A/N: I've decided to come back to edit this story. I enjoyed writing it the first time, and have enjoyed editing it to (hopefully) a little bit of a better standard.
"I can't," I held back all my emotions with very ounce of energy that I had.
"Amelia, please." He took a step towards me with his hand outstretched.
I quickly took several steps back, wrapping my arms around my torso. "Leave, Embry."
I couldn't bear to look at his face. Embry couldn't cover his own emotion as I did. I could see the sadness and desperation in his eyes as well as his quivering body.
"Get out. I don't want you here." I made sure to keep my face blank as my eyes bore into his. I hoped he would leave so I wouldn't crack.
"Y-you don't want me," Embry whispered. The quivering had changed into full blown body vibrations.
He abruptly turned and disappeared out the rear door of the house with a loud bang. I could only stand there for a few moments, the silence engulfing me.
My car keys were in my hand and my feet in my sneakers when I suddenly noticed that I was locking the front door and running to my car. The familiar rumbling of the engine almost scared me. My wheels flicked up the gravel on the road as I sped out of the reservation that I had grown up in.
As I passed the Forks town sign an earsplitting pain filled howl sounded. I pushed further down on the acceleration to escape.
The entire ride I was still boxing up everything carefully in my mind, filing the look on Embry's pained face into a dark corner that I hoped to never look at again. I had carefully constructed a wall to hide it all from him in order to get him to believe I didn't care about him.
It was lies though. I did care about him. Not only was he my best friend, but I had stupidly harbored a crush on Embry. It was too late for any of that now though. It was him that didn't want me.
It had been hours since I had left La Push, and I had no clue as to where I had gone. For all I knew I was somewhere in Canada.
I couldn't keep it in check anymore. I quickly pulled over onto the side of a nearly empty road and began to sob my heartache. Tears streamed down my face as I gasped for oxygen. My heart throbbed and beat against my bones painfully.
I truly was pathetic. A pathetic excuse for an imprint, at the very least.
Finally, my sobbing subsided. Through teary eyes I spotted a store. I grabbed my card and angrily slammed the car door shut as I got out. My emotions were a roller coaster I hated. I didn't want to be like this. I didn't want to feel anything.
The cashier was very chirpy as she scanned my pack of energy drinks and chips. "Have a good day!"
"Yes, you too." I tried desperately to gather my things as the people in the line behind me tapped their shoes impatiently.
Opening the door, once again, I tossed the bag onto the passenger seat and slid into the driver's.
My body felt heavy, limp even, and I didn't know what was happening to me.
Everything in my mind clicked together like some sick puzzle. I was broken. The imprint magical whatever had broken me. My body and mind would be in a permanent state of 'I don't know' and pain.
I wanted nothing to do with it anymore. I didn't want him. At this thought my stomach flipped painfully. I didn't want any of this. I certainly didn't want to live the rest of my life in pain because our ancestors had selected a man that didn't want to be forced into marriage with me.
My heart thrummed at the thought of marriage and Embry. I quickly squashed this thought, filing into that same corner of my mind as Embry's anguish.
My once normal existence would forever be plagued with the knowledge that vampires existed. If I wanted to remain safe from the bloodsuckers I would have to stay in La Push because the wolves protect the tribe. I would have to go through every day seeing the pack and their imprints being happily in love. Some will have children soon, so I'll be on the front line watching them get their happily ever after as promised by the spirits.
The only other option I had was to move to the army base located in Arizona. That's where Dad had some friends who were still at home. Some of them had kids around my age, although I remember that a couple of them were a year or two older than me. They could move on with whatever they wanted whereas I was still stuck here.
Arizona was nice, I guess. It was really hot there. I'd probably incinerate the second I crossed the imaginary border to the state. The transition from freezing La Push to boiling Arizona.
I reached my hand out to the passenger seat to grab an energy drink. Something incredibly soft, mattered, touched my fingertips. My heart beat rocketed, my breathing stopped instantaneously.
My eyes swiveled to the side and saw… saw the carrier bag that held my purchases.
I'm an idiot. An overthinking idiot.
I quickly downed a can and tossed it over my headrest once it was empty.
I needed to go home. I had worn these clothes for days, and hadn't had a real shower. Luckily I had found a hat that could hide my greasy hair. I was officially a tramp.
I paid more attention on the slow drive back, half of being safe and half of wanting to draw out the inevitable.
