Chapter 9 – A Great Escape.
It was a little difficult to keep track of a moving pattern that was constantly readjusting itself, but Snake managed to do so without help. They moved quickly, with Raiden occasionally stopping to check his tablet for guards. Snake had started mentally counting down from thirty minutes. Whatever Big Boss had planned could not possibly be taken care of with the time they had left until the Patriots made their move. Snake hacked through the door with his keycard. Somebody had been in the lab ahead of them. A decontamination chamber separated a locker room full of hazard suits and the actual lab. The control panel had been sabotaged to keep the doors to the decontamination chamber were open, which ensured that the lab was no longer sterile.
Whoever had been there before had brought a baseball bat with them. Computers had been smashed. A freezer full of blood had been destroyed. Documents had been burned in a trashcan. A few barrels with a biohazard sign were in the area. Each appeared to be full of something. Snake didn't bother popping them open. Snake and Raiden worked together to clear the room quickly, steering clear of the puddle of blood underneath the freezer. One room attached to the lab contained nine cryogenic beds hooked up to a single terminal while another contained an operating room. No damage had been done to the equipment in those two areas. It became evident that Big Boss was nowhere to be found. His map showed no indication that anyone was in the area.
Snake gestured for Raiden to clear the room again by himself while he wandered over to where the beds were to verify what they contained. The first held the remains of a badly decomposed corpse missing its right arm. It vaguely resembled Liquid. The other beds were empty, but it looked like they were ready to keep cloning Big Boss for the immediate future since he and his replicas were so adept at defying impossible odds.
The sound of something rolling across the floor towards him took his attention off Liquid's corpse. A flashbang was coming by to say hi. It exploded before he had time to react. By the time he regained his vision, Big Boss had already taken Raiden hostage. Big Boss had elected to wear a standard set of winter fatigues instead of a sneaking suit. A small black device that looked like a portable hard drive was clipped to his belt.
"Why didn't you check the barrels?" Big Boss asked as he held a M1911 to Raiden's head.
Raiden tried to break free, but Big Boss kept him in check. Big Boss motioned over to the barrels with his head. Snake looked and saw that one of them was missing its lid. Getting snuck up on was infuriating enough, but what really made Snake mad was the fact that Big Boss had forsaken the box for the protection of the barrel. This was blasphemous.
"Were you afraid that something icky might have been in there?" Big Boss asked.
Big Boss threw Raiden forward with enough force to send him to the ground. He hastily scrambled to his feet and armed himself with his handgun since Big Boss had knocked his rifle aside.
"Then again, I suppose it doesn't matter what you do if you are a clone of me. You would still be doing it a lot better than anybody else," Big Boss said.
"You've cheated on cardboard," Snake said.
"I have done much worse, I assure you," Big Boss said. "Did you see your brother?"
Snake nodded. He pointed at the device on Big Boss' belt.
"Is that what masks your signal?" Snake asked.
"Yes. There are only two hundred of them in circulation and you have to be on a list to get them."
"So you stole it."
"That's right. So, what do you think? I spent the past thirteen years in this lab. Comfy, isn't it?"
"It is rather cozy for a scientific laboratory."
"I figured you'd feel that way since we are basically the same person."
"Is this where they pump out your clones?" Snake asked.
"Yeah. Records indicate that no new clones have been produced. Liquid is here so that they could study him. They were planning on reviving him so that he would come after me. He hates me like you wouldn't believe, so I imagine he would be more comfortable with killing me than any of the other copies. That would work to the Patriots advantage since Liquid could never hope to take them down."
"What's with all the blood?" Raiden asked.
"That's my blood. It's what they have been using to diddle with my DNA. Unless I'm missing something, which would be entirely plausible, it is now impossible to clone me without another sample."
"They would have an easy time finding one," Raiden said. "You're dropping dead skin cells by the thousands as we speak and I'm sure you might have shed a couple of whiskers while you were crammed inside that barrel."
"I'll worry about it if it becomes a problem."
"Speaking of problems, you might have one," Snake said. "The Patriots are up to something. You don't have much time left until they make their move."
"Don't worry. Everything is under control."
Snake sensed somebody was approaching. He flipped the nearest table and ducked behind it for cover. Raiden dove into the operating room and used the corner of a wall as cover. Big Boss picked up Raiden's rifle and tossed it over to him as Anna entered the area carrying a large duffel bag. Snake relaxed slightly and stood out in the open. It didn't take long for Raiden to join him.
"I have everything you asked for," Anna announced. "As for the other members of my dysfunctional family, I can confirm that one of them is a dead traitor."
"Old Tech?"
"No. Shadow Raccoon."
Big Boss sighed.
"What's wrong?" Anna asked. "Did you want him to teach you how to shoot fire from your fingers?"
"Do you have something against that?"
"I guess we'll both have to wait a little longer, then."
"Funny you should mention Old Tech," Raiden said. "He's also dead. He was a bad guy."
"And this is why I hate paying people up front. What about the other two idiots?" Big Boss asked.
"Snake and I left Chill Penguin by Raccoon's corpse about an hour ago," Anna said. "Johnny is at the rendezvous point awaiting further orders."
"Good. The guest of honor should be arriving any minute now," Big Boss said as he slung the duffel bag over his shoulder. "I should be able to give my deposition before then. They've got a break room on this floor. We'll talk there. Anna, make sure we're not bothered."
She nodded and headed off on her own. Big Boss took the lead and left the room. They passed a few labs until they came across a locked room marked with a large C. He took a keycard out of his front pocket and swiped it through the lock. A cozy lounge awaited them. It's most readily noticeable feature were five arcade cabinets along the wall. One was Darkstalkers 3. Snake briefly thought of Otacon and wondered how it was possible to sacrifice the time it would take to shower to have more time to play a stupid video game.
Big Boss placed the bag on a table and sat at a booth with his back to a corner. He motioned for Snake and Raiden to have a seat across from him.
