❅❄❅ When the Snow Falls ❅❄❅
For the rest of that afternoon, Ivan and Matthew lay on his bed, cuddled and watched Community. During the episodes, they commented and laughed together, but in between, they took the time to kiss each other a little.
Apart from the simple pecking they usually stuck to, Matthew could tell Ivan either didn't have any experience or time didn't do too well on his skills when it came to kissing. Or maybe he was very eager to kiss. This didn't bother Matthew; he actually thought it was cute. He waited until the end of the episode they were watching to crawl over on top of Ivan, bearing a pretty smile.
"Hey," Ivan shifted comfortably under Matthew before he got relaxed being on top of him. They grazed their lips against the others' briefly, enjoying being close rather than the kiss in general. Matthew touched his chin and moved it upwards lightly.
"Close your eyes and take it slow," he whispered. Ivan silently agreed and closed his eyes. Matthew propped in and laid his lips against his. Ivan obligated to Matthew's wants and resumed the kiss patiently and slowly. When Matthew pulled away, Ivan looked at him with confusion and yearning. Instead of trying to kiss him again, Ivan seemed to be waiting to be kissed by him again.
Matthew slid his glasses off and set them on the night stand sitting adjacent to the bed. He didn't waste time to kiss him again; applying just a little more pressure than before but still taking it gradually. Ivan tried moving faster, but Matthew parted from him again.
"Sorry," he uttered softly, his eyes examining Matthew's. "Am I a bad kisser?"
Matthew smiled. "No, just fervent." He assured him, rolling to his side next to Ivan.
"And inexperienced. I haven't really full-on kissed anyone in years." Ivan positioned himself on his side and close to the other. Their hands were all over each other.
"Me neither, that's why we need to get a feel for each other first." They kissed again, calmly and slowly with only each other's breathing being heard. Matthew felt Ivan's tongue momentarily touch his lower lip.
"Sorry." He apologized between a few pecks.
"It's fine," Matthew moved his hand up to Ivan's head. "Open your mouth a little." Ivan did as he was told and Matthew gently kissed him, moving his tongue to gaze across the inner part of the other's upper lip. Ivan's breathing fastened.
Matthew clutched the back of his head gently and pushed Ivan closer to him. Their lips met for a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss. Ivan let out a satisfying sigh in between even more messy lip contact. Matthew used more tongue, teasingly touching Ivan's. Now Matthew was being eager, but Ivan didn't seem to mind it at all. He now had Matthew enveloped in his arms, under him and breathing heavily from his touches and kisses.
"Do you mind if I'm rough with you?" he whispered after several sentimental kisses.
"Not at all… Please…" Matthew breathed. Ivan was about to ask if they were moving too fast but Matthew pulled him in for another mouthful kiss. They didn't bother pulling back in between. Instead they kept kissing jaggedly and moving their hands across the other's back, arm or face. A minute in, Ivan felt Matthew slow down a little so he gently lifted himself from him.
"Wow." They both panted.
"I'm sorry," Matthew apologized, trying to take control of his breathing. "I probably should have asked first,"
"Don't apologize, it's fine," He leaned in and laid a few small kisses up Matthew cheek. "I'm enjoying myself if you are."
"You're okay with this much intimacy so soon?"
"Are you?"
"Y-Yeah, but…"
"Matthew," Ivan was up to his temple, nuzzling his messy blond hair. "You worry too much about me. I appreciate it but I swear I'm fine. I'm more than fine, actually. I don't think anything you could do could upset me unless you tried upsetting me. Which, I don't think you would."
"I won't." Matthew whispered.
"So relax," they smiled at each other. "Let's enjoy each other right now, okay?"
Mrs. Braginsky came and got them when dinner was ready. In the middle of eating, Ivan's dad had arrived home. Matthew noticed, other than the violet eyes and body type, Ivan didn't look much like his father as he did with his mother, but he did act like his dad. Unlike Mrs. Braginsky, Mr. Braginsky was more to himself and shy. He didn't speak much other than introducing himself to Matthew. Mrs. Braginsky, Ivan and Katyusha made most of the conversation at the table; asking Matthew questions and getting to know him better.
