Yeah yeah, I know. I'd hoped to have this out two weeks ago, and look how that turned out. Oh well. Good news is that with finals over, this won't take nearly as long to update. I hope to have this story finished by August.

AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE END!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Chapter 15: The Worst Kind of Pain

Beast Boy and Raven sat together, huddled in the cold cell for a long time. Despite having been out for so long, both were very tired. The entire place seemed to just suck the energy right out of them. Wanting to break the silence, but unsure how, Beast Boy allowed himself a glance at Raven. Her head was lowered, and he couldn't see much through her hood. He could see enough though to see that she was worn out, physically and emotionally, and had a look of utter hopelessness. It pained him greatly to see the normally strong and stubborn Raven looking defeated. After thinking it over, he gave her hand a delicate squeeze, causing her to turn to him.

"Raven," he said, forcing a smile. "It's going to be okay. We're going to get out of here." Despite everything, she managed a weak smile back.

"Yeah."

"Why do you think he didn't kill us?" Gar asked. Raven shrugged.

"Obviously he has plans for us. If he didn't, we'd definitely be dead by now."

"Just great," Beast Boy growled. He got up, walked to the wall and tapped on it. "Probably three feet thick, I bet. I wouldn't be surprised if we were underground right now. Plus they took our communicators…"

Raven said nothing, but continued to stare at the ground.

"H-hey Raven?" Beast Boy asked timidly from the other side. She gave him eye contact to indicate she was listening. "I'm sorry, but," he bit his lip. "Did you like the flowers?"

Raven's eyes widened in shock. "You sent them?" She was surprised, but after Beast Boy's confession it should have been obvious.

"Yeah," he said with a blush. "I sent them to our tower. I was so scared of telling you how I felt, I, I just did something else I thought would work."

"Beast Boy, I…"

"You don't have to say anything. I'm just sorry for not telling you earlier. At least then you would have had time to think about it before this happened." He looked earnestly at her. "But when he get out of here, I promise I'll give you as much time as you need."

Raven closed her eyes and turned her head away. "We really shouldn't be talking about this, Beast Boy."

Beast Boy's heart dropped at seeing her shun him like this. Even now, she still refused to let him in.

"Yeah, you're right. We have more important things to worry about. I promise I won't bring it up again," he said sadly. He suddenly felt tired, and slumped down against the wall.

Even though she had lost her powers, she still could plainly feel the sadness dripping from his words. Swallowing her pride once again, she spoke.

"Thanks."

Beast Boy's ears perked up, and he his eyes darted toward her in surprise. "What?"

"Thanks, Beast Boy," Raven said managing a weak smile. "They were beautiful."

Beast Boy blushed. "You're welcome."

Raven felt her exhaustion catching up to her. Before she could stop it, a yawn escaped her.

"Tired?" Beast Boy asked.

"Yeah."

"Well," Beast Boy said, glancing at the sorry excuse for a bed in their cell. "There's only one bed. You can have it."

"Thanks, but I'd almost rather not." There was no telling what sort of bugs infested that mattress. Beast Boy didn't object, but he didn't take the bed either.

After a while of trying to sleep, though, the bed looked more and more promising. The floor was hard, very cold, and seemed to have a few critters of its own crawling around. Raven got up and saw that Beast Boy was lying on the ground with his eyes closed. After quietly walking over, she gently laid down on the welcome surface. The straw mattress wasn't the most comfortable, but it sure beat the floor. Before she could even try to fall asleep though, Raven heard a noise coming from Beast Boy. She glanced down and to her shock, saw that he was shivering. His eyes were shut tightly, but it was obvious he wasn't getting any sleep. At this, Raven felt a pang of guilt at seeing him like this. She at least had her cloak to keep her warm, but his uniform probably did little to help.

"Um, Beast Boy?" she asked unsurely. The changeling opened his eyes and looked at her.

"Yeah?"

It's a good thing it was dark, because Raven was blushing madly. "Do you um, do you want to sleep here?"

He shook his head. "That's okay, Raven. I said you could have it."

"I mean, do you want to sleep up here with me?"

