Thank you for the reviews, friends. This fic seems far better received than i thought it would be.
Reviews are always nice.
When Hermione woke it was with a groan as light broke through the window in the cottage and pierced her very brain. She needed something to drink badly but felt too tired to get up. It was while she was struggling to sit up a little that she remembered what had transpired and with panic fuelling her actions she bolted upright and looked around frantically. She couldn't see hardly a sign of her daughter or the insane woman who had managed to find her.
She was just about to attempt getting out of bed when the door swung open and Bellatrix Black strode in wearing jeans that were a little too long and a sweater that was a little too big. In one arm was a tiny little baby also in a sweater that had no doubt been shrunk to fit and the other hand held a wand. Bellatrix didn't seem to noticed Hermione was awake and the brunette in question was too stunned to react right away.
Finally after levitating wood over onto the fire and some into the stove Bellatrix noticed the naked witch sitting up in the bed and turned to face her. It seemed that Hermione was either totally unashamed of her body or simply not aware of her nudity. Bellatrix didn't really mind, Hermione was definitely very easy on the eye, even after having had a baby barely more than 24 hours ago.
"Look kitten, mummy is finally awake." Bellatrix turned so the awake little baby could see her mother.
Tiny little dark grey eyes studied the naked brunette intently before looking back to Bellatrix and then back to Hermione. As if getting the message Bellatrix walked over and gently offered the baby to Hermione. The shock had waned a little and Hermione reached out and happily took her baby in her arms. Smiling down at the little girl Hermione cooed happily and stroked the tiny cheek. It was only when the baby was nuzzling at her breast that Hermione realised she was naked and that her breasts felt tight and sore.
Adjusting the little baby in her arms Hermione forgot about Bellatrix who was watching with a small smile and let the little girl latch onto one of her nipples and feed. Finally the older witch turned away and moved to the stove where she got a pot and filled it with water magically and then some of the oats she had found in the cupboard.
"You should try to get her to feed from both, especially if you are sore. It will help relieve the pressure but not for long." Bellatrix spoke up again finally as she let the water and oats slowly come to a boil while taking a glass of water to the young brunette.
"Thanks." Hermione mutters with a bitter edge to her hoarse voice.
"You may just be better off letting your milk dry up, you have no way to express it and Kitten cant drink that much." Bellatrix adds stoking the fire as Hermione downs the glass of water.
"How do you know all this?" Hermione sounds a lot better after having had drank the water but she wished she had more.
"I helped Cissy when that little prat of hers was born. He was a much better baby than he is man. His fathers doing I believe." Bellatrix pulled off the sweater to reveal she was wearing one of Hermione's tank tops.
"No doubt." Hermione mumbles looking back down to her dozing daughter.
"Do you have a name I should be calling her?" Hermione shakes her head and her eyes turn sad.
"I hated that I was pregnant. I didn't want it but I couldn't terminate, it wasn't her fault. I was ashamed and I left, just disappeared one night. I don't know what my plan was but I didn't know I could love her until you said something was wrong." Hermione confesses sadly.
"Who is the daddy? The little Weasel?" Bellatrix cant help the tone she used more often than not any more though, from the look of fear and revulsion on the brunettes face she wished she had.
"No. I don't know who the father is. She may as well be yours, this is your fault." Hermione bites out the bitter edge back to her voice.
"So you've said but I'm pretty sure I didn't shag you." Bellatrix scowled from where she was stirring the porridge, she didn't understand why Hermione was blaming her.
Hermione remained quiet for a long time looking down at the little girl in her arms and ignoring the confusing presence in the room. Bellatrix had tortured Hermione less than a year go and seemed to enjoy herself while doing it. She carved the derogative word in her arm and seemed to be pleased with her work. Then almost 10 months later she shows up out of the darkness and saves not only her but her baby as well.
"You gave me to them. While you were with the goblin you let them have me." Hermione whispered and Bellatrix would have missed the words had she been even a notch quieter.
