September 14, 1943

This morning, when I was in the middle of waking, I forgot where I was, but then my body caught up to my brain, and I found that I was curled into my husband's side. "You should have wakened me up," I said drowsily, when I saw that his eyes were open.

"I like watching you sleep," he said, kissing my forehead.

"Hold me," I said, putting my arm over him and getting as close as I possibly could, enjoying the sound of his heartbeat as I rejoined the waking world.

"Anna," he said, "we can stay in bed all day if you like, but I have something to tell you, and I want to go ahead, even though it's difficult."

"All right," I said, closing my eyes and sensing what was coming.

"Mr. Stark did a lot of investigating over the past weeks, and he—was able to find out that a man of your father's name was transported from Budapest to Austria, where he—passed away very quickly in a camp. He became ill on the journey, and he didn't suffer very much—just went to sleep and never woke up."

I was silent, not crying, trying to take in the confirmation of what I'd already sensed deep within me. My father, with his crinkly eyes and his gentle hands, was no longer in the world. I'd known, but knowing all over again, knowing how final it was, hurt in a different way.

"Darling, was I right to tell you?" Edwin turned so he could face me, stroking my hair because my face was buried in his shoulder.

"Of course," I answered. "I'll have to thank Stark for finding out. That was very kind of him."

"Oh, Anna." Something about my husband's voice and his gentleness released the flood of tears inside me that were waiting to come out, and I broke down, the pent-up stress of the past several days combining with my grief and racking me with sobs.

Edwin didn't speak. He just held me for the longest time, until I could breathe normally again and bear to open my eyes. "You're my home now," I said to him.

He put his big hand on my cheek and kissed me, very softly and tenderly. "See," he said, "I've branded you, and nobody can take you away from me." That made me laugh, and I wiped my eyes on the edge of his pyjama shirt. "I'd like to take you somewhere and show you something, if you can stand to go out," said Edwin after a minute or two.

"All right," I answered, feeling emptied and wrung out, but also filled with love and comfort at the same time.

I could hear Edwin singing in the bathroom as I dressed, and I quickly put on a bright red dress that Stark's people had left for me. It was stylish and new and entirely unlike anything I'd owned in Hungary. But I wanted to look pretty and feel pretty, to embrace a future without the man who had cared for me in the past, but with the man I cared for now, who also cared for me, more than I'd ever imagined anyone could. A future in which I could be myself, far from the darkness of the place I'd left behind.

Edwin came out in his shirtsleeves and stared for a while. "I'd nearly forgotten how beautiful you are," he said.

"I hadn't forgotten one iota of how handsome you are," I answered, surveying him as eagerly as he was surveying me.

We ate breakfast in our small, cozy kitchen. Edwin said no one minded if we ate in the bigger kitchen that served the rest of the house, but I was happy to drink coffee and eat toast and eggs with him alone.

"Where are we going?" I asked, once I'd had a few mouthfuls of his excellent scrambled eggs.

"The lake," he answered. "It's my favorite place on the property. I go there to think sometimes."

"I'd like that," I said, smiling at him. "I want to know everything you do and see everywhere you go, but you'll have to draw me a map of the house, or you'll never be able to leave me alone ever again."

He laughed. "As attractive as that prospect is, I suppose it isn't quite practical."

After breakfast, I cleared the dishes and washed them, and I felt that we were probably setting into a comfortable routine. I'm not a particularly good cook, but Edwin is, and besides, I like watching him.

Everything put away, I took my husband's hand, and he led me through more seemingly endless corridors to an outside door at the side of the house. We walked across the property, and I admired the beautiful landscaping and enjoyed the brisk autumn wind. We spoke little but we felt very, very close.

After a ten-minute walk, we arrived at a ring of trees. Edwin took me through them, and I found myself at the edge of a clear, sparkling lake. "Beautiful," I whispered.

"I thought you might like—," said Edwin, "to say something to your father here. I'm so very sorry that you can't lay him to rest yourself. Even Mr. Stark can't accomplish that."

"Thank you," I answered, looking up at him and nodding. He walked several paces off, out of sight, and I bent down and picked up a smooth stone at my feet.

"Abba," I said softly, "you were the best father in the whole world, and I'll never forget you. I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you, but you were always protecting me instead. I'm so glad you knew about Edwin. You knew even before I did that he's a good man. I'm not sure you knew that you taught me so much about loving and being loved. Because of you, I know that it's not about being selfish and needy and without identity. It's about choosing someone and throwing your lot in with them and letting them into the deepest part of you. I've chosen Edwin, and I'll keep choosing him, no matter how hard the bad days are, just like you chose Mother and then me. I love you, Abba, and I always will." I threw the stone into the lake, and as I watched it sink into the clear water, I let go of my father—not to forget him, but to release the darker memories and hang on to the light and happy ones. I turned my back on the water, leaving behind the past and turning toward a future with a man who is tall and kind and almost as stubborn as I am, who loves me more than I deserve.

I met my husband halfway, as he was coming back to find me, and I put both of my hands out and took both of his, facing him and looking into his eyes, content with what I saw. "Thank you for bringing me here, Mr. Jarvis."

"You're very welcome, Mrs. Jarvis."

Tonight I put on the record player in our suite and searched through the mountain of records Stark had provided, finally finding what I was after.

Although he may not be the man some

Girls think of as handsome

To my heart he carries the key

Won't you tell him please to put on some speed

Follow my lead, oh, how I need

Someone to watch over me

I closed my eyes and let Edwin lead, content to simply be. "Thank you for coming home to me, my Anna," he whispered. "I need someone like you to watch over me."

I suppose I'll keep learning about love for the rest of my life, but in that moment, I knew: When it's dangerous. When you're angry. When you're blissfully happy. When everything is going wrong or everything is going well-Love is watching over someone while they watch over you.

Postscript

Edwin's given me another journal, a small, black one that I can take with me wherever I go. This one isn't quite full, but I want to keep it as the record of the extraordinary days that brought Edwin Jarvis to me and brought me back to him.

I don't know what my life here is going to bring, but I'm filled with excitement when I think about it. Tonight at dinner, Stark asked me if I'd like to see his product development lab tomorrow. He thinks I'll like it. He says that if I do, I can go there as often as I like and do whatever I want—because he trusts my talent with machines.

"Talent with machines?" My husband looked across the table at me and shook his head. "Anna Jarvis, you'll never stop surprising me."

A/N: I know this story is probably going to go very AU this coming week when Season 2 starts airing. When I began writing it, Jarvis's wife was just an intriguing voice and someone we knew he loved enough to risk his entire life for. We didn't even know that her name was spelled Ana instead of Anna. I'm thrilled to see what the amazing Lotte Verbeek brings to the character, and I want to thank everyone who has read and will read this story for going on this journey with me.