Before the chapter begins, I need to give many thanks to GeneralKJ, who suggested to me that Daryl and Lily talk about the way Daryl and Merle grew up.
The house was almost completely silent, save for the mechanical hum of the refrigerator and the radio Carol had left crackling softly, if only so she didn't fall asleep. It was not yet but seven thirty and Carol was ready for an early night, already in pyjamas, she was just waiting up to see Daryl before he collected Lily. The girls had gone to play in Sophia's room after an early supper, but judging from the lack of playtime noises, Carol estimated they'd fallen asleep almost fifteen minutes ago.
Carol gracelessly slouched down onto the sofa and pulled her knees up under herself, bones creaking with the motion. Her day had been one filled with housework, but she had an empty clothes hamper and a collection of freshly ironed clothes to show . In between chores she'd checked up on the girls, and had a phone conversation with Amy detailing a schedule for the play. Just thinking about what she had done, and had yet to do, made her eyes grow heavier and heavier.
Squeak.
The singing of the rickety porch steps outside alerted her to the arrival of her friend and she sat bolt upright before padding across the room to swing the door open, revealing a tired looking Daryl. He raked his hand over his face and through his hair.
"Shit, 'm late uh-"
"It's fine, the girls fell asleep though," Carol stepped out of the way of the door and ushered Daryl inside. He stepped inside just enough so that Carol could shut the door and they hovered about in the living room a moment, watching as Carol crossed the room to head into the kitchen.
"Did you eat at work?" She asked.
"Yeah," it wasn't a lie. Daryl had eaten, but that had been several hours ago and it hadn't been anything particularly substantial. Still, he didn't want to bother Carol and planned to snack on something once he and Lily got home. The thought of snacking made his stomach growl loudly and Carol fixed him with a look that left no room for argument.
"Hand me the peanut butter, okay?" She asked when he began to protest once more. Daryl handed her the jar and she set about making a snack. Daryl was instructed to hand her things when she asked for them, but he got the idea it was a task she assigned him mostly so he wouldn't feel like a bum for eating her out of house and home. "Amy called today."
"Which one's Amy?" Daryl mumbled, scanning his mind for the familiar name.
"She's organizing the play. The girls have to be there around five tomorrow, can you get Lily there okay? - Oh, grape jelly-" Carol took the jar as Daryl slid it across to her.
"Yeah, only workin' until noon tomorrow. I can get 'er there." He hummed, sticking his finger in a glob of jelly that hadn't quite made it to the bread before popping his finger in his mouth.
"I'll watch Lily." Carol offered, Daryl nodded in thanks and leaned against the counter. "If you're not busy, you could come over, if you wanted… It's just so quiet when there aren't any kids around." Carol chuckled, she could feel heat beginning to creep Into her cheeks and she busied herself putting perfect triangles of PB&J onto plates.
"Ain't busy." Daryl agreed with a half shrug, and with that Carol spun on her heel and handed him his plate.
"It's not much, but you need to eat something." She said when he was reluctant to accept. He perched on one of the counter stools to eat and had cleared his plate in just a few bites. Carol didn't seem to mind his lack of manners, though. "I'll go get Lily so you two can get home, she's exhausted." Carol smiled. Daryl wanted to say thank you, but he felt like it might have come out a little goofy so he just nodded and fiddled with the loose skin around his thumbnail, watching Carol bounce off down the hallway to fetch his niece.
"Busy my ass!" Merle's booming voice over the phone was enough to drag Daryl out of his thoughts and back into whatever conversation Merle was trying to pursue. "What's got you so busy anyway, huh?" He prodded. Daryl was in no mood for his brother's antics however and as he leaned against the kitchen counter he heard Lily coming out from the other end of the house.
"Been busy with Lily, tha's all." Daryl shrugged and began pacing around in a small circle. He felt a tug on the hem of his shirt and he looked down to see Lily had come over, she pointed wildly at the phone.
"Is it Dad? Can I talk, please Daryl! Just for a minute!" She whispered, putting her hands in prayer position and shaking them vehemently, as if it would help her case any. Daryl pointed her to the living room so he could bargain with Merle and she obediently scurried away, leaving Daryl alone with the phone in the kitchen. On his end of the phone, Merle was rambling away with some anecdote and hadn't seemed to notice his younger sibling's silence
"Merle, Lily's here." Daryl chewed at the skin on his thumb. Merle was silent, a rare event. "Wants t' talk to ya."
"Ain't got a lot of time, man. Costs money, ya know." Merle explained, Daryl sucked his teeth.
"Then talk quick." He replied, frustration creeping into his voice.
"Shit, I explained this to ya 'fore, how many times do I go-"
"Why you callin', Merle?" Daryl asked more softly.
"Jesus… Just bring her for a visit or somethin', I gotta go." Merle's final words were chased by the beeping of the phone as he hung up and Daryl cursed under his breath. Sometimes Merle could be a real pain in the ass, Daryl shook his head as he sluggishly walked to the living room.
