Kenny woke up ten whole minutes before his alarm went off and he took it as a sign of how distressed he had been over the whole Token situation.
His dreams were hazy and tormenting, filled with that unbearable pestering sensation that he should make up his mind about something and pretty soon. He was flattered of course and he was all for sloppy makeouts in the front seat of a car, and in Token's king-sized bed but was he really going to accept his proposal? Was he really going to stoop so low and offer his companionship, and whatever the hell that included, for material exchanges, like a meal at TGI Friday's?
I mean, Token was a nice guy and all, probably one of the nicest in his class but was that enough? If he wasn't seriously attracted to him and he was just playing along for the benefits of being involved with the richest kid in town what did that make him?
Kenny, of course, knew what that made him. He had been called that before, numerous times, and probably had acted the part too, because it's really hard to maintain your self-respect when you hadn't eaten in three days. A whore. He hadn't let anyone to actually fuck him for money, but memories of that ridiculous show he appeared in back in elementary school came to mind.
And then his alarm went off, 'Ain't no rest for the wicked' blasting from a random radio station and Kenny actually paid attention to the song, cause the lyrics were so relevant to his current predicament as if the whole universe was mocking him.
And if you pay the right price Your evening will be nice
He slammed it shut and got out of his bed to start getting ready for school. It was the end of September and Kenny was already feeling tired. Their graduation couldn't come soon enough. So far their senior year had been nothing but an exhausting pressure from everyone around them to get their shit together and start applying to various colleges. And Kenny had always known he was not going to college. His family couldn't possibly afford it. He had been saving some money, hidden away in a personal bank account, from random jobs he did at some point, but all that was for Karen. Combined with financial aid, she should be able to get into the community college in Denver. His brother joined the army as soon as he graduated, so their little sister was going to be the first member of their dysfunctional family to receive higher education. Something that Kenny was more than okay with.
Thinking of Karen, reminded him that he should check if she was awake, he didn't want to be late and get sent to the counselor again. They always rode the bus together to school, most of the times joined by Ruby Tucker, who was Karen's best friend and didn't want to ride a car full of douchebags, as he was kindly referring to her big brother and his buddies.
He put on his only other pair of jeans with a few rips across the knees and his blue hoodie. He had ditched that enormous orange thing that had gotten him all through elementary school and replaced it a couple of years back, when he had saved some money, with a comfy anorak, albeit still orange. When he was out of his room, he knocked on Karen's door, shouting to her to get ready and then entered the kitchen in order to prepare something paltry for his and Karen's lunch. When he was done he put on his Chuck Taylors, checked if he had enough smokes to get him through the day and opened the front door of their crumbling house. And then he froze.
Token was on the street across his house, leaning against his BMW, skimming through the pages of what appeared to be his Calculus exercise book.
Kenny looked around him nervously and then he approached his friend, who saw fit to appear at his doorstep at seven am on a Monday morning.
"Dude, what are you doing here?" he hissed as soon as he was by Token's side.
Token lifted his eyes from his book and a genuine smile appeared on his face upon seeing it was Kenny. "Good morning to you too," he replied genially. "I thought I could give you a ride to school," he shrugged "your house is on the same route as mine, anyway."
Kenny smirked. Not only Token was moving too fast but he was horrible at lying about it as well. "No, it isn't. Your house is literally on the other side of the town."
Token blushed "Will you just get in the car already?" he said rolling his eyes and nodding towards the vehicle.
Kenny laughed but then he sombered up abruptly "I always ride the bus with my sister to school, dude."
Token appeared thoughtful for a moment as if that small detail was in the way of a thoroughly conceived plan but then he smiled again offering "Well, I could drive both of you of course."
Kenny didn't have time to respond as he heard someone calling out to him. "Kenny wait up!" Karen exclaimed while coming out of the house and trying to balance the straps of her old backpack to her shoulders. She took a few steps on the snow covered ground and then, as her brother before her, froze at the sight of Token's car.
Kenny sighed and gestured at her to approach. When she was by her brother's side, Kenny looped his arm around her shoulders urging her closer "Hey princess, do you remember my friend Token?"
Karen nodded bashfully "Hello."
"Hi there," Token replied employing his most charming smile.
"Token is going to give us a ride to school, okay Karen?"