Beast Boy looked at her as if she had grown an extra head. "Um…what?"

She rolled her eyes even though she was still blushing intensely. "Look, it's cold, it's uncomfortable, plus it's dirty. It's not going to do either of us any good if we can't sleep. At least by doing this we'll be able to keep each other warm."

Beast Boy rubbed his hand on his neck. "Well, I know, but I mean…well Rae, no offense, but you asking someone to sleep next to you isn't something I'd expect you to ask in a million years."

"I know, but this isn't exactly a normal situation for either of us. Now are you going to do it or not? Because you can still sleep on the flood if you insist."

"No that's alright!" Beast Boy said quickly. "Um, I mean, sure. If you don't mind, that is…"

She shook her head. "I wouldn't have asked you if I had minded in the first place. Now come on." She leaned back again, though still kept an eye on him. "Oh, and Beast Boy?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't let this go to your head."

Beast Boy grinned and, not protesting one bit, got up and crawled in next to her. He took the side closer to the edge, and let her have the side closer to the wall. She was right, it wasn't that comfortable, but it sure was better than the floor. Raven meanwhile turned away so he couldn't see her blush, and closed her eyes in an attempt to sleep, while trying to ignore the sheer awkwardness of the situation. It was definitely awkward for her, but at the same time, she didn't like seeing her friend suffer (at least not like this).

Beast Boy on the other hand, couldn't help staring at her even though he was tired. Never in a million years would he have imagined himself this close to Raven. She looked so at peace, even though he couldn't see her face. He just wished this could have been back at home, in the Tower instead of this God-forsaken place. As he closed his eyes, he allowed himself to imagine what it'd be like if they really were back in the tower, sleeping in his room – scratch that, her room – and for once, just indulging in their feelings for each other. Oh, how he wished that someday that would come true. He would do anything for her, he would give anything for her. Yet, she continued to remain so far away from his reach. Would he ever get through to her? Well, maybe. There was always hope. And that was all either of them had at this point.

A long time passed. If Beast Boy guessed, probably almost a full day. After thinking about it, Raven and he decided that their best chance to escape would be for Beast Boy to find a way out of here and get out. The only way he could do that though was for him to leave the cell in disguise of an animal, and that wouldn't be easy. If he was discovered, outside of his cell, that would be the end. They hadn't heard a single word that following day, and the only food they'd been given was some kind of tasteless mush and a meat they didn't want to guess was. They had tried more than once to get the strange cuffs off of Raven, but to no avail. They were on tight, and seemed pretty much unbreakable. Another night (or at least it seemed that way) arrived, and they had to sleep once again in the dark, dank cell.

A loud scrape of metal awoke Beast Boy, and he quickly jumped to see what it was. He beheld three mutant looking at him with evil grins, probably the same ones they had met earlier. Next to him Raven stirred, and upon seeing them jumped up as well.

"Well, isn't this a pretty sight," the one in front said evilly. He raised his paw and pointed straight at Beast Boy. "You, come."

"What?" he asked.

The gnoll growled. "I'm not going to ask you again. Now get up and come with us, or I'm going to drag you by your pointy little ears!" Beast Boy didn't take any chances and leapt off the bed.

"Beast Boy!" Raven protested.

"Stay right where you are!" the gnoll ordered.

"What are you going to do with him?" Raven asked angrily. The creature grinned at her.

"Whatever the master wants to do," it said.

"You son of a-"

"Raven!" Beast Boy snapped. She froze and looked at him. Beast Boy didn't want to go, but he didn't want to see them hurt her, and he didn't doubt they would. "Enough. I'll go. Just leave her alone."

"That's a good changeling," the gnoll cooed mockingly.

"Beast Boy, no!" Raven protested. Beast Boy hushed her with a quick finger on her lips.

"I'll come back. Don't worry," he said quietly. Behind him, the three creatures laughed their annoying hyena laughs. Just as Beast Boy turned to leave though, one of them grabbed him by the collar and started pulling him.

"Come on! We can't keep him waiting!" it ordered.

