"For the tenth time, I really don't think this is a good idea."

"You don't have to come with me, Sylvia. If anything, I'd rather you didn't. I don't want you to get involved with this."

Lily had decided at the end of the prefects meeting that having a little talk with the absent Slytherins was exactly what she needed to do. She told herself that doing this would make up for letting her nerves get to her at the beginning of the prefects meeting. It had nothing to do with being upset about the Slytherin's actions. Of course not, she was calm. Perfectly calm. She would have a calm discussion with the prefects about what they did and then everything would be great. Great. She gritted her teeth and pressed on faster. They weren't far from the Great Hall now.

Sylvia let out another noise of frustration and turned to Remus and James. "A little help here?"

James offered his help first. "Evans, I've got your back. Hex the daylights out of those -"

"Not the kind of help I was referring to, James."

"Right," Remus jumped in, clearing his throat. "Lily. Hey - Lily," he finished, quickening his step to catch up with her.

"Hi, Remus," she replied distractedly.

Her friend flashed an overly bright smile. "How are you doing? Okay?"

"I'm great, Remus. Thanks for asking," she responded calmly without glancing in his direction or stopping her march through the hallways. "How are you?"

"Oh, well, I'm fine, I just thought maybe we could slow down and talk about this. How about that?"

To give her credit, Lily genuinely did seem to ponder this, but she eventually shook her head. "I appreciate the offer, but I really don't have time to stop. It's getting late and I might miss them."

"Of course," Remus nodded, but hesitated before continuing. They were heading down the last flight of stairs by the Great Hall. Lily was walking even faster now, if that was possible. Remus was having trouble keeping up and he certainly had longer legs than his friend. "But what exactly do you plan to accomplish by doing this?"

"I plan to encourage the prefects to attend meetings."

"Yes, but -"

"Oh, let her alone, you two," James interrupted. "She's my Head partner, and I'm with her on this."

Sylvia rolled her eyes. "What a surprise."

"Well, what do you expect her to do? Just let those gits walk all over her?"

"Speak with McGonagall," Remus suggested. "You two aren't alone, I'm sure the professors would be willing to help. Just let them handle this."

He received no response as they entered the Great Hall and Lily made a beeline for a large group of Slytherins. They were, of course, lounging at their respective house table. Most students had cleared out of the Great Hall after dinner, but small groups throughout the room looked up in surprise as the Head Girl and her companions flew past them. Lily was gripping her bag's strap tightly as her eyes stared intently at the group. Sylvia crossed her arms uncomfortably, but sidled a little closer to her friend in support. James had a small grin on his face, his wand already out and at his side. Remus also had his wand out, grasping it tightly. He was less worried about what Lily would do over what James would do. The Slytherins were laughing at something very amusing, but quieted as it became apparent Lily was walking in their direction. A particularly burly member of the group with brown curly hair smirked at their approach and turned to lean casually against the table.

"Donovan," Lily greeted the boy curtly as they halted, nodding to the group.

She received cool stares while Donovan sneered. "Why, the great Lily Evans is gracing us with her presence!" He glanced disdainfully at her companions. "And you brought reinforcements."

"Nice to see you and your big nose, too, Donovan," James greeted cheerfully.

Shifting the bag strap on her shoulder, Lily ignored them and cut to the chase. "I'm here to discuss tonight's prefects meeting. Why were none of you there?"

"Oh," a look of fake surprise crossing Donovan's face, "was that tonight?" His mates laughed quietly.

Lily took a step forward, watching them coolly. "You know perfectly well it was tonight."

Donovan shrugged. "If you're so confident we knew it was tonight, why bother stopping by to confirm it?"

"Because skiving on prefects duties is not something to be taken lightly. Being a prefect is a privilege, not a right. If you can't bother to attend the meetings, then there is no reason for you to be a prefect."

"Look at this, will you?" Donovan laughed, gesturing at Lily to his mates. "Crazy old Dumbledore's decision to make her Head Girl has made her arrogant. She thinks she can threaten us." He leaned in, as if sharing a secret with her. "The very fact that you're here tells me you already know why we didn't attend the meeting tonight. And, I have news you for - no respectable Slytherin will attend any meetings led by a low-life mudblood like you."