Karen looked at her brother and then whispered "What about Ruby?" and before Kenny had a chance to answer she continued "maybe you can drop me at Ruby's house and we will walk together to the next stop," she suggested.
Kenny looked at his sister for a moment, brows furrowing "Are you sure, princess?"
Karen nodded and then glance at Token, offering him a small smile.
The ride was mostly silent and awkward. Kenny knew that Karen was puzzled by this sudden change to their regular routine, but was too shy to question it. And he really hoped it remained that way because there was no way in hell he could explain to his little sister what was going on between him and Token. Basically because he didn't have a clue himself.
When they arrived outside the Tucker residence Karen jumped out of the back seat, mumbling a quiet thank you to Token and Kenny watched her all the way to Ruby's front door.
The rest of the ride was short, South Park High School was located pretty close to their old elementary school; Randy Marsh had launched a campaign when they were in sixth grade to fund the building and the operation costs for the foundation of a public secondary school in order for the South Park kids to avoid having to travel all the way to North Park in order to receive their education.
Just before they were about to arrive Token put on music, a hipsterish radio station Kenny hadn't even heard of. He knew the song though, "Do I wanna know" by Arctic Monkeys and he was almost humming along the lyrics under his breath.
When they arrived at the school's parking lot it was still early, the few cars that were already there probably belonged to some of the teachers; Kenny spotted the distinctive '97 Ford Contour that belonged to Mr. Mackey, who got promoted around the time they were finishing middle school to high school counselor.
Token parked the car in the most distant corner of the parking lot, but kept the engine on, turning his head left and right in order to check their surroundings. It was deserted enough. The song was still playing and Kenny briefly wondered if Token had this in mind all along when he appeared at his doorstep offering him a ride.
He didn't have time to mull over it though, cause suddenly Token leaned in and kissed him at the corners of his mouth. He kept his eyes open and no matter how resolved he tried to look, Kenny could still spot a hint of uncertainty inside them. The kiss was soft and hasty and then Token retreated and pinned his gaze on the steering wheel, blushing slightly. He was ready to turn off the engine and exit the car but Kenny, as if he was waken up abruptly from a hazy slumber, reached for his arm and yanked him back towards his chest, crashing their mouths together. Because that's what he wanted.
He could still feel a lingering taste of coffee in Token's mouth, accompanied with minty toothbrush and Kenny was kissing him breathlessly, prying his mouth open with his tongue, a few remaining notes from the song still blasting through the sound system. And then Token's hands were cupping his face, tangling his messy hair, stroking his shoulders and his back, pressing their chests closer and closer together and Kenny was hard.
His eyes opened wide at the realization, relinquishing any doubt from his mind as he was exploring Token's mouth with his tongue and biting softly at his lower lip.
Token pulled away after a while and looked straight into Kenny's eyes, both of them gasping for air, and he huffed a low 'wow'.
Kenny smirked, he had always cherished that effect that he had on people. But then he subtly sneaked a glance to his own pants, actually content that the effect had been mutual.
"We should head inside," Token nodded towards the entrance to the school building. Students had started to appear and there were a few more cars parked closer to the building. Kenny was sure that Stan's old pickup would appear any second now and he wasn't in the mood to be questioned by his assholes friends.
"Yeah, you're right."
When they were outside the school entrance Kenny stated "I'll catch you inside, I'm going for a smoke."
Their schedules couldn't have been more different anyway, since Token was in pretty much every AP class along with Kyle and Wendy and Kenny was barely struggling for the necessary credits to at least graduate.
Token stared at him for a while and Kenny couldn't but help but notice the same disappointment that was apparent on his friend's face every time Kenny mentioned smoking.
Nevertheless Token nodded in agreement and stepped inside the school building. Kenny, for the second time that day, watched someone walking away from him, through the glass panels on the heavy door.
That reminded Kenny of Karen and he turned to check if the bus had arrived yet. It wasn't a long way from the bus stop near the Tucker residence but it made a few stops along the way to pick up small elementary school children and preschoolers.
When the bus was nowhere in sight, he reassured himself that the driver was just running late again and rushed towards the back of their school in order to avoid bumping into one of the teachers and receiving a lecture against loitering for his troubles.
