Cinderjuice
A Beetlejuice fanfic by Lady Norbert
Author's Notes: Normally I am a huge fan of happy endings. In this particular story, I've created a happy beginning.
Remember when Beetlejuice signed the contract because he figured "What's the worst that could happen?" You'd think he would have learned to never ask that question... This is where the story starts to really break away from the Cinderella mythos, although the problem does still involve shoes.
What happens on the porch was heavily green-lighted by my beta reader Kourie during spitball sessions (and by that I mean her exact response was "dfjhgjkdfhgd YES"). Beetlejuice slightly misquotes Hades from Disney's Hercules, just because the line fit too well not to use. Enjoy the cute fluffy opening, because it's all downhill from here.
Chapter Six: I Said 'If'
BJ was feeling pretty pleased with himself. After saying goodnight to Lydia's friends, they'd left the prom and taken Doomie for a cruise around Peaceful Pines, rehashing the evening and laughing all over again about the tango.
By the time they returned to the Deetz residence, there was only about an hour remaining of the ten. They walked up to the porch, and he stood on the step below her so they were approximately eye to eye. "I've said it before, and I'll say it again," Lydia remarked. "You know how to show a girl a good time."
"You know me, Babes. I'm the life of the party!"
She smiled. "My friends thought you were pretty great. They really got a kick out of your stories about us." Glancing at the rose he'd held in his teeth, she added, "Although I'm curious to find out what they thought about that performance."
"Let me know. Maybe we can do an encore at graduation."
She chuckled. A sudden rustling sound caught her attention, however, and her eyes darted sideways. "Look at the window very carefully," she said in a quiet voice. "Are my parents watching us?"
Snorting, he glanced quickly at where the curtains were moving none too discreetly. "Oh yeah. Chuckles is probably climbing the walls."
"We should give them something to look at, then," she remarked. There was a mischievous glint in her eyes; he didn't see it often, but it always promised something good.
"What'd you have in mind?"
"Hold still."
She brought one gloved hand to his face. He wanted to ask what she meant, what she was doing, what she was thinking. Her mouth was on his before he could voice a single question, wiping his mind blank. Lydia was kissing him - actually, seriously, and possibly rather enthusiastically kissing him. Vaguely he registered a strangled yelp from inside the house, and he knew it was the greatest prank anyone would ever play on old Charles, but he was a little too distracted to care.
She pulled back after a moment, smirking. "So much for having an audience."
"Heh. Yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck.
"You'd better go, though... I'll wait til you're around the corner to send you both back." She smiled. "Thanks for everything, BJ."
"Anything for you, Babes."
He wasn't exactly thrilled to find Jacques and Ginger waiting impatiently at the Roadhouse when he returned, although he was in too good a mood to complain. "How was it? How was it?" Ginger begged.
"Ah, it was okay. We danced, we schmoozed, we carried on, we went home. Know what I mean?"
"I 'ope Lydia brings pictures for us to see," said Jacques.
"Yeah, she probably will." BJ glanced at the clock. Meanwhile, I gotta get these shoes back to the old Fairy Godfather before I forget." He sat down to take them off.
"Wait a second." Ginger hopped up on the couch and peered at him closely. "You weren't wearing lipstick when you left, Beetlejuice!"
"Huh?" Feigning ignorance, he wiped his mouth with his hand and looked at the smear of color. "Well - huh - how'd that get there?" He chuckled shakily. "Anyway! Look at the time. Let's get me back to, y'know, me."
Ginger looked like she wanted very much to question him, but she and Jacques settled for exchanging uncomfortably smug looks. He tried his best to ignore them, focusing all his attention on removing the fancy dress shoes. They wouldn't budge. "Yo, bonehead, gimme a hand."
He glanced up as Jacques calmly detached one of his arms and held it out with the other. "Very funny. These shoes are stuck - I guess my feet are swollen or something. Help me get them off."
"Quelle strange," Jacques noted, putting his arm back where it belonged. "Let me see 'ere... non, zey will not budge!"
"Well, that can't be good..."
Sixteen attempts and three hours later, Beetlejuice - still in his BJ form - stood before the Fairy Godfather, laughing nervously and tugging at his collar. The suit had long since become rumpled, the tie loosened to the point where it almost fell off, and yet the shoes were refusing to budge and still gleamed as though they'd been freshly polished.
"And so y'see, Your Godfathership, I came back in time and everything, but I just can't get the shoes off. Since I don't have access to my magic, I thought maybe you could help me out so I can go back to being my old self again."
"Help you out?" the Godfather repeated. "Oh, I'm afraid that's not possible."
"...what."
"You see..." He snapped his fingers, and the contract unrolled itself in midair. "It very clearly states in paragraph sixteen, clause B, line three, that in exchange for the shoes, you were to have surrendered your powers - your juice, as you call it - in their entirety."
"Well, yeah... I did, didn't I?"
"That's just it. No, you did not." The Godfather steepled his fingers. "Your incredulity suggests that this is news to you."
"Of course it's news to me!"
"Where else could your juice reside, then? How could any of it be beyond your control?"
"I have no idea."
"The fact is, Beetlejuice, you entered this contract knowingly and willingly. You signed it of your own free will, thereby committing yourself to the fulfillment of its terms. And now you come into my house and inform me that, for reasons beyond your control, you are unable, or unwilling, to complete your portion of the agreement."
"I gave up my powers like I promised! I don't know what you want from me!" he protested. "Can't you just take back these shoes and be done with it?"
"No. Until you have completely fulfilled your terms of the agreement, I cannot fulfill mine. The requirements are very clearly outlined; there is your signature to indicate that you read it and agreed to everything."
"Who actually reads a Terms of Service Agreement?"
The Fairy Godfather picked up a small golden bell from his desk, and rang one perfect chime. The suits who normally stood at attention outside immediately entered. "Sonny... Fredo... this gentleman is leaving the premises," he said. "See to it that he's made very comfortable on his way out. To answer your question, Beetlejuice," he added, "I am making you another offer I suggest that you do not refuse: go. You have lived like a fool, and now you have come to a fool's end. And if you leave quietly, I will not bother you again."
"I'm just supposed to walk away and let you keep what's mine!?"
"You're a human now. It appears to be a permanent condition, unless you can find and deliver that last remaining portion of your juice. Do that, and our contract will be complete. Otherwise, keep your distance." He made a slight gesture, and the suits seized BJ by his arms. "We're done here. See him out."
"No!" BJ struggled as they dragged him outside. Doomie, alarmed by the sight of his 'father' restrained in such a manner, flashed his headlights and honked his horn in warning, but the suits ignored him; they dropped their captive unceremoniously into the driver's seat, and returned to their posts by the castle gates.
"Ugh... Doomie, help me out..."
The door opened, and BJ tumbled out onto the ground. Picking himself up with a grunt, he started to approach the suits again. They immediately grabbed their violin cases and, with invisible hands, opened them to extract rifles.
At once, BJ was suddenly extremely aware of two things. One, he was outnumbered, unarmed, and powerless. Two, he was mortal and they could kill him. A strong sense of self-preservation rapidly outweighed his anger, and he dove for the car's protection. As he did, he heard himself screaming, just as he always did when something went wrong.
"LYDIA!"