"Uh, he had to go," Daryl muttered. The bright smile on Lily's face slipped away and she slumped down on the sofa, averting her gaze and choosing to fiddle with a loose thread on her clothing. "Wants ya to visit again though." He added.
"When will that be?" She asked with a small smile, perking up in her seat a little.
"Soon." Daryl promised. Lily slipped out of her seat to go to her room, dragging her feet.
"I'm goin' to bed, don't lemme sleep in tomorrow." She called over her shoulder.
The door let out a long, low whine as it was cautiously prodded open, casting a thin beam of light from the hallway across the darkened bedroom. Instantly, Daryl felt himself wake with a start, his eyes snapped open and were immediately drawn to the shadowy figure in the doorway. He slowly released a long breath; he still wasn't used to being woken up at all hours by a kid.
"Daryl? Are you awake?" Lily whispered, opening the doorway to the hall a few more inches. Daryl scrubbed at his eyes before replying.
"Am now." He mumbled in reply, his voice thick and sluggish with sleep.
"Sorry…" Daryl watched Lily shuffle from foot to foot, in the dim light he could see she was twisting her pyjama shirt through her fingers, and her wiry curls were sticking out at all angles. She crept forward a few timid steps. "Daryl, can I stay in here tonight? I don't like it in my room." She explained as she began to walk toward him.
"What you creepin' around for?" He asked gruffly, hastily yanking the sheet up as high as it would go and hiding beneath it.
"I told you. I wanna stay here." She repeated. Daryl felt the mattress sink and heard the bedsprings sing out under new weight as Lily sat down on the end of the bed. The thin beam of light from the hallway reflected of her tearful, green eyes and she pouted at him, the tracks of her tears were still shimmering on her cheeks. "I'm scared. I, uh, I had a bad dream… I'm scared" She muttered weakly.
"Lil, just wait outside and I'll tuck ya back in." He offered. In the dark he could hear her sniffling, and occasionally letting out a small hiccup.
Jesus did he feel selfish, but he had been too tired to change into pajamas, and had chosen instead to sleep in the work-worn jeans he had on, and just shrug off his top half, which left him shirtless beneath the thin sheet, and he thought the marks on his back would scare the kid more than any bad dream if she chanced a peek at them.
"I don't want to be by myself in there." She said in a tight voice, that made something in Daryl's chest pull. The way her voice shook made him get the idea that maybe this was more than just a bad dream, but he wouldn't ask her about it, not yet. He couldn't send her back to her room like that... Shit.
"Fine." he agreed, hesitantly, "shit. Just lemme get a shirt on, right?" He added, he was trying to sound frustrated, but he didn't think he was doing a good job of it. Lily let out a victory giggle, and waited patiently, sitting on her corner at the end of the bed while Daryl felt around in his bedside drawer for a singlet, doing his best to awkwardly hold the sheet up.
"Why aren't you wearin' one? No wonder you never gotta wash your shirts." She said, half jesting. "And if you just put on a random shirt, won't that mean your pajamas are mismatched? Don't you hate that?" She rambled. Daryl could tell she was overtired.
"Lily - sleep." He ordered. Lily crawled over the mattress and under the covers next to Daryl, making herself as comfortable as possible on the lumpy mattress, and using one of the pillows Daryl had tossed to the other side of the bed. Finally he pulled out a balled up singlet and slipped it on as quickly as possible, it didn't matter. As he pulled it on he could feel her gaze on him - on his back. He lied back down and buried himself under the sheet.
"Daryl…" Lily's voice was so quiet Daryl could barely hear her. "What happened to your back?" She asked. Daryl tensed up before jamming his eyes tightly shut.
"Go to sleep, Lil." He said sternly.
"It looks like it hurts… Are they okay?" Daryl knew she was only concerned, but it was too sore a subject, he didn't want to do this shit at four AM. "What happened?"
"What's got ya scared in ya room?" He hoped redirecting the conversation would distract her, hoped she'd just tell him what was wrong so they could both go to sleep. He had to be up, getting ready for work in three hours.
"I'll answer yours if you answer mine?" She bargained. Daryl shook his head.
"G'night Lily." His statement was chased by several beats of silence, followed by a few uneven breaths from Lily, and the sound of the blanket rustling each time she tossed and turned, followed by more silence.
"I think Dad hates me." Her voice wavered more than she had wanted it to, and she immediately clamped her lips together to stifle a sob. "I really wanted to talk to him, you know? But he don't care." She hiccupped.
"He cares, he's just got a funny way of showin' it, tha's all. He don't hate you, or nothin'" Daryl paused, carefully selecting each word he would say.
"Then why won't he talk to me?" Daryl turned on his side to look at her, in the darkness he could still see her little shoulders shake with the sobs she was fighting to keep in. "Did I do something?" Daryl felt his chest ache, his throat go tight.