He was surprised to see Pete there, the Goths usually skipped first period altogether, so probably he was having trouble at home again. Pete had been living with his father, since his mother ran away, only months after she gave birth to him, in a halfway decent trailer not far away from Kenny's home. His father was a sturdy, simple man who was working minimum wage at a gas company in Denver and who, according to his own mind, was trying his best to offer his only son a decent albeit humble life. Of course, the fact that his son had ended up hating life altogether, smoking one pack a day and dying strands of his hair red wasn't what he had in mind. Serious fights were due to ensue but Kenny was certain that things never got out of hand. Just the typical parental criticism against an alternative lifestyle.
Kenny often wondered why his family was considered the poorest in South Park, while they were obviously other 'competing' cases, but he attributed it to the fact that the McCormicks had three children to support and not just one. If support was the right word for what his alcoholic deadbeat dad was doing. Still he was so grateful for his siblings, Karen was the light of his life and even his stupid brother had his shining moments.
He leaned on the wall, his left knee bend against it and took out his cigarettes from his jeans pocket. As he was watching the puffy clouds of smoke coming out of his nostrils and ascending to the sky, observing Pete doing the same a few feet away from him, he realized he had made up his mind about this whole mess.
The day had gone by uncharacteristically quick for a Monday. Kenny basically slept through the whole first period. He had English along with Stan, who tried to engage him in some kind of exchanging notes conversation, mostly about his weekend, but Kenny stopped responding after a while and folded his arms on his desk, resting his head atop of them.
By the time lunch hour arrived, Kenny's stomach had been growling and he was pissed at himself for feeling so damn hungry. He shouldn't be, not after that glorious dinner he had last night. His resilience against a poor diet was what had gotten him so far and it was stupid of him to allow himself to be spoiled.
When he entered the cafeteria he strode to their regular table, after making a brief stop to the table Karen had been sitting with her friends, to make sure she was okay. That earned him a few chuckles from a bunch of thirteen year old girls, who apparently all had a crush on him. Well, maybe except for Ruby who was already going out with someone, that little Goth kid a year younger than them, Firkle. Kenny thought his sister was too young for boys and that was it. He didn't want her to end up like him, who was fooling around since grade school.
Once he was at their table, he took out a plain cheese sandwich from his black, ripped backpack and devoured it seconds before Kyle and Cartman arrived from their law class. Stan was already at their table when Kenny arrived, scribbling lyrics to his notepad, not even noticing he had company or his almost intact food on the table right in front of him.
"Hi dudes," Kyle greeted them cheerfully.
Stan finally lifted his eyes to smile at Kyle but then his gaze fell to Kenny and he frowned "Dude, how long have you been here?"
"Jesus Christ hippie. Did you come to school drunk again?" Cartman snorted.
"Shut the fuck up," Kyle exclaimed while sitting down and placing his trey before him. Cartman did the same but avoided commenting further. Puberty had hit all of them hard, even Eric Cartman, who shaped nicely into his excessive weight and stopped being such a raging asshole.
Kyle and Stan started talking about the latest song he was writing and Cartman was eating his lunch mostly in silence, occasionally rolling his eyes if some lyrics were too cheesy. Kenny was just watching them, trying his hardest to conquer his hunger and utterly failing mostly because he hadn't anything to look forward to. Doubtfully there would be something better for dinner back at his place than frozen waffles or pop tarts. He would have to put together something for him and Karen.
"Uhm Kenny? Aren't you going to eat anything?"
Kenny saw the concern on Kyle's face and he has half tempted to let him give him half his lunch. "I already ate dude, don't worry about it."
Kyle stared at him for a long moment and then he nodded "Okay." Just as he was ready to dig into his own food, someone loomed over their table.
Token was standing in front of them rubbing his palms, looking nervous as hell.
"How are you doing guys?" he asked trying to maintain a casual look on his face.
"Fine, Toke, how are you?" Stan replied, closing his notepad.
"Dude, did you solve that last problem on Calculus? It was so fucking hard! I barely got my head around it."
"That's because you're a Jew and not Asian," Cartman smirked.
Kyle rolled his eyes "Could you be anymore politically incorrect?" he scoffed and turned his attention back to Token "Ignore that fat fuck."