All too soon I was in Forks. I hated this place now. I hated the entire state of Washington. I hated myself because I didn't want to be sour about this. About a guy! Even though said guy was my best friend, and just so beautiful- but none of that mattered. This imprint magic had effectively destroyed our friendship.
I didn't want to never see Embry again. He was always my best friend, the thought of never being near him again sent shockwaves through my body.
As the wheels of my car rolled past the La Push sign, I felt myself becoming numb. This imprinting was going to kill me. This was the end of Amelia Rivercrest. God, I'm so dramatic.
As soon as the engine was off I rushed to the door of my lonely, cold home. I made sure to lock the door behind me. Like that would actually prevent anything entering my home.
"Oh my god!" A female voice screeched. I was snatched up into a tight, oxygen stopping hug.
I didn't even pull back. I couldn't figure out who it was from this angle and I lacked the energy to move.
The girl let me go, allowing my lungs to refill with air. I began to realize who it was then. It was my older sister, who I hadn't seen since I was fourteen. It was Olivia.
"Why are you here?" I found myself asking. I was confused.
She said she'd never come back here after Dad was deployed, and when Mom left- because she's a traveling saleswoman- it only solidified her decision.
I basically had the house to myself seeing as I am perfectly capable of cooking and maintaining a house well enough. Over the years I even had a few notches in my belt in DIY projects.
"I got a call saying you had disappeared! I was worried about you." She exclaimed, lightly squeezing my upper arms.
"I took a little vacation away from the rez. It was the very first day of summer break so I chose to treat myself," I lied expertly.
"Fine, ok, sorry. I just panicked when Jared called me," Olivia sighed.
"Jared called you?" My head titled to the side slightly. Why hadn't Embry called her himself?
Wait, stop Amelia, don't do this to yourself.
"Yes, he did. He said that no one had seen you for a couple of days and asked if you were with me."
I nodded. "Well, I'm ok and safe so you can resume with the whole texting each other every night thing." I laughed despite not feeling the implied happiness.
"Yeah, I left Jack at home and he'll probably have set the house on fire."
We shared hugs, 'I love you's and I gave her a quarter of my stockpile of Reese's that I realistically knew I wouldn't finish off. Especially now that it was eating for one normal human.
I was pretty good at lying by now- though I prefer to call it acting. Living alone I hadn't wanted to worry anyone. Completely independent. I could pretend to be perfectly fine without much effort needed for the person to actually believe me.
As soon as her truck was around the street corner I stopped smiling, my shoulders slumped and my crying began again.
I went into the kitchen and pulled out a tupperware from the fridge warm in the microwave.
I sat at the table when it hit me. Not the crying, as that had already started. It was the worst pain I'd ever experienced. It cut deep in my gut. I cleared throat, hoping it would push the feeling away, but it did nothing.
The microwave beeped, but I no longer felt hungry. I took it out, scolding my hand as I wrapped it in aluminium foil.
Tears became endless. My face and sweater were severely damp. A sob occasionally escaped as the agony only seemed to worsen.
"I'm sorry," I sobbed. "I'm sorry I took it from you. That you had no say on who you wanted."
It was useless, of course. From Facebook I saw that Carla was going on a date. I guess Embry finally asked her out.
The very thought intensified the pain. Is it possible to die from a broken heart? It felt like it was killing me slowly.
I got up suddenly, ran to my bedroom and stripped off all my clothes and changing into my running gear and a thin jacket. It was so cold without a wolf's warmth, I thought grimly.
I left through the same door Embry had stormed through days earlier, music blasting in my ears from my headphones as I ran through the thin trees.
The hilly and rough terrain was the challenge I needed to take my mind away from everything. This was a distracting technique I used to avoid something. I loved to run. It presented me with the challenge when trying to dash over the tricky, unmarked paths I took. Due to this, it required my full concentration to not trip and therefore break my ankle.
"And I find it hard to not to leave," I quietly sang. "And let go."
A chill rattled my bones. I felt like I was being watched. I abruptly stopped, spun around only to see an empty forest behind me. I resumed back on my usual patch, picking up the pace.
"I'm gonna throw caution to the wind." I mumbled along with the song, only ceasing because it was taking more breath out of me.
I was exhausting myself. I mean, I was already exhausted from the lack of sleep and lack of food, but running like this always took the wind out my sails.
Suddenly, arms wrapped around my waist. I struggled against them. The arms disappeared from my body in the frantic struggling; I quickly spun with my fists held up. I doubted that I'd be a good fighter, but for self-defense I could hold my own. Try or die.