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Polkahotness

I tried to snatch the textbook off the ground as fast as I could, Rhonda catching notice to my quick reaction to our little run-in.

"Funny bumping into you, Helga." She said, her voice sounding as slick and slithery as a snake.

"Sure, Princess. Just hilarious. But...but I gotta be somewhere so-"

"Where are you off to in such a hurry?" She asked, her hands resting on her hips as she eyed me up and down; lingering on Arnold's name looking back at her from the textbook and then finally settling back on my face.

"Can't be anywhere TOO important." She added and I clenched my jaw, my eyes closing as I tried to remain calm.

Rhonda had become significantly meaner since Middle School. After 9th grade finished and we headed to High School, Miss Wellington Lloyd became a regular mean girl. Like a bitch.

At least before high school we all were still friends and the insults were all in good fun... a kind of sibling rivalry.

But puberty had done wonders for Rhonda. She had developed... quite a bit, that even guys older than her fawned at her presence. She was a frequent at college parties, and rarely was found without some hunk of blubber attached to her arm be it men or loyal disciples.

Today, this wasn't the case.

Lucky me.

"I just gotta get home, Lloyd. Can ya move? You're blocking my path, Princess. "

She blatantly ignored the second half of my statement and continued. "From where?"

"Does it matter?" I countered and she flashed a smile that tasted of poison.

"Couldn't be Arnold's place, could it?" She pushed and I laughed the meanest laugh I could muster.

"A-arnold's? HAH. Like I'd be visiting him for fun on my time off from school. Wow, Rhonda. That's-That's funny."

"Then that book you're holding that very clearly says 'Arnold Shortman Period 4' magically flew into your arms, yes?"

Criminy, this girl couldn't take a hint.

I tightened my grip on the book wrapped in brown paper to protect it from obnoxious fees at the end of the year, and pursed my lips, refusing to back down to Rhonda's childish games.

"Good ole footballhead forgot it in class. I was just bringing it back."

"Mmhm. Makes sense seeing as you're going in the wrong direction."

I was faltering. I didn't know where to go. I felt like her words were suffocating me and that once again, I was to be the laughing stock of Hillwood High and of my whole class.

Maybe it isn't so bad. I thought, Maybe she'll just forget or nobody will care. Wh-why does it matter anyway, huh?

Because it just did, doi.

"Oh...oh I am?" I asked, trying to play the dumb card. But by the look on Rhonda's face, she wasn't buying it. "So what if I'm going the wrong way PRINCESS? Maybe I wanted the scenic route. As if I need to explain myself to YOU."

"Sure, Helga. How foolish of me to ask such a question. You hate Arnold."

"Damn right."

"I guess I would too if I knew he would be the downfall of my entire reputation. Seeing as you've painted yourself to be such a badass poorly dressed bully... I guess being with Arnold would make you seem... oh what's the word I'm looking for? Oh, right. Weak."

I stood silent in front of her. Frozen with rage.

"But who am I kidding," She began to chuckle and brought her dainty hand up to cover her mouth as she laughed, "as if someone like Arnold would want anything to do with you."

"This chat has been great, Rhonda. Really, really great. Enlightening, even. But you know, I think I have a lot more important things to do like watch paint dry or do some impromptu algebra or even just going to take a shit would be better than this...so I think I'm gonna go."

"Such vulgarity. I'd watch my mouth if I were you Pataki. Arnold won't be so patient, I'm sure."

But as I stormed off, I blocked out her laugh and made my way around the block, through a few allies and right up to Arnold's fire escape.

Gerald or no Gerald, I was coming in.

I needed SOMEBODY to assure me all those horrible things Rhonda said to me were untrue- even if I knew they weren't.

But more importantly, I had to figure out what we were going to do about Rhonda.

Those lips have done a lot of things, but spreading gossip was what she was most famous for.

And I wasn't about to let the whole school turn Arnold and I into some big rumor-fest, even if that rumor was true.