Deep down, Matthew was quite nervous when it came to meeting Ivan's family as he was about hearing Ivan's past. But now, everything was in place without much stress. He was closer to Ivan, Ivan was clearly going about his past better now, and he was easily accepted into the family without any trouble.
After dinner, Matthew helped Ivan clean the dishes and put up the leftovers.
"No, no," Mr. Braginsky intervened, taking a plate from Ivan's hands. "I'll do the dishes; you two should go hang out."
"No, dad," Ivan held onto the plate. "We got this." Mr. Braginsky got Ivan to let go of the plate and he lifted it up out of his reach.
"Go," Ivan frowned, looking angry. Matthew backed away, thinking he was going to yell or something but Ivan went back to smiling and hugged his dad.
"Okay, come on Matthew," He took Matthew's hand and took him down to the hall.
"Your dad seems cool,"
"He tries to be cool, but I guess that's what makes him cool."
Once they got back to the room, it took three seconds to nonverbally agree to kiss again. Ivan positioned his arm around Matthew's waist and slowly brought his down to the bed. Matthew hands were hung onto the top of his shirt, but he moved one arm around his neck and pulled Ivan closer by his collar.
They heard the door Ivan neglected to close all the way creaked open slowly, revealing Katyusha. After opening his eyes and making eye contact with her, Matthew scrambled to get out of Ivan's clasp while Ivan just turned his head to look at his sister.
"Hi, do you need something?" Ivan asked. How can he just casually speak to her while holding me over his bed like this? Ivan thought to himself, his whole face turning red.
"Yes," Katyusha smiled and rolled into the room, gently closing the door behind her. Ivan's grip loosened and he stood up. Matthew immediately got on the bed and laid face down, covering his face with his hands.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry," He repeated.
"It's okay Matthew, I'm sorry for scaring you." She looked over at Ivan. "And I'm sorry for interrupting. Are you doing okay? Mom and Nat told me you relapsed."
Ivan nodded. "Yeah, took a nap, had one of those dreams again." He lifted up his hand. "I punched the wall."
"Aw! Again?" She gestured for Ivan to come closer and took hold of his hand.
"I recovered from it pretty quickly,"
"Was Matthew here when it happened?" Matthew looked up from the bed sheets when she had asked.
"No, he came right after it happened." Katyusha bit her lip. "I'm fine, Kat. Really! I'm sure it won't happen again for a long time, if it even happens again." Katyusha nodded, starting to tear up. "Kat… No… Don't cry." Ivan bent over and hugged his sister.
"Oh Ivan, I'm just so happy things have been going so much better, even after relapsing again. I'm so happy." She cried more.
"You don't sound like it." Ivan laughed, hugging her tighter.
"I am." They let go of each other and she moved to the side of the bed so she was able to see Matthew. "It's great to see you again, Matthew. And it'll be great seeing you more. Take care, okay?"
"Okay, it's nice seeing you, too." She gestured for him to come to her, scooting back her wheelchair a little. Matthew got off the bed and was pulled into another crushing hug, as expected.
"I'll be going now," She told them after letting go of Matthew. "Have fun you two." She looked up at Ivan. "And remember that talk we had the other day. Top shelf in the bathroom closet." She winked. Ivan gasped suddenly and covered his face with his hands, much like Matthew had done earlier.
After she left, Matthew sat back down on the bed. "What was that about?"
"Nothing, Matthew. Kat just likes to mess with me." He smiled nervously, his face still red.
"Oh, alright." Matthew decided to let it go, though he was still suspicious. "Want to watch more community?"
"Sure!"
Curled up, holding onto Kumajiro, and cuddled close to Ivan was how Matthew fell asleep. He didn't quite remember when he did, but he knows he dozed off, probably thinking he was just going to shut his eyes for a minute.
He woke up suddenly, noticing this. The TV was turned off, the room was dark, his glasses were off and he was no longer huddled against his warm boyfriend. None of those things were what he focused on first, but to weeping.
Ivan was crying. Matthew instantly overcame his sleepy mode and went into sudden panic.
