So is everybody pissed Charlie? I must warn you, this chapter doesn't get any nicer father figures... Don't worry it will be okay.
JPOV
It's been maybe five months since we left Bella and only Alice and Edward seem
okay. Esme and Carlisle both sank into a depression only parents can feel when their
child is gone. Emmett misses his little sister. He and Bella would spend sometimes days
playing video games or just talking with each other. Now it's hard to get him to do anything. Emmett no longer laughs or even smiles for anyone but Rosalie and even
then it's a small smile. Rose who couldn't stand to be near Bella, now misses her
tremendously. She was unnerved with Edward's obsession and thought she could
protect Bella by scaring her off. Now she wished she could see her one more time to tell
her she's sorry. On the opposite side Alice said she was happy that we finally left Bella,
because Bella was just trashy and hated shopping. Edward said that he was happy she
would move on with her life and that she wasn't meant for him. Because of this Rosalie
and Emmett have refused to speak with them and will even leave the room if they are
there. But lastly there was me. I miss Bella, like I'd miss a part of my body or a family
heirloom that was irreplaceable.
The house was a boring pot of emotional turmoil and I for one could no longer
stand to be anywhere near it. My wife no longer held any love for me. My Alice had
changed. She blamed me for what happened at the party and convinced the family of
that too. Rose and Emmett had both shrugged it off and went on with life, the others, not
so much. Carlisle and Esme blamed me for the loss of their youngest daughter. Under
normal circumstances I would have rushed to defend myself, but ever since we left
Forks, a huge hole has punched itself through my dead heart. I knew that I was missing
something but what?
So I was doing what I did everyday. Sitting in my study, in our Alaskan house,
staring out the window to the southeast. I didn't know why I looked southeast, but I
always did. But here I sat looking out at a bunch of trees when Alice danced her way
over to me. She didn't say anything to me, ignoring me as usual and reached for my
wallet. But today seemed different some how, for this time I stopped her. My hand
clasped around her small wrist and moved it away from my pockets.
"Only if you ask Alice,mk am I going to give you money." I said mockingly. Alice
huffed and turned away, leaving the door open on her way out. I felt no need to get up
and close it like I usually would have done, but instead left it open and continued
watching out the window. I could hear footsteps stopping outside my door, but I never
bothered to turn around to see who it was.
"Jasper," the sweet motherly voice of Esme drifted to my ears. "May Carlisle and
I come in?"
"Sure." I answered back sadly. I turned my attention way from the window with a
slight twinge in my heart and faced my "parents". The sadness and pain was still
prominent on my face, because Esme's eyes filled with tears that would never fall.
Carlisle seemed indifferent, still believing Alice over me. Esme however, I think, could
finally tell how broken I was and I let her.
"Oh Jasper. I'm so sorry. What kind of mother am I?" Esme wailed. I moved
silently over to her and wrapped her in a hug or at least tried. She moved until she was
hugging me, apologizing over and over again. I had to use my gift to calm her down a
little but eventually she loosened her grip on me and pulled back slightly as to look me
in the eyes.
"Come on Jasper. You and I will go hunting. You need it. Your eyes are pitch
black." Esme's voice was back to it's sweet and naturally kind self. One only a mother
could pull off. I let her help me up and then we took off for the forest just outside my
window. We ran for a few more minutes and then both went after a group of grizzly
bears. Emmett was going to be disappointed about missing them. After taking three of the five and leaving the other two for Esme to have, I set off in pursuit of a heard of elk.
Esme soon caught up with me and took down a couple of elks as well. No words were
spoken on our little trip but I could feel Esme's emotions. Regret, sorrow and self-
hatred. She felt disappointed in herself for some reason. So we ran back to the house in
silence, which if you asked me was hell. Pure hell. Usually small talk took the edge off
of the emotions. When we walked into the house we found everyone congregated in the
living room. Esme moved past me and sat down next to Carlisle on the couch with
Edward on the other end and Alice at her feet. Rosalie and Emmett took up the love
seat. I stood behind Emmett and Rosalie with my hands behind my back in a very
military position. Force of habit really. Carlisle cleared his throat unnecessarily and
began the family meeting.
"I think that enough is enough. We are all sick and depressed without Bella and
by we I mean all of us but Edward and Alice." Carlisle said there was a chorus of
agreement that went around the room. A change in his demeanor from earlier.
"Oh Carlisle, I hate to have lead all of you to think that I don't miss Bella," Edward
pipped in. "I miss Bella very much, but I have been trying to move on with my life like
Bella would want me to." Emmett snorted at Edward and then stood up and started
pacing.
"Em. Babe. I know you miss Bella and want to see her but first we need to work
this out." Rosalie said trying to get her mate to stay calm. I knew why he was so
emotional. He missed his sister and he knew that Edward just spout a fucking crock of
shit. Just then Wonder-boy growled at me. Carlisle stood up and settled us down before
taking the stage again. However Emmett stepped back up before he could speak.
"I don't care," Emmett started. "I know this family. We'll vote. Well here's my vote.
I'm going back. With or without this family. I'm gonna convince Bella to be my sister and
that is going to be that."
"We can't go back," Alice spoke. "We'll ruin her future if we go back. She is finally
happy without us." I quirked an eyebrow at her. I felt the deceit in her. She lied. So to
make sure nothing happened in her favor I pushed suspicion into the rest of the family,
who eyed Alice carefully. Emmett full on glared.