"Hey!" Cartman was ready to protest that he was no longer fat just bulky but Stan cut him off "Did you want anything man?" he asked gesturing at Token. Kenny had been watching the whole exchange, half amused half terrified. He didn't really mind his friend's spontaneous acts of audacity but Token kept surprising him.
Token turned his gaze towards him, for the first time since he came by their table "Kenny, would you like to come sit with us?" All of his friends stopped eating at that, even Cartman, who sneered but didn't say anything.
"We're sitting right over there," Token continued waving a hand through the air, gesturing to a nearby table where his group was regularly sitting. Kenny was surprised to see a girl sitting with them today. Was that Lizzy?
As if he was reading his thoughts Kyle inquired "Why is Lizzy sitting with you guys?"
Token shrugged "Oh, she and Tweek are a thing now apparently." Kyle almost choked and Stan's eyes opened wide. Kenny just smirked under his breath. He felt so superior, knowing that kind of stuff before his friends.
"Tweek has a girlfriend? I thought that guy would never get some!" Cartman exclaimed.
Kyle rolled his eyes "Yeah, like you are the one to talk."
"Hey! The ladies happen to love me, you ignorant Jew!" Before Kyle had the chance to reply Token continued "I don't know if she's actually his girlfriend or whatever but she's been sitting with us all lunch. Haven't you guys noticed?"
"We don't occupy ourselves with what your little gang of shitheads is doing, Token," Cartman replied.
Token rolled his eyes "Anyway, so Kenny, are you coming?"
Kenny didn't answer right away, he didn't mind going with Token, especially after the moment they had shared in his car this morning, and he wouldn't admit it even to himself but he actually caught himself wondering what Token was going during boring and long classes, or even staring at him during one of their shared ones. But there was this nagging feeling tugging at his brain that things were happening and they were happening really fast and he didn't know how to keep up.
And then he told himself to stop acting like an emo whiny bitch about it. "Yeah, sure." He got up and shot a quick "see you guys later" to his friends, who were left staring at them walking away.
"I haven't actually bought lunch yet," Token said while they were approaching the lunch line. "I was late cause I was going over some things with the Calculus teacher. Kyle was right, those problems she made us solve today were horrible," he explained.
When it was time for them to order, Token turned to Kenny and asked him quietly "So, um, what do you want?"
Kenny rolled his eyes "Dude, you don't have to buy me lunch."
"Well, I noticed that you weren't eating anything."
"I ate something before you even got here! God, why is everyone so preoccupied with what I eat today!" Kenny snapped, but upon noticing the embarrassed look on Token's face, he immediately regretted it.
"Well, I just thought you might want something, not gonna force food down your throat or anything…"
"You guys are gonna order or what?" The cafeteria guy asked them and they both turned to look at him. Kenny sighed, defeated, "Just get me a slice of pizza." Token smiled and ordered for the both of them.
Back at Token's table, Kenny felt a tension in the air as soon as they were sitting down next to Tweek and Lizzy. Clyde smirked upon seeing them together and Kenny was now completely sure that he and Token pretty much discussed everything.
Craig was staring at everyone with a murderous glare and Kenny almost shivered. "Oh that's just great. Isn't it bad enough that we have to tolerate this bitch…" he gestured towards Lizzy "…sitting with us, now we have to make room for the whitetrash too?"
Token and Clyde rolled their eyes but Lizzy didn't look at all taken back by Craig's vile statement. "Fuck off Tucker," she grunted while flipping him off. Tweek, however, looked utterly shocked.
"D-don't call Lizzy a bitch, man, what is wrong with you?"
Craig gave him a long and intense stare, his expression hardened and Kenny could have sworn that he saw not only anger in his eyes, but hurt as well.
After a moment full of tension, Craig got up scoffing "Whatever, I'm going for a smoke."
As soon as he left the cafeteria, Lizzy stood up herself muttering "Jesus Christ that guy needs to get laid", she turned to Tweek who still looked pretty aghast about the whole thing "Anyway, I'm gonna go find the girls, see you later babe" she said leaning down for a goodbye kiss.
"Tell Bebe her man says hi," Clyde yelled and Lizzy rolled her eyes.
The moment she was out of earshot Kenny turned to Token who looked pretty distressed from all the drama "Umm, what just happened?" Kenny asked.
