❅❄❅ When the Snow Falls ❅❄❅
The week after Ivan slept over lasted forever for Matthew. He lived his normal routine; waking up, going to school, helping dad cook, playing games with Alfred, Arthur helped him with homework and so on. He continued to text Ivan throughout the day and he even video chatted with him one night. Everything was casual between them, though Matthew had a lot on his mind about their relationship.
He liked Ivan Braginsky, and he knew that for sure. He had the normal, very lovely, symptoms of having a crush. Ivan's smile, voice, face, and smell was on his mind a lot, he began to get jittery when he called or sent him a text, and he dreamed about him. The dreams usually consisted of hugging, cuddling and very sometimes, a kiss or two. Better yet, he felt comfortable talking to and being around Ivan. He was never able to approach a crush without being scared before.
The only problem was he didn't know if Ivan was ready. He still hadn't told him or left a hint of that certain part of his past, other than how he hadn't relapsed in three months. Matthew didn't think it was vital information concerning if he wanted to date Ivan or not, but more of if they had known each other well enough to start off a relationship.
But didn't people take things slow in the beginning anyway? Matthew knew this, he wasn't new to dating. That doesn't mean Ivan would rather him get to know his past before taking that step. After thinking about it over the week, he decided he needed to talk to someone about it.
Francis was the obvious choice; he had already meddled in their business a little before. He has been friends with Ivan for a long time, too. There wasn't exactly anyone else he could ask. His brothers, though he always came to them with problems, were out of the question anyway. They had noticed the way he would 'skip through the hallways and rooms like a happy dog in tall grass' but he decided to keep it at 'I'm in a good mood' rather than 'I have the hots for the Russian cutie that was over last weekend.' He didn't need them snooping, too.
Lucky for him, Francis had already agreed to hang out that Friday a week prior. After school ended, Matthew walked with Francis to his car. The look on Francis' face while they made small talk about their week said it all. He knew Matthew had to talk about with him. He waited until the doors were shut and the car was turned on.
"So, how are you and Ivan coming along?" he asked, completely cutting off from his explanation of the debate he had with his government teacher.
"How did you know I needed to talk to you about Ivan?" Matthew questioned.
"It's all about body language, Mathieu, and you're so obvious with your dazing and blushing." Matthew bit his lip. "Everything is going well, no?"
"Of course," Matthew answered. "I've actually been thinking about asking him out." Francis stopped the car suddenly before he pulled out of the school's parking lot, nearly sending Matthew out the window if it weren't for his seatbelt.
"You are?!" Francis smiled, looking like he was about to cry.
"Yes," Matthew breathed. "Don't do that, someone could have hit you from behind," the car behind them honked. "Like them!"
"But Matthew," Francis pulled out of the parking lot swiftly. "I couldn't help it. Last time you tried asking someone out, you begged me to help you. You don't even look nervous talking about it!"
"Well, I'm comfortable around Ivan," Matthew replied. "Though I don't know if I should ask him just yet,"
"Because he hasn't told you?"
"Bingo. It's just that if he's not so ready to tell me, I don't think he would say yes to a relationship,"
"He's comfortable with telling you, he's just waiting for an appropriate time. And I would wait awhile after when he tells you, too, just so you get used to knowing his weak points and triggers. You wouldn't change your mind even if it's that bad, would you?"
"Of course not!" Matthew frowned at him. "I wouldn't think of leading him on in the first place, knowing he didn't have a peachy past, just to reject him in the end,"
"Good," Francis touched his shoulder and shook him. "You should know that he probably is afraid that that might happen, no matter how well he knows you."
"Did he assume you were going to think differently of him after he told you?"
"Yes, and I knew him for much longer than you. Anyone with a past feels that way, even me. You just need to be gentle when he comes out and tells you. I held his hand while he told me, and I asked first. I made sure my expression stayed content or concerned, it's a long story and you might get angry towards some of the things said or done by the people involved, just don't express it."
"And consider his feelings towards the subject rather than mine?"
"Unless he asks, yes,"
"And don't touch him unless he gives consent?"
"That applies to anytime,"
Matthew laughed. "True,"
"Just ask him if he needs anything, stay by his side unless he asks for time alone, he held onto me when it came to telling me, but you're not me. He could always want something different when it will come to you."
"Thanks Francis," Matthew fell into silence. "But since we're on the subject of this, when do you think he would tell me?"
"He told me he's been waiting for a good time so maybe soon,"
"Right,"
The Tuesday after his talk with Francis, Ivan had called unexpectedly while Matthew was playing video games. Matthew paused his game, turned down the volume and answered his phone.
"Hey Ivan,"
"Hello Matthew, did I call at a bad time?"
"No, you didn't. Do you need something?"
"Yeah, sorta. I didn't want to wait until night to ask. Do you want to come over this weekend? I wanted to ask last weekend but you told me you were busy with Francis so I didn't want to… Sorry I'm rambling."
"It's okay, Ivan," Matthew smiled warmly. "I'll get Arthur or Alfred to drive me,"
"Are you sure? My mom could probably pick you up,"
"I can't trouble your mother with doing something for me; I don't even know her yet. Arthur will bring me,"
"Okay, thanks Matthew."
"Don't thank me, silly, thank you for inviting me."
"You're welcome, Matthew," the two got quiet for a second, then laughed silently with each other.
"I'll see you then."
(2:34) To Ivan:
Hey, Alfred's about to bring me over.
(2:41) To Ivan:
You there?
"Matthew, put your phone down and help me with your bags," Alfred called from the hallway.
"There's only one,"
"The bear counts, too,"
Matthew sighed. "Okay," he put his phone in his pocket and took his backpack from Alfred. After they got situated in the car and Alfred pulled out of the driveway, Matthew peeked down at his phone again. Ivan still hadn't replied. He must be taking a nap, or he's just busy, he thought.
