This Is How A Heart Breaks
Chapter 11 - The Pain of Loving You

So sorry for not updating in ages! I kinda lost the threat with this story but I think it's back on track now! Please review - they make me happy! Xx

Suzie was deeply absorbed in her paperwork when she became aware of Zain's musky scent coming from nearby. She hit the save button on the computer and turned to face him. In the close proximity between them she could see how tired and run down he looked. The situation with Sam was clearly effecting him more than he let on.

"Are you off to the hospital to see Sam?" Suzie prompted when Zain failed to say anything.

Zain nodded. "Yeah." His voice was husky from emotion and exhaustion."

"Give her our love, won't you." Suzie said, reaching out for Zain's hand which was resting on the edge of her desk, she squeezed it. "I'll come with you if you'd rather." She offered.

Zain gave her a small smile. "Thanks Suze, but I really need to do this by myself. See you later."

"See ya." Suzie replied, turning back to her computer.

Phil stopped as the traffic lights turned to red and drummed his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel as the stream of vehicles came to a standstill yet again. Just as the lights turned to green again his mobile phone began to ring, he glanced across as the display. He turned his hands free set on; it was Natasha.

"Heya Phil." She said before he even had a chance to answer.

"Oh, hi Natasha." Phil replied, not bothering to hide his disinterest and boredom.

"Are you okay, babe?" She asked, whatever the emotion in her voice was, it wasn't genuine to Phil's ears.

"Yeah." He lied, it was easier than telling her the truth. He didn't trust Tasha enough yet to confide in her. He couldn't talk to her like he could talk to Sam. His heart lurched as he thought of her, he pressed his foot down harder on the accelerator pedal.

"Gotta go." Phil said abruptly, cutting Tasha off mid-sentence. He didn't have time to feel guilty, all of his attention was focusing on getting to St. Hughes and getting to Sam.

Natasha Rivers was left fuming. How dare Phil Hunter think he could treat her like that? Although she was currently fighting for her life in a hospital bed Tasha still saw Samantha Nixon as a threat. It was glaringly obvious to Tasha that Phil liked Sam a lot, maybe even loved her but from what she had seen so far it didn't appear that the blonde detective shared these feelings. Tasha hoped that this would be her way in with Phil.

Phil was already pacing the corridors of St Hughes hospital when Zain Nadir arrived. They exchanged nervous smiles, it was an impossible situation for them both and neither of them knew what to say to the other. A doctor, the one who had told them they had to wait two hours, came to find them.

"Hello detectives." He said a little cagily. "Samantha is well enough for visitors now but I'd like you to go in one at a time, please don't excite her too much. She is still in a very fragile state."

Zain and Phil exchanged helpless glances neither of them sure who should visit Sam first. All the way here Phil had been planning what he wanted to say to Sam but now his mind had gone blank. Instead, he turned to Zain.

"You go in first mate." He offered, Zain looked stunned.

"Are you sure?" He replied and Phil nodded. Zain seemed to hesistate then headed through the double doors and entered Sam's ward.

Phil paced the corridor some more, it seemed like an age. He was still wondering why he had let Zain go in first, no doubt he would tell Sam that he loved her and anything he said afterwards would be meaning them. In frustration Phil kicked out at the wall. He couldn't bear to see Sam with another man even if it was someone he liked and trusted like Zain but he was sure that Sam must already know about him and Natasha. Suddenly Phil couldn't take it anymore and he turned on his heel and left the hospital. He felt like a coward for bottling it at the last minute but he didn't know what he could say to Sam. Instead, he headed out of the hospital and back into the traffic.

"Hey," Sam smiled, she looked pale and there were dark circles under her eyes but she still seemed pleased to see Zain. The feeling was mutual.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" He asked, sitting down and slinging his jacket over the back of the plastic orange chair.

"Better thanks." Sam smiled. "And thank you for the flowers."

"No problem, I'm just glad you're okay."

"Me too." Sam smiled again, taking his hand. "Thank you for being here, you've been really great."

"It's what friends are for, Sam." Zain replied.

Sam raised her eyebrows at him but said no more. Silence began to stretch out between them.

"Thank you for the book as well, I've just finished it. Do you want it back?"

"Okay." Zain replied. "I only got it in the gift shop, I didn't know if it would be any good..." He tailed off.

"I liked it." Sam smiled knowingly.

"Good." Zain said. "Is there anything else I can get you?"

Sam shook her head. "I'm good thanks. I just want to go home!"

"When are they discharging you?"

"Not for another couple of days."

"Oh." Zain stood up and put his jacket back on. "I think Phil's waiting outside to see you."

"Oh, okay." Sam looked flustered.

Zain kissed Sam's cheek and told her he would come and see her tomorrow before going out into the corridor to look for Phil but he had gone. Zain was puzzled but it also made him hopeful about his and Sam's potential future.