Cinderjuice

A Beetlejuice fanfic by Lady Norbert

Author's Notes: This was the chapter that I did not in the slightest bit have planned. It gradually unfolded itself as I was writing and, well, now we have to have a sequel. How do I get myself into these things?

Also, I couldn't resist throwing in another movie quote. The setup was too good.

Chapter Nineteen: The Maid Predestined

"Now," said the Fairy Godfather, when they reached his office, "please, be seated."

Beetlejuice eyed the chair for a moment. "Eh, okay. So what's on your mind exactly?" He sat down almost warily, half expecting the chair to chain him to itself or something. What's this guy playing at now?

"In the first instance," said the Godfather, gravely, "I wish to offer my sincere apologies for the circumstances in which your friend found herself. That was never my intention and I had no part in it."

"Yeah, I figured." He slouched in the chair, glaring just slightly. "She's safe. That's what matters."

"I also find it interesting that your first instinct, upon learning the truth, was to attempt to send her away."

"Well, what else was I supposed to do?"

"I think you know as well as I do, Beetlejuice, that you have a reputation for being incredibly selfish. It would not have been entirely out of character for you to act as your enemies did, and attempt to reclaim your missing power by force."

"From Lyds? Are you crazy?" He sat up a bit straighter, eyes narrowed.

"No, but you prove my point." The Godfather rested his elbows on his desk, fingers steepled. "As I said on our first meeting, she is the only one who can compel you to act against your nature. There is no power in the universe, or at least none which I have personally encountered, which could either force you to hurt her or prevent you from helping her. Even deprived of your magic, you proved that the most dangerous place in the Neitherworld is between you and Lydia. I prize nothing so much as loyalty, you must understand, so a bond such as yours speaks volumes as to your true character."

Beetlejuice huffed a little, and folded his arms. "What's all this have to do with your offer? What is your offer, anyway?"

"I'm proposing to draft a new contract for you - and for her," he explained. "She has a portion of your power, and nothing can take it from her; that is absolute. But what I'm willing to do is extract from Lydia a portion of her humanity, equal to the amount of your juice she possesses, and transfer it to you."

"What good would that do?"

"It would enable you to visit the mortal world and adopt the human form you were so recently wearing, whenever you wish and without outside assistance from me."

"All right, that could be useful," he mused. "So what's the catch? And don't tell me there isn't one, because that's what you said last time and look what happened."

"Very well. There is a stipulation, in fact. If you do this, if you both consent, then it can never be undone. It will last for the entirety of Lydia's life and all of the eternity which follows." He leveled a hard gaze at Beetlejuice, which made him feel really twitchy. "Your life will belong to her. Her death will belong to you. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Beetlejuice opened his mouth, paused, and closed it again, scratching his head. "No, not really... it's been a long day."

"Then let me explain it more clearly, so that you can be sure to present the idea to her without confusion."

As he had done on a number of occasions, Beetlejuice watched Lydia through the mirror for a time before making his presence known. She was at her desk, focused on a pile of papers; school assignment, probably.

The events of recent days didn't seem to have harmed her. She looked like she'd rested since she got back, and probably had a hot meal or two. He wondered if Chuckles and Delia had ever figured out she was gone, or if they'd gone about in their oblivious way without really feeling her absence. He never could understand that; if she was out of his line of sight for more than five minutes it started to bother him, so how did these parents of hers manage to go hours or even days without noticing she wasn't there?

Ginger was right. The unwelcome, unbidden thought forced itself on his mind from out of nowhere. She has changed. And maybe I did too, a little. Lydia had grown up; the evidence was right there in front of him, the curve of her jaw and the way she crossed her legs at the knee and how she'd occasionally tuck hair behind her ear with long elegant fingers. What he himself had done, he wasn't sure, but it stood to reason that he'd changed along with her. Just a bit. The idea was unsettling; still, as long as the change wasn't bad, he supposed he could deal with it.

He shifted his aspect, donning a courier's uniform, and cleared his throat. "Delivery for Miss Deetz!"

She looked up, startled, and laughed when he held up her camera. "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice." As he passed through the mirror proper, she added, "I was wondering if I was ever going to see that again."