"So long as humans continue to exist, there will always be a mad scramble for absolute power. How do you control the world? Money," Big Boss said. "The Patriots started out with an astronomical sum of cash that they inherited from their predecessors, the Philosophers. Due to ideological differences, I left the organization in its infancy. They chose to invest their money in espionage and technology while I built the most powerful PMC I could. This had us at odds. I was offered one last chance to join them again at gunpoint, but I refused and that led to my downfall."
"Who was in charge of the Patriots?" Snake asked.
"David Oh, also known as Major Zero. He was a good friend of mine. He is the last person you would expect to have control over the entire world. When that power became too much for him, he entrusted it to a series of computers before the idea of AI's wiping us off the face of the Earth became popular."
"Is David still alive?" Snake asked.
"If he is, I wouldn't know where to begin looking for him," Big Boss replied.
"So you want us to join you on a quest to destroy the AI's?" Raiden asked.
"No," Big Boss replied. "If we destroyed them, another group would eventually take their place. We have to control them ourselves. I don't like admitting it, but if we were to try to wield that power without the AI, we would need a few extra people and eventually we would wind up inviting somebody in who would betray us. The Patriots have to be controlled by an AI and managed by a select group of individuals who make sure that the AI doesn't start to go berserk."
"We're supposed to trust a computer?" Snake asked.
"Do you have any other suggestions?"
For a moment, Snake felt completely helpless.
"No," Snake said. "That's your goal, then? To take back the Patriots and have a couple of nerds make sure the AI doesn't start trying to make people so fat that they can't run away from FEMA when they kick down their door and haul them off to a camp with a bulldozer?"
Big Boss nodded.
"Mr. Boss, sir, with all due respect, I don't believe you've ever met a Patriot AI," Raiden said. "Trust me, they are not polite. Is the AI you're after on this base going to be different?"
"Yes. It was originally designed to be a replacement for GW, but the orders were mysteriously mixed up and it was also programmed to be able to function on its own. However, it won't be as powerful as five other computers linked together. It will only be as powerful as two of them."
"When you say mysteriously, it sounds like you're being sarcastic," Raiden pointed out.
"I'm glad you are perceptive enough to determine that. Anyway, I'm done. That's my plan. Do either of you have any questions?"
Raiden scratched his nose. That was his tell. It was why he was always the first person out whenever they were playing poker. He was about to say something incredibly foolish.
"If you were reconstructed, why did they leave out your eye?" Raiden asked.
"It's part of my look."
"Do you still have to use the bathroom?"
Big Boss raised an eyebrow at Raiden and looked at Snake, who shrugged. He returned his attention to Raiden.
"Not as often as I used to, thanks to my new prostate," Big Boss replied. "I'm not too keen on all the specifics, but I'm evidently the less practical alternative to cyberization. Snake, would you vouch for this gentleman?"
"Yes. You have to get to know him. It sounds like you've had a drastic change of heart, Boss," Snake said. "The last time we met, you were completely out of your mind. I think a coma would have made that a lot worse."
"I was under quite a lot of stress at the time."
"So you handle stress by going nuts?"
"Okay, fine. Ocelot made me undergo some anxiety treatments so I won't lose my temper quite that much ever again."
"You're on anti-depressants?"
"No, those are for civilians. I got the elite treatment. Anyway, in case you haven't noticed, I'm under quite a bit of pressure at the moment. Can't you tell by talking to me that I'm a lot more relaxed?"
"You're a lot like you were in the old days, but I guess that's the advantage of being a psychopath."
"Do you really have the resources to back up this campaign of yours?" Raiden asked.
"I have so much money that it would be comical to state out loud."
"Come on. How much?" Raiden asked.
"Fine. My total net worth is three hundred and seventy two billion dollars."
Raiden snickered. Snake felt his jaw physically drop.
"Rockefeller and Gates have enjoyed similar fortunes," Big Boss said. "If it helps you to wrap your head around that much money, keep in mind that I had half of that when you put me into a coma. There are these things called investments. They are handy things to have. It also helps that once you have a lot of money, it becomes easier to make even more."
"Can you spare me a twenty?" Raiden asked.
"Ho-ho, very funny. Ha-hah, it is to laugh," Big Boss replied. "By the way, I forgot to mention that your friends are already on board. I've had people in Shadow Moses for quite some time. Before you ask, your dogs have already been collected and I've sent some mercs to take Raiden's family into custody."
"What about Otacon?" Raiden asked.
"Who?"
"The computer geek," Snake replied. "The person you are going to need to keep the AI in line."
Big Boss fell silent for a moment.
"He wasn't with you?" Big Boss asked.
Snake shook his head.
"Then where is he?"
"The Stygian Abyss."
"We'll have to pick him up after we get out of here."
"Fantastic. What's going to stop the Patriots from sending an F-16 our way while we make our daring escape?" Snake asked.
"My F-16's."
"That's inconspicuous," Raiden said.
"I'm not worried. The only thing in this world that can kill me is sitting next to you," Big Boss said. "So, how about it? Are you guys in?"
"We don't really have a choice," Snake said. "We've both been condemned by the Patriots."
"Why did you tell him that?" Raiden asked. "Now we can't bargain!"
"Exactly what were you hoping to get out of me?" Big Boss asked.
"Vision insurance," Raiden replied.
"That is the only eye related joke you get," Big Boss said. "Cherish it."
Big Boss pointed at Raiden and looked at Snake.
"I don't like this kid," Big Boss said.
"Give it time. He might be all you have in a month or two."
Snake had a brief moment to find himself impressed with the fact that he hadn't had another attack. These were hopeful thoughts that were not relevant to the situation. He shoved them into the deepest part of his mind right next to where he kept recollections of paranormal encounters he'd experienced in the past. A tingling sensation came over him. In a moment he had his rifle aimed at the entrance to the cafeteria. Raiden's response was slightly delayed, but acceptable. Anna appeared.
"Your friend is here," she announced.