Despite the size of the Great Hall and the low tone Donovan had spoken in, he might as well have shouted the word. If other students nearby hadn't taken notice of the rising spectacle, they now had. A hush fell across the room. Remus and Sylvia took a step forward, both now holding their wands in front of them. However, before Lily could even respond, James was in front of her, his eyes furious and his wand aimed directly at Donovan. "You'll shut your filthy mouth right now if you know what's good for you."

These words seemed to make Donovan hesitate. It was one thing to verbally spar with Lily Evans, as she was not typically known for hexing others, except in defense. James Potter, however, would not hesitate and they all knew it. Trying to save face, Donovan kept his voice light, but backed away slightly. "Having Potter do your dirty work for you, I see. Some things never change."

Wondering vaguely when exactly this day had gone down the toilet, Lily scoffed and shoved James in the shoulder. "Stay out of this!"

He hardly budged, holding his hands up in defense. "What? I'm just trying to help!"

"I don't need your help! I'm perfectly capable! Now - back - up!" she pushed him at each word. Finally, fed up with the entire situation, she grabbed James' wand and hurled it across the Great Hall. It landed on the head of a startled third year Hufflepuff.

"Uh-oh." Remus and Sylvia anxiously looked between their two friends. Not only was a potential brawl with Slytherins on the horizon, but a typical Lily and James argument was also erupting. Well, that escalated quickly.

James let out a string of curses, glaring between Lily, the current location of his wand, and the Slytherins. Lily rolled her eyes and looked away. Finally, James held up his hands in defeat and backed up. "You know what, fine. Don't want my help? Good. See what I care, Evans." With that, he stormed off, angrily snatching his wand from the third year who was gingerly holding it on the way out of the Great Hall.

While the Slytherins burst out of laughing at his departure, Remus inwardly debated with himself - should he follow James, or stay with Lily and Sylvia? James was, of course, a fellow Marauder, but no matter how skilled they might be, Lily and Sylvia were outnumbered. His decision was made for him as Lily abruptly pulled out her wand and pointed it at Donovan's nose.

"Engorgio!"

Donovan immediately leaned over and held his nose in his hands. He let out a yelp of surprise and panic. "MY NOSE! LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY NOSE!"

If Lily was having a better day and actually enjoyed hexing people, she probably would have smirked a bit at her work. Donovan's nose was quickly inflating, almost to the size of a quaffle. He was jostling around in a panic, pushing his mates out of the way as some of them attempted to grab his arm to help him. Unfortunately, Lily was having a terrible day, so she simply crossed her arms and watched him passively. "Just to reiterate, if any of you want to keep your prefect badges, you will be at the next meeting."

She then stepped closer to Donovan, who was beginning to have difficulty balancing himself with his watermelon-sized nose. Bending down, Lily patted him on the back. "If you're going to insult me, at least have the guts to do it to my face like you just did. Don't skip a meeting and have other students relay the message. Never waste my time, the head boy's time, or your fellow prefects' time with a stunt like that again. Do we have an understanding?"

Donovan scowled at her, but gave a short, silent nod. Lily returned the nod and straightened up to face the rest of the Slytherins. "Have a good evening." With that, she turned and left, exiting the Great Hall just as quickly as she entered.

"I should probably go find James," said Remus as they reached the top of the staircase outside of the Great Hall. He gave Lily a questioning look. "You going to be okay?"

"Yes, I'll be fine," she said with a nod. "See you."

Sylvia waved. "See you, Remus." He returned the wave and headed left. The girls stood silently, watching his retreating figure for a moment before Lily abruptly turned to start walking in the other direction. Sylvia grabbed her elbow before she could get far, however.

"What was that?" she asked incredulously.

"What was what?"

Sylvia held up her hands in mock wonder. "Oh, I don't know - perhaps trying to take on a bunch of Slytherins by yourself? Hexing Donovan?"

