take our kid off your hands." He clarified, "I mean joint custody. I want us to raise our child together."
"But how would that work?"
"I think... we should live together." Lucas scratched the back of his neck when Maya gave him an odd look. "Hear me out: we lived together for four years, so we know how we work, and it wouldn't be a huge problem for either of us since we're pretty compatible as flatmates. We can live in separate rooms and only see each other when necessary if you want. And after our kid grows up enough, like maybe high school, I can move out again."
"So roommates."
"Yeah, except with a child."
She frowned in thought for a moment before slowly nodding.
"Okay. That's fine, I guess. It could work. But I'm moving in with you. Your apartment has more room."
Lucas nodded. "And one more thing. If we're going to do this, if we're raising a family, we're going to do this the right way."
She frowned, apprehension in her eyes. "Lucas, I don't want to get married. You already know this."
"I didn't say anything about marriage."
Maya stared at him in confusion for a while, brows knitted as she tried to figure out what he meant. And then he watched as the apple of her cheeks rouged the slightest bit and her eyes widened in understanding.
"W-what…? You're serious?"
He shrugged, though even he couldn't deny that he felt a little embarrassed meeting her gaze. But he kept himself from looking at the Donald Duck clock on the wall behind her head.
"In vitro is an expensive process, regardless of how much you saved. Losing fifteen thousand dollars isn't worth it. The way I see it, there's no need for you to spend all that money on a procedure that carries certain risks and possible room for error and mistakes when we're both viable. Also the procedure could fail." He scratched the back of his head. "I think the natural way is a more fullproof method. I mean, if it's alright with you."
"So you mean…" She tapered off, though he knew what she was trying to say.
"Yeah."
She stared at her lap, looking conflicted, the tips of her ears the slightest bit red. "Lucas, do you even realize what you're suggesting? You're asking for something kind of crazy."
"Really? My suggestion is crazy?" He snarked, "This coming from the woman who came out of nowhere asking me to father her child."
"Do you even realize how many times it might take before we're successful? It could take months before we get any results. Several months."
"I still think it's a better method than going to a fertilization clinic. Maybe longer. But safer."
"Okay…" She rose a brow at him. "So you're perfectly fine with me treating it like a process then?"
"I never said that."
Maya's gaze grew bewildered, some concern creeping into the edge of her gaze. She leaned a little away from him, a suspicious glare on her face.
"What?"
It was now or never. Lucas let out a slow breath, meeting Maya's gaze head on.
"If you want me to father your child Maya, you have to know that it won't be impersonal for me. I won't be able to just write it off like an arrangement. Because truth is, despite the fact that we've been over for years, I still love you. And I still only see you as the only woman I want to marry. And I still see you as the only woman I've ever wanted to have a family with."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Maya stood up abruptly, her eyes wide and looking perturbed. "Hold on a second! What the hell are you saying?"
"I've never gotten over you, Maya. And I probably never will. So if you plan on having me as your donor, then I'm telling you right now that you have to be prepared for my emotional baggage because I love you. I'm still in love with you."
"Stop. Wait a minute." She took a step backwards, away from him, shaking her head. Lucas bristled, forcing his face to remain neutral, though this whole confrontation was starting to look a lot like five years ago when Maya told him she couldn't marry him. "Lucas—"
"Those are my conditions and those are some things you need to know if we're going to do this."
"Lucas, wait." She ran her hand through her hair in exasperation. "I can't—"
He cut her off, standing up to leave. He wasn't sure he wanted to hear the rest of her sentence.
"I'll give you some time to think about it. If you honestly no longer want to do this, I understand. But I just wanted to let you know that this 'arrangement' wouldn't be just that for me."
"Lucas…"
She stared up at him, her expression difficult to read, though he didn't want to try to pick it apart. He was sure what he could find would tear him apart.
He smiled, though he knew it was somewhat fake. "I'll see you around."
Maybe he was being ridiculous and childish and maybe he was running away, but he'd already had his heart stomped into pieces by Maya before. He wasn't sure he could handle it if it happened again. Or at the very least, he needed a chance to recuperate before Maya shot him down.
Before Lucas walked out the door, he stopped and glanced back at Maya. She was staring at him wistfully, her expression conflicted, looking like she had something important she needed to say.
But she didn't say it.
She didn't say a word.
Just stared at him, the same doleful expression in her glistening eyes.
Lucas walked out of the room, letting out a long sigh as he trudged down the halls of her school, hoping that despite this new monkey wrench he'd thrown at their relationship, Maya would still consider what he had told her.
He'd really gone and done it now.
He'd revealed it all, and she knew how he felt. If she so chose to never speak to him again, he wouldn't be surprised at all. Lucas groaned, running a hand through his hair as he made his way out of the building.
What she chose to do next would probably define their relationship in the future. Now she was the one with a decision to make, and he was the one waiting for an answer.
How the tables had turned…