Revolver Ocelot stepped through the door a few steps behind Anna with his spurs jingling enthusiastically. As always, Ocelot had neglected to wear a single bulletproof piece of fabric and instead chose to cosplay as a cowboy. The holster where he kept his revolver was empty. Snake wanted to be surprised that Ocelot was in on this gamble, but could not muster an ounce of excitement after he thought about it for more than five seconds. He and Raiden lowered their rifles.
Big Boss unzipped the duffel bag and took out the revolver he had taken from Ocelot when they had first encountered each other. Without saying a word, Ocelot walked right up to Big Boss and took it. Ocelot opened the chamber and looked at the bullets staring back at him.
"These aren't blanks," Ocelot said. "You still trust me after all these years?"
"You make it very difficult," Big Boss replied.
Ocelot holstered his revolver and looked at Snake.
"Alright, truth time," Ocelot said. "Meryl was wrong. I bet you don't get to tell her that very often, do you? Big Boss was revived in March, thanks in no small part to yours truly. While he pooled his resources, I was sent on a mission to kill everybody who knew the truth about the Patriots since they suspected that all of you would join forces with Big Boss."
"You still might unless you get a proper grip on that stupid alternate personality of yours," Snake said.
"Liquid's arm is gone. See?"
Ocelot rolled up his sleeve and revealed that his entire right arm was prosthetic. He wiggled his fingers to demonstrate that he could articulate them.
"You had that done in less than twelve hours?" Raiden asked.
"It's a miracle of modern science," Ocelot replied.
"I'll say!"
"What are you doing here?" Snake asked.
"The room containing the AI can be accessed by a member of the Patriots. As of this time, I am still technically working for them, so I know the code. Without me, it would take Big Boss at least a week to crack it."
"That's great. You'll be a big help moving forward," Raiden said.
"I wish. My track record with them has gotten so terrible that I've been called in for a review four times this past month. Do you know why you're the only two people running around with those nice sneaking suits? I intentionally botched the requisition order for them. There are only ten of them in existence and it will take a little while to make more since I had the only factory capable of producing them heavily sabotaged."
"Will you be able to retain your cover while helping Big Boss?" Raiden asked.
Ocelot shook his head.
"The second I open that door, it's going to set off a red flag. In order to be in that room, I have to have their explicit permission. Because I was a friend of the man who helped found the organization, I have always been given a lot of slack. The AI's were programmed to trust me. Not completely, but so much that I managed to get away with more than I should have."
"You can say you were coerced," Raiden said.
"My orders are to ensure the death of Big Boss, Solid Snake, and Raiden. If I fail, I'll be given the option of drinking nine grams of secobarbital mixed with ten grams of pentobarbital liquid or being hung from a ceiling fan by my intestines. That's exactly how they put it. Seeing as how I diverted the assault on this facility to an uninhabited island to the south, I would say I'm well on my way to having a cup of suicide."
"I have another question," Snake said. "What was our misadventure at Shadow Moses all about?"
"Miscommunicated orders," Ocelot said. "My employers have been overriding most of the commands I've been issuing for the past month. They knew Big Boss wasn't going anywhere because he didn't know the code. You were originally supposed to go to Shadow Moses, but they threw in the simulation to test your loyalty to them. I heard you kind of sort of failed. That's when the Patriots changed their plan. Again. For the twelfth time, actually. I've been keeping count."
"You're certain that code hasn't changed since this base was compromised?" Snake asked.
"The code given to the personnel here is much shorter and defaults to the master code in case of an emergency. I am the only person who knows the master code. It's about a hundred characters in length."
"How did you manage to memorize that?" Raiden asked.
"You'll soon see," Ocelot replied.
Anna's radio burst out in an emission of static.
"Hey, boss. You there?" a soldier asked.
"Yes, what is it?" Anna replied.
"I think we're about to get screwed up here. Yeah. Definitely screwed up here."
"And why might that be?"
"A VTOL just dropped one of those cow robots down. I think we're definitely going to start shooting."
Gunfire erupted over the channel.
"Yeah, definitely some shots fired out here, boss."
Anna adjusted the frequency on her radio.
"I thought you said you sent them south of here!" Raiden said.
"Kid, he also said that they haven't been listening to him," Big Boss said. "If you had listened to him, you would have heard that."
"All units, retreat. Leave the hostages where they are and abandon the mission immediately," Anna ordered.
Big Boss unzipped his duffel bag and pulled out an AA12.
"Time to leave," Big Boss said. "Let's go get that AI secure. Fall in and follow my orders."
The team left the cafeteria and moved as quickly as their cautious advance to the AI lab would allow. Big Boss ran his security card through the scanner. Everyone collectively tensed to rush in, but the door didn't budge. Instead, the card reader beeped annoyingly at them and flashed red. Big Boss checked to see that he had used the right side and ran it through again, this time more slowly. It still refused to open and beeped at him.
"Try licking it," Raiden said.
To see the greatest soldier alive reduced to licking a chunk of plastic in order to get a door opened was something Snake didn't think should belong on his bucket list until he witnessed it. Big Boss swiped his card again. A green light flashed and the door opened. After exiting the changing and cleaning rooms, they were in another lab. Manufacturing an AI that could control the world was much more complex than throwing parts on a kitchen table and sticking them into a case. The room had been completely sterile and free of dust before they entered it. A railway with several numbered boxes was on the ceiling. Several terminals and work stations were available for cover. Snake smirked. To make a computer, a computer was required.
At the end of the room was a vault that would make a federal bank jealous. A simple keypad was on the wall next to it. Ocelot approached the keypad and began inputting the password. Everybody spread out to provide him adequate cover. Musical notes rang out as his fingers danced across the pad. They quickly formed into a tune that Snake recognized.
"Is that Korobeiniki?" Snake asked.
"Indeed," Ocelot replied.
"That's the Tetris song!" Raiden exclaimed.
"I'm gonna blow you away, kid," Big Boss muttered to himself while shaking his head.
"It's about to change. Wait for it," Ocelot announced.
The song changed before it could loop and turned into Ievan Polkka. It eventually morphed into the Second March from the Nutcracker Suite by Tchaikovsky.