"Who? I gave you to no one. In fact I told them expressly that they were not to lay a finger on you." Bellatrix looked mad, not insane but actually angry.
"Lucius and Fenrir... They had their fun." Hermione mutters only slightly louder than before.
Bellatrix grit her teeth even going so far as to make a snarling sound at the mere thought those beasts had assaulted Hermione. She had expressly told the fools to leave the girl alone and to not touch her in any way. Merlin, she was only gone not quite an hour while she interrogated the goblin. Sure Bellatrix was certainly no kind soul, she had been expected to be a weapon, an answer getter by any means. She absolutely drew the line at anyone man or woman being sexually assaulted.
"It would almost be worth getting thrown back in Azkaban so I could have a word with dear Lucius." Bellatrix snarled walking over to mother and daughter.
"The beast that sired you is gone from this world little kitten but I promise you are no worse off without him." Hermione watched in wonder as the older witch gently caressed her daughters head. Seeing Bellatrix Black being tender was really rather heart warming.
"Wait, how do you know it was Fenrir?" Hermione asks catching the implication to the womans words.
"When I found out I was to be married off to Rodulphus I did a lot of research and created a potion. I sterilised myself. Cissy found out that Lucius was a cheating good for nothing prat and wanted the potion, she was going to sterilise herself but I convinced her it would be better done to him so he couldn't have any illegitimate heirs to challenge her little dragons birth rite." Bellatrix explained grabbing the blanket and covering Hermione a little better when she noticed goosebumps on the brunettes skin.
"You sterilised yourself? You never wanted kids?" Hermione asks momentarily forgetting the point of the conversation.
"I've always wanted kids, pup. But I would not have them with a man like Rod and I had no choice but to marry him. Its a sacrifice I wish I had never been forced into making." Bellatrix speaks nonchalantly as she moves back over to the porridge.
"I... i'm sorry." Hermione says softly her tone sincere.
"Do not ever apologise to me Granger." Bellatrix's tone is more harsh than she intends and Hermione flinched.
Bellatrix sighed softly and took the pot off the stove top setting it aside before turning and moving back over to the brunette. Slowly the raven haired witch sits on the bed beside the brunette and places her hand over Kittens head. Looking into cautious brown eyes Bellatrix felt her whole soul soften. How could she have ever treated this stunning young woman so poorly and for a dead man no less?
"Do not ever apologise to me Hermione. No matter what you ever do to me I will never deserve your apology. I wronged you in the worst possible ways." Bellatrix's tone is gentle and she lifts her hand from the babies head and gently cups Hermione's cheek.
"Did you ever want to do it? Any of it?" Hermione seems to ask all the right questions as Bellatrix's eyes turn stormy before looking defeated.
How was she supposed to explain her life to someone so gentle and relatively sheltered from the evils of the world. What Bellatrix had done to Hermione was a small part of what had been done Bellatrix in her past. She didn't want sympathy for her life, for being too weak to change it for herself and yet she felt she owed it to Hermione to tell her. She did not want sympathy, she didn't deserve, she always had a choice she just chose to live for her sisters instead of forsake them.
"It's a tough question, pup. I convinced myself that I did want to do it. All of it. It was easier that way, to deal with the fact that I had to do it. If it had been up to me I would have left Hogwarts and travelled before returning home and finding a job. Preferably something to do with beasts as i've always enjoyed their presence." Bellatrix began her tone neutral, she knew that Hermione would ask why she didn't.
"You were forced though, into the life you've lead? Your father?" Hermione, always surprising the death eater.
"I was technically, it was this life or no life but believe it or not it was my mother. She didn't like me much after Andy was born and so she wanted to make me the best I could be instead of the carefree little girl that I started out to be. If I was chasing butterflies instead of words across pages she wouldn't hesitate to hex me. No matter. If I was good nothing back happened and they seemed to love my sisters. When mother first heard of Voldemort she had him contact the mad man and set up a deal, that our family would be left out of the wars if they gave him me." Bellatrix shrugged her shoulders again sitting a little more comfortably on the bed.
