Guess what, I'm very bad at updating consistently!
Luigi stood trembling in fear as the three thugs bared down on him menacingly. As they spread out a bit from each other, Luigi could see the form of the girl they had trapped against the wall; a mint green Yoshi with short, reddish pink hair, who actually seemed to be wearing some form of clothes, a first for Luigi: a white and blue vest with matching boots and hat, along with a blue and cyan scarf. Not that any of this really mattered to him, of course, as he was still quaking in his boots due to the situation. Seeing the look of sheer terror on Luigi's face, along with the fact that he was shaking like an inflatable tube man in a tornado, the Bandit quickly broke into a fit of laughter.
"Ahahaha, oh, dat's priceless! Dis guy... DIS guy is supposed ta scare me? Dat poor putz looks like he's afraid of his own shadow!"
The Yoshi let out an equally loud laugh, though hers was quite obviously forced. "H-Hahahaha, th-that's just what he wants you shmucks to think! That... That's what makes him so dangerous; no one expects someone as scrawny and pathetic looking as him to be a threat at all, and then BAM! You're pulverized before you even know what hitcha! That's why he's my dad's top enforcer, after all! Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, survives a scuffle with... With... Uh... Reginald Von... Painstache!"
Though the Doogan was once again beginning to adopt a look of fear, the Bandit smacked him upside the head before he could start up again. He then turned back towards the girl and gave her an evil smirk, letting her know that he obviously saw through her less than clever lies.
"Ya know girly, I don't appreciate it when someone goes an' tries to insult my superior intelligentical intellect like you seem ta be tryin' ta do. Yer only diggin' yerself an' Mr. Used Tissue ovah dere deeper an' deeper da more you try an' sound smart."
"Oh, don't worry, I'm not trying to do anything like that." the Yoshi replied, all too casually. "After all, it's pretty hard to insult something that doesn't exist in the first place."
That really got under the Bandit's skin, as did the unwitting reactions from his accomplices. Smacking both of their heads together, he growled threateningly at the girl, and then at Luigi. "Grr, DAT'S it! No more games, you smart alleck lizard! Let's just see how strong yer little 'protector' ovah dere really is!"
"Be my guest, it'll be YOUR funeral!" the Yoshi said confidently, though the look she shot Luigi was anything but. "Uh, r-right, 'Reggie'...?"
Luigi continued to cower like a wet leaf as the Bandit made his way menacingly towards him. As his two co-horts began to join him, however, the Bandit turned around and held up his hand to stop them.
"Heh, youse guise just keep yer eyes on da girlie, I can take care o' dis chump on my own! I'll have 'im runnin' home with his tail between his legs like a scolded dog with a case of the livertail!"
The two underlings scratched their heads in confusion at the Bandit's strange euphemism.
"Uhh, do what now, boss?" the Goomba asked.
The Bandit fumed, stomping and glaring back at his underlings. "Grr, just watch da girl, you dolts!" Turning his attention back to Luigi, the Bandit shot the poor plumber a sinister smile. "Now, it's time ta teach you a lesson for stickin' dat big ol' nose o' yers in where it don't belong, chump."
"Ohoho, dis should be good!" the Goomba sneered, laughing along with his Doogan co-hort as they awaited the carnage that was about to ensue.
Luigi swallowed hard as he tried to steel himself mentally. "Geez, Luigi, what are you doing? Gettin' all scared of some street punk? Come on, you've faced so much worse, you've taken on BOWSER, for cryin' out loud! How do you expect to do your brother's duty if you're gettin' frightened by a couple of shmucks like this? This guy ain't nothin'! No one's ever gonna take you seriously if you keep gettin' scared over everything, so you gotta man up and show this thug what you're made of!"
Nodding to himself mentally, Luigi furrowed his brow and took up a fighting stance, his resolve steadied once more.
"The little voice in my head is right!" Luigi said confidently, no longer frightened of the situation he was in, and feeling silly for having gotten so worked up in the first place. "I can take on mooks like you in my sleep, what am I doin' actin' like such a wimp?"
"Ooh, so you got a spine after all, eh chump?" the Bandit sneered, shaking his head dismissively. "Ha, fat lot o' good that's gonna do you, cuz HERE COMES DA PAIN!"