Clyde was still eating "Don't mind Craig, Kenny. That's just his regular charming self. You can sit with us anytime you like, right Toke?" he winked at him and Token blushed murmuring under his breath "Clyde, you idiot." Clyde smirked and went back to finishing his lunch.
Tweek wasn't saying anything, he appeared lost in his thoughts, a slight shudder going through his body from time to time. Kenny was curious though.
"Hey, Tweek" he said and Tweek jumped in his seat letting out a small yelp.
"J-Jesus, you startled me man!"
"I'm sorry," Kenny offered taking a bite out of his pizza "So, what's the deal with you and Lizzy?" he asked with a full mouth.
Token shot him a warning glance, probably because Tweek didn't like being out on the spot like that but Kenny knew how to handle these situations. Talking about romantic subjects was what he did best, after being actually involved in them.
Tweek blushed but answered nevertheless "I-I don't really know man. I guess we are kind of together."
Kenny raised an eyebrow "You guess? You don't know?"
"Well, we never really talked about it, we were both pretty drunk at Token's party and we ended up making out."
"That's my boy right over there," Clyde cheered with a mouth full of taco.
But Kenny wasn't satisfied "That's it?"
Tweek fumbled with the mismatched buttons on his shirt "N-No, we actually went for a walk yesterday too."
Token furrowed his brows, "Really? You didn't tell me that."
"I was going to but then Craig got all pissed off and everything…" Tweek huffed exasperated "A-Anyway, we didn't really talk, just made out some more."
Kenny was pretty amazed by the whole thing. He had never seen Tweek with a girl before
"Oh, and she actually told me that she had liked me for a while. She said it was because I'm, you know, unusual and everything," Tweek reminisced fondly.
Clyde gave him a thumbs up and Token smiled broadly, he was really happy for his friend. Tweek took another swig from his coffee filled thermos and then got up from his seat. "I think I'm going to check on Craig," he stated before heading towards the cafeteria door. Clyde gobbled down his last bite and mimicked him, wiping his mouth with a paper napkin "Yeah and I'm gonna go find Bebe. See you guys later!"
Token shot Kenny a sideways glance grumbling under his breath "Well, that was subtle."
Kenny laughed at that "Does he…" he waved a hand at Clyde's retreating back "…know about us?"
Token swallowed his bite hard and nodded "He knows something's going on," he confirmed and then turned to stare at Kenny "Not the whole details though."
And then as if he suddenly remembered something he inquired "You didn't mind that I asked you to sit with us, did you?"
"No, don't worry about, man," Kenny replied.
"Cause your friends probably thought it was weird."
Kenny snorted "Dude, I grew up around Eric Cartman, I can handle all the criticism in the world."
Token's eyes lit up and he gave a small laugh "Yeah, I guess you're right."
"And speaking of judgmental jerks, what's the deal with Craig anyway? I mean, he was being more of an asshole than usual."
Token sighed "It's complicated".
"We still got half an hour before lunch is over," Kenny smirked.
Token chuckled "You live for this stuff, don't you?" he teased.
"Hey, I just want to be well informed!"
Token rolled his eyes but started his narration "You see, when we were in elementary school it used to be just me, Craig and Clyde. The both of them had known each other since kindergarten and I guess I started hanging out with them in first grade. Jason would hang out with us occasionally or Jimmy, but Jimmy got really close to Timmy at some point and they were doing their own thing. And then in third grade, Craig had that huge fight with Tweek, remember? The one that you dumbasses orchestrated?"
Kenny put up his hands in front of him, innocently "Hey I had little to do with that you know"
Token raised an eyebrow "O-kay. Anyway, after the fight, and I don't know how it happened actually, they became really good friends, And Craig would start bringing Tweek to every thing we did. I was okay with it, Tweek is cool and all his little quirks just make him more interesting, I totally agree with Lizzy on that. Clyde was a little jealous but he got over it. He doesn't have the attention span to hold a grudge" Token chuckled. "So it was the four of us. But then during that whole year that you were…" he trailed off clearly struggling to find the right word to describe what had happened to Kenny during his 'leap' year. It was nothing new, people were always uncomfortable talking about his deaths and he should have been used to it by now, but the truth was it wasn't getting any easier. Not after all the blood he had spilled, all the pain he had suffered, some kind of basic acknowledgment was the least he was entitled to.