"So you agreed to kill and torture people instead of choosing death?" Hermione is more curious than anything else and its a little surprising that there is no accusation in the brunettes tone.
"It sounds stupid I know, but you have to understand. If he didn't get me they would have given one of my sisters. Andy and Cissy are far too good for that kind of life. I could handle the atrocity better though really I fear I lost my mind somewhere. I started to enjoy it." Bellatrix confessed the last in whisper.
"Not me though... I could see it on your face." Hermione gently reaches out and for the first time initiates contact between them when she takes Bellatrix's hand in her own.
"No, not you. I cant explain he draw you have for me. You're an incredible witch Hermione, so smart and powerful and no one had ever stood up to torture the way you did. I admire you more than you would imagine. Your tenacity and your loyalty to your friends, your cause. You're phenomenal and for the first time in a long time I truly hated myself for what I did to you. But if I showed you mercy..." Bellatrix trailed off and looked down at their joined hands.
"You'd have been killed?" Hermione guesses softly.
"No... well maybe but not at first. No he would have had Cissy tortured in front of me. Andy too if he could have gotten her. I did all this for my sisters, no matter how much it made my dark soul ache, I couldn't not do what I did to you." Bellatrix admits a little sadly.
"You shouldn't feel bad for doing what you did to survive, to keep your sisters safe. Its admirable. It seems I may have seriously misjudged you." Hermione gently squeezes the slim hand in her own.
"You're a far better person than anyone has a right to be. I have to ask though Hermione... Why have you been in hiding?" Bellatrix asks changing the subject, she had been dying to know since she found the girl.
Hermione tensed slightly before sighing soft and looking at her daughter, pain sliced through her worse than any crucio Bellatrix could have cast on her. She couldn't figure out how she could have even ever entertained the idea of abandoning this little life in her arms. Her happy content little newborn would never have deserved that and even though she knew that now she didn't when she first found out.
"I left the same day I found out about Kitten. Ronald tried valiantly to get me to acknowledge his advances but couldn't understand why I didn't want him. I couldn't tell them I had been... that they had raped me. So when I found out about Kitten I just left, I figured I would hide away and once I had her I would take her to a hospital in London and leave her." Tears welled up in Hermione's eyes at this explanation, the idea of ever leaving her daughter was suddenly incredibly abhorrent.
"Why not terminate?" Bellatrix's fingers began to play idly with Hermione's.
"I couldn't bring myself to snuff her little life. It wasn't her fault she was conceived. Leaving wasn't so bad, I had left my parents, leaving the boys was a piece of really horrible cake. Cake nonetheless. But I have to thank you Bella, from the bottom of my heart I have to thank you for saving myself and Kitten. If you hadn't found us we'd have both died." Hermione says sincerely as she gently lays the baby in the bed beside her and moves to get up.
"Bella?" The raven haired witch doesn't hesitate to stand and help the brunette get to her feet.
"Oh. I'm sorry I didn't mean to." Hermione blushes a little embarrassed by the familiar term she had let slip.
"Its ok. I haven't been called Bella by anyone but my sisters and Him." Bellatrix confesses helping Hermione into the bathroom and down onto the loo.
"I'll fetch you some clothes and you can take a bath if you like, i'm sure your muscles are sore." Bellatrix turns to leave the brunette to do her business.
"Thank you that would be nice." Hermione smiles at the raven haired woman.
Never in a million years would Hermione have imagined this scenario but here she was being cared for by Bellatrix Black a woman had tortured her and almost broke her less than a year ago. It was surreal and yet Hermione saw it as the blessing it was. Bellatrix was smart and quick thinking and shockingly maternal. Clearly she had looked after Hermione's daughter while she was unconscious.