Shinji Ikari sat in a room filled with smoke and strangers, a half-filled beer bottle in his hands. The conversations of times long past filled the air, most reminiscing on people they'd loved who didn't return, some mourned the loss of favorite celebrities or other trivial things. Shinji didn't speak, he never did anymore. He sat and took in the conversations until, slowly, the room began to empty. After a half hour he was alone, alone with his own thoughts. The exact place he didn't want to be, at least he could distract himself with others' worries. But now he was alone, forced to face his own demons. Well, one in particular. A smell hit his nose, one that was very familiar to him.

Asuka? He lifted his head groggily and looked around, not finding any sign of the redheaded German. He looked down at his beer, lifting it to take another drink. "My only friend," he said as the cold plastic met his lips. The smell didn't go away and Shinji let himself drift away into memories.

"Shinji! Let's go! You're way too slow, we were supposed to be there by now!" Asuka yelled at him, stomping her foot impatiently.

He smiled at her and she tried to continue to look angry at him. "Eh, they'll wait. They don't have an event if we don't show up, after all. Besides, we could just disappear and it'd break their hearts, but we'd be together and unbothered."

Asuka smiled at him, a tired smile. "I told you, we can't. I would love to, believe me. I've spent enough time in the limelight of saving the world, but I'm ready for a quiet life now." She shook herself a little and looked Shinji over, making sure he was ready. "But, that wasn't the hand we were dealt. So, let's make the most with what we're dealt, huh?" She grabbed his hand and led him towards the waiting car.

The drive was made in companionable silence, both adults spending the time rehearsing their speeches in their heads. Shinji was uncomfortable with the whole thing, he didn't feel like he deserved to be congratulated for ending the world. If anything, he thought he should be arrested for mass genocide. But, the government thought differently and Asuka had convinced him to be there for her. Getting dragged into a speech had been Misato's idea, and Shinji held that one thing against her. The thoughts were interrupted by their arrival at the event center: The Ikari Event Center, named in honor of both Shinji's and Yui's accomplishments. The couple approached, taking in the enormity of the event center.

"Well, I guess we've got to go in. After all, the building is named after you," Asuka teased beside him.

"Yeah, I guess," Shinji whispered. He swallowed hard and started to walk forward. He was stopped by Asuka.

"Look, I know you're nervous, but try to relax a little, okay? No one is judging you for what you did… Well, they are. But they've determined that it was a good thing. The world, Misato, Toji, Hikari, they all know you saved the world. I know it, Shinji." She smiled reassuringly at him and he felt some of the nervousness ease. He smiled back and nodded.

The two former pilots walked into the center, hand in hand.

The beer was empty now and Shinji threw it across the room. He scrounged around for another one and soon found it. He looked around the room a little, it was a mess. Bottles were thrown everyone, crushed-out cigarettes littered the floor, the furniture had all been moved out so as not to get damaged. All-in-all, this room was disgusting.

Asuka would never approve of this.

Asuka's gone, idiot. Why should you care about what she thinks?

Shinji sat for a moment. Fair enough. He took a drink of his new beer. He rose to his feet and walked out of the room, into his apartment's kitchen. He decided that he should make something to eat, even if he wasn't hungry.

The miso soup did not taste good at all, but it allowed him to regain some strength. He didn't know how long it had been since he had eaten. Probably twelve or so hours. Half of the soup remained and he started to finish it when he was cast into the past again.

"…so we thank the heroes of NERV who saved the world. Foremost among them, Commander Misato Katsuragi, Pilot Asuka Langley Soryu, and Pilot Shinji Ikari." The Japanese prime minister finished his speech and led the auditorium in applause for the three stated figures on stage. Shinji felt more uncomfortable than before and was glad when they could get off the stage.

"That wasn't too bad, was it?" Misato asked as soon as they went behind the curtain. She looked at her two former charges.

Asuka sighed, "Thank God It's over."

"Yeah," Shinji agreed.

"So~." A sing-song tone had risen in Misato's voice. "How are things with you two?~"

Shinji blushed and looked away, leaving Asuka to fend for herself. She stumbled over her words for a few moments before the trio were interrupted by news reporters. All asking what it was like to be the saviors of humanity and if NERV was responsible for the Third Impact in the first place. Not receiving a response they liked, they changed to more personal questions. One young man asked if Misato was single, to which she blushed and said she was too busy. Then one young woman asked if Shinji and Asuka were together. That didn't seem to set with Asuka, as she promptly refused anymore questions and walked to the car. Shinji followed, also refusing to answer anything further.