"You made this code, didn't you?" Anna asked.
"Of course," Ocelot replied. "Now shut up and stop asking questions before I make a mistake and lock myself out of this."
A minute later, the keypad chimed and the vault began to open slowly. Ocelot slipped inside the second he could squeeze himself through the gap and disappeared into a room that had less space than a cheap apartment in New York City. In less than a minute, he appeared carrying a sleek gray item about the size of a lunch box. It did not appear to be heavy.
"That's the AI?" Snake asked.
"The old models were much larger, I assure you," Ocelot said.
"Stuff it in my bag," Big Boss said.
Ocelot unzipped the bag Big Boss was carrying and tossed the AI inside of it.
"I see you managed to find some EMP grenades," Ocelot said.
"It wasn't easy," Big Boss said. "You practically have to make them yourself these days."
"That's because the Patriots don't want you to have them since everything is so electrical these days," Raiden chimed in helpfully.
"Kid, I'm well aware of that."
"I thought you might not be."
"If you could tell me something I didn't know, I'd probably shoot myself," Big Boss said.
"Is it smart to put a computer next to a bunch of EMP grenades?" Anna asked.
"Probably not, but it will make everybody think twice about shooting me," Big Boss replied.
"It sure would be funny if you ruined that AI before you got a chance to use it," Anna said.
"Downright hilarious, I'd imagine."
While his companions wasted time chatting, Snake had been watching their exit. Not surprisingly, a small squad of soldiers suddenly joined their party.
"Contact!" Snake shouted.
Their adversaries were dressed in powered suits that were on a little too tight. All of them were women. Each had been issued an FN F2000, two had shotguns slung across their backs. Snake didn't have time to pin the sidearm but noticed that they also had machetes strapped to their left legs and that they had tiny claws at the end of their feet. Anna immediately scampered off on her own while everybody else began exchanging fire. Raiden moved in to flank them while Big Boss stepped into the line of fire and began gunning down everybody with his AA12. His reflexes were unbelievably quick and compensated for the fact that he wasn't wearing any body armor.
A guttural scream to the left confirmed that Anna had killed her target. One soldier leapt above their cover and attached herself to the wall on the right side of the room. She could now aim above the workstations and had a M8000 in hand since firing the F2000 one-handed would sacrifice too much accuracy. The soldier took aim at Big Boss, who was clearly her target. Big Boss reacted two seconds faster than Snake and had already shot the soldier by the time Snake started firing.
When the haze cleared, all of the bodies spontaneously combusted; millions of dollars' worth of equipment was destroyed in an instant to prevent anyone else from adopting their technology. To Snake, it was an immense waste of resources. Somebody would eventually get a hold of it.
"Ocelot, these soldiers are women," Snake said.
"Really? I couldn't tell by their breasts and hips. Thanks for the info," Ocelot said.
"Who are they?"
"Members of the Patriots private army," Ocelot explained. "Haven troopers. They're supposed to have your suit, but since that's not possible at the moment they're wearing Tengu gear."
"Why are they women?" Snake asked.
"It's supposed to make them more difficult to shoot, but don't feel too guilty about killing them. They are all clones sourced from twenty different females that run off nanomachines designed to make them excellent soldiers."
"They aren't my sisters, are they?"
"No. As we all know, Big Boss clones always ask too many questions. These soldiers were meant to phase out the need to clone Big Boss. The project won't be considered a success unless they manage to kill you or your father."
Big Boss cackled in a rather villainous tone at Ocelot's explanation. Five more soldiers moved in. Anna appeared behind them and drove her nails into the neck of the one at the tail end of the group. She pushed the corpse in-between two Haven soldiers to her left and picked off the two to her right with her newly acquired F2000. The force of the combustion staggered the other two soldiers, who she also gunned down. Anna quickly scampered away from the scene while Raiden took cover at the exit.
Anna took cover at the other side of the exit while the rest of the team moved up. Raiden and Anna checked around the corner and then poured into the hallway with everybody else in tow. Snake sent the elevator up to the main floor to distract the Haven soldiers. They made their way to the stairwell since taking the elevator would be a lot like politely asking the Patriots to kill them.
"Boss, have you already called our ride?" Anna asked.
"He was listening in on our conversations," Big Boss replied. "Help should be on the way."
"Do you really want to place that much faith in Johnny?"
"Good point. Stack up at the doorway, clear the next room, and hold your position for a moment."
Big Boss stood behind and pulled out his radio as Snake and the others secured the area. Three new soldiers would be added to their nightmares.
"Johnny, can you hear me?" Big Boss said.
The radio shrieked and crackled for a moment before becoming surprisingly clear.
"Put on a non-padded bra and stand in front of a mirror," Crazy Colonel Campbell instructed. "Wrap a measuring tape around your back at band level, under each arm and around the front. Measure just above your bust, close to where the straps meet the top of the cup."
"What's he talking about?" Raiden asked.
"He's telling us how to determine our bra size," Anna replied.
"Radio's out," Big Boss said as he discarded it. "They probably sabotaged the vehicles in the garage, so we're walking. Speaking of the garage, that's how we'll get out. Maybe we can steal a vehicle from the Haven soldiers."
"Are you kidding me?" Raiden asked. "They are going to have all the exits covered. We would be walking straight into a trap."
"Kid, there are five of us and I don't know how many of them," Big Boss said. "Everything everywhere is a trap."
This seemed quite desperate. Snake had gone through worse, but he could barely keep down the lump that was forming in his throat. Three scientists ran past the room they were in, but nobody shot at them. Dead soldiers from Big Boss' private army were far more abundant than the scorch marks the Haven soldiers left behind when they expired. They also passed by two civilian casualties and a few other members of the base who were cowering on the floor with their hands over their heads. Gunfire echoed down the hallways as they rushed towards the garage.
