Cinderjuice

A Beetlejuice fanfic by Lady Norbert

Author's Notes: Of course Lydia's not quite foolish enough to accept the whole thing at face value, but she was in shock. And by the time she figured out the truth, she had a whole new problem on her hands...

This is for Bookworm Gal, who recommended this story on TV Tropes and has been private messaging with me lots and lots to talk about all kinds of stuff. Thank you!

Chapter Fifteen: It's Like a Nightmare

Lydia usually wasn't prone to panicking. She was the voice of reason, after all; when one's best friend was an emotionally stunted ghost with very little impulse control, well, someone had to be sensible. She didn't scare easily and she rarely lost hope.

It was almost a novelty, therefore, that she was scared out of her mind and absolutely overwhelmed by despair.

She lay in Pinky's backseat, trying desperately not to replay BJ's harsh words in her head. His sudden coldness had left her almost as confused as she was crushed. His cursory dismissal, his abrupt termination of friendship (and, she might be willing to admit, more than that) after so many years was more painful than she'd eve imagined anything could possibly be. But it was also, if she thought about it, exceedingly strange. Where had it come from? Had he been hiding thoughts like those all along?

No, she couldn't buy that. Beetlejuice was many things; subtle wasn't one of them. Especially where she herself was concerned - he wasn't good at deceiving her.

The farther they got from the scene of the pain, the less clouded by grief her thoughts became. He'd sent for Jacques only after reading the message from Prince Vince. What could the prince have said to upset him that much? What could have changed everything in such a short space of time? And why - why would that little note make him not only insist that she leave, but that she never return?

"Jacques? What did Beetlejuice say when he called you?"

"Only zat ze investigation had taken a wrong turn of sorts, and Prince Vince had arranged for you to go home," he replied, turning Pinky around a corner. Lydia could recognize the old door to the Outerworld in the distance. "I 'ad no idea he would be so... harsh with you."

"Are you okay, honey?" asked Ginger.

"Shaken more than anything."

"I just can't believe he said those things. I mean, Beetlejuice is a bit of a jerk and we all know it, but he..." The spider trailed off, apparently unwilling to finish the thought.

"I know."

And she did. She'd been reluctant to admit it, since the very nature of their relationship made it almost ridiculously impossible. But if she sat down and forced herself to be really honest about things, Lydia was almost as aware of BJ's feelings as she was of her own - which was much more aware than she wanted to be just then.

"I think he 'ad his reasons for doing what he did, Lydia," Jacques said gently. "Though I do not pretend to know what they are."

"When he said all that stuff, I was too freaked out to think about it much," she admitted. "But I think it had something to do with the letter he got from Prince Vince. He wouldn't let me see what was in it. Maybe I should talk to the prince before I leave, see if he can clear things up."

"Mais oui, zat sounds like a good idea." Jacques turned Pinky down a side street, pointing away from the door, heading for the prince's castle.

It probably would have been a good idea, all right, except that they never made it that far.

Pinky beeped in alarm as they reached an unexpected obstacle three blocks later. "When did zis road become blocked off?" Jacques wondered. "It was clear earlier."

"When we needed a dead end," said a voice. They turned in their seats to see that Mr. Big, along with a handful of Neitherworld lowlifes, stood behind the car to block their exit.

"We're trapped!" said Ginger.

"Uh... say cheese!" Lydia shouted, raising her camera. She only had time for one somewhat blurry shot; the flash didn't work as well as it had on other such occasions, and the camera was snatched out of her hands. A rough fabric bag was rammed over her head, and she could feel something pinioning her arms to her sides.

"Not too harsh, boys! Nyah! Someone wants a woid with the little meat sack!"

She had the distinct impression she was being hoisted over someone's shoulder, not entirely unlike an actual sack. "Jacques! Ginger!" she called, trying to kick her way free.

"Quiet her!" she heard Mr. Big say, and it was the last thing she knew for a while.

When Lydia next regained her senses, the bag had been removed and she was tied to a chair. "Where am I?" she mumbled, blinking and trying to understand just what had happened.

"Oh, good, you're awake." A figure was looming over her. "We had to go to an extended infomercial break while we waited for you to come around."

"Mr... Mr. Monitor?" She blinked at him.

"Of course. You, dear girl, are helping us to create ratings history!"

Lydia sighed. "Suddenly things are starting to make a lot more sense. Where am I? What did you do to my friends?"

"The skeleton and the spider? I'm afraid we had to cut their parts." He chortled. "You're the star right now. The Neitherworld has been on tenterhooks ever since the big reveal!"

"What big reveal?"

"Oh, that's right, it didn't come until after your heartbreaking exit!" He laughed, rubbing his hands together. "Beetlejuice has learned where his missing juice is!"

"What? Where?"

"Why... in you, of course!" He all but poked her in the nose, pointing at her. "The ultimate shocker! You've been carrying it around the whole time, and didn't know it! Now the question is... who's going to be the one to get it out of you?"

Her eyes widened. "What do you mean? Could you please just explain the whole thing straight instead of constantly pausing for dramatic effect?"

"It's very simple." He grinned. "You're here in the Fairy Godfather's castle, which means that in a roundabout way, Beetlejuice's contract is completed. But to fully meet the terms, the 'juice' as he calls it has to be removed from you. So there've been a few volunteers who are willing to... experiment... with the process and find out what's the most effective way to do it. All on the air, of course! This whole adventure has been our biggest ratings extravaganza yet!"

"Nyah, you're forgetting to mention the part where she's probably not gonna survive the process," said Mr. Big, who was standing nearby. "That's not a problem, is it?"

"You're not serious!"

"Oh yes. So what will it be? Will the surgery succeed? Will you die on the operating table? Or will your hero come bursting in to save you? That's what everyone wants to know." Mr. Monitor looked excessively pleased with himself.

"Of course, if he does, we've got a few plans for Beetlebrains," Mr. Big added. "Since he's gone and made himself mortal, he's not gonna juice his way out of trouble this time. No matter what happens, we've got him! Nyah!"

Lydia's mind raced. "Beetlejuice! Beetle-"

"Oh, no you don't!" Mr. Big shoved a wad of material into her mouth, muffling the spell. "You're not getting away that easy! You're staying put until we find out if he's gonna show... and then it's curtains for both of you!"

"Is it?" Mr. Monitor gazed lovingly into the camera. "Stay tuned to find out!"