"It was nothing," Lily started quietly, crossing her arms. "They didn't attend the prefects meeting. I was just making sure they understood the consequences of not attending future meetings."

"Yeah, I get that, but in all the years we've known each other, I have never seen you purposefully hex someone, Lily. That was not you."

Lily didn't respond to this, only cast her eyes to the floor and crossed her arms even tighter. Sylvia's forehead scrunched together in concern at her friend's silence. She shuffled to stand in front Lily.

"Okay, now I'm worried. Since when do we not talk to each other? Best friend here, remember?" A few seconds passed before Sylvia started again, "Please tell me what's -"

"I choked, okay!" Lily burst, jerkily shrugging her shoulders. Her friend was right - they always talk to each other. Sure they had their spats and bickering over the years, but Sylvia was the first friend Lily made at Hogwarts and that connection had only increased since then. She couldn't hold back on this. "I choked. I did a terrible job leading the prefects' meeting on the train. Tonight's meeting wasn't much better. And through it all, they're" - she nodded back in the direction of Great Hall - "in there, jeering, insulting, waiting for me to make a mistake. To show how I don't belong here. It just made me so … so angry."

Sylvia's response was instant. "Of course you belong here, Lily." She raised her hand to Lily's shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "Anyone can see that. You're just nervous about your new responsibilities as Head Girl. I'm sure you'll be fine. You haven't let those imbeciles bother you in a long time, don't give them the satisfaction now."

Lily paused, then shook her head uncertainly. "I know, I know. I just … it's more than I thought it would be. In my head, I imagined the satisfaction I'd feel at being named Head Girl, how happy I'd be knowing I, after all of the work I've put into this, I was chosen. I stupidly thought no one would question whether I belonged here if I was chosen as Head Girl. But it's just overwhelming so far. I mean, apparently I am a dunce at running meetings. James Potter is my head partner - how will that ever work out? And it's only the first day, but we already have people boycotting the prefects' meetings because of me."

"Mittens."

Lily blinked at her friend, wondering if someone had set off a time-turner to a different conversation. "Excuse me?"

"Mittens!" Sylvia repeated excitedly. "Remember in second year when we were learning how to transfigure a scarf into mittens for McGonagall's class?"

"Well, yes…?"

"I just couldn't do it though, remember? I tried for weeks on those bloody things. But you were always there, willing to help me. Everyday, even that time my sad thumbless mitten burst into flames, you told me to keep at it. And low and behold, six ruddy months later I transfigured one of those ruddy mittens perfectly," she finished, looking at Lily with a significance her friend did not register.

Lily watched her uncertainly, trying to read her face. "So… I should, er, transfigure a bunch of mittens to comfort me in my misery tonight?"

Sylvia scoffed. "No, silly, I'm trying to tell you to take your own advise. Don't give up on this Head Girl thing. You'll figure out the kinks and things will get better."

Lily nodded thoughtfully, looking away. "I guess you're right."

"I am right. I know you, Lily. You can handle this. Just promise me you won't try to take on a bunch of Slytherins alone again?"

"I won't," Lily replied quietly.

"Good. I just… I know what they'd do to you if they had the chance, Lily. I heard some things over the summer. Engorgio is nothing to their actions." A silence fell over them for a moment. Lily ran a hand through her hair and let out a breath. They both began walking.

"Sylvia…"

"Yes?"

"Thanks."

Sylvia smiled and hooked an arm with Lily. "What are friends for?"

"Well, they are great for knocking sense into you and helping you make mittens, that much is certain. I was so proud of you the day you made that mitten. Though, I hate to admit it, it was kind of the ugliest mitten I'd ever seen."

"That it was, Lily, that it was," Sylvia said matter-of-factly. They shared a look and chuckled on their way through the hallways.

"Oh, I'm so sorry -"

"Lily..."

Lily glanced up as she grabbed her books off the floor after bumping into someone on the way out of the library. Severus Snape. Her heart skipped a heavy beat. She had finished the 1st year orientation tour and was just heading back to the Heads tower with some books she checked out. She was so close to being done with this awful day!

