Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, or any of its characters.
Summary: Sometimes the choices we make lead us down a path we don't expect. She chose to leave his side, and he closed off his heart to the world. Now she is back, and he is the only one that can save her. Can he move past his pain to help her? Or will the consequences of their choices prove to be too much to bear?
Rating: T for language and alcoholism.
*Note, in response to a review: This story was previously posted on Dokuga under the same penname.
Sesshomaru ran faster than he had ever run before, ignoring the burn of his legs and the demands of his lungs. He could not think of himself, only of her. She was waiting for him, he knew it. She had to wait. He would make it, no matter what.
He had been mid-appointment when he got the call, the call he had been dreading since she first told him of her plan to terminate treatment nearly six weeks ago. Without the Chemo, the disease took root in her system much faster, and spread rapidly. Though she seemed strong, happy, and moderately healthy, he knew she was not. He knew what would happen next, and for the millionth time since this case began, he cursed his knowledge. He hated that he knew what her body was going through, that he knew that the disease was spreading into her vital organs. He wished he were simple, that he were a regular man who did not know the complexities of the disease. That way he could believe her confident smile, or the lies she spoke about feeling fine. Oh how he craved that ignorance.
Instead, he knew that each careful step was because her body was weakening. He knew that her breathy whispers were because the medication that kept the pain to a minimum caused shortness of breath. He knew that the slight discoloration to her skin was not because of the lighting, but the disease spreading to her liver. He knew it all. And now, he would need to face it all. She was dying.
He burst through the door to her home, his breath coming in short gasps. His brother sat on the couch, his head bowed.
"She's in with Mr. Takashi," the nurse said, seeing the fear so openly displayed on Sesshomaru's face. Inuyasha looked up, his face pale and eyes red.
"He is saying goodbye." At Inuyasha's words, the door to her room opened. Hojo stepped out, his face hidden by unruly brown hair. He approached Sesshomaru, his posture stiff. Their relationship had been strained since the night she came to his home, and he had known without a doubt she had confessed to the kiss. Though he was not proud of kissing a spoken for woman, he could not bring himself to regret it.
"It would only be right," Hojo began in a broken voice, "that the one she loves be by her side." He looked up at Sesshomaru, his hand reaching out to grasp his shoulder. "I… she needs you." Hojo moved past him, and Sesshomaru felt his heart clench.
Slowly, he pushed open the door to her room. Instantly, a smile crossed her face, and for a moment he swore it lit up the room.
"I waited for you." She said softly. He went to her side, grasping her hand gently. "I knew you would come, I had to see you." Her words were breaking his heart, but he could not stop her. She turned her gaze down at their hands, a small smile pulling at her lips.
"Do you know why I left you?"
"Yes." He knew. He did not need her to say it. She smiled at him.
"Of course you do. You always were perceptive. That day when I heard you and your father arguing, it opened my eyes to things. I never even thought about you going off to medical school. It just was something I knew you would do. I knew that I would stay with my mother. But I guess I never gave it much thought."
"You overheard us?" His eyes widened. Why had he not even considered that possibility? He and his father had been loud, and Kagome could have walked in at any moment!
She nodded with a small smile. "When I first saw you in the hospital, I regretted ever leaving you. But now that I lay here, I feel peaceful. You are so close to achieving your dream."
"My dream?" Those lofty goals he had said as a boy? To end suffering and heartache at the hands of cancer? Did she still think those were his goals?
"I have watched you for so long. You have done such wonderful things. I was in awe of you, you know." Her voice was becoming raspy.
"So I have become a man you are proud of?" He asked selfishly, craving her words. She looked at him then, surprise on her face. "I have not done the things I have done to fulfill some childhood dream, Kagome. Everything I have done, every success I have achieved, it was all for you." He leaned forward, pressing his lips to her hand. Her face seemed to glow, and she sighed softly.
"Will you hold me?" He swiftly rose to his feet and helped lift her up. He took the spot behind her, letting her rest between his legs, her back against his chest. His arms encircled her form, crisscrossing around her front. This had always been her favorite way to be held.
"Always," he whispered as he hugged her.
"I have always been proud of you, Sesshomaru. You are the best man I know, and I am more thankful than you can imagine to simply know you were in my life. I have loved you from the moment I met you, and always will." He had no words for that, and so he simply burrowed his face into her hair, inhaling her scent. He closed his eyes, wishing to extend this feeling as long as possible. He never wanted it to end.
"Will you promise me something?" Her voice was faint, and it broke Sesshomaru's heart.
"Anything." He whispered, trying to ignore the way her breathing was growing shallow.
"Promise you will always love me? I know it's selfish, but I am afraid of being forgotten." He chuckled softly, pressing his lips to her temple.
"Kagome, I have always, and will always, love you. I couldn't forget, even if I tried." He knew that first hand. How many times did he try to forget her? She wasn't just written on his heart, she was his heart.
"I am rooting for you, you know." He leaned down, her voice hardly audible at this point.
"Sleep, Kagome. I will stay with you." The words tore his heart apart as he said them, and he heard her gentle okay. When her body grew lax, his world fell apart.
Love, Caleesci