Hi all!
Huzzah for reviews! Sorry, I haven't had much inspiration for this story in a while. Okay a few things. I'll go BDSM with Germany as Dom. I researched this, so I do not guarantee it will be 100% correct. Also, I am hearing a lot of clamoring for more Germerica. I have two in the works and one that I am still plotting out.
Rated M.
I own nothing.
OoOoOo
America knew that she was as close to a mental wreck as was possible. She felt unnerved. There were emotions of happiness, excitement, pleasure, and contentment. However, those pleasant feelings were in stark contrast to the shame, anger, embarrassment and fear she felt. It was not as easy, nor as simple, as it had always played out in her fantasies.
Actually being with Germany again had been like an addictive drug and she could feel her body wanting just a bit more of him. Or perhaps it was all merely in her mind. She wasn't certain. Yet, there was so much unsaid and unsolved between them still that it made any chance at true closure seem like a distant dream.
She had forgiven him, and it was not fury at him but at herself she felt so keenly now. Why had it taken him years? Why hadn't she raged at him to come back? To stay with her or for them to go to the allies together?
Logically, she knew that the courses of their fates had been for the best. It had to be as it was.
However, there is the painful jab of memories. Bitter nights spent alone and aching for a nation she could never have. Coupled with the moments where he'd been crazed by what the propaganda and charismatic idealizations of a power mad man had made him.
Was what she had done even morally correct? America worried her bottom lip. The sweet lingering soreness in her body prompted her to recall the sweetness in his embrace as well as the force that was Germany.
Yet, no matter if it was correct or not, she still burned for him. America still loved him. The boisterous nation still held a passion for him that had not wavered. Even after decades, the flame between them was as bright as it had ever been. Despite the circumstances that had brought them to this moment.
Was it-?
"America?" England asked in a concerned tone. His familiar accent snapped her out of her whirlwind of thoughts. Some of them helpful. Some not.
The female nation turned toward her ally, tamping down the inner thoughts so as not to express her mounting uncertainty.
"Yes?" She responded in a somewhat distracted tone. Her blue eyes slightly brighter than usual. Other nations could almost swear that she was glowing, metaphorically speaking.
"Are you feeling any better?" His green eyes trail over her face.
She smiled, a bright and happy smile. It was both sincere and fabricated.
"Yeah Dude."
"Dude..." England muttered with a touch of a scowl upon his brow. "How you butcher the wonderful language I gave you."
She laughed, truly amused by how this conversation always seemed to come up when England had nothing pressing to tease her about.
"Oh, you love it and you know it." America said with a mischievous smile. "Don't pretend you don't."
"Was any part of that proper English?"
She shook her head with a soft laughed.
"Likely not," the female nation said with a knowing look.
England huffed under his breath, but she could see by the way his posture was slightly more relaxed that she had eased whatever concern he'd been carrying. Yet, she also glimpsed the slight curve of his lips upward in amusement.
Yeah, England loved her unique nature. And, America cared for England, in all his staunch sternness.
The hairs on her neck stood up, and she became aware that Germany was watching her. Her body knew the weight of his gaze anywhere. Her blue eyes moved from England trying to hide his smile to the deep blue ones she'd looked into most of last night.
When the position allowed, of course.
Something flashed across his eyes. She felt her face flush slightly and America had to bite back a smile. Looking at the European nation made her remember the rumpled sheets on two beds. As well as the tender bruises on her arms.
All of them consensual as she allowed him to pin her arms above her head. Or the bruises on her hips that were a perfect fit to his fingers. They would be gone soon enough.
She looked back at England, her face a blaze as her mind played through their time together last night.
Oh dear.
America shifted in her seat to ease her discomfort. England was looking at her.
"Are you certain you're alright?"
"Of course." America grinned at him, fighting the blush of her face.
Past England's shoulder, she caught a glimpse of Northern Italy. Jealously reared it's head again. Her unsettled feelings were ready to swing toward anger. She was no fool. America knew that Germany and Italy had been lovers.
In fact...