"I-Ivan?" He felt he was close. His hand roamed towards his direct and he gently touched what he assumed was his arm, leg or side. "Ivan, oh are…"
A loud, bloodcurdling scream punctured Matthew's ears, and afterwards other sounds that Matthew could assume was Ivan pulling away from him and falling off the bed. The sheets and comforter were pulled off of him, too.
Matthew crawled to the end of Ivan's side of the bed and turned on the light. On the ground laid Ivan, crying louder than before and clutching onto the discarded blankets that he was tangled up in on the ground with his head pressed against them as if he was cowering from a monster.
"He won't fucking… He won't fucking get out of my head!" Ivan screamed, his words muffled by his sobbing and being pressed against the fabric of his comforter.
Matthew froze, completely devastated at the sight. He was terrified and had no idea what to do. His voice refused to work at this point, and neither would his body. He didn't know what he would do if they did. What could he say or do? Should he touch him after his reaction from before?
The door opened rapidly but not to where it slammed the wall. The light was turned on. Matthew turned around and saw Ivan's parents standing in the door way, pale and bewildered. Matthew was in tears, trying to speak but still, nothing would come out. They ran to the other side of the bed.
"Vanya, it's okay," His mother called.
"It was just a dream, he isn't here anymore." Ivan looked up and let out another cry, as did Matthew. As Mrs. Braginsky pulled Ivan up and hugged onto him tightly, Ivan's dad stood up and looked at Matthew.
"What happened?"
"He… He… I woke up…. And he was crying. I touched his arm and suddenly he was…" Matthew kept sobbing. Why can't I keep myself together? For Ivan's sake?
"It's okay. You're pretty shaken up, and that's understandable. Go get some water for both you and Ivan, okay?" Matthew nodded and got off the bed.
In the kitchen, he took a deep breath and calmed himself down. Ivan needed him and the last thing he should be doing is losing it. He took two cups out of the cabinet and quickly filled them with water.
When he returned to the room, Ivan's parents were softly talking to Ivan. He stepped over them and sat down in an empty spot next to Ivan's legs. Ivan's eyes watched him as he took his place. He sat up and pulled himself away from mom's arms. Matthew extended his hand to offer him the glass but instead, Ivan clung to his torso and settled down on his lap with his legs pushing at the ground trying to get closer to him. Ivan's mom grabbed the glasses of water from his hands before he could spill them.
Matthew ran his hand through Ivan's hair. He had already stopped crying, but he still looked upset. He had gone to sleep without his scarf on, which made Matthew a little nervous about how exposed he must be feeling at that moment.
"Do you need our help with anything else?" Mrs. Braginsky whispered. Ivan shook his head. "Okay, I'll leave you with Matthew." She reached over and patted his shoulder.
After Ivan's parents left, Ivan continued to lie against Matthew, hugging onto him without any sign of wanting to move.
"Ivan…" Matthew started.
"Just… A bit longer please…" Ivan spoke up, taking a deep breath. "You should talk about something. Something nice. Anything. Take my mind off this."
Matthew thought for a moment. "Do you know what time it is?"
"Late."
"I think we fell asleep around 10, and I know we've been asleep for a while. Maybe it's 3. I want to see how close I am."
"I'm thinking more towards 2, but I could be wrong." He took another deep breath and sat up. "We'll get back to bed in a minute, let me just remake it."
"No, let me do it." Before Ivan can protest, Matthew kissed him. After that, Ivan took a deep breath, smiling slightly.
"Okay."
After Matthew made the bed, he helped Ivan stand up. "Do you want to talk about this tonight?"
"I mean, we can." Ivan crawled under the covers and settled in. Matthew crawled over him and relaxed down next to him.
"If you want, I just need to know if you're okay."
"I am okay," Ivan's eyes said otherwise. Apart from the tiredness, there was sadness. Worry perhaps.
"Are you hurt?" Matthew asked.
"I hit my back when I fell off the bed, but it just kinda aches."
"Maybe you bruised yourself, let me take a look." They both sat up, Ivan reaching down to the edge of his shirt. He turned his back to Matthew when he removed his shirt. Of course, he didn't think any bruises would show up now, but there was one way to really find out.
He gently pressed his hands against his back. "Where does it hurt?"
"Just in the middle and my shoulder blades." Matthew moved his hands up touching gently.