The Bandit rushed towards Luigi, forgoing the usual Bandit tactic of theft, instead aiming to put a dent in Luigi's skull rather than his already missing wallet. Luigi braced himself, hoping he could time the Bandit's deceptive speed and avoid his attack.
"WATCH OUT!"
As it turns out, the Yoshi did a better job of it than he did, as she cried out the moment before the Bandit slammed into Luigi, giving him the cue he needed to put his guard up and block the attack.
"Ahaha, how did ya like tha-" the Bandit began, before turning to see Luigi dusting himself off and looking none the worse for wear, a sight which took the wind right out of his sails and elicited gasps from his two goons. "W-What da-?! D-Dat's impossible, no one's eva blocked dat attack before!"
As Luigi stood there smirking at the Bandit, the Yoshi cried out again, snapping him back to attention.
"Hey, don't just stand there, get him while his guard is down!"
"Hey, you shut yer trap, girlie!" the Bandit shouted, turning his gaze back towards the girl and giving Luigi ample time to take a running leap at him.
"NOW, STOMP HIM!" the Yoshi cried out just as Luigi reached the height of his jump. Obliging, Luigi put all his force downwards, landing a direct hit right atop the Bandit's skull.
The Bandit let out a sharp wail of pain as Luigi landed safely a few feet away from him. "YEEEEEEEEOWCH!"
"Yeah, that's the way to do it!" the Yoshi shouted out in encouragement, cheering on Luigi from the sidelines and giving the Goomba and Doogan a hard time of containing her. "I'll bet that cream puff's gonna be feeling that in the morning!"
"CREAM PUFF?!" the Bandit snarled, quickly hopping to his feet and looker madder than a hornet. "Ooh, just you wait girlie, yer gonna git yer's soon enough!"
The Yoshi rolled her eyes and deadpanned. "Pfft, oh, I'm shaking in my boots."
"Yeah, you should be, cuz pretty soon yer gonna be feelin' a heepin' helpin' o' DIS!"
Turning around in an instant, the Bandit caught Luigi off guard, his attack hitting this time as he slammed hard into Luigi, knocking him down to the ground.
"Heh, yeah, now DAT'S what I'm talkin' about!" the Bandit said obnoxiously, sending a smug look the Yoshi's way as his two goons whooped and hollered for him from the sidelines.
"Oh no, are you alright?!" the Yoshi cried, ignoring the Bandit as she watched Luigi stumble to pick himself back up off the ground. After taking a moment to clear his head, Luigi nodded, and she breathed a sigh of relief. "Whew, what am I talking about, of course you're alright, this guy hits like a butterfly."
"Hey, don't you talk trash about butterflies!" the Bandit snapped angrily, seemingly more upset by that than anything the Yoshi had said to him previously. "Dere ain't a more majestical and beautificial creature on dis planet!"
Taking advantage of the Bandit's distraction, Luigi sprang into action, leaping forward and stomping squarely on his head yet again.
"You take hits like a butterfly too." the Yoshi said, laughing to herself as the Bandit struggled to get back to his feet again.
"G-Gah, dis guy's tougher dhan he looks..." the Bandit muttered to himself under his breath.
"B-Boss! Are you okay?!" cried the Doogan, looking on in fraught.
"You want we should come help you, Boss?!" added the Goomba, which only seemed to serve to make the Bandit angrier.
"No, no!" the Bandit shouted, shaking his head vehemently at the Goomba as he finally got back up. "You mugs just keep watchin' the girl to make sure she don't try nothin' funny!" Looking at Luigi, he pointed at him and then made a cut throat motion with his thumb. "As for you, ya bum, it looks like I'm gonna have to pull out all the stops and use my FINAL TECHNIQUE!"
"Oh man, the boss NEVER has to use that attack!" the Goomba said, looking on in anticipation.
"Hoo boy, you're in for it now, ya bum!" the Doogan added, rubbing his hands together in a 'this is gonna be good' fashion.
The Bandit glowered at Luigi. "Time ta pay ya back for da thumpin', wit' interest!"
Backing up from the spot he was in, the Bandit began to run in place, building up a head of steam as he started to smoke and glow red, then in an instant, he was gone, dashing towards Luigi at a breakneck speed. Luigi hunkered down as best he could, but was ill prepared for the Bandit's blinding charge. As the Bandit drew near, however, the Yoshi's voice rang out once more.
"HIT HIM, HE'S WIDE OPEN!"
