Ilona Andrews own the Kate Daniels series.
A/N: There and back again
Un-beta'd
Chapter 13: The Return
I drowned in the sea of memories. At least, I thought it was memories. There was only darkness, everywhere I looked, as I sank deeper. My chest burned, and I fought to keep my mouth closed. To keep from swallowing the waters. For some reason, I was terribly afraid of it. I couldn't muster the energy to remember why.
The inside of my body scorched with the need to breathe. But I didn't dare. There was no light, no way to know how deep I've sunk. My shifter eyes did nothing to make a difference in that. Despite that, I wasn't afraid. What I feared more was the moment when my body stopped listening, and took the first lungful of water.
But who was I? Where was I? What is this…body I'm in?
My mouth opened to ask, "Who?"
The waters gushed in. I choked. Too much, too much, my brain alerted me. I gagged and struggled, clasping my throat. My body worked to swallow the water. More spurted in. It went into my stomach, my lungs and, eventually, my nose. I coughed, but it only brought more water. I clawed at my surroundings, but there was no purchase. A silent chill crept up my spine. My heart thundered desperately within the confines of my chest. There wasn't enough air. I couldn't breathe.
I couldn't breathe.
Nothing. There was nothing for my eyes to see. On paper, there should be nothing that scared me. But it doesn't explain the chill in my bones, the stampede in my chest, or the terror in my soul. It did nothing to solve the fears in my body. I tried to scream, even as my conscience told me to keep my mouth shut. For the first time, it had a life-threatening reason.
An arm snaked underneath me and pulled me up. I burst out of the waters and felt the air slide over my bare skin. My lungs started to work on their own, drawing in a fresh supply of oxygen. The shot of water still in my throat spurted out as I gasped and jerked in someone's arms. A pair of arms clamped around me, stopping my struggles. I tried to open my eyes and catch a glimpse of the person. Black spots danced in my vision. The sunlight flickering at the edge of my eyes burned. I moaned and let my head drop back. My mind spun from the pain and vertigo.
Death had never hurt this much.
The hand dropped away. The arm beneath me deposited me on some sort of plank. My hearing shorted in and out. I gasped as I took my first, unimpeded lungful of air. Dry, dusty and packed with magic. I sucked it all in, and felt the burn beneath my skin. As the magic worked its way through me. I breathed deeply, coughing. My lungs hurt. My chest hurt. I breathed deeply again. This time, I heard sounds. Indistinct, painful but definitely sounds.
I struggled to remember the words, the cadences and phonetic forms of the English word. While a language and funny letters swirled in my mind's eye, evoking many of my dreams as a child. And nightmares. The pain alone should've been a deterrent, but I listened on, trying to pick out the different pronunciation, the individual pitch and dip of a sole voice. A small hand touched my hair. I stilled. The wind blew over. Sunshine and magic. Julie?
Warm and light, she touched my cheek. "Seleyda?"
I took a deep breath. My lips cracked. Ouch. I tasted blood. I couldn't talk. My throat and mouth wouldn't be able to handle it. I opened my eyes. There were black spots, but I could see the worry. A dimpled smile of a baby I'd lost washed over her face. I blinked. Those freckles came back. Her nose came back. Julie came back.
It hurt more than I could ever say to smile back. Knowing, just knowing I'd thought she was my baby. Julie stared at me in shock, and ran out the tent. The tent Raphael was sleeping in. I only learned later that she'd mistaken me for her mother. I heard her talking to someone, but wherever that burst of energy had come from earlier to even attempt to sort out the voices, it had left me. I sank back into the depths of darkness.
When I woke next, night had covered its cloak upon the world. I blinked as the thought came to me. Night had a cloak? A soft, throaty voice murmured words at the back of my mind. Mom? I stilled under the rough blanket.
'Night had covered its cloak upon the world, and the people of Atlanta wept and prayed to the gods to deliver them from the mad bear king Andorf. But the gods would not listen, and all hope was lost.'
''No, Mama. All hope not lost. Men can. Men will!''
Laughter shook the tiny bed. "Yes, LeeLee. Men will rise and save themselves. Thunder shook the earth and the winds brought a thousand storms. When the man came, the people realized he was not a man. He was not an animal. He was both.
Tiny hands made claps that it had only known. Baby giggles danced along with the creaky boards beneath. "Papa! Papa Lion!"