A few minutes later, Beast Boy found himself shoved in another dark room. He looked around and saw that it was some sort of creepy looking dungeon lit only by torches. What made it creepy were the strange sorts of metal objects and devices he saw laying around. He didn't have to guess what they were – torture instruments. As he looked, the heavy door was slammed shut, and he was left alone. He turned around fearfully, taking in his surroundings. The firelight reflecting off the torches made them look even more intimidating than usual.

"Okay, now what?" he asked out loud.

"Patience now," a voice behind him said. Beast Boy practically jumped out of skin and spun around. Right in front of him stood no other than Calabos himself.

"You," Beast Boy said hatefully, trying to mask his fear. Being here one-on-one with him made him only more intimidating.

"Anger, I see. I like that," the half demon said as he lowered his black hood, revealing his dark blue eyes. "But you can lower your claws. I came here in peace."

"What do you want, then?" BB asked.

The dark sorcerer took a step closer to him. As he did though, Beast Boy saw him pass through one of the devices in his path. "Shocked? I imagine so. No flesh, no bones. Just my soul. I've lead this kind of tortured existence for hundreds of years. Oh, I've recently gained the ability to take physical form, but only for a scant amount of time. It's only a half-life."

"What do you want?" Beast Boy asked again.

"I saw the way you fought when we tried to ambush you," he said coolly. "I admit, I was very impressed. You defeated a number of my own servants before I had to intervene. I don't think I have any warriors among my fold with the type of talent you possess, and at such a young age as well! With training, you could become much more powerful than you are now."

Beast Boy didn't like where this was going at all. "Wait a minute, are you saying want me to…"

"Yes, shape-shifter. I want you to join me."

"No thanks," Beast Boy said quickly.

Calabos stared at him intently. "Really? Think about it, changeling. Think of the power that could be yours if you joined my side. You wouldn't have to any orders from your peers anymore. You would be a part of the greatest empire this world has ever known."

"I said no thanks!" Beast Boy yelled angrily.

The demon eyed him emotionlessly. "Unfortunately for you, this wasn't a request. I prefer to have my subjects come willingly, but I can easily make you. So what shall it be?."

Beast Boy looked at him, then eyed the torture devices uneasily. "What are you going to do?"

Calabos laughed. "Ha! You think I'm going to torture you with those? I only save those for the weak ones."

Beast Boy looked at him with confusion.

"That's right, despite your cowardly exterior, I sense a great deal of strength and willpower within you." The sorcerer looked at him threateningly. "Now, either you submit to me and save yourself the pain now, or I can force you. Well?"

"Forget it," Beast Boy said defiantly. Calabos closed his eyes.

"So be it then." When he opened them again, his eyes had gone black. Beast Boy cried in pain and clutched his head as a sensation ran over him. It felt as though someone had opened his skull and was feeling his brain.

"What are you doing?! Stop it!" Beast Boy moaned. The sensation became so great that he fell to his knees. His sight went hazy, and he could barely focus.

"Yes, let us see what your mind holds," Calabos hissed. "What's this I see? Beneath your lighthearted mask lies pain and longing. Ah, and I see guilt. Much guilt."

Beast Boy fell forward to the floor, all strength having left him. "Please, stop…"

"And what is this here?" the demon continued. "Strife and conflict I see. You have a thirst to prove yourself, yet everyone around you, even your 'friends', look down on you. But then again, why should they not? What have you ever done for them?"

Beast Boy looked up to see none other than Robin standing in front of him.

"You've really done it now, Beast Boy," he said angrily. "You let yourself and Raven get captured. Now what are we going to do? You've let us all down. You're worthless."

Beast Boy almost replied, but snapped his eyes shut. "No. This is just a vision. It's not real," he said calmly.

Calabos's voice spoke again. "Not the first time that's happened, is it? Of course you've let them down so many times, why should this be any different?"

Beast Boy opened his eyes again, this time seeing an angry Cyborg standing over him. "You've failed us again, BB. Raven's going to die now thanks to you. Are you happy?"

In a flash, Cyborg was gone and was replaced by Starfire. "You clorbag!" she said furiously. "Can you not do anything right?"