A cold pit of disgust welled in her stomach. Shame flooded her chest, as America nearly closed her eyes. She had forgotten about Northern Italy. A lump formed in her throat and she tried to swallow it back. She hadn't thought to ask...
Was Germany still with Italy?
Her hands shook under the table, but she clasp them together to keep them still. Her blue eyes looked at Italy, who had noticed her and glanced back at her.
Their eyes clashed. Northern Italy gave her a smile and a slight wave. America smiled softly, hating herself for what she perceived to being the 'other' woman. Their gazes continued to hold.
She did not look away first.
"America?" England asked again.
"Hm?"
"Maybe you ought to lie down when the meeting is over." He suggested gently. "You seem distracted."
The female nation turned her full attention back toward him.
"Yeah. Maybe." America said with a breath, trying to ease her sudden surge of emotions. "But, I'm not really tired. Why don't you and I go grab some grub?"
It would at least keep her mind off the images of Germany and Italy that were flashing through her mind. It made her sick to even think about. Perhaps she was being childish, because they hadn't even been together after they parted ways.
However, America wasn't precisely known for being overly mature.
The pleasant feelings from before had vanished to the winds, and she could feel her temples throbbing. She gave England a sweet smile. America had played the fool for decades. Hiding her feeling from England while her heart felt as it were breaking again was nothing by comparison.
She feels strangely bereft of anything except turmoil again. Something she hasn't experienced since 1968.
God, the sixties had not been kind to her in the slightest.
"I'd could go for a bit of food myself," The island nation said with polite nod.
"Great! I'll let you pick the place then," she said congenially.
She swung an arm around her friend, smiling at him kindly.
"Because I'n-"
"Don't say it," England warned her with a touch of seriousness to his voice.
"Awe-"
"If you say it, he'll come out of the bloody wood work to argue with you."
Hm. Fair point.
"Fine," America conceded with a nod of her head. "I'm great like that."
"You are so modest, America. It astounds me."
"Oh hush," she laughed and pulled her arm back trying to keep her thoughts off of the worries that were mounting behind her forced smile.
"Do you feel like Italian?" England asked, without meaning to upset her.
She held back the wince, hard as it is to keep from flinching.
"No," America said, barely hesitating.
OoOoOo
Germany is waiting at the end of the hall. America had excused herself to the rest room and she could not help but wonder what he was doing out of the meeting as well.
However, lately, quite a few things had passed between them. She knows, logically, what he is likely doing in the hallway. The vague expression of irritation, the tightness around his eyes tell her a wealth of information.
America knows he is upset. However, she is hurting and furious at herself. Or him. Or both. It hardly mattered. She'd been a fool to think that all of their problems could be so easily forgotten in a haze of pleasure.
There was far more to them than just animalistic lust.
"America," Germany called out calmly.
"Sorry, Dude," the female nation replied with a disarming grin. "Can't stay. The meeting and all."
His lips thinned, as he stared at her. His body was an unmoving all of solid muscle. America drew closer, intent upon getting back to the safety of the rest of the world. She wasn't afraid of Germany, however she did not want to risk their 'dirty laundry' being aired out here of all places.
"Are you avoiding me?"
"Yes," she told him blandly, not seeing the point in denying it. She had always had trouble lying to him. Perhaps it was because she loved him, or because some part of his 1944 self was still etched upon her brain.
"Why?"
She stared forward, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of a reply, but understanding that he deserved one. It was not fair to be upset with someone without telling them 'why'. She adjusted Texas as she stopped just short of Germany.
His blue eyes were watching her intently, a hardness about them that made part of her quake in desire. America shoved the foreign feeling to the deepest recesses of her thoughts.
"Are you still with Italy?" She asked seriously, in a quiet tone that nearly had Germany straining to hear it.
Her sky blue gaze met his. Blue on blue. She wanted so desperately for him to deny being attached with the other nation. Let it be her overactive imagination. Perhaps the supposed relationship between the male nations had just been rumors. Perpetuated by the vicious gossip mill that was the U.N. meetings.
Please.
God Please.
America faced Germany with her head held high and her chin lifted slightly in defiance. There was hope shining in her eyes, a traitorous sort of vulnerability.
