Cinderjuice

A Beetlejuice fanfic by Lady Norbert

Author's Notes: As some of you already know, there will be a sequel. Kourie's right, I have zero control anymore, if I ever had any in the first place.

Also, reviews. You know I love 'em. And you lot are wonderful for sending so many!

Chapter Seventeen: Foredoomed to Failure

Lydia was gagging on the, well, gag. The wad of fabric which Mr. Big had stuffed into her mouth made her feel like she was choking. On the other hand, this had the side benefit of distracting her from the fact that Mr. Big and his cronies were discussing ways to get Beetlejuice's power out of her.

"Maybe if we cut open her head it'll all leak out," offered one.

"No, no, cut open her chest!" suggested another. "Take out her heart!"

"I bet it's in the blood," insisted a third. "Bleed her dry, the juice'll be mixed in there."

"Nyah, shut it, you morons," said Mr. Big. "We'll just try a couple different ways until something works. Start small."

Lydia was starting to think she might be ill. It was a welcome relief when they all fell silent, hearing the sounds of running feet in the corridor.

"Mr. Monitor!" Lipscum darted into the room, gesticulating wildly. "He's here! He's here! Beetlejuice is here!"

"Where is he?" asked the television executive, eagerly.

"Down in the entrance hall! He's fighting with Scuzzo!"

"Without his magic? Get those cameras on him, now!" Mr. Monitor turned his attention to the large screen in one corner, and everyone else crowded around Lydia's chair to watch too.

"Whoa, Beetlejuice looks bizarre," one of the goons said, awed.

"No, you fool, that's his brother! Move the camera!" The camera's view swung around obligingly, and a few seconds later, BJ came into focus.

"Look at this! It's glorious!" Mr. Monitor crowed, rubbing his hands together. Lydia's eyes widened as she watched BJ seize the nefarious clown and throw him bodily across the room. His eyes were wild, and his hair almost seemed to be standing on end as he advanced on his prey.

"I'm not gonna ask again, Scuzzo. Tell me where she is!"

"Oooooooooh," chorused the viewers. Lydia, for her part, felt her heart lurch in her chest. He came to get her, the lovable dolt.

"Up - upstairs," Scuzzo whimpered. "Top of the stairs - turn left - second door."

"That's more like it." BJ picked him up one more time. "And Scuzzo... if anything happens to her before I get there... I will be back." So saying, he dropped his enemy, who curled into a ball, and turned away. He gestured to someone offscreen; Lydia hoped that meant he hadn't come alone. Someone had to protect him, and she was definitely not able to do it.

"Have the cameras follow Beetlejuice through the halls," Mr. Monitor directed. "Mr. Big, how do you want to proceed with the extraction? I'm thinking that for maximum impact, he should break into the room at the moment you're about to make the first incision."

"Nyah, that'll woik, I guess. Let's get her on the gurney and set things up."

The second she felt her bonds loosen even a fraction, Lydia started struggling. She needed to buy time, if nothing else; just knowing that BJ was in the building had given her a tremendous boost of courage. The noodniks who were trying to manhandle her were clumsy and easily confused, and she managed to work one arm free. She yanked the ball of cloth out of her mouth and sputtered, trying to form words - but her tongue had gone dry, her throat likewise, and speech refused to come.

She gave them as good a fight as she could, under the circumstances, but it wasn't long before they had her subdued again. They strapped her to the gurney and pushed her across the room, under the glare of a light so bright she wondered if she'd ever see properly again. The surgeon, or whatever the individual was who had apparently been recruited to actually cut her open, slapped a piece of medical tape over her mouth. "Can't have you vanishing mid-operation!"

"Nnn." Lydia was starting to feel lightheaded. They obviously had no intention of using anesthesia - heck, it probably didn't even exist in the Neitherworld. She strained her ears, trying to hear the sound of approaching footfalls. Beetlejuice, hurry - I don't know how long they'll wait!

"Is he close? Is he?" Lipscum was half dancing around Mr. Monitor. "Can you see him? Should I go slow him down?"

"Why - yes," Mr. Monitor chuckled. "That's a fantastic idea. Go on now." He shooed Lipscum out of the room, then immediately turned his attention to the television which was displaying BJ's explorations of the castle. "And three... two... one... ahhh." His four faces were wreathed in smiles as Lipscum was subjected to no less gentle a bruising than Scuzzo had already received. "That is positively magnificent. So cathartic to watch!"

"I never liked him anyway," Mr. Big remarked idly.

"He's coming!" Mr. Monitor finally tore his eyes away from the screen. "Places, everyone! Time for the grand climax! Ahahaha!"

Some part of Lydia - some feeble, desperate, slightly hysterical part - tried in vain to find the situation amusing. In some ways she supposed it really kind of was. Or at least, it would be if she didn't think there was a very real chance that she could die in an exceptionally painful manner. The mad surgeon and a few of the others in the room arranged themselves around her gurney, looming over her like phantoms from a particularly bizarre and horrible nightmare that could very well have been caused by spending too much time around her mother's art projects. The members of this terrible tableau waited, their eyes on the television that would alert them to BJ's arrival in the room.

"And switch to the camera here... now!" Mr. Monitor cried, pressing a button. The television picture shifted to reveal the action in the surgery room. Lydia uttered a strangled cry when the figure appeared, silhouetted in the doorframe, barely able to keep himself from shaking with his uncontrollable rage as his eyes fell upon the scene.

"Monitor!" he bellowed.

"Nyah, you're too late, Beetletwerp!" Mr. Big laughed and, to Lydia's revulsion, jumped up onto the gurney. Straddling her with his tiny legs, he pulled the cable on a small electrical saw. She stared at the whirling blade in horror.

Exactly what BJ did by way of response, she couldn't quite see. Some of the figures who surrounded the gurney moved to stop him, and their bodies blocked her view of the action - or would have, if she'd been able to rip her gaze away from the instrument of doom hovering near her face. If Mr. Big so much as twitched in the wrong direction, she was hamburger.

She was vaguely cognizant of some scuffling sounds, and a noise that resembled bodies falling like bowling pins, and then a hand seized Mr. Big by the back of his neck. "Not today," growled BJ, lifting the diminutive gangster. They stared at each other for a few seconds before Big, like Scuzzo before him, was hurled across the room to smack face-first into the wall. The saw clattered to the floor, and Lydia felt her restraints being undone.

There wasn't even time to hug him, strong as the impulse was. As she sat up and yanked the tape from her lips, BJ seized a nearby chair and advanced on the camera. "Stop! You'll ruin everything!" Mr. Monitor cried. "Stop him!"

"Just try me," BJ hissed, raising the chair and preparing to smash the camera. Those of Mr. Big's cronies who had not already been knocked aside were hurrying to prevent the destruction. Lydia hardly knew what to do or even think.

And then a new voice shouted, "Enough!"