He surrendered the equipment and lounged in midair. "Il Principe asked me to let you know that everyone's okay," he said, "and he's taking care of all the details. Not sure what kind of punishment he's got planned for Monitor and his buddies, but he promised something 'creative'." He made air quotes with his fingers.

"That should be fun," she noted dryly, inspecting the camera and satisfying herself that it was unharmed. "And what about the Fairy Godfather?"

"Well, funny you should ask. After you left, he offered me a new contract. Offered us a contract, actually."

Lydia glanced up at him, clearly puzzled. "Us? You and me? For what?"

"He said if you were up for it, he'd fix it so that BJ" - he made the air quotes again - "could be around anytime you want. Magic intact, even."

"What? How?"

"Apparently, he'd take some of your alive-ness, equal to the amount of my juice that you're totin' around, and plug it into me. Instead of you being alive and me being dead, we'd both be sort of half and half, if that makes any sense. This'd make the Neitherworld a little safer for you, too, somehow."

"Deadly vu! But... wait, what's the catch?"

"We ask the same questions. You know I love it." She smiled, and he continued, "There's a catch, all right, and it's kind of a big one. You might not like it. And if you don't, then that's the end of it and we'll just leave everything as it is."

"Well, what is it?"

"We'd be kind of... stuck. Together. Permanently."

"Stuck how?"

"Basically, it'd be you and me for the long haul. Not just til you died - beyond that. No gettin' out of it, no take-backs, no do-overs, do not pass Go, do not collect $200."

She frowned. "Meaning we..."

He sighed and raked a hand down his face; she was gonna make him spell it out, wasn't she? "We'd belong to each other. Like -"

Her eyes widened with sudden understanding. "Like marriage?"

"Eh... kinda, yeah." Beetlejuice paused, then snorted. "Maybe you should have said yes to the prince when he was askin'."

"Beej, I was twelve," she reminded him, smirking. "Definitely too young for princessdom. Even now I think I'm too young to get married."

"Well, yeah. That's why I needed to run all this past you." He was surprised at his own disappointment.

She was quiet for a moment. Her elbow was propped on the desk, her fist balled against her cheek; he guessed she was turning it over in her mind. Then she asked, "What do you think about it?"

"Me?" He shrugged, hoping he didn't look like it was all that important. "Well, it's kind of a big decision, isn't it? I mean, I always said if I was ever gonna do it, I was gonna do it once and that was it."

"Really."

"Would I lie?"

"Absolutely."

At that, he chuckled. "Look, you don't wanna do it, we're not gonna do it."

"I didn't say that, exactly. You have to admit it's unconventional, though. Remember poor Victoria from Corpse Bride? 'Can the dead marry the living?' Not to mention, I'm not sure that a Neitherworld marriage would be legally binding in the Outerworld."

She was smiling now, and he realized she was teasing him. Something lurched in his midsection. Not wanting to think about it too much, he started laughing. "Could you see the look on your dad's face if I showed up to ask for his daughter's hand in marriage?" He cackled, tumbling about in midair. "He'd fall through the floor!"

"Ugh, please don't ever do that." She smirked. "Too cutesy."

"That, Babes, is a promise I can keep!" He rolled onto his stomach and hovered, chin pillowed on folded arms as he looked at her. "So I'll just tell the Fairy Godfather no, then, and we'll leave things as they are. You know, I half thought you might go for it just so you could have him around."

"Him who?"

"BJ. You seemed like you really liked him," he admitted, lifting his head.

"Sure I did. He was you, remember?"

"A cleaned-up, friendly me. Weird. It was fun, though, more fun than I thought it'd be."

"Tell me the truth, Beetlejuice. Do you want to do this? Be stuck with me forever, literally forever?"

"Hey, it's not like I had other plans," he replied, trying to be evasive. "I'm not going anywhere. Like you said... I'm your idiot. Nothing in your world or mine's gonna change that."

"And you're going to follow me to college and everything?"

"You once asked me what you'd ever do without me, and I told you - you'll never know." Suddenly he grinned. "Contract or not, Lyds, you're stuck with me."

Her lips twitched. "Didn't you used to tell me that - how did you phrase it - 'love is the pits'?"

"It is! You think this is fun?" He adopted a cranky expression, looking away.

She laughed. "You're my idiot, all right."