"...away" he finally said and Kenny almost snapped.
"I was dead," he deadpanned quietly.
Token swallowed hard "Yes", and quickly changed the subject "During that year your dickheads friends kind of stole Tweek away from us. I mean he obviously abandoned us to start hanging out with those guys but it was easier to blame Stan and his group for the division in our not as tightknit as we had thought gang."
"Craig was furious, he was antagonizing Stan even more than usual and terrorizing into pretending Tweek had never even existed. The weird thing is though, that when you…came back and immediately Tweek became expendable, Craig took him back in. Tweek didn't come crying back to us, no, he just kept to himself, sitting all alone and everything and then some day Craig started bringing him back to hang out with us. Again I don't know what really happened between them, how they reconciled but we just accepted the restored status quo. Me because I hate drama and Clyde well because he is Clyde, he is pretty simple minded."
Kenny was listening intrigued to what Token was saying, slightly frowning when he was mentioning his death but in the end he was as much confused as before.
"I pretty much knew all that, dude, they don't explain why he is such a dick now."
Token appeared thoughtful for a moment "I think that Craig is still afraid that you guys are gonna steal us away from him or something. That's why he acted like an asshole before when you came to sit with us. Plus he had been utterly shocked to see Tweek with a girl."
Kenny chuckled "Jesus Christ you make him sound like he is gay for him or something," he said but upon seeing the serious expression on Token's face, not deeming the joke all that funny, his smile fell.
"Is he?"
"I had often wondered the same," Token said "You know Craig has never shown any romantic interest to anyone. Ever. He never talks about a girl or a boy that he likes, doesn't talk about anything remotely sexual, like watching porn or something. To be honest I think he is asexual. Maybe he just likes Tweek as a close friend and he is overprotective of him, I don't know. Or maybe, maybe he just wants him all to himself or something. Anyway, Tweek is like a hundred percent straight and Craig knows that."
"Really? I had never seen with a girl before."
"Well, that's because he is too nervous and anxious. Poor guy, he was actually so insecure, kept stressing over the fact that no girl is going to like him due to his issues. I'm so glad he got together with Lizzy, he looks genuinely happy. And don't tell Stan this, but he had like the hugest crush on Wendy."
Kenny's eyes widened "Tweek? Seriously? When was that man? And why don't I know about it? I'm supposed to know these things!"
Token snickered "Well, there are some things that even Kenny McCormick doesn't know about. Anyway, it was back during eighth and ninth grade. I remember how he kept musing over how dynamic and strong Wendy was and how proud he would be if she were his girlfriend. But he never did anything about it, only the four of us knew. He kept saying that Wendy would never go for him, even in her off phases with Stan. He was too insecure to actually act upon it."
Kenny thought about it for a moment, it actually made sense. But he had other questions as well.
"So speaking about being gay or not, what's up with you. I didn't know you like dick either."
Token blushed "Well I don't actually advertise it. The only two people that I've told other than my friends and my parents are Wendy and Nichole."
"But you dated both of them, dude."
"Yeah, that's why, there are the only girls that I came really close to, partly because we were dating at some point. And anyway Wendy was like a childhood romance, I didn't know much about relationships or sexual orientations back then. And with Nichole we broke up in seventh grade, exactly because I started to realize a few things about myself."
"So you found out you were gay in seventh grade?
"Pretty much. How about you?"
"Well, ever since I can remember myself I was all about the love I don't care where it comes from," Kenny offered him a genuine smile and Token laughed "This might be the most romantic thing you have ever said to me dude.
Kenny laughed heartily, encouraging Token to continue "And then you were at my party, drinking all alone, and I had always liked you and Clyde kept nudging me to go and talk to you, and I was pretty wasted myself and I was like what the hell it's now or ever..." he was babbling but Kenny only paid attention to one thing.
"You always liked me?" he blurted out.
Token's stomach dropped upon realizing he let that slipped from his mouth. He looked really nervous, shifting his eyes from his half eaten lunch to Kenny's face and finally he murmured "Have you looked yourself at a mirror, lately? What's not to like?"
Kenny felt a tugging feeling at his chest and resisted the urge to kiss Token right then and there, in the middle of the crowded cafeteria.
He still wasn't sure what this thing between them was, but he was definitely along for the ride.