Collecting herself, Lily spoke up. "Severus. How are you?"

"I'm well. And yourself?" he asked, rather tense.

"Good."

"I'm glad."

"Mm."

They had not spoken in so long. Not after he'd called her that horrible name. Not after that night outside Gryffindor tower. Not after she'd given up her friendship with him.

Of course she saw him frequently - it was hard not to with so many classes and meals together. But Lily managed to never find herself alone with him. And Severus, after a few months of failed attempts to apologize again and again, never initiated interactions either.

He'd been her best friend. They'd known each other for so long. But then he began to hang around with a certain crowd more and more. They changed him. Or, perhaps he had always been this way and she simply never realized it until she was forced to do so. Lily told herself she could never forgive him for what he did now, for what he was. Yet, deep in her heart, a quiet voice whispered that she already had.

Severus would never know of her forgiveness though. He would never know that sometimes she'd still think to herself, I've got to tell Sev about this! only to realize she couldn't talk to him. They weren't friends anymore. They didn't talk. They didn't even acknowledge each other.

"How are you enjoying your Head Girl position? I suppose it is a challenge to work with Potter." The hatred oozed out of his voice at the mention of James.

"James is a perfectly wonderful partner, actually," Lily replied coolly, her temper flaring at Snape's words. Even though James had made her angry only a couple hours ago, she couldn't help but defend him. Snape didn't have any right to criticize James, not when he was who he was.

A scowl appeared on Severus' face, but he remained silent.

Lily nodded curtly at this response and turned, but was stopped by Snape's words.

"Watch yourself." His voice was soft.

"Is that a threat?"

"No, it's just a word of caution. You might not think it anymore, but I…" Severus trailed off hesitantly, meeting her gaze. "I don't want to see you hurt, Lily."

She was confused at his words as her green eyes met his. They did not appear to be malicious; no, Severus appeared to quite genuine with his words. Lily swallowed and did not allow herself to dwell on her former friend's intentions any longer.

"I can handle myself just fine. Thank you though."

His eyes darkened. "There are things that lurk in the shadows, the shadows of this castle -"

"Are you one of them, Severus?" Lily burst, unable to hold back any longer. "Or is it one of your so-called friends? Are they waiting to ambush another mudblood?"

Her words stung him, she could tell. She had told herself before to not let her temper flare around Severus. That he wasn't worth it. Not after the countless times she'd defended him and made excuses for him to her friends, stuck with him - only to be called that filthy word. Yet, she couldn't stop feeling so angry, so betrayed. Despite her anger, Lily could feel her eyes welling slightly, her nose prickling painfully. Severus couldn't see her like this - know the sadness she still felt at their severed ties.

Without waiting for a reply, Lily turned again, cursing herself for conversing even this long with him.

"I wish - " Severus suddenly spoke, slight desperation entering his voice. Lily halted once more, her back to him. "I wish we were still friends."

Lily's retreating figure was her only reply.

She breathed a sigh of relief as the entrance to the Heads Tower came into view. Her first day was almost over. She made it. Now she could head up to her room, do some Charms reading, and go to sleep. The sooner she went to sleep, the sooner tomorrow would start. Tomorrow would be better, surely.

As Lily trudged through the common room, she noticed the quiet, crackling fire was the only thing to greet her. James was nowhere to be seen. Even better. She wouldn't have to deal with what last happened between them quite yet. Yes, this was good. This was -

"Damn," she muttered in front of her bedroom door. The patrolling schedule was pinned to the door. Lily grabbed the document and shuffled through it. There was no note attached, but it looked complete and ready to be handed into McGonagall tomorrow. Biting her lip, Lily glanced at James' door across the hall. He had actually kept his word and finished the schedule for them. With all the other events that had occurred during and after the prefects' meeting, Lily had honestly forgotten about the schedule. She really was going to be the worst Head Girl in Hogwarts history!