A soft kiss touched her wispy dark hair. "Yes, sweetheart. Papa Lion. Your Papa Lion." The light clearing of her throat. "And so the bear king Andorf was slayed. The people rejoiced –"
"What's regoinced?" A child asked.
Laughter. "They danced, LeeLee. They danced and sang and fed their new ruler…"
As if on cue, the little girl went, "Papa Lion! Papa Lion!" The little girl cleared her throat. "And ta Papa Lion had a little baby girl named LeeLee Medrano Maitland Lennart. A magical little girl. But…"You could feel the frown on the little girl's face.
"But the little girl was too magical. She had to be kept away from Papa Lion, because Papa Lion is too young, and so is little LeeLee." The little girl squealed as her mother tickled her. "One day. One day, when Papa Lion and LeeLee are old enough, they will meet and they will be a family again."
"But Mama…What about you?"
She laughed sadly. "There won't be this Mama. Another Mama is waiting for you. She can't have babies, you see. You'll be her baby." A tender kiss pressed to a baby's cheek. "Sleep, my baby Seleyda."
"Night, Mama." The tiny black head turned away from the door, curling up in worn but soft sheets.
My dearest LeeLee,
I can only give you what I have, and show you what can be. Choose and be strong about it. There will be much light and shadows, but know that you are loved, from the moment you are in my womb till the moment you breathe your last. Know that your Mama loves you. Know that I will never regret my choice to leave and have you take my place in the balance of Life. When we meet again, we shall laugh till the end of time in the Isles of the Blessed. I will wait there and learn again everything that I have missed. I love you."
The warm, comforting voice faded from my mind. My mother's voice – that is my mother's voice. She knew. She knew that I'm Curran's child. She knew she was going to die, and I was going to be alone. She knew, and didn't tell me a thing.
Well, well, well, your mom's a bitch and your dad's insane. You must've hit the record low for any family history. Not to mention your stepmom. She is a work of art on her own.
SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCKING UP OR I WILL PERSONALLY GO BACK DOWN THERE AND BREAK YOUR NECK!
You wouldn't dare.
I dare. You know I dare. So leave me alone!
A scorching kiss pressed itself against my mouth. I managed an uneven breath before it was taken from me. My eyes fluttered close. The rough rasp of his tongue against mine drowned my senses in the purest form of passion. I lost track of what I was thinking as he swept me away in a maelstrom of desire. My hand grasped the thick dark locks I'd memorized by sight and feeling. I tasted the musky male scent that was so familiar…but different. He kissed me tenderly on my temple. I inhaled. Sandalwood. He smelled of sandalwood. Derek.
"Derek?" I asked, panting. It came out as a whisper.
"Ssh," Derek soothed throatily. I writhed against him. The lines on his face deepened. "Are. You. Okay?" His words were careful; measured. I stared at him, my mind a complete blank. I did the only thing I could do.
I reached for him. Derek started to move away, but stilled. I caressed the warm, rough face I'd somehow gotten to love. He kept still. So still I thought he wasn't even alive, if not for enhanced shifter hearing. I reached up my other hand and explored the hard and soft planes of Derek Gaunt's face. Eventually, he relaxed into my touch, and opened those brown eyes to me. I stared up at them. Have I ever told him how utterly beautiful his eyes were?
The memory of a smirk touched his full lips. "Now you have."
I blushed. "I said it out loud."
Laughter vibrated through his body. "Yes, you did." Derek kissed my cheek. "Don't do this to me again, alright?"
I played with his hair. "I'll try." He pulled me close despite the blanket between us. Derek kissed my dark hair. I snuggled close. Fatigue settled in my bones. I barely managed to stop a yawn. "How was your day?"
His body vibrated with silent laughter. "You just spent thirteen hours in bed after I'd sliced you open and the first thing you ask is how was your day?"
"I'll admit, that wasn't the smoothest change of subject, but give me some credit," I protested. I fake-punched him in the shoulder. The strength drained out of me. My fist barely touched his shoulder before falling like dead weight to the floor. Derek looked down at me worriedly. "Thirteen hours? Doesn't that just seem like bad luck to be this close to me?" Derek looked mockingly horrified. I giggled.
"Is it?" He asked. "Seleyda?" He started to tickle me. I squealed in shock. Suddenly, I started coughing. I couldn't seem to stop. "Seleyda? Seleyda!" Derek quickly got off me. The quick thumps on my back did nothing to soothe my burning throat. In fact, it only made me cough harder.