The two got to their car, thankfully parked in a restricted VIP area where the press weren't allowed. Asuka still looked upset and Shinji kept casting questioning looks her way, hoping she'd speak up. As they reached the car, she did.

"Shinji, what are we?"

"Huh?" Is she choosing now to ask me that? "We-well, we're two pilots who saved the world."

Asuka pinned him with a glare. "Is that all we are?"

Shinji was now more nervous than he had been on stage, he licked his lips. "Well, we're roommates and friends-"

"Oh, that's what you think." Asuka cut him off, her head lowering. "I'm not… anything more to you?"

Shinji's heart was beating fast and his head started to spin. She is doing this now. I thought I proved how much she means to me.

But did you ever say it, idiot?

No.

And why is that?

Because I'm nervous about it.

Is that really why?

I'm scared. I want to run away from her, but I know I can't. Not again.

Good. Now, tell her before she runs away from you.

"You mean a lot… to me." Dammit Shinji.

"Oh." Asuka got in the car gloomily after that. Shinji followed suit, hoping to get home as soon as possible.

The drive home was contrasted against the drive to the center: one spent in companionable silence, the other in an awkward aura that clung to the air. Shinji was distracted by the night's conversation and sped through more than a few stop signs. Asuka didn't seem to care, she just stared out the window, watching the scenery and never saying a word. It made Shinji uncomfortable.

Say something, idiot. It's obviously what she wants.

"So," Shinji's voice was shaky and he cursed himself for it. "Do you think we could get away with skipping the other ceremonies?"

Asuka finally looked toward him. "Idiot. No, we have to attend those, if for no other reason than what else are we doing?" Shinji blinked and nodded to that.

What are we doing?

"What are we?" Asuka's question haunted Shinji once more. Dammit. What are we? Do I have the strength to admit it?

You have to, idiot. If not for yourself, than for her.

"Asuka-" Shinji started. He didn't get any further before he blew past another stop sign. This time, he wasn't lucky; the car was struck by a truck on the passenger side. The impact jostled the two occupants and caused the car to tip onto its side. The entire door on the passenger's side caved in on top of Asuka and Shinji hit his head against the driver's door, which was now parallel with the ground. The car tipped back onto its wheels, once again shaking the two inside. Shinji was mostly unharmed, thankfully. He looked over to Asuka and caught his breath.

The door was pinning her to the seat, and she had blood all over her. She seemed to be unconscious, or dead. Her entire left side looked bad, how bad Shinji couldn't tell. Shards of glass scattered around her, the metal and glass together had seemed to cut her a lot. Shinji was freaking out and he forced his door open. He quickly went around to the other side and tried to open Asuka's door. It didn't budge but he got a good look at her: Her arm was definitely broken, probably her leg too. Her left side seemed to be crumpled up, like an aluminum can. The blood was running fresh again but he could see her chest rising and falling slightly.

She's alive, thank God. Sirens cut through his mind and he was surrounded by police and an ambulance shortly. The paramedics took a look at him while the police cut the door off the car. The truck was a new automated one so there wasn't a driver. Shinji's door was cut and the paramedics now pulled Asuka out of the car. She murmured and groaned at being moved, seemingly beginning to regain consciousness.

"Shinji…" He heard her mutter. Her eyes opened suddenly, and she looked around. She saw him standing next to the ambulance and tried to move. She couldn't and she cried out in pain. Shinji rushed over to her immediately, ignoring the paramedics trying to get him to stay away. Asuka was reaching out to him when he got close enough and he grasped her hand.

"Idiot…"

"Shh. Don't talk."

"No, you never… you never answered my question."

"What?"

"What…" a shaky, painful breath was taken. "What are we, idiot?"

Tears filled his eyes, but he wasn't sure if they were tears of relief or fear. "We're… we're two people who will never say goodbye. I promise you that." Even now, you're too scared to say it.

Asuka laid her head against the stretcher. "Even now, you won't admit it… Fine… But remember, you're mine…" She thought for a moment. "I guess that was pretty good, Shinji. Never say goodbye. You'll have to keep that promise."

"Of course, Asuka. I'll never say goodbye. We'll be together forever." That was all Shinji could promise until he knew Asuka would be better. He would say the rest then.

The miso soup was gone and another bottle of beer had replaced it. Shinji drank from it, setting it down and looking at the clock.

"It's too late for this," he muttered. A thought hit him. "Never say goodbye… That's a good promise. Hold on and try to never say goodbye… Hm. I should write that down."