Sure, you might say we had to tell everyone eventually but... well eventually hadn't come yet and I wasn't ready.

I wasn't ready to let down those walls again.

I wasn't ready to face the comments or the laughter.

I wasn't ready to share our relationship just yet... it was still ours.

I pulled the window open above Arnold's room and hopped in, not caring enough to use the ladder.

"H-Helga?" Arnold stuttered out, his eyes wide, "Wh-wh-what are you d-doing here? RIGHT NOW." He emphasized.

"'Sup, Geraldo." I nodded my head his direction and took a deep breath, my eyes now shooting over to look at Arnold who still looked stunned. "Rhonda. I ran into Rhonda."

"Okay..?"

"And since when was seeing Rhonda a good enough to jump into of ALL people's room, my man ARNOLD's? I think I can speak for both of us when I say: Helga G. Pataki, you should probably-"

"Gerald, Helga and I are kinda together."

"-get...out..." His voice trailed off as he rapidly looked between myself and his best friend who I loved.

Ready for laughter in 3...2...1...

The room erupted in Gerald's clear amusement at Arnold's statement.

"You?" laughs "And HELGA?" more laughing "Helga PATAKI?" crazed laughter "TOGETHER?" hilarity "Like... like... DATING? YEAH RIGHT!" his chortle was uncontrollable and like nothing I had ever seen. The very idea seemed to be completely gut-wrenching. I looked over to Arnold who's cheeks were a bright red, but his hand still snaked down to grab mine and lace his fingers with mine.

My anger faded away with the tight squeeze he gave me before he, very boldly, faced Gerald.

"Gerald. I'm serious."

He wiped some laughter tears from his cheek, his smile fading as he looked at us; his eyes locking on our hands that were definitive proof of what Arnold had just told him.

"Wait... you... you're serious?" He asked and Arnold nodded his head. I felt the need to cower behind him, to hide my face and run out of there as fast as I could. I wanted to beat Gerald to a pulp for laughing so hard at me. At US. I wanted to scream at the reputation I had given myself, cursed myself with, but refused to part with in fear at being helpless and like some damsel in distress needing to be saved.

I was a jumbled mess of hurt, anger and complete humiliation.

Again.

"Look Geraldo, FIRST of all-"

"Helga-"

"You have NO RIGHT to-"

"HELGA." Arnold's voice stopped me in my tracks. "This is why I didn't want you here for this." He whispered to me and I remained stoic beside him. "But you're here now so just... just calm down, okay?" He pleaded and reluctantly I backed down, my gaze casting downwards to the patterns of his carpet.

"So... so how long?" Gerald asked and I held my breath for the answer.

"About 6 months."

His jaw dropped.

"SIX MONTHS?" he near shouted, and his hands reached up to touch the sides of his head, almost hold it in place. "And you didn't TELL me? That's LOW, Arnold. That's REAL LOW."

"Well, can you blame me? Look how you're reacting."

Gerald's hands dropped and he nodded his head a few times in thought. "Yeah. Fine. I guess you're right. But STILL Arnold. 6 Months?"

"Last year. Around February."

Gerald's head was still shaking in disbelief, and for a moment, a split second really, I felt bad for tall hair boy. I mean, here was his best friend basically saying he lied to him for half of a year which is like an eternity between best friends.

Oh shit.

How was Phoebe going to take this?

After all her support and pep talks about 'ice cream' and the late nights of my overreactions all throughout middle school.

How was I supposed to just tell her I'd lied to her too?

"So you're... you're... TOGETHER. Arnold and Helga. My man Arnold and... Helga G. Pataki. Mm mm MM this is all kinds of messed up."

"Not really, Gerald. But we can talk in a minute." He turned to face me and brushed a strand of hair away from my face. "So what did Rhonda say?"

