❅❄❅ When the Snow Falls ❅❄❅
"Hey, school's cancelled tomorrow and Tuesday due to the snow," Alfred declared over the phone. Matthew turned his head to glance out the window at the early morning sun with his tired eyes. Through the ice-blinded windows, Matthew could see the massive amounts of snow piling the ground.
"Is that so?" Matthew asked. Two more days off, huh. Ivan gently shifted around in front of him, his head resting on Matthew's lap. Matthew moved his hand down to Ivan's hair. It gave him peace at mind that he was getting sleep and not having another nightmare like he had just hours ago.
"Yeah, do you want me to pick you up later?"
"N-No," Matthew bit his lip. It would be rude to continue staying over at someone else's house without permission. "I have to ask Ivan's parents if I could stay longer, but I think I need to stay."
His brother paused. "I'm sorry?"
Matthew glanced down at his boyfriend. "It's a long story, Alfred. I will tell you it sometime, but I need to be here for Ivan…"
"Oh," Alfred sounded skeptical. "Is he okay?"
"Right now, yes. But…" Matthew trailed off.
"Take care of him, Matthew. Ask if you can stay longer and text me if I need to pick you up later."
"Thanks Alfred, but there's something else I need to tell you." Matthew's face turned red.
"Are you about to tell me Ivan's your boyfriend? Because I'm not stupid Matthew, I know there was a reason why you were so smiley last week." Alfred did that stupid, almost laughing voice of his. Matthew breathed out deeply.
"Oh, sorry I kept it from you. I just didn't want to be pressured to ask him out before he was ready, you know?"
"I do, and you asked him out?! What happened to the shy Matthew I know?" He laughed this time.
"I'm still here. Shy as always."
"I'm totally happy for you, bro. I'm sure mom, dad, and Arthur will be stoked to hear about it."
"Francis, too," Matthew gasped suddenly. He was so focused on Ivan that he never thought to tell Francis all that had happened.
"Is something wrong?"
"No, just remembered I probably need to call Francis after this." Matthew laughed.
"Probably. Get back to me about your plans, Mattie. I'll talk to you later."
"Bye Al." Matthew hung up, setting his phone aside for a second to observe Ivan. He was still sound asleep and doing fine. Matthew bent down and kissed his cheek gently.
He grabbed his phone and dialed Francis' number.
"Matthew?" Francis asked after picking up the phone and paused to yawn.
"Did I wake you? Sorry."
"It's fine, it's important and about Ivan, isn't it?"
"You're too smart."
"I'm also guessing you're not single anymore. Am I right?"
"Way to soil the surprised." Francis laughed in response.
"That's great. How did it go?" Matthew sighed, knowing he's going to have to tell him what all had happened. "What? Come on, it's the story that you're going to tell to you and Ivan's three children and two dogs later in life."
"Well, he relapsed before I came here," Matthew's voice was low.
"What, is he okay?!"
"It wasn't a bad one, he did punch a wall, but his hand is okay. And he was alright afterwards. Then we sat down and he told me everything. About Maks and Yao and the crash and his neck… And then I guess it just happened in the middle of it and afterwards."
"Explain," Francis' voice had lightened up a little.
"Well, I guess our feelings were brought up during a side conversation while he was telling me the story. And we kissed a few times during it, too."
"Good, how do you feel?"
"Happy, Francis, I'm extremely happy. But I'm also worried. I probably should mention that he had a nightmare last night, too."
"Oh… How bad?"
"Pretty bad. I touched his arm because I heard crying, and I think I scared him. I don't know, we didn't talk about it because we were both set on better topics, I guess. But he fell off the bed and hit the wall. He also screamed when he did." Matthew paused, feeling his heart almost drop from remembering the incident. "Francis, it was awful. It was hard seeing him so scared and upset."
"I'm sorry, Mattieu. You have to tough it out, for him." Matthew knew he was right.
"I know, I just didn't expect it. If it happens again..."
"It probably will happen again. I have as much faith in Ivan's recovery as you do but it's better to not be biased. Did he tell you about the snow stuff?"
"Snow stuff?" Matthew asked, confused.
"That's a stupid name for it but nothing triggers Ivan more easily than snowfall. He's not sure why that is himself, but it's how it is. It happens every year, and sadly Ivan was really set on this year being the first time he's not affected by it."
"He never told me any of that."
"He probably didn't want to worry you or jinx himself. Or he forgot to. His situation is so complicated that he probably left some parts out. He's probably torn up about it now. Is he doing okay?"
"He seems to be taking it well," Matthew whispered. "But you're right, what should I do?"
"Keep doing what you're doing. If he seems externally happy, then that's good. But he doesn't need to keep his bad feelings hidden. Get him to talk about the dream, maybe. Let him know he shouldn't keep his negative feelings to himself, stuff like that."
"Thanks again, Francis," Matthew sighed.
"He'll be okay, Matthew," Francis assured him. "I'm sure you should be with him now. Come talk to me if anything comes up okay? Oh and congrats, enjoy your time with your new boyfriend. I'm happy for you!"