When they reached the cafeteria, a mercenary wearing a powered exoskeleton lumbered into their path. The man looked at Big Boss once and began to take aim at him when Big Boss unloaded the AA-12 into his chest. The impacts of the shell staggered him while Anna discarded her rifle and brought him to the ground with a tackle. Her nails made it quite easy to find the latches that secured the helmet to the power suit and sever them, giving her access to the man's head. She then proceeded to pull his throat out because she clearly wasn't squeamish when it came to blood and had not gone through enough nights of waking up at three in the morning covered in sweat still hearing the awful noise her victims made coming from underneath her bed.
Snake had seen enough. He moved up, hooked his arm under Anna's left armpit, and hauled her off the guard, who was still alive and conscious. After shoving Anna into the wall, Snake put one bullet into the man's skull. A wild look was still in Anna's eyes as he turned to face her. Her eyes winced in an expression of pain as she made the mental switch back to the most proper state of mind that she could manage.
"Could you please try to kill people a little faster?" Snake asked.
"I can get caught up in the moment," Anna said with a dismissive shrug.
He tried to determine who the ghost of the fallen soldier was going to haunt and figured it would be him. When they stacked up at the door leading into the garage, Big Boss went in first and was immediately assaulted by such a heavy amount of gunfire that everybody else shirked back into the corridor while he dove behind a truck. Snake took down two soldiers with his M9 by the time they stopped focusing their fire on Big Boss and began aiming at him.
"They're gonna flank us!" Raiden announced as he ran back the way they had come.
Anna and Ocelot followed him while Snake remained where he was. Big Boss unexpectedly jumped back into the bottleneck and scrambled into cover.
"That must be what it's like to be thrown inside a blender," Big Boss said.
"Toss an EMP grenade in there!" Snake ordered. "It might short out something in their suits that will stun them long enough for us to take them down!"
"And that's how you managed to kill me," Big Boss said as he pulled an EMP grenade from his bag. "I absolutely cannot believe I didn't think of that."
Gunfire and screams from behind them confirmed that Raiden had been correct in his assumption that they would be flanked. Snake looked back at them for a moment. Anna had run off again, betting her entire life on surprising the enemy by running right at them with a silly look on her face that she believed made her appear more intimidating. Ocelot was making clever use of ricochets while Raiden was poked out a little further than he should have been, relying on his suit to make him harder to hit.
Big Boss pulled the pin on the EMP grenade and tossed it into the room. An electrical flash that was much larger than Snake anticipated burst from the container and zapped a couple of Haven soldiers, frying their optics. One soldier foolishly took off her helmet, revealing that she was bald. Snake shot her in the neck with a dart and rushed into the garage with Big Boss. The odor of gasoline hung in the air, confirming that the vehicles had been sabotaged.
Snake managed to get into cover behind some shipping crates while Big Boss hid behind a covered truck. More Haven soldiers had discarded their helmets. Reinforcements were pouring in, but Snake couldn't tell from where. Another EMP grenade exploded in the area Big Boss had chosen to focus on. Snake switched to his rifle and fired blindly in an attempt to alleviate the heat on him. The situation was getting a bit desperate. After incapacitating two soldiers who were creeping up on him, he noticed that Big Boss was no longer present. Snake decided to jump back into the hallway with the rest of the cavalry.
A second before making his retreat, he was temporarily stunned by a large explosion. Chunks of cement flew everywhere and more smoke billowed into the room. A large hole had been where one of the bay doors was and an APC sat at the entrance. The turret mounted on top of the vehicle began firing before everybody had fully recovered. It took aim at all of the Haven soldiers. Snake remained where he was. When the room was clear, a voice called out over the lingering chaos.
"Friendlies! Don't shoot!"
It sounded a lot like Meryl. Five soldiers with a familiar logo on their body armor came rushing in. The League of Five had come to their rescue. Snake pointed at the doorway leading into the hall he had just popped out of and the soldiers crowded into the area. Meryl appeared, wearing OctoCamo without the mask. She smirked, gave Snake a little wave, and got back inside the APC just as a second carrier arrived.
Ocelot and Raiden appeared in the garage and followed Snake's finger to the APC Meryl was in. Anna arrived next. She had taken a rather nasty burn to the left side of her body. Snake ushered her towards the vehicle and waited to retreat until the League of Five came back. Out of the corner of his eye, Snake saw the incapacitated body of Chill Penguin lying in the place where she had been after she had set off her plushie, covered in dried blood and still breathing gently. Shadow's corpse was missing.
"Wait!" Snake shouted. "We've got to save that kid. Cover me!"
The League obeyed his command and got into cover. Two Haven soldiers entering the room were immediately incapacitated. Snake picked Chill Penguin up and then caught site of the box that had tried to eat him. He grabbed it.
"Okay, we're good!" Snake shouted.
Snake ran outside and spotted an explosion in the sky. A MI-28H spun around in circles as it slowly descended to the Earth where it crashed. The rocket that had taken it down had come from Big Boss, who wielded a RPG-7. Two APC's driven by the Haven soldiers were immobile near where he had taken up his stand. Judging by the fact that the ground around him was free of snow and charred, he had disposed of quite a few soldiers. Satisfied with his work, Big Boss casually tossed the rocket launcher aside and picked up the bag that held the AI he was in love with. He then began moving in to regroup with his team.
The turret on the APC Meryl was in started firing into the garage again since they hadn't quite killed every single Haven soldier quite yet. The members of the League who had rushed in to rescue them crawled inside the second APC while Snake headed into the one that all of his friends were in. Snake handed Raiden his box, strapped Chill Penguin into a seat, and then took control of the mounted turret. He took off his face camo since it had been bothering his stubble for quite a while and his skin needed a chance to breathe. Raiden followed his example. Meryl looked over her shoulder.
"I cannot believe you grabbed that box," Meryl said.
"How long have you known me?" Snake asked.
"In the middle of a fight, even," she went on, ignoring him. "What's so special about that one? There aren't even any markings on it!"
"It's possessed."
"Great. You're bringing a ghost home with us!"
"I'll put a rosary on top of it and everything will be fine."