"Derek, what the hell happen-" Raphael suddenly stopped talking. I heard the frightening shredding of clothes. Derek went flying. Out the tent, I might add, but then Raphael roughly pulled me close to him and shot upright. He ran to the end of the tent and set me down on the table. A new addition to the tent.
Raphael shakily poured something out into a cup. He cupped my neck and started to pour the mixture into my mouth. The familiar, atrocious taste of homemade herbal remedies slid comfortably down my throat. A touch of magic sparked my own, and the effects became even more apparent. I breathed deeply, and the tiny black dots faded away. "Breathe, niece. Breathe."
"W-What d-did you g-give me?" I managed.
"A tincture. Dali made it for you. She's a were-tiger. Dali…she claimed she saw a mark over you, a mark that no one could run away from. Not for long, she said. That was the last one I'm supposed to give you." Brilliant blue eyes stared worriedly at me. "Are you alright?" I nodded shakily. "Did Derek-" His eyes turned ruby red. "Did he rape you?"
I stared at hm. "What m-made you think so?"
"The people heard noises. I heard Derek shout, and ran in here. I thought-" he closed his eyes as if in pain. "I thought something had happened, that I didn't follow Dali's words to the letter, that I'd forgotten to do the steps right, that I'd remember the things wrong. I never felt as scared as I did the moment I realized you were in danger." He pressed his forehead against mine. "Please, please, please don't do this ever again, alright, Seleyda?"
"I-I can't," I whispered. Raphael glared at me. "We can't know what the future has in store for us." His lips were set in a mulish line. "We can only live in the moment." I smiled up at him. Raphael blinked. He opened his mouth. His throat worked.
Long lashes danced up and down. " Seleyda, don't get this wrong, but for a moment there, just a moment, you looked exactly like your mother."
My breath caught in my throat. "Really?" He nodded. "Did you know I had a dream about her? Well, not exactly a dream. It's more like a…memory." He lets go of me. Derek silently slipped him. He froze, and then slowly sat down on the sheets. Raphael gestured me to continue, oblivious. I told them both. A look of shock crossed their faces when I told them my full name.
"Lennart?" They chorused.
"You're Curran's child?" Raphael questioned in disbelief.
"You're His Majesty's…" Derek swallowed. He looked green. Raphael shot a look of shock that slowly turned to suspicion.
"Ssh!" I hissed. "No one else needs to know this. Not. Even. Julie. Especially her. We can't afford the tantrum and distrust this news will no doubt bring. As it is, we don't have time!" I chewed on my fingernails. Raphael pulled my hand aside. I glared at him.
"No biting," he insisted. " Etiquette."
"Oh, fuck you, Uncle. We don't have time for etiquette class!" He seemed hurt, but I didn't have time to care. "It's the fourth day already, right?"
"Early morning, but yes. Whoa, Seleyda! What are you doing?" I'd gotten up. Derek instead had ducked his head between his knees and was rocking himself back and forth. Oh, yeah, he's been messing around with Curran Lennart's daughter. The highest authority and legend in Atlantean shapeshifter circles.
"Getting back to work. Are the seeds planted?" Raphael nodded and gestured at my body. I looked down. I was buck-assed naked. "Where are my clothes?"
"They were disposed of. We…we had to cut it off you to get to the wound." Raphael's face tightened at the memory. I could smell the terror coming off him. "You'll need to wait if you want new cl-What the hell?" There was a new set of clothes in my hands.
I smirked. "Magic, remember?" I tweaked his nose. "Now, excuse me." I made a shooing gesture. Slowly, Raphael and Derek exit the tent. I sighed. Boys. I scanned the area. The coast was clear. I pulled off the shirt again.
I stared at my flawless, peaches-and-cream skin. Was this some sort of subconscious glamour? I ran a finger over the pale stomach before me. Smooth, warm and…ticklish. I giggled. My hand sought out the claw scars decorating my arms. All I felt was baby smooth skin. I couldn't see my back, but I could feel its smoothness. There was no ridged skin. No rough patches. Old bruises that never healed and burn marks – gone. All gone. I felt like crying, for some reason. I rubbed my dry eyes. I wasn't scarred anymore, so what? I was still messed up inside. I saw my swords leaning at the corner. I picked up one, unsheathed it, and ran it lightly over my left wrist.