"What do you mean?" the big lug challenged. His arms bulging as he crossed
them over his chest.
"She is not meant for this world. She belo..."
"Bullshit," Emmett interrupted. "That is absolute bullshit. We all know that she
was made for the vampire world otherwise she would of had an actual sense of self
preservation."
"Emmett I understand your loyalty to Bella, even though it is completely
unwarranted.."
Alice didn't get to finish the sentence before Emmett had her by the neck up
against the wall. The look of pure rage didn't even add up to what he was feeling. Guilt,
rage, anger, sadness, hatred, self-loathing. The list could probably gone on but I
understood why. I turned my attention back to my brother, not even feeling the
obligation to go and help my wife. Emmett got right Alice's ear.
"Bella warrants every ounce of loyalty and devotion by people around her
because she is the most caring, unselfish and kind hearted human being I have ever
met. I don't think you grasp that concept Alice. She deserves more than any of us here. Well except Jasper. Jasper is in the same boat." Emmett said and at the end of his
speech dropped my wife to the ground.
"Jasper? Jasper is a monster. A killer, murderer. He is the reason we are in this
mess." Edward said trying to defend his sister. I lowered my head and unclasped my
hands from behind my back. I felt terrible. I was disgusted with myself. I had always
hated my self. My years with Maria came back. The dark and terrible emotions seeped
back in and I couldn't take it anymore. I sank to my knees and let out a harsh tortured
scream. Esme jumped at the sound. Rosalie flew to her feet and rushed over to me and
fell to her knees. She pulled me to her and held me, rocking me like she had done
countless times before. She was my sister in every way except blood. She knew
everything about me and I her. Only Emmett understood our bond as brother and sister
and didn't interfere. Rose just sat with me shushing me as she rocked me back and
forth. My cries and screams seemed to lessen a bit but the emotions still clung to me
like a lance through my undead heart. It hurt. The pain was overwhelming. Rose tried
everything she could to push happy emotions into me. But nothing prevailed. I was
sinking deeper and deeper into the blackness.
"Jazz? Jazzy look at me." Rose cooed. She pushed back a bit of my hair that had
fallen into my face. Tears filled my eyes, but they couldn't fall. None of us could actually
cry.
"Rosie," Emmett said to his mate. "Do you think you can get him out of this one?"
Emmett and Rose both knew that when I went into my cycles very little could get me
out. The smaller ones Rose usually could get me to come back to normal. This one
wasn't small.
"I don't think so. Call him. I'll keep Jazz as close to the surface as possible."
RPOV
My heart broke as I heard my brother. He, like me, rarely cried in front of anyone
and to let out a scream like that wasn't good. I rushed over to him as fast as I could go,
thankful he was only a few feet away. I held him like I always did. The sadness and the
self hatred he was projecting flew through me like I was dunked in a freezing cold.
Colder than me. I held my brother to me and rocked him. I always have since he told me
how he remembered his human mother rocking him when he was upset. So I took to
doing it. It seemed to help considerably. I asked Jasper to look at me, but he refused. I
knew that this was a bad cycle. Possibly one of his worst. There was no way that I could
get him out of this alone. Emmett went to call in our reinforcements. Mainly Peter and
Char, Jasper's brother and sister. Esme looked on terrified for her son and then looked
at Carlisle. Carlisle was too busy chatting away with Eddie and Malice to notice his mate
in distress. That needed to change.
"Esme, come here." I almost ordered. I felt bad but now wasn't the time. She
came over slowly and then sat next to Jasper. She watched him fight himself with tears
in her eyes. Edward looked over at us.
"Mother, why would you even think of going near some one as evil and
monstrous as Jasper." Edward sneered. I growled at him loudly, which jumped Esme. I
gave her a quick sorry and then looked back at Edward.
"Shut the fuck up pussy. He is twice the man you are. One more bad word out of
you and I'll fucking rip you to shreds." I hissed. Jasper whimpered, capturing my attention again and I resumed rocking him. Alice turned her nose up at her husband and flounced out of the room, passing Emmett on the way back in.
"What did he say?" I asked, keeping my tone soft. Emmett rubbed his left cheek,
something he did when he was worried or stressed. That wasn't a good sign. Emmett
usually didn't worry or get stressed so it was rare to see him do that. I rubbed Jasper's
shoulder soothingly, whispering to him.
"We'll get though this Jazzy. You and me we gotta stick together. We're family." I
said. From there, Jasper, Emmett and I retreated to Jazz's study only going into the
living room when the others had left. Emmett went hunting for me and Jasper, bringing
us back containers by the dozen full of wildlife. He kept us fed while Jasper screamed
and cried. After just a few hours Carlisle, Alice and Edward were sick of it and dragged
Esme with them up to the Denali's house. So we had the house to ourselves. It was our
house with the feeling of sadness. On the beginning of day four, the door banged open.
Emmett rushed off to see who it was, when a voice rang out.
"Where is he? Where's Jasper?" I was shocked to hear the voice. Emmett must
have felt the same because we both whispered the same name.
"Bella."
Ahhhh. Cliffy. But Bella found the Cullens... More specifically Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie... What do you thinks gonna happen? More to come soon. Please let me know what you think...