Big Boss entered the vehicle and sat down next to Ocelot.
"Take us back to the plane!" Big Boss shouted.
Meryl began driving.
"Where were you?" Snake asked Big Boss.
"Securing our exit," he replied.
"You took out two APC's, a helicopter, and who knows how many soldiers all by yourself?" Snake asked.
"You guys cramp my style. It felt good to be on my own for a few minutes. By the way, I approve."
"Of what? Rescuing Chill Penguin?"
"No. I was referring to taking a box from this operation home with you, although Penguin is a nice touch."
"Why did you hire the League for this job?" Raiden asked.
"I don't know," Big Boss replied, scratching his beard. "Maybe because I probably thought that they might be able to do it?"
"Are they coming with us?"
"Yes. I own them."
"It doesn't look like we're being followed," Snake said.
"I wouldn't follow six people who mowed down about fifty soldiers carrying better gear either," Big Boss said. "I'd send in a Metal Gear and hope for the best."
Their festivities were interrupted by the noise of a cow mooing loudly.
"Speak of the devil," Ocelot said.
"Are you kidding me?" Raiden demanded.
Snake located the source of the sound. A metal monstrosity was heading towards them at full speed, which happened to be a lot faster than what they were traveling. Four more contraptions of the same model were gaining ground in the distance. Their most striking feature was their ugly legs. The APC carrying the League of Five began firing at the approaching entourage.
"What are these things?" Snake asked.
"Gekko's. They're one of the newer Metal Gear's," Big Boss answered.
"And they moo?" Meryl asked.
"They sure do."
"Why?" Snake demanded, completely clueless.
"To lure you into a false sense of security," Big Boss said.
The head of the Gekko reminded him of Rex and even had a radome. Two turrets and a SAM array decorated its crown like deadly scrunchies. The enthusiastic minigun on top of the vehicle carrying the League didn't seem to be slowing down the Gekko very much.
"Do I need to pull over?" Meryl asked.
"Snake, listen carefully," Ocelot said. "Shoot at its groin. The armor is not particularly strong there."
"Why would they overlook something like that when they were designing it?" Raiden asked.
"Maybe you went to the same military academy," Big Boss replied.
"No weapon is perfect, Raiden," Ocelot said. "Except for maybe the AK-47."
"Only within three hundred meters," Big Boss said.
"Exactly. Within three hundred meters, it is the perfect weapon."
"I didn't need to go to an academy," Raiden said defensively. "I've been a soldier ever since I was a kid."
"Guess what? I already know that," Big Boss said. "I seem to remember a certain kid with white hair who always had a finger up his nose when I was in Liberia in 1992."
"I think you're being a bit too hard on the kid, Boss," Anna said. "While it's amusing, I'm sure it's not doing anything for his morale."
"Here's how much I care," Big Boss said.
Big Boss leaned forward and snapped his fingers in front of Anna's mouth. Snake aimed carefully and fired at the groin of the Gekko that had the lead. The monster slowed down and stumbled, but was not taken out of commission. Miffed by being so horribly violated, the Gekko crouched down and jumped towards them. It failed to land on top of their vehicle as it had intended, but the impact caused Meryl to swerve. Snake managed to get a bead on its groin again and unloaded a flurry of bad touches. This time he hit something vital. White blood appeared on the Gekko's hips. It crumbled in on itself and did the splits, which enabled it to land in such a way that it could still kill anybody trying to rush at it. They left it behind, but four more took its place. As if that weren't enough to soil Snake's victory, the League stopped shooting as they had run out of ammo.
"Why aren't they shooting at us?" Raiden asked.
"It's only a matter of time before they do, I assure you," Ocelot replied. "The second we step out of this vehicle, we might have a small problem."
"Does anybody have any rations?" Big Boss asked.
Nobody replied positively. Big Boss scoffed and shook his head.
"I can't even begin to describe how disappointed I am with all of you right now," Big Boss said.
"What could you possibly intend to do with a ration?" Anna asked.
"Didn't I already tell you that carrying rations makes you much more difficult to kill?"
"I thought you were trying to put one over on me."
"When we get out of this, rub some on those burn wounds of yours. Trust me," Big Boss said.
"Oh, definitely. I'll just grab a bag of mashed potatoes and smear them all over my shoulder so I won't have to get a skin graft."
"Don't knock it until you try it," Raiden said.
"Anyway, those Gekko's are obviously waiting for us to get to where we're going," Big Boss said. "I have an idea."
Big Boss took the AI out of his bag and gave his bag to Snake.
"Don't miss," he said.
Snake took five EMP grenades out of the bag, which was all that was left. He attached four to his tactical harness and held the other one in his hand.
"Meryl, drop the back door," Snake said.
"Hang on, everyone!" Meryl said.
The back of the APC opened and Snake jumped out of the vehicle. The Gekko's began firing immediately. His suit matched the different patterns of the snow he touched as he rolled. No bullet struck him. He pulled the pin of the EMP grenade he held as he slowed down and threw it at the nearest Gekko the moment he broke out of his roll. The left leg of the Gekko he had aimed at came up to kick the grenade away, but it exploded too soon and the monster collapsed instantly.
His altercation had captured the attention of the other Gekko's, which were rapidly switching through filters in a desperate attempt to find him. Snake got down on his belly to hide the grenades attached to his harness. If he displayed them, he was certain that the Gekko would spot the potential threat and fill him full of holes. Night vision and thermal vision did not help the Gekko's and since echo location had not been available at their launch, they only had their naked eye to rely on.
Snake grabbed a grenade and tossed it at one of the Gekko's as it looked away from him. That took care of number two, but the third Gekko traced the arc of the throw back to him. Snake rolled out of the way as the Gekko began firing at him. The fourth Gekko spotted the roll, but could not accurately determine where the threat had gone, which was a bug the developers would iron out in the next firmware update after somebody lost their job. Another perfectly timed grenade took care of the trigger happy Gekko. The final one had a chance to rewrite its code to properly predict where Snake was and took aim. Snake pulled off his mask as he popped the pin on the final grenade. This gave the Gekko a clear shot at his head, which caused it to adjust its aim again as the grenade came sailing toward it. Snake dove headfirst into the snow, which confused the final Gekko again. The grenade hit the dome of the Gekko and exploded, frying its processor.