Crimson pearls beaded out of the open wound. My eyes blurred with tears. Somehow, somewhere, I was healed. I was going to live. Ana wasn't going to lose me. Derek wasn't going to lose me. Raphael wasn't going to lose me. My father wasn't going to lose me.
"They will, you know. Eventually." A soft, female voice assured my worst nightmares.
My hand was already thrusting backwards by the time I realized it. A small woman stood a hair's breadth away from the sharpest edge of my knife. I would've called her a girl, except her proportion was adult-sized. She was naturally dark-skinned, with a wide and round face, and stunning brown eyes. Her built was slender, but not soft. There was strength to her limbs and torso. She looked well fed, and glowed with happiness despite the frown lines on her forehead. I was jealous, I realized. Not because she was skinny – those women make me want to hurl. She looked as if she'd been loved every day of her life, and never left wanting for food. More than that, I was impressed by the lack of fear in her brown eyes. Dali, James Damael Shrapshire's mate. I couldn't fault his choice.
"What?" I asked. Thank god I hadn't removed the silence circle surrounding the tent.
"I only managed to stave off the inevitable for the time being," Dali told me. "What you see there is a combination of my mother and Doolittle's medicinal teachings." She knew, then.
"How long?" I asked instead. Dali blinked.
" 'How long?'" She quoted me. "How can you be so-" Dali waved her hands wildly. "-so normal about it? You're going to die, Seleyda. Not every fifteen-year-old gets that sort of news every day."
"Fourteen," I corrected. I smiled as I sheathed the sword. "I'm fourteen, but thanks for the compliment. As for your second question, I know I'm going to die. I've known that for a very long time. But, you haven't answer my question."
"Eighteen months. Maybe less." A year and a half. More than I'd ever hoped for. I had Dali, her mother and Dr. George Doolittle to thank.
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me!" Dali shouted at me. "I'm going to be forced to watch you die! Just as Raphael and Derek will!" I flinched, although I had considered the fact. "Do you know how much this will hurt them?" Her hands fisted by her side. "Is this how Doolittle felt when he was healing Kate?" She half-murmured to herself. I was her first patient. Oh, holy crap.
"I know." I pulled on my underwear. "There is nothing I can do to change the fact that I am going to die. I can only live with it. But thank you, for letting giving me more time."
"More time? How is eighteen months more time?"
"Before today, I only had nine months to live. Six, because of all the magic I used to fortify this place. Now I have double the time." Her brown skin went pale.
"So the more magic you use, the faster you run out of time?" I could feel her struggle to understand the situation. "Is it a curse or something? Parasite?"
I stilled. "Something like that. I haven't found a cure for it yet." I doubt I ever will. I pulled on the green shirt and dark pants.
"Doesn't mean there isn't one out there." I almost smiled. So stubborn. Just like my Ana. I noticed the line on my wrist. It was still there. Dali was right. I didn't have time to live. "Is it something that messed with Lycos-V?" I stilled, the sword in my hand. "Because the cut on your wrist should've been gone by now."
"Yes. The virus…messes up my body. My body is constantly fighting it, to reach its own chemical balance, so my healing abilities aren't as strong as most people." Bullshit. My regeneration ability's the only thing keeping me from the grave. I healed slower because I didn't have magic in my body. Dying tends to do that to you. My hair fell to the front of my face. Dark, straight, and pulsing with magic. Suddenly, my stomach growled.
"Would you like something to eat?" Dali questioned.
"No, but thanks. I can hunt while I'm out. I'll go check out the enemy's numbers. Stay here and make sure everyone listens. I'll be back late afternoon." I walked past her through the tent flaps. She grabbed my arm. "Dali?"
"I will tell them," she insisted. "About your condition."
"No you won't," I added quietly. "Because you're hoping that I will, and for there to be a chance for me to live longer." Dali lets go of me.
I left the tent with dry eyes and a crying heart. Raphael and Derek were nowhere in sight. Instead, two dark-haired, black-eyed boys waited for me. They were dressed to kill. I sighed.
"Sharpen your claws, boys. We're going to hell."
A/N: That was fast. Hope you guys like Dali, Raphael and Derek in the story. Thanks for you support and please, as always, R&R! LOVE YOU ALLz!