"Again, thank you." Matthew laughed.
"Talk to you later."
"Bye." The phone line went and Matthew set his phone aside. Ivan was still asleep and drooling a little on his lap. He smiled, running his hand through his hair again.
"Was that Francis?" Ivan slowly opened his eyes.
"Oh, you're awake. Yeah, it was. Alfred called and woke me up, and since I told him about us, I felt the need to tell Francis, too. And I kinda told him what happened yesterday and last night… I hope that's fine." Matthew suddenly felt a little embarrassed that he had talked about Ivan behind his back.
"It's fine, I was going to tell him anyway." Ivan shifted around in his spot and hugged around Matthew's waist. "What did he say?"
"He gave me some advice as always, and that he's really happy for us."
"Well of course," Ivan laughed some. "He's the one who kinda set us up in the first place."
"Yeah," He remembered Francis mentioning that 'his conversations with him are strictly between them, as theirs are kept away from Ivan's ears' weeks ago. He really wanted to know if Ivan and Francis had the same conversations as the two of them. He wondered what Ivan had said about him. "He probably got out of bed to scratch that off his bucket list."
Ivan couldn't reply from laughing. "Do you wonder what else is on Francis' bucket list? I mean, if he actually has one."
"Probably a good amount of goals like 'run a bakery' or 'release at least one successful solo album' and plenty of things like 'be gorgeous today' and 'learn to pole dance while playing an instrument'." Ivan was lost with laughter again. Matthew took a deep breath.
"Are you truly alright, Ivan?"
Ivan's laughing quieted down. "I'm feeling okay now, Matthew."
"Are you sure? I need you to tell me if you are. Francis told me about your issues with snow…"
"Oh." Ivan sat up and fixed his hair. "I probably needed to say something about that, huh?"
"It's okay, I'm not going to learn everything about your situation in one sitting. But it's important for me, as well as your family, to know how you're really feeling."
"I'm not lying to you, Matthew. I'm okay." Ivan's voice sounded sterner, Matthew started to panic.
He leaned over and kissed Ivan's cheek. "And if you start to feel stressed or upset, please tell me. I just don't want you to harbor all your bad feelings so they go away instead of getting worse." Ivan looked away for a second, Matthew couldn't quite tell if what he said was comforting to him, or just made him feel guilty instead.
"Oh Ivan, I'm sorry I didn't mean to…" Ivan looked up at him, smiling some.
"I'm full of imperfections, Matthew. I keep assuring you I'm perfectly fine after all these years of getting away from him, but yet I'm just kidding myself. I'm kidding you. I didn't lie when I said I was fine, I did feel fine. I woke up next to you from your voice and I'm not lying… I'm happy. But I've been thinking about how far these nightmares and bad feelings have followed me, and I'm still not over it." Matthew could hear tears about to come by his voice. "I have been wondering if they would ever go away."
"You've been through hell and back, Ivan. Look at how much progress you've made since the beginning. Please keep faith in yourself, and tell me when you don't feel okay when you do feel bad. Tell yourself you don't feel okay. I will continue being here, because I love being here with you, and I will help you because I care about you more than anything."
Ivan shook his head some and hugged onto Matthew. "Thanks."
"Sorry I put you in a bad mood."
"I guess I didn't know it, but I was already in a sour mood. But I'm feeling better."
"Thanks for telling me. Please tell me if there's anything you want me to do." Ivan pulled away from the hug, looking at him. Matthew gazed back, moving his hand up to touch his cheek. Ivan leaned closer to him and laid him lips on Matthew's very momentarily. Avoiding smelling each other's morning breath, they kept it short and quickly pulled back.
"I don't need anything right now, but I want to lie down for a little longer though." Matthew moved over for him to lay his head on the pillow.
He settled down and reached over to squeeze Matthew's hand. "Thanks, uhhh Matthew."
Matthew smiled at him. "Uhhh Matthew?"
"I was about to use a pet name or something but couldn't think of any."
"Hm, cute." He leaned down and kissed Ivan's forehead. "I need to think of a good one for you, too."
"Vanya is okay." He told him, holding him by his arms before Matthew could sit back up. Matthew slowly laid back down.
"Hmm… Isn't that what your parents call you?" Matthew asked.
"Yeah, it's my name only in Russian."
"Oh, that's cool." Matthew shifted closer to him. "It sounds beautiful."
"And yours is Matvey."
"Pretty." Matthew smiled again.
"Так же, как вы, мой драгоценный Матвей." Ivan spoke softly, nuzzling close to the other to kiss his cheek. "I'll call you Matvey, if you desire that."
"It's unique and I love it, Vanya. Thank you." They shared another kiss.
"Matvey, I hate to bring this up but…"
"The morning breath is awful?"
"Yeah."
Short filler chapter, lots of drama going on in the past... Well all the other chapters so here are two dorks being cute and supportive with awful morning breath.
Apologies for possibly bad Russian translate. Так же, как вы, мой драгоценный Матвей mean 'Just like you, my precious Matthew'