At the Yoshi's words, Luigi's mind immediately focused, and seeing the opening himself, reared back and slugged the Bandit right in the jaw with a perfectly timed uppercut just as he arrived to deliver a punch of his own, sending him careening backwards through the air, skidding and landing up against the brick wall with a resounding thud.
"YEEEEEEAH!" the Yoshi cried in triumph, jumping up into the air with a victorious fist pump, as the goons were too busy running over to their boss to check on him. "That'll teach you for trying to mug a poor, innocent girl!"
"BOSS!" the Doogan cried in horror, rushing to the Bandit's aid.
"Speak to us, boss!" the Goomba pleaded, shaking the Bandit by his shoulders to try and snap him out of his googly-eyed stupor.
"...Guh... Guh..." the Bandit, trying in vain to regain his wind, could only get a few syllables out. "...Get... Him...!"
The Goomba and Doogan looked at each other and blinked in silence, before jumping up in shock and crying out simultaneously.
"Y-You mean... You want US to fight... HIM?!" the Goomba asked incredulously, not at all wanting anything to do with Luigi after seeing what he had done to his boss.
"B-B-But boss, if YOU couldn't beat him, what are we supposed to do?!" the Doogan asked, himself beginning to shake much like Luigi was earlier.
"You... Idiots..." the Bandit spat, as he began to regain a little bit of consciousness. Use yer heads... You got 'im outnumbered two to one!"
"Oh, right!" the Goomba said, the proverbial light bulb going off in his tiny little brain. Wasting no time, the Goomba and Doogan shifted themselves into the main battlefield, standing between Luigi and the defeated Bandit.
The Doogan let out a dopey laugh. "Ehehe, you may've been able ta take da boss down, but there's no way you're gonna be able to handle both me an' Gooms here at the same time!"
"Yeah, it's time to give you the ol' one two three four punch!" the Goomba added leeringly.
"I don't think so!"
Before either of them knew what hit them, the Goomba and the Doogan were both lying face down in the dirt, both of them having been pelted with a large, green spotted egg from out of nowhere. Running in to join the fray, the Yoshi stood firmly behind Luigi and waited as the two goons realized what hit them.
"W'What's this?!" the Doogan shouted in anger as he rubbed the spot where the egg had hit him on his head gingerly. "What do you think you're doin', girlie?!"
"Evening the playing field, of course!" the Yoshi stated matter-of-factly. "You're nuts if you think I'm gonna let you get the double team on him! You thugs act so tough when you gang up on somebody, but let's see how you like it when the sides are the same, huh?!"
"N-No fair!" the Doogan cried. "Dat's cheating!"
"Oh please..." the Yoshi said, rolling her eyes.
"W-What are you doing?!" Luigi cried in shock at the Yoshi's actions. "Get outta here, while they're distracted!"
The Yoshi merely shook her head, giving Luigi a confident look. "No way, I wanna teach these guys a lesson for trying to mug me! Don't worry, I know I may not look like it, but I can defend myself, this isn't the first time this has happened to me... Just do the same thing you did to their boss and I'll follow, okay?"
Luigi looked back the the Yoshi with skepticism, before quickly sighing and shaking his head. "Well, if you say so..."
"I do! Now, let's show these guys the real meaning of pain, eh, 'Reggie'?" the Yoshi said, giving Luigi a knowing smirk.
"Uh, yeah, sure thing... Er, ma'am..." Luigi murmured in slight confusion, trying his best to play along.
"G-G-G-Gooms, what are we gonna do now?!" the Doogan cried in terror to his partner.
"Gah, suck it up, Doogley, you ain't gonna disobey the boss, are ya?" the Goomba chided, though he seemed just as enthusiastic about his situation as the Doogan was.
"N-N-N-No, of course not!" the Doogan said, shaking his head. "...B-But, oh man, dis ol' leg o' mine, it's startin' to cramp up somethin' fierce, I dunno if I can-"
"Enough wit' da whinin', you wimps, get dose chumps!" scowled the Bandit, sending the underlings scrambling into fighting position.
"Alright, which one do you want, the tall one, or the short one?" the Yoshi asked Luigi.
"Uh, gee, I dunno, does it matter?" Luigi asked back, not really sure of how to answer. "I know most Goombas are pushovers, but I've never fought a Doogan before."