"It's just a vision. It's just a vision…" Beast Boy said over and over. Even still, he couldn't help it. Every failure, every hurtful thing his friends said, and every mistake he made with the Titans came back to him.

"It's not just them, is it?" Calabos asked as the vision faded from view. "You've always been a failure to everyone around you. Especially those you love, is that so?"

The room went eerily quiet, but Beast Boy didn't look up. Then, he heard a voice that made his stomach tighten.

"Beast Boy?" asked a feminine voice.

"No, please no…" Beast Boy moaned. He didn't want to look, but some invisible voice compelled him to. Standing in front of him was a teenage girl with long blonde hair and blue eyes. Terra.

"Why did you let him get me?" she asked earnestly. "You said you'd protect me."

"No, I…" Beast Boy stopped and squeezed his eyes shut. "You're not Terra," he said firmly. But she was so real, she even smelled like Terra!

"Beast Boy, please," Terra said sadly. "I thought you were going to be there for me. Why did you let Slade take me? You promised you wouldn't let him get me."

"No! Stop! This isn't real" Beast Boy yelled. He tried to block her out, but it was impossible. Her very voice rekindled old feelings, and the terrible memories came flooding back.

"Why did you let this happen to me?" she continued. "I thought you were my friend. "I thought you loved me…"

"YOU'RE NOT TERRA!!!" Beast Boy shouted at the top of his lungs while gripping his head. He was too frantic to realize he was panting. The carnival, the funhouse, Slade, it all came coming back. The emotions and memories, plus the intense sensation Calabos's grip was causing, almost overwhelmed it.

"Then again, how could she have loved someone like you? Think about it. Just look at yourself. Nobody would ever accept you. Maybe she was just using you," Calabos said in words eerily similar to Slade's. Terra disappeared, and in her place stood none other than Slade.

"Or maybe she just wanted to keep you as a pet," he said mockingly.

"STOP IT!" the changeling practically screamed.

"You can end this any time you want," Calabos growled. "Just say it."

"No, I won't…" Beast Boy whimpered.

"Have it your way. Hmm, let's explore a little more, shall we?" he teased. Beast Boy hissed as he felt the sorcerer explore his mind further. At that moment, the demon let out a dark chuckle. "Well, well, well…this was unexpected. I would not have guessed it. So, you have feelings for the half-demon, do you?"

Beast Boy said nothing.

"It must have been quite painful for her to reject you so cruelly. But tell me, are you surprised? After all, what have you ever been for her but an annoyance? A pest? Something to batted away like an insect?"

Beast Boy remained silent, trying to fight back tears.

"You have no answer? Tell me, did you honestly expect her to come to you? Did you honestly think your friend could even be capable of loving? She is like me. She is half demon. She could never love. And even if she could, she would never have feelings for one such as you. Why do you think she turned away from you in the first place?"

"She wasn't ready… She was scared," Beast Boy moaned.

"Wasn't ready? Do you honestly believe she would be ready to slay her father and yet not ready to give herself to you?! You're pathetic. Raven has no feelings for you. She despises you."

"No she doesn't" Beast Boy shot back. Inside he was praying over and over that this would end soon.

"Don't believe me? Just ask her," Calabos grinned. He disappeared from view, and to Beast Boy's horror, Raven's voice filled the room.

"You're not funny."

"Go away, Beast Boy."

"Just get out of my way!"

"You never think! You're not even capable of such a thing!"

"You moronic, immature little ass!"

"I HATE YOU!"

The last line caused Beast Boy to collapse on all fours. Pain, regret, guilt, sadness, anger…all these flowed through him like a raging tidal wave.

"Beast Boy," Raven's voice called. The changeling forced himself to look, and saw Raven standing over him, staring at him coldly. At seeing her, he let out a pathetic whimper. "You've failed us. You failed me. Don't you see, Beast Boy? You're not a hero. You never were. You're nothing," she hissed.

"I'm…I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry Raven," he said pathetically. "I didn't mean for this to happen."

