Cinderjuice

A Beetlejuice fanfic by Lady Norbert

Author's Notes: We'll leave those two alone for a bit and check in with a couple other points of view. I'm starting to suspect that I may have lost control of the story at this point.

Chapter Twelve: Scream, Sweet Frighteningale

"So what you are telling me," said the Fairy Godfather, "is that Beetlejuice - and his entourage - escaped, and have now fled to parts currently unknown."

There was some nervous shuffling. "Yes, Godfather," admitted Sonny. "We... we let you down."

He tutted, waving off the apology. "Your attempt was laudable. Your loyalty is without question. That, of course, is what matters most to me. The question is, now, whether I should continue to pursue this so-called Ghost with the Most."

"The girl said they were trying to find the last bit of juice, so they could fulfill the contract," said Fredo.

"And perhaps they are. There is no one in the Neitherworld who would call Beetlejuice an honorable ghoul," the Godfather mused. "But the human is another story. If she was the one who said so, there may be truth to it."

"Does this mean you don't want us to track them down?"

"Not at present. It will be easy enough to observe their movements from a distance. If they take no overt actions to challenge me, then we will leave them alone as I promised." He sat back in his chair, looking thoughtful. "What puzzles me is the quarry."

"Godfather?"

"They're chasing the last bit of juice. I don't think they've realized just where that trail is going to lead them." He shook his head. "The search won't harm them, but it does raise the question of what they'll do once they solve the mystery."

"Couldn't you find the juice yourself, Godfather?" Fredo wondered. "Then you'd have all of it. Beetlejuice wouldn't even know."

"That would be dishonest. But more to the point, I already know where the juice is. Finding it is not the difficulty, you see. Taking it is the true problem."

"I don't understand," said Sonny. "If you know where it is, how come Beetlejuice says he doesn't?"

"I suspect he is genuinely unaware of the situation. It will be interesting to see, therefore, what he does with the knowledge once he uncovers it." The Godfather stroked his chin.

Meanwhile, at Prince Vince's castle...

"It sounds as though you left Tombstone in the nick of time to miss a minor disaster," Prince Vince noted to Donny, as he finished reading the latest update on Tumblr. "But they're safe enough for the moment."

"I think we finally talked Beetlejuice into not going after the Fairy Godfather. He's going to try to find the lost juice instead," Donny reported. "More than anything, I'm concerned about them finding enough that they can eat. The living just aren't able to process a lot of our food."

"I know. I've put in an order for a few more items for them, but the shipping fees from the Outerworld can be quite exorbitant. I couldn't have them sent very fast." The prince drummed his fingers on the arm of his throne, thinking. "Did they say where they were going to try next?"

"Not really. They were trying to guess - as you probably read - who might be behind the Fairy Godfather's determination to hold onto the juice."

"Do you suppose he is in league with someone?" Prince Vince wondered. "Your brother is an excellent fellow in his own peculiar way, but he has more enemies than anyone I've ever known."

"The list was pretty exhaustive, I must say," Donny admitted. "I don't think they even got very far with it before they gave up trying to name them all."

"Let's think about this. Of all those who dislike him, who would have the most to gain from Beetlejuice being unable to access his magic?"

They both lapsed into silence, considering the matter. After a few minutes, Prince Vince clapped a hand to his forehead, wincing. "Oh, my word. It's so obvious..."

"It is?" Donny looked confused.

"Of all the people in the Neitherworld, who is the one who could potentially derive the most benefit from Beetlejuice being rendered powerless, on the run with the one person he values above all others, and taking part in theoretically comedic adventures, dangerous subplots, and possibly romantic situations?"

"...well, I'll be a monkey's uncle. When you put it that way, you're right - it is obvious."

Yet another transition dissolve, this time to the Neitherworld Network Studio...

"Ahahaha! Come on, Your Highness!" Mr. Monitor's four odious heads chortled, beaming disingenuously at the Prince of the Neitherworld. "You have to admit this is my most brilliant idea ever!"

"I'm sure your ratings are doing very well, but -"

"That's the understatement of the year!" The television executive gestured to the assorted measuring devices against one wall. "Ever since I found out about Beetlejuice's ploy to attend the Outerworld prom, they've been positively skyrocketing!"

"...really?"

"They put the numbers from the Neitherworld's Least Wanted episode to shame! So many people wanted to see him completely obliterated, but this? This is even better!"

"I don't understand," said Donny. "Why would anyone - let alone everyone - be interested in my brother's predicament?"

"Loath as I am to admit it, Beetlejuice has some kind of indefinable appeal to the audience," Monitor allowed. "I have no idea why, but our viewers are genuinely invested in this whole storyline!"

Prince Vince and Donny exchanged incredulous glances. "So the Fairy Godfather is holding his juice hostage for your ratings? Was that in the contract?"

"Oh, goodness, no. This came later. The Fairy Godfather is just sticking to his self-imposed rules like he always does," Monitor explained. "He's aware that we're using it for the show, but he's not actively involved in the program. You might say he's just... tolerating it."

"And the people are really watching this? They're enjoying it?" asked the prince, dubiously.

"See for yourself! Practically every household in the Neitherworld is glued to the tube!" They walked past an impressive array of data recording devices. "This escapade has something for everyone. Will they find the juice? Will they be attacked? Will Beetlejuice ever return to his usual disgusting self? Will he finally break down and admit his feelings?" He laughed, rubbing his hands together. "It's ingenious!"

"You know about that? His feelings, I mean?"

"I think the only one in the Neitherworld who doesn't know at this point must be Beetlejuice himself. I had no idea so many viewers were rooting for this pairing! You should have seen the feedback when he called her his girlfriend during that last segment in Tombstone! I'm just sorry we couldn't televise whatever happened in the Outerworld - unfortunately, our camera cables don't stretch that far."

"This doesn't seem entirely fair to Beetlejuice and Lydia, though," Donny objected. "They don't even know they're being televised."

"Oh, please. Your brother's been one of our star attractions for years. He just sometimes forgets he's on television."

"Would you excuse us for a moment?"

The prince and Donny stepped away from Mr. Monitor, both perplexed. "I must say," said Prince Vince, "I came here with the intention of pulling the plug on Monitor's scheme, so to speak. But if it's making so many of my people happy... I'm not sure I can do that in good conscience."

"I know what you mean. I hate to think they're going through all this just for a good show, but... well, frankly, I'm a shipper on deck myself, as the saying goes."

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt to leave them to their own devices for a few more days. We know they're not in any danger, and if we find out they are, then we can call off the whole thing. Does that sound reasonable to you?"

"I've certainly heard worse plans," said Donny with a chuckle. "After all, the course of true love never did run smooth. And in Beetlejuice's case, it runs more like a hamster wheel."