"Ah, well then, allow me to help!" the Yoshi said, pulling out her camera and pointing it at the Doogan. "That's a Doogan. They're usually native to the seedier areas of the Mushroom Kingdom, like New Appelle, or Rogueport, for instance. That's not to say they're all bad, but... Well, they just have a nose for trouble, it seems. Their HP is 3, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. They'll try to attack you by bum-rushing you with a shoulder charge, which is pretty weak, though sometimes they'll pull out a combo attack that does slightly more damage if they're on the ropes. They're barely any tougher than a common Goomba, so you shouldn't have much difficulty at all with them."
"What da-?!" the Doogan exclaimed in shock. "How da heck does she know all dat about me?!"
"Who cares, just get 'em!" the Bandit shouted, urging the Doogan to initiate his aforementioned bum-rush attack against Luigi, who deftly defended against it, knowing it was coming.
"W-Wow, how did you know he was going to do that?" Luigi asked the Yoshi in awe.
"Er, well, let's just say I like to learn, and I don't forget anything. Ever." the Yoshi said in slight embarrassment, before quickly changing the subject. "But that's not important, let's get back to the fight!" Pointing the camera at the Goomba this time, she once again began her explanation. "That's a Goomba. They're kind of the lowest on life's totem pole, if you catch my drift. Of course, not all Goombas are such lowly foes, but then again, that's like saying 'not all Yoshis are male' when I'm like, one out of a hundred, if even that... Aaaaanyhow, HP is 2, Attack is 1, Defense is 0. They attack with a pathetic head bonk that's easily avoided. Pretty much anything you do will defeat these chumps, if you directed a particularly violent sneeze at one, you'd probably beat it. So let's just stomp this guy into submission, okay?"
"Hey, how dare you say dose things about me!" the Goomba said in anger, rushing towards the Yoshi to give her a literal piece of his mind. The Yoshi, however, easily avoided the attack, causing the Goomba to headbonk the concrete.
"Gah, you idiots, get it together!" the Bandit screamed, looking on in utter contempt at his underlings' 'action'.
"We're tryin', boss!" the Doogan cried. "But dat Yoshi, it's like she's psychic or somethin'! She knows everything about our tactics!"
"Den come up wit' new ones, you shmucks!" the Bandit sneered, not at all pleased by his lackey's response.
"B-But boss, you know how hard it is comin' up with attacks on the fly!" the Goomba pleaded, as he struggled to flip himself back over.
"I DON'T CARE!" the Bandit snarled. "STOP TALKIN' AND START POUNDIN'!"
"Why, what an excellent idea!" the Yoshi said, grinning broadly at the Bandit. "Wouldn't you agree, 'Reggie'?"
"...Wuzzat?" Luigi snapped to attention once he realized the Yoshi was talking to him. "Oh! Right, yeah, sure thing!"
Wasting no time, Luigi ran over to the Doogan, who stood almost paralyzed in fear at the sight, jumping up and bopping him on the head much like he had done to the Bandit.
"Owowowowow!" the Doogan smarted, rubbing his head in pain as he scrambled desperately to get away from Luigi.
The Yoshi, meanwhile, had taken aim at the Goomba beside her, who was still struggling to right himself.
"A-Ah geez, I don't suppose it'd work if I said 'sorry'?" the Goomba asked, flashing the Yoshi an insincere, gap-toothed grin.
"Maybe if you actually meant it!" the Yoshi said, shaking her head as she aimed an egg right for him, hurling it at the Goomba like a bowling ball. It smashed directly into him and sent him sliding into the fleeing Doogan, knocking him over onto his rear, and giving Luigi ample time to waltz over and deliver one final, emphatic kick right in the Doogan's butt, sending both him and the Goomba crashing into the Bandit.
"I-Idiots!" the Bandit cried, as he struggled to push his loopy lackeys off of him.
Luigi and the Yoshi stood before the defeated group, looking at each other bemusedly.
"Told you guys you didn't wanna mess with us." the Yoshi said, smirking at the defeated Bandit with no lack of glee.
"C-Come on, we was just kiddin', we weren't REALLY gonna mug you, h-honest!" the Bandit said, practically groveling as he lay trapped underneath his co-horts.
"Oh yeah, that's about as believable as that whole 'mob boss' daughter' thing I was-" the Yoshi began, before quickly stopping and 'correcting' herself. "I-I mean, I'll bet my dad'll LOVE to hear you tell him that, now why don't you boys just wait right here while we go and fetch him, hmm?"