Now she had to decide. Knock on James' door, thank him and potentially bicker about their earlier argument, or not say thanks and ignore the whole situation for the night. It could wait until tomorrow. The latter option sounded much more appealing. Her hand was already on her bedroom door when she abrupt backed away and turned to face James' door. She stared at it for a moment, reading the gold plate engraved with his name. The latter option did sound more appealing, but he did do the whole schedule by himself and it looked pretty good, she had to admit.

Alright, fine.

Giving a sigh, Lily raised a hand and knocked on the door. The seconds ticked by without a sound. She was just beginning to wonder if James wasn't even in his room when the door flew open. A bleary-eyed James peered at down at her.

"Oh Merlin, were you asleep?" Lily asked quickly, sizing him up. "I didn't think - I mean, I just wanted to tell you -"

James shifted slightly and rubbed his eyes. "What do you want, Evans?" Annoyance tinged his voice.

"Just …" Lily trailed off, trying to form the words she rarely said to this boy. She raised the patrolling schedule up and awkwardly shrugged. "Thank you." The words felt strange coming out of her mouth.

Surprise was evident in James' face as his eyebrows rose. It was then that Lily finally noticed he wasn't wearing his glasses. He looked different without them. She backed away slightly and rolled up the patrolling schedule between her hands, feeling even more awkward for some reason.

"Oh," was all James said at first. Then, "Uh, no problem. I figured you'd want to look over it before we hand it in tomorrow."

"Right! Thanks. I'll definitely look over it. Anyway," Lily paused, taking a breath. "I know this must have taken you a while to do by yourself, so just thought I'd say thanks. So thanks." At this point, she didn't think she ever needed to say thank you to James Potter again as she'd just blurted it out four times in the past minute.

"S'no big deal," said James, messing up his hair. "But thanks. For the thank yous, I mean."

A noticeable silence fell over them again as both became very interested in peering at the floor and ceiling. Lily seemed to be wrestling with her thoughts, trying to decide on something. She was just on the verge of opening her mouth again when James' hand finally moved to his door. He apparently was ready to bring an end to the conversation. "Okay, well, g'night."

Lily nodded and watched the door close in front of her.

Knock.

Knock, knock.

His bedroom door swung open again. James moved forward to lean against the doorframe this time, watching Lily in mild exasperation. "You knocked?"

"I just wanted to say sorry for, you know… throwing your wand earlier." Lily met James' gaze for a second before she looked away and continued with a huff. "Of course I still didn't need your help. And I think you were being nosy as usual, butting in like that. But, er. I admit I overreacted a bit."

"A bit?" James demanded, though a smirk was tugging at his lips.

"Yes, a bit!" said Lily through gritted teeth. "So, sorry. That's all I wanted to say."

"You're really hating apologizing to me, aren't you?"

"There are other things I'd rather be doing, I'll say that." Lily put a hand to her chin ponderously, then smiled brightly. "Like swim in the lake with the giant squid!"

"Who wouldn't?" James laughed, then continued. "So you really hexed Donovan's nose? And my comment inspired the nose thing, huh?"

"I did, but I wouldn't say -"

James held up a hand, looking amused. "Say no more - Donovan's temporarily enormous nose is an apology enough for me."

Feeling her thank yous and apologizes were sufficiently accomplished and all was normal (or as normal as could be) between them, Lily took leave to her bedroom with a tsk and dismissive wave in James' direction.

"I look forward to your next apology, Evans!" James called as her door shut. His door also closed, muffling his laughter. The hallway between the two Head students grew quiet. James was soon asleep again, though he went to sleep with a small grin this time, rather than a frown. Lily stayed up a while longer to read and check over the patrolling schedule. When she finally laid down and let unconsciousness slowly overtake her, a slight breeze rolled over her and she shivered. Her eyes fluttered open once, twice, a third time. She could see the stars twinkling dimly outside her window. Pulling the blankets closer, she let out a sigh and fell asleep.

They were all in a row, a very long row.