"Just a bunch of shit about me and you and..." I glanced over to Gerald who was watching in awe at our reactions to one another- something he had never witnessed before. "It doesn't really matter. I-I don't know why I came here anyway." My tone was rude, condescending almost. I could feel my walls building up to the sky once more as I tried to retreat into myself once again.

He looked down at the book I was holding- His book.

"She saw my book, huh?" He guessed.

"You better believe she did."

Arnold reached over to take the book from my hands; his eyes studying the front and back of the book while flipping it over in his hands as if some kind of clue would be found on the brown paper.

"So you tell her you borrowed it, jeez." Gerald commented and I shot him a look.

"As if I would borrow from Arnold." I glanced to Arnold who's eyes glanced up and over to me to which I shrugged and added, "no offense."

He smiled. "I get it."

"So if she runs around saying anything, just-"

"She won't say anything." Gerald quickly chimed in, his voice now more serious than it had been just moments ago.

"And how do you know that? You hiding an all-seeing-eye in that tall hair of yours or what?"

"No, just trust me. If you don't want it to be known- it won't be. I got your back, Arnold." His eyes glanced to me for a moment and he raised an eyebrow at me. "And I guess yours too now, Pataki."

I rolled my eyes at his comment while he held out his thumb for Arnold allowing the pair to do that weird handshake thing they always do and Arnold grinned.

"Thanks, Gerald."

"And do we get to KNOW how it is you will be keeping Rhonda Wellington Lloyd's obnoxious mouth shut?"

"Let's just say... I may or may not have some knowledge about Rhonda, a closet and a certain Harold Berman."

"NO. WAY." I couldn't help reacting and Gerald grinned; nodding his head a few times knowingly.

"Hey- you aren't the only two around here with secrets." He smirked and moved to sit down on the couch in Arnold's room, crossing his right leg to sit on his left knee.

"And how did YOU of all people acquire such a knowledge of our classmates, hmm?" I pushed and he swung his arms up and around to rest behind his head; his legs stretching out to cross in front of him.

"I kinda caught them."

Arnold laughed out loud, "Gerald, seriously? In the closet of where?"

"Ah-ah-ah" he wagged a finger at Arnold and shook his head slightly. "Great secrets come with great responsibilities, kay? I can't just TELL you where they get their freak on."

I crossed my arms over my chest and cocked my hip slightly to adjust my weight on my left.

Must be a pretty juicy story, but I figured Arnold would tell me about it later because there was no way Gerald was going to just keep that kind of a story locked up under his unusually tall head of hair.

"Well I'll catch ya dorks later. I gotta get home to mother dearest."

"Still been bad?" Arnold asked, and my eyes noticed out of their peripheral vision that Gerald's attention had increased mildly to my words.

"Eh." I shrugged, "It's really a wonder I don't have my own reality show by now. But considering we don't have a lot of good experience with keeping our OWN family members around, I doubt my wackjob-of-a-family could keep any viewers sticking around either."

I walked over to Arnold and patted his shoulder a couple of times. "I'll see ya later, footballhead." I remarked, but his hand had grabbed mine before it could make it's way back to my side and pulled me into him so he could plant a kiss gently on my lips.

Gerald cringed.

What now, Geraldo.

"I'll call."

"You better."

"You guys have SERIOUSLY gotta let a brotha' know when you're gonna start doing that."

"Gerald..."

"What? I haven't had 6 months to get used to it yet."

"Well GET used to it, bucko." I grinned and made my way up the ladder, out his window, and down the fire escape to hop onto the sidewalk just outside the Sunset Arms Boarding House.

Funny, all the memories a building could have.

Memories some knew, and others didn't.

Like a whole box made of bricks to hold in those secrets.

Secrets. How am I supposed to tell Phoebe this? What was I supposed to do, just WALTZ in her house, go up to her room and be all, "Hey Pheebs, breaking news! Helga G. Pataki is finally dating Football-head!"

And then it hit me.

Doi!

Standing outside the door to her familiar house, I took a deep breath and walked inside.

Looks like it's my turn now.