A/N: Final Part of the Resolution! Sorry if this chapter is rough. I was listening to music as I typed this up, so I might have forgotten to make better transitions xD After this, an epilogue, and this story will be done ;-;

Chapter 12

Farkle arranged plans for Riley and me to meet. Except she thinks she's meeting up with him, not me, though she could be suspicious because I don't think it makes sense for him to ask her to go to the NYU campus store first, and that terrifies me. What if she sees me and runs out, never giving me a chance to tell my side of the story, never giving me a chance to hear hers? I'm so afraid; I can feel it fill my lungs, fill my mind, fill my heart. Somebody keep me here. I'm scared, and I don't want to change my anymore.

I wish Lucas was here, and he wanted to be with me too, but I told him he couldn't. It would hurt Riley, and I swore I would never hurt her. But I suppose I already did. That's another thing that's breaking me. I shift on my feet as I wait for her arrival. The employee who took over my shift has been eyeing me warily. I can't blame her. After all, I'm practically a solicitor. But I have my reasons, and I'll use them if I have to.

Then the bell on the door chimes, and I see a girl with brown hair approach me. She wears a blank expression, which makes me break out into a sweat because I used to read her so well.

I expected her to run when she saw me, and when she doesn't, I expect her to ignore me. But instead, she walks right up to me and says, "Are you meeting up with Farkle too?"

I shake my head, speechless.

"Is it just you and me?"

I nod with a sheepish smile that comes out more as a grimace.

"Did he put you up to this?" He being Farkle, not Lucas. It takes me a moment to realize that.

I shake my head again.

She seems to relax at this, which gives me hope. Maybe she really isn't mad at me; maybe she is just as nervous as me. She says, "Okay, where to?"

I finally manage to find my voice. "A-anywhere you want to go, Riles."

She smiles. "Well, I'm in the mood for Italian."

. . .

Riley makes sure to pick a cheap restaurant. I turn to her with a grateful smile which she returns, and we walk inside. It's a cozy place: wooden tables and seats and plaid table cloths with candles lit in the center. We sit by the window, right where I like it. We don't speak as the waitress hands us our menus; we don't speak when she leaves; we don't speak to each other when a waiter comes to take our order. I fidget in my chair, look at my nails, hum under my breath, do whatever it takes to slow my racing heart. Riley simply looks outside the window contemplating about something I wish I knew. We finally speak when we get out food, which happened (surprisingly) because of me. "So...," I say. "How have you been?"

"I've been well," Riley says, facing me. She searches my eyes for something, despite being the one talking. "My classes are the right balance between challenging and fun, and I've had good company." She winces. "Not that you're bad company!" she says quickly. "I just mean...oh, I don't know, Maya. I could be worse, I suppose."

I nod. "The story of my life," I say softly, looking down.

I can feel her watch me carefully as she asks, "How have you been?"

"I've been well too," I say with a grin. "I can feel now; I'm not disconnected with anyone." I reach over the table for Riley's hand but stop in my movement when I realize that she may not want to touch her. I hover, not meeting her eyes, and she takes my hand. I look up, and she smiles at me reassuringly. I return it and continue, "That's why I wanted to see you. I thought I could finally be who deserved."

"Maya...you were always enough. I just felt like I wasn't."

"You? Why? You always stood by me, and I couldn't even remember how to react to your problems."

"But that's just it, Maya. You didn't seem like you cared anymore, and I thought I wasn't enough to keep your love and attention."

I bite my lip at her statement. I hurt Riley even more than I thought I did. I knew she didn't feel loved by me, but I didn't know it would damage her self-esteem. How long can a person hate herself before deciding to run away?

"I'm so sorry, Riley," I apologize sincerely. "I was just scared of how I felt, and I cut myself off from everyone to avoid the consequences without realizing those repercussions only applied to me. I was so selfish."

"I just don't understand why you were afraid of me," she whispers, so I barely hear her. But I do, and my heart breaks apart. The Best Friend Code, I would have broken it no matter what rout I took; I could have stayed with Riley, but lie to her everyday by hiding how I felt about Lucas, or I could have ran away, protecting her from my betrayal. I chose to run because my job always was to protect Riley.

I stare into her eyes, pleading for her to understand. I pray she'll know what I mean when I say, "Lucas..."