"I thought it wasn't supposed to snow until next week!" Alfred complained. Matthew looked up from his phone. There were a few flakes falling from the sky.
"I'm sure it's an unexpected, short snowfall," Matthew told him. "You'll live,"
"I fucking hate the cold," He grumbled.
"It's not that bad, maybe we'll be able to stay home from school next week if it comes down fast enough. Then you wouldn't have to go outside and fight with it,"
"Right," he replied. "If it does get worse, I might have to come get you early tomorrow." Matthew made a sad face at him. "Or I could get mom to go get you instead," he added. Matthew smiled.
He pulled up into Ivan's driveway and unlocked the door. "Have fun, Mattie."
"I will," Matthew grabbed his bag and Kumajirou and pulled them out of the car. "Thanks for driving me,"
"Don't thank me, I'm your brother, it's what I'm supposed to do,"
"THANK YOU ALFRED I LOVE YOU!" Matthew yelled.
"Okay, okay!" Alfred laughed. "You're welcome, it wasn't a problem, and I love you, too. Now close the door and have fun, the cold is coming in,"
"Well actually the warm air is-"
"Close the damn door Mattie," Alfred gave him a scary grin. Matthew laughed and shut the door. He waved goodbye to his brother as he pulled out of the driveway. He made his way to the front door of the Braginsky's almost-castle-of-a-house and knocked.
Mrs. Braginsky answered the door. "Hello, you must be Matthew," she smiled nicely at him. She was a beautiful women; Matthew could tell Ivan got a lot of nice aspects from her. She shared the face shape with him and Katyusha, and her eyes matched Natalya's.
"I am," She let Matthew in. "It's very nice to meet you," He felt the leg of pants get tugged gently. He looked down to see Ivan's younger sister looking up at him.
"Hi Matthew," she greeted him.
"Hello Natalya, how are you?"
"I'm fine,"
"Honey, I think you should move your project to the table." Her mom told her.
"But I like it down here," she uttered. "It's comfortable."
"Very well," She turned back to Matthew. "Ivan's in his room down the hall. Do you need anything?"
"Oh no thanks,"
"Are you sure?" She asked.
"Yes,"
"We have hot chocolate,"
"That does sound nice, but maybe later, I'm sure Ivan's been waiting for me,"
"Of course," she smiled. "If you need anything, feel free to ask. We can run to the store if you need anything."
"I'm sure whatever you have here is good for me, thank you," Mrs. Braginsky leaned over and kissed his forehead. As he walked down the hall to Ivan's room, he wiped the lipstick stain off his forehead the best he could.
He gave the door a knock. No answer.
"Ivan?" He called.
"Matthew?" He heard Ivan's voice from the other side of the door, along with a few unidentifiable sounds.
"Can I come in?" Matthew asked. The pause after his question made him go from calm to completely worried. "Ivan, are you okay?"
"Yes, but I'm sorry Matthew, don't come in right now," Matthew hands began to quiver. "This was bad timing, I'm sorry. I'm fine, I swear. Just don't come in."
"Ivan," Matthew felt a panic attack come over him. Was he relapsing? "Are you sure you don't need me in there?"
"I'm sure, give me five minutes, and just don't say anything to my mom, please. The bathroom is on the other end of the hall, go there if you must,"
"Okay," Matthew felt someone walk up behind him. He froze when he realized it was Ivan's mom.
"Matthew," she whispered, still keeping a friendly tone. "I think Natalya needs help on her little project."
"I'll go help," Matthew backed away from the door. Mrs. Braginsky grabbed his arm. "Everything's fine, we'll talk about this later," she took a paper clip from her pocket, bent an edge out and picked the lock on Ivan's door in under a few seconds. Matthew turned and left the hall before she opened the door all the way.
"That corner needs more stars," Natalya pointed out.
"I think so, too," Matthew picked up the yellow marker and started drawing stars.
"Didn't you come here to hang out with my brother?" She asked.
"Yeah but art is important," Matthew didn't look up from the poster board.
"So is he," She muttered. She had stopped coloring and was now sitting up and focusing on Matthew. "Is he okay?"
Matthew didn't know for sure, even if Mrs. Braginsky and Ivan had assured him everything was alright, but he was going to take their word for it. "Yes, he is,"
"He hasn't relapsed in three months," Matthew stopped drawing. "I may be twelve but my family doesn't sugar coat Ivan's problems to me, so tell me the truth," Her voice was harsher and strict. Matthew hoped she would believe him.
Matthew looked up at her. "That's what your mom and Ivan told me, but I don't know for sure. I want to say he's going to be okay,"
Natalya nodded. "He's been getting better lately. He spends less time in his room, but I know he still haunts him."
"He?"
"You don't know, do you?"
"I don't," Matthew confessed. "Ivan hasn't been able to tell me,"
"My brother really likes you,"
"I know, I like him, too,"
"No," She shook her head. "He talks about you like you're the only thing that exists for him to talk about." Matthew swallowed hard, feeling the tips of his ears start to tingle. "I heard him tell Katyusha that he would never like someone again a couple years ago, and he didn't, not until you came along. So my brother likes you." She was staring worriedly at him now, Matthew didn't quite know how to reply to that.
If he were in her position and this was Arthur or Alfred involved, he would want to hear how someone would come along and help his brother in the most convincing way. But the perfect words of comfort are hard to come by and he can't promise her anything.
"I can't promise to fix your brother,"
"I know,"
"But as far as I'm concerned, I'm by your brother's side and staying there." Matthew was almost in tears, but he kept his voice quiet and soft. "Whatever he did, whoever he is, I'm going to see the day Ivan forgets his name,"
Natalya didn't reply; Matthew heard the door from a few rooms over creak open.