Lily leaned outward, wondering why they were in a row. As far as her eyes could see, the people in the row were silent, looking straight ahead. They were all blurry, their faces distorted. She could hear a muffled shout every few seconds. For some reason, she felt compelled to lift her hand and noticed something sketched in blood on the back of it. It was the letter "M".

The shout got louder as the minutes passed by. Finally, she saw a figure in a dark cloak coming closer. The figure would stop in front of a person in the row, raise a wand, shout, and move onto the next.

"Avada kedavra!"

A chill iced through her body as she realized that was what the figure was shouting over and over again. And they were getting closer and closer to her! Lily realized what this row was. It was death row. Why weren't any of these people moving? Why wasn't she moving? She was about to die and her legs would not budge!

"Avada kedavra!"

The most horrifying scream came after the killing curse. It left her head pounding. Her mouth would not open either. She could not scream, could not shout for everyone to leave. Lily wondered if the rest of the people in the massive row were stuck in their spot like she was.

"Avada kedavra!"

No! The figure was right there. She could not see his face. It was also blurred and covered by a cloak. Her heart was racing, feeling like it could burst. She was going to die. This was it. The "M" on her hand began to burn and scorch until she felt like crying. Yet, she couldn't cry either. She felt so paralyzed. Why did the screams have to be so terrible?

"Avada kedavra!"

The figure was in front of the person next to her. A wand was raised.

"Avada kedavra!"

Lily wanted nothing more than to bend over and curl into a ball, covering her ears in the process. Anything to save her from hearing that awful scream! A warm liquid trickled down the side of her head. Her ears were bleeding.

The figure was in front of her now. For the first time, she could see a distinguishing part of the figure. It's eyes. Was it even human? Those eyes... they were pure red. They made her feel so sick, so disgusted.

"Hello, mudblood."

Its wand raised.

"Avada kedavra!"

"No! No! No!"

"Lily. Lily, wake up."

"No! No!" She sobbed, fighting off the hands that gripped her wrists. "Please!"

"Shh... Lily. It's only me, James. Please don't cry. It's only me," the voice repeated in whispers, still holding her wrists.

Lily finally opened her eyes, tears streaming down her face. Her heart was racing. Her struggles ceased as she saw him sitting at the edge of the bed, watching her with concern. He backed away to give her space.

"It killed me..." She moaned. "It killed them all."

"You're all right. It was just a bad dream, okay?"

Her hands were shaking terribly. She lifted them up, expecting to find an "M" sketched in blood. There was nothing. She reached for her ears to search for blood. There was nothing. Letting out a shaky breath, Lily sat up and put her hands in her lap. She looked down and sniffed. A silence fell over the pair.

James hesitantly, clumsily, reached out to stroke her shoulder, unsure if she would flinch away from him. She didn't. His hand was cool and soothing, allowing Lily to take a deep breath. She was so flushed and warm, sweating.

"You're all right," he repeated quietly. "No one can hurt you."

Finally, after several minutes of James' calming touch, Lily abruptly pulled away from him and turned onto her side, her back to him. She didn't want anyone to see her so vulnerable, especially not James Potter. Especially not after everything that happened yesterday. What must he think of her, causing such a fuss over nothing but a nightmare? She was seventeen, not seven.

But… she ached for the comfort. Her bloody pride. The trembles that had dimmed slightly at his touch began again and her hand rubbing continued. She peered into the darkness of her room. What if she was still dreaming, and the figure would appear again? What if that thing, that figure was lurking somewhere in the shadows, like Severus had told her?

Just as she began to realize the mistake she'd made turning away from James, the bed creaked slightly as another form laid down by Lily's side.

She whipped her head around to see James settling in on top of the covers, leaning his back against the headboard and bringing his knees up to rest his arms. Her trembles stilled as he warily met her gaze. Her face was hidden in the darkness, while moonlight streaked across James' face, glinting off his glasses. There was a long silence as they both assessed the situation. James waited to be yelled at or shoved off the bed. The girl next to him contemplated this. But, in the end, that wasn't what happened.

Instead, she reached between them and took his hand, an unspoken thank you passing between the two.