Silence reigned between them. Germany said nothing. HIs lack of denial ringing loudly in her ears. America gave a bitter, but soft laugh.
"Ah. Ha. God. I am such an idiot." She said with self-deprecation.
"America-"
She held her hand up as she closed her eyes.
"No. NO. You do not get to 'America', me." She swallowed, trying to push the lump of welling disappointment and crushing sadness down. She attempted to brush past him.
Germany reached for her, and she tried to shrug off his grasp. His hands are warm and unyielding.
Damn him.
Damn them both. She was such a fool. A dreamer, as England often accused her of being. She thought that Germany had felt as she had...
The sweet words he had whispered had really been sweet nothings.
"America," He said again, with a sharp edge to her name. "You will not walk off without giving me the chance to explain."
Her eyes narrowed, and she flicked her gaze back up to him.
"What could you possibly have to explain?" She hissed.
"You will not take that tone of voice with me." He stated with a calm demeanor. Something flashed behind the blue depths of his eyes.
America continued to glare at him, her anger welled inside her at his audacity to try and tell her what to do.
"I can see you're angry." Germany said calmly. "There is no need to be. We are having a discussion."
There was something about him that made her want to edge back a bit more. His grip on her loosened, and America stepped away. Her eyes lowered, though she did not quite understand why.
"I do not have time to talk right now." She informed him, still angry, but her ire was cooling. The way in which he said the words had America felling different. A bit more reserved. Normally she would have told someone to go to hell, how to get there, and several things they could do along the way.
"Why?" He asked, unmoving.
" I'm going to dinner with England." she informed him, the heat was gone from her words. "I must be getting back."
She avoided his gaze, unable to look at the eyes that sapped her resolve away.
"No."
America's head snapped up, her mouth parting in surprise.
"What?"
"You aren't going to dinner with England." Germany said commandingly.
"Why not?"
"Because I said so."
America could only look at him in stark disbelief.
His cold eyes pierced her. Hard and demanding, yet watchful at the same time.
"I think," he said slowly with some of his accent shining through his clipped tones. "That you rather enjoy it when someone else takes control."
Her chest clenched tightly.
"What on Earth are you talking about?" She asked with confusion. "That has nothing to do with dinner with England."
A smug smile tugged at his lips.
"I noticed that you don't deny it though."
Damn this bastard.
America glared at him, her blue eyes not showing their usual heat. There was wariness in her face and body. There was something shifting in the air between them and she was not certain she approved of where this was going.
He circled her like a shark.
"Is it freeing to you?" His lips ghosted over the shell of her ear.
She shivered.
"You don't have to answer," he said lowly.
His hands were on her shoulders, caressing them lightly. She relaxed at the touch, without realizing it.
"Your body is already telling me everything I need to know."
He captured her lips in a bruising kiss. Pushing her back toward the wall. Germany pulled back, his eyes glittered with a dominance in them that America had not glimpsed in many a decade.
"I think, perhaps, there are some things we need to talk about."
America stared at him, and swallowed. Her throat felt dry. She felt the urge to lash out, to rebel. And, she gave into it nearly instantly. She would not continue to be the home wrecker or the one that slept with a taken man again.
Her blue eyes clashed with his.
"Either you're with me or you're with Italy." She insisted stubbornly as she panted heavily. "That is all we really have to talk about. So choose. Right now."
Germany narrowed his gaze upon her, a thunderous look on his face.
"You do not tell me what to do," he said lowly.
Her heart thundered in her chest, the blood rushed in her ears. There was a sense of cold dread that pooled in her body.
"So..." she said with a tongue that felt as heavy as her heart. "It is Italy then?"
Germany's eyes were hard. He placed an arm on either side of America, effectively trapping her against the wall.
"I will speak with him at lunch. I will end things with him then."
Her eyes widened and she blinked up a Germany with an expression that bordered on pained disbelief.
"You will?"
"Ja." He said forcefully. "You will wait for me in your hotel room. Do you understand?"
America could only tremble as a part of her took hold and nodded quickly.