All at once, the Doogan and Goomba jumped to their feet, allowing the Bandit to do the same, and the three wasted no time in getting the heck out of dodge, booking it down the alleyway like cockroaches when the light comes on.
"R-Run for it, I'm too young to sleep with the Cheep-Cheeps!" the Bandit wailed, as he disappeared down the alleyway and out of view along with his co-horts.
"Yeah, that's right, you don't want anymore of this, you cowards!" the Yoshi yelled after them, jumping up and fist pumping in celebration.
Luigi, meanwhile, merely stepped out of his fighting stance, letting out a huge sigh of relief. As she stopped her celebrating, the Yoshi turned to Luigi, and she too let out a relieved sigh.
"Gosh, I don't know how I can ever thank you though, mister!" the Yoshi said, bowing to Luigi in gratitude. "I don't know what would've happened if you hadn't shown up when you did... I'm so super duper sorry for dragging you into that, but wow, you sure kicked their butts but good! I don't know what possible reason you had for coming down this nasty ol' alleyway, but boy am I glad you did! Thanks so much for actually helping me, I'll never forget this as long as I live!" Turning away, the Yoshi added under her breath, "...Particularly because I caught it all on camera, ahaha..."
Shaking her head, she quickly turned back to Luigi and beamed at him once more. "But yeah, I'm so used to people in this city just turning the other way and ignoring things like this when they stumble upon them, I was really starting to give up hope for society... But then again, I'm gonna go ahead and wager that you're not from around here, are you?"
Luigi shook his head. "N-No, I'm... Well, it's actually kind of a long story."
"Ah, I gotcha." the Yoshi said, nodding in understanding. "Well, thanks again for the help, mister, is there anything I could possibly do to replay you for your kindness?"
Luigi put his hand to his chin thoughtfully. "Well, actually, I'm looking for a man named Mer-" Luigi gasped midsentence as he suddenly remembered what he had gone down the alley for in the first place. "WAIT, NO, THAT'S RIGHT, I WAS CHASING SOME GUY THAT JUST STOLE MY WALLET!"
The Yoshi hopped up and gasped in shock as well. "O-Oh dear, I was wondering why anyone would risk walking down one of these alley by themselves... Well, I mean, besides me... But oh my gosh, that's terrible, did you see what he looked like?"
Luigi nodded firmly, as there was no way he'd forget someone as gaudy looking as that Bandit was. "He was a Bandit wearing this awful, nasty, bright green outfit, carrying a matching ugly sack on his back! Did you happen to see him before you, uh, ran into those guys?"
The Yoshi shook her head sadly. "Oh, gosh, no, I'm sorry, those thugs had me cornered there, so I couldn't see if anyone passed by me... But hey, I think I may actually know the guy you're talking about! I mean, I know who he is! You just came from the airport, right?"
Luigi nodded again, causing the Yoshi to frown and shake her head.
"Oh, yeah, that definitely sounds like the work of Snatch Grabberson. He's a particularly infamous thief in this city who likes to prey on unsuspecting out-of-towners." Putting her hand to her lip, the Yoshi's shoulders slumped. "Um, unfortunately, if you lost sight of him, then I wouldn't count on getting your wallet back anytime soon, since the reason he's so infamous is because he seems to just vanish into thin air, no one has ever managed to catch him. Or at least if they have, they haven't lived to tell the tale."
Luigi let out a wail of shock, then slumped to the ground in defeat.
"...Just great. I'm only in this city for five minutes, and already I'm flat broke, probably lost, AND I'm hungry..."
The Yoshi's frown deepened, as she walked over to Luigi and placed a reassuring hand upon his shoulder.
"Yeah, this city tends to do that to people..." The Yoshi's expression suddenly brightened, as she continued. "Oh, but hey, I can't do much about the flat broke and hungry parts, but I do think I know how I can return the favor to you!"
Luigi looked up at the Yoshi in curiosity. "Huh? How's that?"
"Well, as it just so happens, I know these streets like the back of my glove." the Yoshi explained. "In fact, that's the only reason I bothered coming down here, because it's a shortcut to where I'm headed. Boy, I should've learned my lesson with shortcuts in this city by now... But um, anyhow, I have a photographic memory of pretty much anywhere I've ever been, so if you're looking for something or someone in this city, I'm sure I can help you find it!"
