The Fall of Professor Arc
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Disclaimer and Dedication:
Dedicated to Coeur. Thanks for the stories, and the countless ideas. You've only yourself to blame, you know!
Disclaimer: I don't own RWBY. 'Professor Arc' in particular is the brainchild of Coeur. If you haven't read it already... why are you here?
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"Do you think Professor Arc would come back if I gave Jaune a big enough concussion?" Yang mused in the privacy of the Team RWBY dorm room.
"Yang!"
"No!"
Which obviously meant it wasn't very private at all, with her own partner and sister both look at her in horror.
"What?" she defended herself. "A knock on the head did this, right? So maybe a knock to the head could undo this," she reasoned. "Knock his mental barriers right out."
"I don't think healing works by compounding ills," Blake cautioned.
"Yeah!" Ruby exclaimed. "Why would you want to hurt Jaune anyway, Yang?" she demanded.
"Because he hurts me," Yang claimed, a mix of melodrama and sorrow. "It hurts to see him like this."
Ruby pouted. "I don't see what you're complaining about," she grouched. "He really likes you."
This time Yang really did wince- as much at the memory of recent flirtations than her little sis's displeasure.
"He is rather smitten. I thought you'd enjoy wrapping him around your finger," Blake added.
"Yeah- Professor Arc," Yang clarified. "Because he played the game. Not his embarrassing double who's all but falling over himself with cheesy pickup lines." She winced again. "Whoever taught him how to talk to women at Vacuo has my thanks, and my sympathy."
"I don't see what's so bad," Ruby protested, hugging her pillow tightly to her chest. "He's still Jaune inside. He's still fun to be around."
"You just say that because he still dotes on you and doesn't flirt," Yang scowled. It was true, though… when he wasn't flirting. He wasn't cool, but he was easy going and friendly enough. "I liked Professor Arc better," she admitted.
"I don't know," Blake hedged. "I think it's like another side of his personality we're getting to know for the first time. It's still him, though- haven't you seen caught those moments where you recognize him? See what he could- will- be?"
Yang remembered the phone call, and the kiss when she'd been caught up in the moment, and flushed a bit. "Yeah," she admitted. She didn't regret it- even if it had solidified his interest in her. She just wanted him to hurry up and grow cool again.
"Yeah!" Ruby echoed cheerfully, not knowing about that particular scene. "Besides, haven't you ever wondered what he was like when he was our age?" she asked. "What he was like before he grew up into a super-cool Huntsman teacher?" she gushed.
Yang had, but would have been gladder if she'd never known. "I'm just saying, he's killing my image of the Prof," she said. "I wish he'd just gets schooled and go back to being cool and kickass already. Then maybe I'd go along with it. Until then, I wish he'd stop," she trailed off, trying not to sound disgusted by the horrible flirtations. What made it worse was that she knew he could do so much better!
Instead of standing up for her crush, Ruby was silent for a moment- a silly expression that she probably thought was sly crossing her face as she reached out and patted Yang's hand comfortingly.
"Don't worry, Yang," Ruby assured with false sweetness. "I'll school Jaune for you," she promised.
"Oh?" Yang asked, as much bemused as anything else as she traded raised eyebrows with Ruby.
Ruby barely hid her fantasizing as she explained. "Oh, sure," she said easily. "I already have idea for training together," she admitted. "I'll be happy to help him make up for lost time as a student- studying, sparring, socializing- he could be like the fifth member of Team RWBY! And in four years, when he's cool and ready to graduate and be a professor again…" she smiled sweetly at Yang. "You won't mind if he's moved on and found someone else by then, will you Yang?" she asked in her most charming tone. "Someone who was there for him the whole time?"
"Someone like you?" Blake filled in, Ruby's crush being such old news that the younger girl didn't bother to deny. "How… selfless, Ruby," she said dryly. "I'm sure no one else has the same idea," she said, thinking back to the latest meeting of the Professor Arc fan club.
"Exactly!" Ruby exclaimed, not picking up the irony. "I'll build my special place from the ground up."
Yang gave her sister a fond, but playfully challenging, stare. "I dunno, Ruby," she played. "Do you think that's enough of a head start? Even with four years you might not grow up to be pretty enough to give me a run for my money," she taunted.