She searches my eyes for a more detailed explanation, and her face softens when she finds it. "Maya...I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't tell me that."

"I didn't want you to hate me," I admit, voice cracking at "hate."

"I could never hate you. You're my best friend. Although, I have to admit that I was more shocked that after all of this time, Lucas never told me how he felt about you until..." She seems nervous, and she plays with her fingers awkwardly.

I chuckle. "It's okay. You don't have to finish that sentence; I know."

She relaxes for a moment before stiffening again. "Can I be honest with you?"

"Always," I reply in a heartbeat.

"The more you distanced yourself from me, the more I craved Lucas' attention. So when he broke up with me, I thought I would only have halves of people I care about the most, and I blamed you. I ended our friendship because I was mat at you, and this lasted for a while before I realize how silly I was being. But by then, you were already close to Lucas again, and I thought that it was so wonderful seeing you happy again, and I didn't want to take that away from you."

My breath catches. "You noticed me?"

She gives me a sad smile. "I always watch you. I may be naive, but not when it comes to matters involving you."

I choke. All this time Riley has been watching me? I never noticed her around, but she always saw me. I'm an awful friend. I didn't care for her like I should have. I didn't fulfill my responsibility. I failed. I claimed to love her and sacrifice my wants for her, but I never noticed how she felt. My lips quivers until I burst into tears for the second time in my life.

"I'm sorry," I sputter. "I'm so sorry, Riley. I should have loved you better." My shoulders shake, and I wonder how I lost so much self-control. Riley squeezes my hand, and I realize she never moved it away. I wipe my tears away, but more keep coming.

"You were going through an internal battle," she says kindly. "I understand you just cut yourself from your emotions. Just promise you'll try not to do that anymore."

I nod. "I promise." Then I notice the insinuation behind the comment. "Does this mean we're friends again?" I ask hopefully.

She smiles and holds up her hand. "Ring power."

I grin and hold up my hand as well. "Ring power."

We start to finish our cool food, and after a few minutes of silence, Riley says, "So Lucas."

"He misses you," I say honestly.

"As much I love hearing that, I mean how's your relationship with him?"

I bite my lip. "Do you really want to hear about that?"

"Are you kidding me?" Riley exclaims. "Of course I do! He's the only one who's ever been able to get you to let yourself be happy."

"If you say so... Well, he takes me out to restaurants, but I insist on cheap places because he pays for me every time. He helps me find colors, something I thought I would never get back." Then my face brightens, and a smile splits my face. "He holds me like he's afraid of letting me go, and when he kisses me - when he kisses me - I feel overwhelmed with how much I love him and how much he loves me."

"That's so cute." Then she furrows her eyebrows as though she's confused. "What do you mean by 'helps me find colors'?"

My smile falters. "Oh, well, as I started drifting away from everyone, my world turned into black and white. It's weird, and I don't even know how it's possible, but now I can see some more colors, so it's fine. Plus I'll add to my collection soon enough."

Riley looks at me with a delighted expression and says, "I like seeing you this hopeful and happy."

I grin. "It feels great."

She laughs, and we finish our food. When we're done, we ask a waiter for a check. When he leaves, Riley lifts her eyebrows suggestively and says, "So are you guys doing it?"

I roll my eyes. "No, Riley. We are not having sex. I love him, but I don't need to have skin-to-skin contact to prove it."

She laughs. "You know I'm just teasing you," she singsongs.

I laugh too. "I know."

The waiter comes back with our check, and as I'm about to pay, Riley stops me. "I got this," she says, and I groan. "Not you too," I complain.

She giggles. "Me too."

We head to the girls' dormitory, and right before we go inside, I ask, "Do you want to have a sleepover?"

Riley grins. "That's my favorite way to end the day."

We spend the rest of the night talking about random, meaningless things that seem to be important when I'm with Riley. She paints my nails in purple, and I paint hers rainbow. (I think; if not, she doesn't seem to mind.) At one point, I find the courage and comfort to be able to say, "I've missed you, Honey."

She tucks me into her arms and says, "I've missed you too, Peaches."

When she pulls back, my world is brighter and more alive. I grin and say, "Riles?"

"Yes, Peaches?"

"Your hair is brown, your nails are orange, and your pajamas are red."

Her smile is wide and beautiful with her understanding of why I said that.

"You were always more than enough," I say.