Luigi hopped up in excitement at pretty much the first piece of good news that he had heard all day. "Oh wow, really? That'd be great!"
"Yeah, I-" the Yoshi began, suddenly cutting herself off and smacking herself in the forehead. "Wait, good grief, I'm such a ditz, I haven't even properly introduced myself, what is wrong with me? Right, well, my name is Yassie, I'm a film student, just one of the many countless fools who came to this city with big dreams, only to have them come crashing down around me like so many falling stars. I was promised the world, like so many others, only to realize those promises were nothing but big, fat, lies... Now I just want to go home, get as far away from this place as I possibly can, but I'm kind of stuck here, as it so happens, so that too is nothing more than a pipe dream at this point... But oh my gosh, what am I doing, you don't care about my dumb little sob story, excuse my rambling."
Luigi shook his head sympathetically in response. "Oh, no, I understand, I know what it's like to have unfulfilled dreams, believe me... Er, I'm awful sorry though, but I'm kind of in a hurry, so maybe we can sit down and talk some other time... Oh, but, my name is Luigi, though I'm probably better known as that guy who happens to be Mario's brother, and-"
Luigi was cut of by the dramatic gasp that Yassie let out, her eyes bulging out as Luigi said his name.
"Oh. My. GOSH. I THOUGHT I recognized you!" she exclaimed, giving Luigi a star-struck look that he was usually only used to seeing his brother get. Yassie continued, squealing and hopping up and down in utter excitement. "You're totally the real Luigi, the honest to goodness real life Super Luigi!"
Luigi was taken aback with shock at Yassie's sudden outburst. "W-What? You actually... Know who I am...?"
"OF COURSE I do!" Yassie said, rolling her eyes as if Luigi was kidding. "I mean, you're Super Luigi, for Star Haven's sake! I've read the novels of your adventure in the Waffle Kingdom at least a hundred times each, and I must've seen the movie version a hundred times more!"
"W-Wow, really...?!" Luigi exclaimed, not at all used to hearing such positive things said about him.
"Yeah, and man oh man, that Zip Toad looks NOTHING AT ALL LIKE YOU, what in the world were they thinking casting him in your role?!" Yassie cried, stating the fact as if it were the most heinous thing that's ever happened.
Luigi scratched the back of his head, not quite sure of the answer to that himself. "Uh, well, I wouldn't know, they didn't really consult with me on the movie at all, and I didn't even get any royalties for-"
Yassie let out another overly dramatic gasp as her hands clasped her cheeks. "Oh my gosh, that's terrible! That's awful! How could they do something like that to a hero like you?!"
"H-Hero? L-Like me?" Luigi stuttered, not sure if he had heard Yassie correctly.
"Yeah!" Yassie said, nodding emphatically. "Starsway WISHES it could come up with action heroes as awesome and heroic as you! I mean, the way you braved tooth and nail, went through the fire and the flames, all to save some lady you didn't even know!"
"O-Oh, w-well, I try not to think about that part any-"
"And how DARE that Princess Eclair pick that awful Chestnut King over you?! You, who went through so much just to rescue her!"
"W-Well, he was kind of her fiance before he got turned into a-"
"That's no excuse at all! Did HE ever head into the heart of an active volcano to defeat a giant, vicious, two-headed, fire-breathing snake for her? Did HE ever scale a horrible, so-called unbreachable, danger-ridden plateau for her?"
"I dunno, I didn't get much of a chance to talk to him before I-"
"No, no he didn't! All he did was sit around in his dumb little tower, being a hideous, malformed monster, while you were off risking life and limb for her! And for what? What is the thanks you get for putting yourself through such a perilous, arduous journey?!"
"Well, I got this really spiffy medal that's shaped like a-"
"A FAT LOAD OF NOTHING, THAT'S WHAT! It's the biggest, most tremendous miscarriage of justice I've ever heard of, is what it is! The hero should ALWAYS get the girl in the end, not get stuck being the third wheel who only gets a consolation prize saying 'thanks for trying'!"
"Oh, no, that's no big deal, I'm used to-"
"A TRAVESTY! AN OUTRAGE! IT'S...! IT'S...!"