"Ain't your fault, Lil' Miss," he whispered, voice scratchy, searching again for those words. How do you tell a kid her dad is just a bit of an asshole sometimes? An inconsistent figure that would disappear as soon as he popped up? Daryl swallowed thickly. "Merle - ya dad - and me, we ain't ever had a real good dad, y'know?"
"Your dad wasn't around either?" She sniffled. Shit, Daryl bought a hand up to drag it over his face.
"Nah, not exactly like that," he gave a dry, humorless chuckle. "My old man was a bad guy, real bad. Them marks you saw on my back, that's the kind of Daddy me and your dad had… And our momma, she died when I was a lil' younger than you are now." Lily stopped crying long enough to redirect her gaze from the ceiling to Daryl's face.
"I wish that didn't happen to you, Daryl." She swallowed hard and scrubbed at her eyes.
"But it did, and to your daddy too," the only sounds between them was the cicadas humming outside Daryl's window, and Lily's shaky and uneven breathing. "Merle ain't ever met anyone showed him how to be a good dad, and he don't wanna screw up the same way our old man did."
Lily made a small 'oh' sound, before rolling onto her side and adjusting her pillow the way she wanted it. The mattress made a few unsavory sounds as the two got into their most comfortable sleeping positions, just as Daryl shut his eyes, he felt Lily give him a small poke.
"I just wanted to say, I think what your dad did to you… it was, well, it - it was really shitty." The feeling of cussing tingled on her lips. She heard Daryl snort somewhat humorlessly.
"Yeah, well 'tween you and me, I think what your dad's doin' is really shitty too." He hummed to himself and shut his eyes again. "Now can we get some sleep?" He asked, sarcasm seeping into his words. He felt the impact of a tiny body tackling him into an awkward, side-on hug. He smiled to himself. "Sleep, now - I mean it."
A.N.: I'm so sorry but I actually meant to update this like really quickly and then suddenly there was this thing with a blank piece of paper and me having zero ideas of how to write what was in my brain? Anyway, if you all are still out there, I hope this chapter was okay - I was so nervous to write it, and I really didn't wanna screw up that last bit so I hope it is okay. Credits to General KJ, for suggesting it to me that Daryl and Lily talk about this. Lily really needed to hear about how Merle and Daryl were raised, to have some insight about her own Dad's avoidance strategy and although it doesn't excuse Merle's actions, they will at least be more understandable. Likewise, Daryl needed to speak about the way he was raised, especially now he is in the position of caring for a child. Thank you again, General KJ... On a lighter note, Carol and Daryl being cutesy and domestic is sort of my thing, and I hope you all thought it was okay (I just have so many feels).
My resolution for the new year is to update more so hopefully that happens haha ah... *nervous laughter please don't hate me*.
Thanks so much to the people who reviewed last chapter, I really appreciate it so much!: Guest, Serpetinefire, General KJ, TimetravelingArchaeologist, lismrox, itsi3 and zombieslayer5.
I am so thankful for every single one of you who favourites and/or follows this, thank you so much: 89kw, AemryAvalon, BeautifulApocalypse, BellaBay, BrucieBaby, Cal0325, Caryl Warrior, Creed757, Dixonrocks, Doctor Grimes, Drika hatake, EmbraceYourFREAK, Emma Kellog, Evil Regal Tease, GeneralKJ, Gshden, HeartMachine, I-am-a-slash-addict, Jhill88, Kabrinastar, Lisab876, LopezG, LucyC-96, MSHK, MarcesibleLea, , NaaraHatake, Naple, Prodigium, Shaniqua Nunyadamnbidness, TWDHGfan, Tasshhy, The Name You Will Never Know, TheSwannsSparrow, TimetravelingArchaeologist, Tinkerbell99, Tjirs, Writingismypassions, adelicateflower08, anngun22, art-is-a-bang-yea, asdf5101, bspooky3, carolinahernandez87, crystal2817, daisylou2013, eowynmd, fangirl8494, featherbrainy, ferrisbueller, foxykitsuneyouko, gibbymom, hockeydrmr9, itsi3, jasmayyyne, krizue, ladynerdynerd, laurasb, lilhana, lismrox, liveinadive, mcmannusdixon, melniewn, naenurse, nanashipsCARYL, pandaslovemexx, pharmtechgrl71, protonefrid, redheadkaren, roxnl, sarafina2012, sbutler87, seashell Nico fan, shanik, smclendon, smolderhalderxo, speedy964, spygrrl99, summernightsxo, texasbelle91, thegreenwiggly, tyffany86, vcc711, wandwaving, wolfie22, xmoonlighxdreamsx, AlmostIcarus, AmbrolleignsxLove, Jrod77, NaaraHatake, NaiaKirra, YourOwnBeat1307, apfelstrudl, cthammons, defending-alien, hannlicious, juliaye, tessuhhh, yogapantsinpublic and zombieslayer5. I appreciate every one of you :)
Next Chapter: Daryl and Carol have an almost-date, and the girls go to rehearsal.