"Is this hurting you?"
"No, actually it's soothing." Matthew sighed a sigh of relief.
"Well, you're not bruised." He continued to rub Ivan's back. Ivan moved around a little, stretching here and there. They remained quiet during this time.
"You can stop," Ivan leaned back, lying against Matthew with his back against his lap. "I feel better, thanks,"
Matthew nodded, his eyes wondering. He had never seen Ivan without his shirt, nor was he used to seeing his without his scarf, and there everything was. He looked so much more different without the heavy clothing he always wore. Matthew's first impression was correct; Ivan was muscular, but he was also big-boned and chubby, mostly in the stomach area, face and butt…
Not that Matthew had really examined that.
Okay, maybe once or twice.
Ivan rolled his head backwards to look up at Matthew, as if he was expecting a reply. Matthew quickly took his eyes off his torso and looked to his eyes. He didn't know where to put his hands so he slipped them under Ivan's back.
Ivan lifted up his hand and laid it on Matthew's head, pushing his down a little more so their lips can meet for a brief kiss. After parting, Ivan's hands didn't leave Matthew's cheeks.
"My shoulders ache a little."
"Oh." Matthew moved his hands to his shoulders and rubbed them gently. "Did you hit them?"
"Nope," He removed his hands from Matthew's cheeks. "My chest hurts, too."
"Oh, where?" Ivan was smiling now. He grabbed Matthew's hands and slid them down to the center of his chest.
"Here." Matthew could feel his heart beating under his hands. A little rapidly than a usual heartbeat, maybe it was the romantic mood. "Matthew, I'm sorry." Still smiling.
"Why are you sorry?" Matthew asked.
"I lied; my chest and shoulders don't hurt." Matthew broke into laughter, trying to keep his volume down so nobody would be woken up. Matthew moved his hands under Ivan's arms and pulled him up to him, hugging him.
"You're forgiven, I guess," He gave Ivan's cheek a few kisses.
"Well, you were eyeing me." Ivan laughed. "I didn't want to embarrass you with saying you can observe or touch my body when you want."
Matthew tilted his head. "I have a funny boyfriend."
"I have a cute, shy boyfriend,"
"I have a boyfriend with cute cheeks," Matthew pinched Ivan's face.
"My boyfriend has soft hands." Ivan grabbed Matthew's hand, giving it a squeeze.
"My boyfriend looks like he could lift a car."
"Your boyfriend can't lift a car, Matthew." They laughed together. Ivan reached over to pick up Matthew's phone that was set aside when the bed was made.
"What time is it?" Matthew asked.
"It's two." Ivan turned his head, beaming.
"Gosh darn." Matthew complained. "I lost."
"And for my prize," Ivan sat up and turned towards Matthew. "You have to take your shirt off, too." Matthew laughed, and then realized he was serious.
"Well, I guess it's only fair." Matthew reached down and pulled off his shirt. He looked away, knowing Ivan was probably observing. His hand instinctively covered up the few spots of acne on his chest.
Ivan reached up and removed his hand, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He pulled him close to him. Matthew realized how much warmer Ivan was without his shirt and now him being shirtless as well. He also realized he could feel Ivan's heart beating against his own.
And this is my apology for completing chapter 8 a week in advance and forgetting to upload it for another whole week. I'm so rude. But hey, a new chapter in less than a week, and I even started writing chapter 10. Hurray!
Here's chapter 9, where it's happy, then everything goes downhill, but then I refused to leave it like that. And because I want to go into detail about Ivan's further recovery, and why this was titled "When the Snow Falls", I think this fic will end up being longer than I expected.
But when it does end, this won't be my only RusCan fic. I am, actually, in the process of writing another that will start being released after this one ends (not sure if I've mentioned this yet sorry) and some nationverse set drabble somewhere in my red notebook that I /might/ come around to throwing into a oneshot and uploading.
Not to they're married with 3 kids and 2 dogs in Køhler's Koffee (Yes, I put a reference to it in this chapter.)
RusCan has taken over my life.
I'm surprised I'm this far, though. Because dang! These moments seemed so far off when I started brainstorming this work.
Happy November to you all! I'll have chapter 10 out hopefully soon!