There was absolutely no way that had worked. Snake looked around for his dead body, but all he could find were four Gekko's hanging out in awkward positions. He put on his face mask again and touched his chest, looking for blood. His toes could still wiggle. Snake was still alive. Somehow. Against all odds. Against all logic. This was another story he couldn't tell to a fellow soldier at a bar while they both had a round of oatmeal stout on a rainy summer's eve and discussed matters that civilians could only empathize with because it seemed even more extreme than rappelling down the side of a building while a Hind D had a clear shot at him for ten minutes.
He grabbed his M9, flicked off the safety, and began following the tracks in the snow towards the APC. Meryl had driven farther away than Snake expected. Snake stumbled a bit, his legs feeling like jelly as he had the sensation of being outside his body. The rotors of the Osprey were already spinning when it came into view. Meryl and Raiden were having a conversation about something while Big Boss smoked a cigar. Ocelot looked angry, which was par for the course. Ten League soldiers, five more than Snake expected, were watching the area with their rifles ready. Anna had a set of binoculars she was using and spotted Snake first. She pointed at him and everybody waved.
Their reunion was cut short as they all looked up towards the sky in surprise when he was within ten yards of them. Snake turned around just in time to see a Gekko almost land on top of him. He was thrown to the ground.
"This machine will self-destruct if any of you attempt to move," the machine said in clear English.
Those present who were able to do so recognized the voice as Crazy Colonel Campbell. The Gekko was close enough to Big Boss that he would be taken out by the blast if it exploded. Snake stayed where he was while the optic ball on top of the Gekko's head spun around and observed its surroundings. It centered on Ocelot, who was trying to hide behind Anna.
"You!" Crazy Colonel Campbell shrieked. "That's Ocelot, isn't it? Stand where I can see you."
Ocelot walked away from Anna and stood apart from the rest of the group.
"I knew it," Crazy Colonel Campbell seethed. "You're fired. Where's the AI? Bring it to me."
"What do you intend to do with it?" Ocelot asked, stalling for time.
"I'm going to crush it and then I'm going to blow all of you up with a nuclear warhead to make sure that you are dead."
"You're serious? An actual nuclear missile is going to be dropped on this location?"
The Gekko gave its best attempt to nod.
"You will all explode rather nicely."
"In that case, I won't be giving you the AI. If you destroy it, you'll be spouting gibberish in less than a year."
"You're lying! You always lie! You're a pathological liar!"
"Am I? You are already extremely unstable. Think about what you just said. You're going to launch a nuke? From where? America? Russia? The second you do, the other country is going to notice. What do you think the reaction to that will be?"
"I'll lock down all the other missiles and scramble the satellites, you idiot."
"I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about how you're going to manage the public reaction."
"I have complete control over the media."
"How effectively do you think you're going to be able to manage to cover up the launch and detonation of a nuclear warhead? When people do find out about this, they're going to start asking questions. Even if it's just suits, they will still want to know how the nuke went off by itself so that it will never happen again. They might even be able to trace this mess back to wherever you're located, and then what happens when they figure out that this entire planet is being managed by a computer that is in desperate need of an upgrade that has a virus in its system? What will that say about your reliability?"
"I will tell everybody not to worry about it!"
"You do not have that level of control over humanity."
Crazy Colonel Campbell was left speechless. While it was distracted, Snake began to slowly reach for the last EMP grenade he had on his harness. A sharp piercing pain gripped his heart. Snake gasped in agony, causing the Gekko to look at him for a moment and then back at Ocelot. Meryl moved forward towards Snake, but the Gekko shot at her feet.
"You need that AI," Ocelot said, stepping forward and putting attention back on himself. "In fact, you need five more of them. If you want to kill us, then by all means give it a try, but don't destroy the AI and do not use a nuclear warhead."
"How else am I supposed to kill you worms?!" the AI shrieked in pure rage.
"Learn how to shoot," Big Boss said.
Having a heart attack did not get easier the more it happened. Snake grabbed the EMP grenade and pulled the pin. Each and every movement was like trying to fish a key out of a barrel full of freshly poured cement. Snake's consciousness was beginning to fade and his hearing wasn't doing any better, but the Gekko had to be stopped.
Without launching into another monologue, the Gekko abruptly focused its guns on Big Boss. Raiden tackled him just before the Gekko began shooting. With his last ounce of strength, Snake lobbed the grenade straight at the Gekko's groin. Snake then went completely limp. The grenade exploded, spraying Snake with some shrapnel and frying his suit. The Gekko's head collapsed a mere centimeter from his foot. Meryl immediately ran over to him. Her trembling hands went through his packs while he stared up at the moonless sky. She found the last vial of Aglaophotis and jammed it in his neck. It looked like he wouldn't be dying today after all.
"I quit," Snake muttered.
Meryl smirked. Ocelot rushed to her aid. They lifted Snake up by his armpits.
"Let me go. I can walk," Snake said.
"That's cute, David," Meryl said.
They watched Raiden crawled off Big Boss. He offered the man his hand to help him get back up on his feet.
"Kid, I guess you're alright," Big Boss said. "Even if you are barely tolerable."
Big Boss took Raiden's hand and got out of the snow. Everybody walked into the Osprey.
"I need a medic right now!" Big Boss shouted.
A member of the League who looked no different from any of the other soldiers dropped what he was doing, rushed over to Big Boss, and stood to receive further orders. Big Boss pointed at Snake.
"Get that suit off of him and pump him full of as much morphine as he can possibly stand," Big Boss said. "I want him as relaxed as possible for the duration of our flight. Make sure that you are continuously monitoring his heart rate. If something happens and you need help, flail your arms wildly or something if you absolutely can't break your oath of silence."
