Cinderjuice

A Beetlejuice fan fiction by Lady Norbert

Author's Note: I admit, I've been looking forward to the cameo in this chapter. I also admit that I don't exactly know why.

Chapter Nine: Old Killjoy

BJ had been in a pretty foul mood ever since leaving the prince's hall, and all things considered, he thought his reasons were good ones. He wasn't mad at Lydia, but he needed to put a little space between them, so he was avoiding her questions as much as possible. The interruption from the mayor's pet worm had therefore been a welcome diversion.

When the voice outside had started shouting for him, though, he decided that the whole fiasco had officially gone from bad to worse.

"I know that voice!" she said, hurrying to the window before he could stop her.

"So do I," he grumbled. "We'd better get down there before he lets the whole Neitherworld know where we are."

Reluctantly, he followed her downstairs and out to the street, where they were confronted with the wide, beaming, utterly ridiculous smile of his younger brother Donny. "Beetlejuice! Lydia! Oh, it's so good to see you both! Are you all right? Don't worry, brother, I'm here for you!"

"Hi, Donny," Lydia said warmly, accepting his hug. BJ scowled but said nothing. "When we heard there was someone here looking for Beetlejuice, we got a little worried - how in the world did you find us, anyway?"

"Yeah, and can you maybe lose us again?" BJ muttered.

"Oh, I was sent by Prince Vince," Donny explained cheerfully. "You see, after you two left his place yesterday, he realized that he'd better get in touch with me and let me know what was going on. The Fairy Godfather's not someone to cross, after all, and the prince thought it would be a good idea to warn your family, since he might decide to target those closest to you."

"Great. Just what I needed." He sighed. "Well, in that case, shouldn't you be, I don't know, protecting our parents or something?"

"Already done, brother!" Donny looked entirely too pleased with himself. "I've sent them off to the Resort of Last Resort, to stay with Uncle Sid and Aunt Irma for a while. They'll be very safe there - everybody knows you won't go near that place, so no one will look for you."

"That was a good idea," Lydia noted. "But what about you?"

"The prince said that the latest update indicated you were coming out this way, so I took a chance on joining you here. I want to help! We brothers need to stick together!" BJ waited, arms crossed and foot tapping, while Donny took a good long look at him. The enormity of the mess seemed to fully register with him for the first time. "When the prince told me what had happened to you... I almost didn't believe it," he admitted. "But even if you're stuck being human, I want you to know that you're still my brother."

"Thanks. I think."

Lydia, glancing around, interrupted the exchange. "We should get out of the street," she said. "All three of us are a little distinctive, and we don't really know who we can trust."

They trooped back up to the room, ignoring the puzzled looks of Miss Kitty and her other customers, and Donny unrolled a map and spread it on the little table. "Prince Vince sent this with me. He's marked all the known locations where the Fairy Godfather could have stashed your juice, but he wanted me to warn you again that the more you go after him, the more he's going to come after you."

BJ folded his arms and leaned against the wall, gazing disinterestedly at the map. "Hey, wait a second," he said suddenly. "Why's the Fairy Godfather want to keep my juice anyway? I remember - the contract specifically said he gets 'guardianship' of it, but that doesn't let him use it. So what good's it doing him that he won't give it back?"

Donny and Lydia exchanged puzzled glances. "It can't be doing him any good at all," she said thoughtfully, "if he can't use it. So then the only reason he would want it would be to keep you from having it - but why?"

"A favor to someone else?" Donny guessed. "Do you have many enemies, brother of mine?"

"No! I mean, well, you know, a few here and there... I may have pranked the wrong person once or twice..."

"You were voted Most Hated Guy in the Neitherworld," Lydia reminded him. "In perpetuity."

"Whose side are you on?" he retorted, but he couldn't muster any genuine venom - not for her. "Anyway, I guess there's some losers out there who might find it useful for me to not have my juice."

"Like Scuzzo," Lydia recalled.

"Or Jesse Germs. Or" - he shuddered - "Little Miss Warden."

"Or Mayor Maynot."

"Face it, Lyds, we'll be at this all day."

"So the point is," she said, "we need to find out who else the Fairy Godfather could have contracted with to steal your juice. If that's what happened, then we can bring him up on charges - the prince said he always operates within the letter of the law, but if he arranged two contradictory contracts, that should technically negate them both."

"As long as I can get my magic back, I can definitely shut him down," BJ assured her. "The only question is whether there'll be anything left of him once I'm through."

"It sounds like we've found a starting point, then," said Donny cheerfully. "I can check back in with the prince and see if he's learned anything new in the meantime."

Lydia rubbed her eyes. "You should at least stay with us til morning, Donny," she remarked tiredly. "BJ, maybe we should let him take Doomie when he goes."

"And then what? You and I walk across the whole Neitherworld?"

"I guess not... I just worry about him. Doomie, I mean."

He pointed at the bed. "I don't wanna sound sappy or anything, but you kinda look like I feel, Lyds. Get a little sleep, okay? Donny and I'll keep an eye on things."

It didn't take her long to fall asleep, after which Donny seemed to think he could speak a bit more freely. "You can't fool me, Beetlejuice. I know you're worried."

"You say that like I shouldn't be. Someone out there might have cooked all this up just to kill me. And it's not like I don't want to be dead again, but I want it on my terms, not theirs!"

"That's not what I mean, brother. The prince told me how the Fairy Godfather operates; why do you think I sent Mother and Dad away?"

"Yeah, uh, good call there. Better to be safe than sorry. Of course, I'm such a black sheep that he'd probably leave them alone."

"What about your friends?"

"Jacques and Ging'll be fine. The Monster Across the Street doesn't put up with crap from anybody except me; he'll keep an eye on them. Worst thing I expect to happen there is that they clean my house while I'm away." He made a face.

"Anyone else?" Donny asked.

"Well, you're hanging out with Prince Vince these days, so the Godfather'll probably decide you're untouchable. Even he's not gonna mess with the prince. That's really it."

They fell silent for a moment, and BJ was just about to relax when Donny started talking again. "I don't mean to ask rude questions," he said. "I'm not trying to tell you what to do, brother. I just want to help. But I have to ask... why is Lydia here? Wouldn't she be safer at home?"

"Of course she would. You think I brought her here?"

"Didn't you?"

"No! She did that herself. I guess she tapped into whatever part of my juice the Fairy Godfather doesn't have in his possession, and it got her here, or something like that. All I can tell you for sure is that it wasn't my idea." He looked over at the sleeping figure on the bed. "And I don't have the power to send her home, even if I could convince her to go. The prince offered to try to find a way to do it, but she's stubborn. So I gotta fix this as much for her as for me."

Donny went quiet again, and to BJ's surprise, it was somehow even worse than hearing him talk.