"Oh, it's okay," Raven said almost happily. In an instant, she shifted from her normal self into her towering, tentacled demon form. Her four red eyes burned brightly, and her sharp teeth curled into a wicked smile. "You'll be even sorrier soon!"

"NOOO!" Beast Boy shouted as he backed away frantically. Just as soon as she appeared, the vision was gone, and in it's place once more stood the dark sorcerer. He wordlessly approached Beast Boy's limp form on the ground. His eyes were shut, and he was panting heavily.

"I think you've had enough for now," Calabos whispered maliciously. "Rest now, for we'll be doing this again very soon." Slowly he leaned forward so he was whispering in the changeling's ear. "Now you have a taste of what I can do, so remember it well. Because you might be strong, child, but I will break you, one way or another."

Beast Boy was once again thrown into the dark cell, and the metal door slammed shut behind him. He didn't even get up; instead he remained on the floor. Upon seeing him, Raven rushed over to his side.

"Beast Boy! Are you okay?" she asked as she propped him up. The green boy took one look at her, and his eyes went wide with fear.

"Get away from me!" he shouted as he frantically struggled out of her grasp and backed away from her.

"Beast Boy, what's wrong?" asked a confused Raven. Beast Boy looked at the gothic girl, but what he saw was a red-eyed black demon with tentacles staring at him hatefully.

"Just stay away from me, you monster!" he said more firmly.

Now confused and hurt, Raven grew more concerned. "Beast Boy, it's me," she said calmly as she approached him, not wanting to provoke him.

"I said stay away!" Beast Boy took a swipe at her, which Raven barely dodged. She then grabbed him firmly by the shoulders and shook him.

"Beast Boy it's me!" she said, and gave him a light slap on the cheek. He then froze with a dumbfounded expression on his face. He blinked as his vision cleared, and he saw once more the ordinary Raven standing in front of him.

"Oh god," he said. "I'm sorry, Raven."

"Beast Boy what happened?" she asked calmly while sitting him down.

"He tortured me," Beast Boy said quietly. "He read my mind somehow. He got into my memories and used them against me. It was terrible."

"Oh my god," she whispered. She had an idea of Beast Boy's past, and knew he had went through too much at his age to relive it all over again. "Did he…?"

"No, he didn't bring up my parents. But he did bring up Terra, and he used you."

"He used me against you?" Raven asked. 'Bastard,' she thought.

"Yeah. He said you couldn't love. He said you hated me."

"Calabos is a liar. He was just telling you that to break you," she said softly, while at the same time furious that he would do such a thing.

"He became Terra. He knew about my feelings for her. I think next time he's going to use my parents." Beast Boy let out a whimper and collapsed. Raven frowned sadly, and in an unusual gesture, wrapped an arm around his shoulder and drew him close, resting his head in her lap.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry this all happened. This is all my fault. I'm worthless," Beast Boy choked as the tears came.

"No, it's not. It's nobody's fault," Raven said comfortingly. "And you're certainly not worthless. You're one of the greatest persons I've ever met, Garfield." He didn't acknowledge her, but continued to cry as the horrible memories kept running through his mind.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be a hero. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough," he sobbed. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you!"

Raven wasn't sure if he was talking about her, Terra, or his parents. It didn't really matter now. She merely kept him there, stroking his head and whispering soothing words, and letting the tears come until merciful sleep took him over.

NOTE: Even though I liked writing this story, I'm afraid it hasn't received enough reviews as I'd hoped, and it's just become too much of a hassle to write with everything else going on in my life. So, as of right now, this story is officially cancelled. Thanks a lot, you've been a great bunch of readers.

Psyche! Just kidding. This story isn't over; it's going to go on as usual. (sorry, please don't kill me) Actually, the announcement was that I'm currently working on a new TT story, and will eventually post it later, probably during the summer. I won't post it however until most or all of this story is written. Let's face it, writing two at the same time can be a hassle. This new story, unlike this one, is going to be mostly Raven-centered, which usually I don't do. I like writing for BB better, but I couldn't pass this idea up. But don't worry though, it will still be BBxRae.