The mercenary saluted him and waited for Meryl and Ocelot to get Snake seated on a bench before approaching him. All three of them worked together to get Snake out of his suit. Snake groaned in exasperation, but allowed them to handle him as he worked on being a bit more than barely conscious. Since his suit was damaged, it was easy to peel it off of him. Anna appeared and covered him in a few blankets she had managed to find. Meryl let Snake's head rest in her lap as the medic pumped him full of morphine.
He thought about telling them that he had just about had it. Three heart attacks in less than two days was quite an achievement. He could only find comfort in the fact that Aglaophotis took the pain away. The more he took, the faster it would get out of his system. Hopefully. Naomi's theory was the only thing keeping him out of a crevice full of absolute despair. Snake noticed that he was starting to sweat profusely, but he was finding it harder to be concerned with such matters.
"I think I'm going to take a nap," Snake said.
Meryl held his head steady and positioned her fingers over his jugular vein and let them stay there. Snake quickly drifted off into a drug induced stupor.
X
Satisfied that all was well, Big Boss picked up Snake's M9 and got back to business. While on his way to the cockpit, he passed Chill Penguin. She was stirring from her slumber. Big Boss shot her in the shoulder with another dart and let her fall of the bench and onto the floor of the Osprey. None of them needed to deal with her hijinks.
"Ocelot, check this woman for bugs," Big Boss said from where he stood.
He walked into the cockpit where Johnny was standing by in the co-pilot's seat with a thick manual on how to fly a plane in his lap. Johnny looked absolutely haggard. He was not qualified to fly any sort of vehicle, but he had been able to understand how the onboard computer had functioned. When the Osprey's computer was properly programmed, it could fly on its own and could substitute as a pilot, but leaving it to its own whims was a little dangerous. Johnny had been watching it the entire time.
Big Boss sat in the pilot's seat. He put on a headset and patched his voice through the onboard speaker. "We're moving."
Johnny exhaled a sigh that took three pounds off his weight. This was the perfect time to give him a quiz.
"What's this?" Big Boss asked, pointing at a certain part on the instrument panel.
"The fuel flow gauge," Johnny replied.
"What's this one over here with all the nobs and stuff?"
"The scrambler."
"And what have you been doing with it all this time?"
"Keeping the meter all the way to the right."
"How close did it come to the middle?"
"About five points, but not for very long. It never went to the left."
"That still means that there is a slight chance that we're going to get shot down, Johnny. Do you intend to rectify this with an apology?"
"Y-Yes?"
"Save it. Get me Campbell."
In less than a minute, Johnny had managed to contact Campbell and patch him through to Big Boss.
"This is Big Boss. Confirmation code is S-Z-U-Y. Please finish," Big Boss said.
"P-Z-V-G," Campbell replied. "Is Snake okay?"
"He's fine," Big Boss said, lying without hesitating. "Is Naomi going to have some extra needles ready by the time we get back?"
"Yes."
"Good. Have the tenth code ready in case I need to talk to you again."
"We already used that one at Snake's house," Campbell said.
"That's right, Campbell. We did. I'm just making sure you remembered. Use the second code the next time we talk. Over and out."
Big Boss ended the transmission with Campbell and turned to look at Johnny, who had his nose buried in his book.
"Are the escorts in the area? I didn't hear any jets while I was on the ground."
"Yes, I just checked in with them right before you came in."
"Great. Take the wheel, would you?"
"Without the computer?!"
Big Boss flicked a couple of switches. "That's right, Maverick."
The book Johnny had been reading flew out of his hands as he grabbed the wheel so hard his knuckles cracked. Big Boss got out of his seat.
"I'll be back in a moment. Keep the plane steady and make sure all those meters stay where they are supposed to be and we might not crash."
"Whatever you say, Boss!" Johnny exclaimed in fear.
Big Boss smiled as he left the cockpit. He really needed to stop being such a jerk to pansies, but it was just too easy. Johnny would get a proper reward and a positive performance review a little later. He made his way back to Ocelot, who put down a small scanning device he had managed to find on board amidst the various supplies.
"The girl is clean," Ocelot said.
"Walk with me."
The two men approached Solid Snake. Meryl was still with him, but Anna was absent.
"Son, are you awake?" Big Boss asked Snake.
Snake groaned.
"Here's what happens next, kids," Big Boss said. "Once we have that anime guy, we'll be flying to one of my many luxurious manors. In addition to the usual amenities you would expect, there's a hidden command center that has been built to Ocelot's specifications. We'll plug the AI in there. Naomi will be coming with us and she will have full access to a fully equipped nanomachine lab. Snake, try to stay alive a little bit longer, okay?"
". . .fire. . ." Snake muttered.
"What's that?" Big Boss asked.
"Do you have. . .fire extinguishers?"
"There's no need for those. Naomi is going to make me some nanomachines that will turn me into Jean Grey and then I won't have to worry about getting burned alive ever again."
"You want that. . .to happen so bad. . .I can tell," Snake said, almost intelligibly.
"It will," Big Boss said. "I'm sure that by 2018 we'll have people running around with nanomachines in them that will pretty much make them superheroes at the rate things are going."
A scream coming from the restroom interrupted their discussion. Big Boss had the M9 aimed in that direction instantaneously. Anna came stumbling out of the loo with a ration bag clutched in one hand. Mashed potatoes and gravy dripped down her injured arm, which looked like it had downgraded her third degree burn to a first degree burn. Her eyes were wild with confusion and shock. Goosebumps dotted her entire body.
"It works," Anna said in complete disbelief.
"I told you so," Big Boss said as he lowered his gun.
Anna stumbled to the nearest wall and slumped down to the floor so her brain could shut down as many processes as it possibly could to direct its entire capacity to trying to figure out how the food had healed her. Big Boss almost told her to not even bother trying, but decided to say nothing. He put his arm around Ocelot's shoulder and led him away from the rest of the group.
"Let's discuss some of the finer details of my plan," Big Boss said in a low voice.