Ruby bristled… cutely. "I'll be pretty! Just you wait, Yang- one day I'll out-beauty you! Jaune already says I'm cute," she boasted.
Yang laughed at the adorably precocious girl. "You are cute, Ruby," she admitted, rubbing her sister on the head, "but I'm sexy. Think you can beat that in four years?" she taunted.
Ruby made to lunge at her sister, childish tantrum and silliness personified. "I'm going to beat you, Yang!" she swore. "I'm going to so beautiful his head will spin and you'll be jealous!" she vowed before jumping.
"Ooh, tempting!" Yang laughed as she wrestled with Ruby. From aside and above, Blake just watched, and smiled, and laughed.
That last got Yang's attention as she forced Ruby into a headlock. "What about you, Blake?" Yang asked. "No designs on our dear professor?" she asked, and Ruby stilled as she waited for the answer as well. "You're still doing the d-" there was an elbow from Ruby- "detention with him every week, aren't you?"
Blake closed her eyes and shut the book she'd been reading. "It's not like that," she denied maturely. "It's still punishment from the docks, it's just reversed. Instead of me being counselled, I'm supposed to help him adjust to being a student. And help him through his repressed memories of Vacuo," she explained.
Yang blinked, and so did Ruby. "What do you know about repressed memories?" they asked.
"Not a thing- which is why I'm reading up on psychology," she said, showing what she had been reading.
"Formative Behavioural Psychology, Pavlov, and You?" Ruby struggled to read from a distance.
"It's a long reading list," Blake shrugged.
Yang gave Blake a disappointed expression, and then a leer as something occurred to her.
"Oh, Blake, you should try my favorite one," Yang joked. "Maybe you've heard of it- 'Sexual Healing'?" she asked with wagging eyebrows even as Ruby blushed.
"Not my style," Blake denied, opening it back up again, "but I'll let Jaune know you were interested in offering," she said, just so that she could hear Yang's gag and frantic begging for mercy and forgiveness.
"So… you're not interested?" Ruby asked as Yang was wiping her mouth and mind of horrific pickup line scenarios. "In Jaune, I mean?" she clarified.
"Not interested at all," Blake claimed, smiling encouragingly at her team leader. "There's enough competition over him already between you and Yang and who knows who else. Not something I need to get involved in," she explained. "Besides, having lost his memories I bet he'd appreciate someone who just wanted to be a friend," she reasoned.
"I want to be his friend," Ruby protested.
"Just a friend," Blake emphasized elegantly, but gave Ruby an encouraging smile all the same.
"Wow, Blake," Ruby marveled. "I hope I can be as mature as you when I grow up. Do you think Jaune would like me more if I were more like you?" she asked.
Blake was flattered, but Yang was not. The blonde girl had an irate expression on her face, probably jealous that her sister's envy wasn't in her direction. "Hold up, sister," she declared. "Who do you think you're fooling, Blake? 'Not interested at all?'" she doubted.
Blake sighed. "Not everything comes to sex, Yang," she deigned to explain. "Just because a man and a women are close and spend late evening hours alone together doesn't mean-"
Yang reached out a hand, stuck it under the sheets of Blake's bed, and pulled a book from her not-so-secret porn stash. Ignoring Blake's horror and frantic head-shaking, Yang simply read the summary.
"Pirates of Porn XXX- Do You Remember Our Love? After stopping the Merciless Mistress, our heroine faces an erotic new threat when Rock-sensei is found alive but in bad company, having forgotten his past. Can Kunoichi Kitty remind him of the bonds they once shared, and tear him away from the claws of the Pussy Cat Pirates?"
Blake looked horrified. Ruby looked betrayed. Yang just looked smug. "Gee, I wonder who that could sound like," asked rhetorically. "'No interest at all', hm?"
Blake's ears flatted. "Maybe just a little interested?" she offered apologetically.
Ruby looked at her without mercy- though her fury was more adorable than intimidating. Gone was the adoration and emulation, though.
"I'm not going to lose to you, Blake," Ruby warned, looking all as determined as an almost-sixteen girl could.
Right. Here she was- getting dragged into a love rivalry with half her team, including a girl two years her younger. Just what she (hadn't) wanted.
At least her missing teammate was above such nonsense, right? This might be the first time she said it, but thank heavens for the serious Schnees.
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Author Note: