Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, or any of its characters.
Summary: Sometimes the choices we make lead us down a path we don't expect. She chose to leave his side, and he closed off his heart to the world. Now she is back, and he is the only one that can save her. Can he move past his pain to help her? Or will the consequences of their choices prove to be too much to bear?
Rating: T for language and alcoholism.
*Note, in response to a review: This story was previously posted on Dokuga under the same penname.
The sun danced on the edge, the night sky above spreading swiftly as it set. It had been two days since Kagome had shown up at his hospital, her revelation destroying any sense of composure he had. Since then, he found it difficult to keep his head up. To keep his thoughts clear. To keep his life together. Now, he stood in his office staring out the large window. Though it was nothing compared to the view of his condo, it still helped calm him. He had received the results from Kagome's tests, and his heart only grew heavier. The cancer had indeed spread, and for the first time in his life he wished he didn't know what that meant. He wished he were ignorant of the diagnosis, that he could be a fool clinging to the hope. But he was not. He could not pretend the tests were positive.
He sat back down at his desk, debating on his next move. He needed to meet her, to sit her down and discuss the results. But he could not face her again. Seeing her this way, it tore him apart. He knew it was selfish, that she was relying on him to make this better. But that presented even more problems. He didn't know if he could make it better. Kagome being the patient, he was finding it difficult to be objective. He seldom became involved in his patient's life, preferring to keep as much distance between himself and them as possible.
"Pathetic." He mumbled to himself, reprimanding his weakness. She had left him eight years ago. Was he still clinging to that? With a renewed sense of responsibility, he reached for the phone. It was late, but he knew she would be up. It was a clear night, she would probably be outside.
The few short seconds it took for the phone to ring felt like an eternity. He briefly wondered what he would do if her fiancé answered. He may be a professional, but he was still a man, and contending with his ex-girlfriends fiancé was not exactly on the list of most pleasant things to do.
"Hello Kagome speaking." There was the sound of wind in the background, and he almost smirked. She truly hadn't changed.
"Kagome." He tried not to read too much into the light gasp from the other end when he said her name. She used to say that the way he said her name made her heart skip a beat. He couldn't help but wonder if that was still true.
"I was wondering if you would call, or if you would have someone else do it." He subdued the irritation at the insinuation he could not do it himself. He was not a child. He ignored the fact that he had been considering the very scenario just moments before he called.
"I will need you to come…"
"I don't want to go to the hospital. I can come to your place."
"Kagome, it would be best…"
"Please, Sesshomaru. I… I can't. I need to hear the news somewhere safe." Perhaps it was the plea in her tone, or the fact that she thought his place was safe, but he found himself agreeing to her request.
"Very well. I will send you the address."
"Thank you, Sesshomaru." He hung up without any further words, furious with himself. How could he invite her to his home? Not only did this break every protocol for the hospital, it also threatened his very sanity. What was he doing? Why did she still have such a hold on him? He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. How was he supposed to help her? How was he supposed to take care of her when the situation was destroying him? And against his will, memories seeped into his mind, only breaking him further.
Soft hands trailed over his skin, the ghost of the touch sending his senses on high alert. Deep blue eyes gazed up at him, a wicked smile on her lips. Her hair was down, spilling over her shoulders and trailing down her back in messy waves. The early morning sun cascaded over the bare skin of her body, and the urge to touch her was too powerful to ignore. He pulled her tight against him, his lips crashing to hers. Her legs came about his waist, and she pushed herself up. Illuminated by the sun she made love to him, his name spilling from her lips like a chorus.
He let out a deep breath, the memory so vivid it almost felt real. The way her body had looked in the gentle light, the way her hair had tickled his thighs as she threw her head back, and the way she murmured his name with such love. He could not let her go, but it hurt to be near her. What a pathetic man he was.
She would be here any moment. The truth, and knowledge of that fact was suffocating him. She would be in his apartment any moment. Despite the fact that it was after nine, she insisted on coming tonight. He couldn't find it within him to refuse her. He couldn't refuse her. He never could. He poured himself a glass of brandy, needing something to take the edge off. He was too wound up, too tightly coiled.
When the buzzer to his condo went off, it felt as though a lead weight was placed on him, weighing him down. This was a mistake. He could not face her, not on his territory. Every fiber in his being told him to pull her into his arms, to protect her from everything. But she was not his to protect. She was engaged. She choose Hojo, not him. The thoughts seemed to erase the help the brandy had given him, and he cursed his thoughts. Deciding to get the meeting over with, he buzzed her in and opened the door to wait for her.
When she stepped off the elevator, his breath caught in his throat. She did not wear makeup tonight. Her hair was back to the messy waves he loved so much. But her face was hollow, her eyes bloodshot, and her lips dry. As she walked towards him, a single thought consumed him.
She was sick. Very sick.
Love, Caleesci