Luigi backed up slightly from Yassie, who was breathing so viciously that she was beginning to hyperventilate. Seeing the look of worry on Luigi's face, Yassie seemingly snapped back to reality, calming down and blinking dumbfoundedly, as if a switch has went off in her mind. She looked back at Luigi in embarrassment, realizing she had probably just made herself out to be the creepiest, most overly-obsessive fangirl imaginable.
"Um, w-whoops, sorry, I... I tend to get worked up over silly things like that..." she stated, laughing awkwardly. "But like, oh my gosh, I just can't believe I'm meeting the hero of my favorite novels and movie in the flesh! And not only that, but I was literally SAVED by him, too! I... I'm not dreaming right now, am I?"
Luigi shook his head. "Er, I don't think so, no."
"Ah, wow..." Yassie marveled once more at her hero, before suddenly remember just how big of a fool she had just made of herself. "Oh, but... MY GOSH, THAT WAS EMBARRASSING! Just... Pretend that little scene never happened, okay?"
Luigi nodded in understanding, just happy to know he had such a devoted fan at all.
"Right, so, you were saying you needed to find someone, correct?" Yassie asked, trying to remember where the conversation had left off before she had her little freak out.
Luigi nodded again. "Oh yeah, see, I got this letter from... Uh, well, it kind of just appeared, but anyways, some guy named Merlon sent it, saying he needed my bro to come meet him because... Well, I don't really know. Whatever it is, it's so bad that he had to send a plane ticket for my brother so he could talk to him about it in person. Unfortunately, my brother is kinda sorta... Busy at the moment, and seeing no other course of action, I took it upon myself to come in his place, since I couldn't really not respond to it given how urgent the contents seemed to be."
"Oh, wow..." Yassie remarked. "That doesn't sound very good."
"Yeah, I know." Luigi said grimly. "I just hope this Merlon guy doesn't get too mad when I show up instead of my brother, he seemed pretty adamant that only Mario could help..."
"Oh, don't worry about that." Yassie said, waving her hand. "I'm sure he'll understand if you explain the situation to him. Besides, you're Luigi, surely once he recognizes you as Mario's brother, he'll have no qualms about it! After all, one Mario Brother is as good as the other, right?"
Luigi's shoulders slumped and he let out a small sigh. "Er, I'm not so sure about that..."
"Oh, stop it, you'll be fine." Yassie said, giving Luigi a reassuring smile. "Now, come on, I've had just about enough of this dingy old alleyway for one lifetime, how's about we head over to Merlon's place?"
Luigi nodded in agreement, but then cocked his head to the side and frowned. "Didn't you say you had somewhere to go, though? I don't want to make you go out of your way or anything."
"Oh, no, don't be silly!" Yassie said, shaking her head. "This is MUCH more important than what I was going to do, I'll just get that done after I get you to Merlon's house. They're in the same direction anyways, so it's totally cool!"
"Oh, okay." Luigi said, glad he wasn't being too much of a bother. "Well, uh, I guess I'll follow you, then!"
"Oh, hey, actually, why don't you just hop on my back?" Yassie suggested. "I am a Yoshi, after all, and if there's one thing I'm good at besides dispensing gobs of useless information, it's getting around quickly!"
"Er, well, sure, why not." Luigi said, shrugging his shoulders as he walked around to Yassie's side and hopped on her back, being careful not to pull on her camera bag.
"Ooh, that's right, I kind of... Lost my saddle, so the ride might be kind of bumpy, sorry..." Yassie said, glancing back at Luigi regretfully. "But hey, it'll only take a few minutes to get there, so it shouldn't be too bad!"
"Okay, whatever you sa-AAAAAAAAAAAY!" Luigi cried, Yassie having taken off without warning, exiting the alley the way Luigi had come in, and quickly blending in with the huge crowds of people that packed the streets, taxiing Luigi towards his destination as fast as her fleet feet could take her.
Good lord, did I really make an entire chapter out of the tutorial battle? Ugh... Well, regardless, I hope I wasn't too repetitive, and god I hope I didn't make Yassie seem like some kind of horrible, generic Goombella clone. Also, as previously stated, you can tell immediately that I am REALLY BAD WITH NAMES, so don't expect anything better for any future characters... Boy, I'm being super pessimistic again, aren't I? Well, I'll shut up now, I hope whoever reads this enjoys it, criticisms and insults and all that fun jazz are welcome as always.~