Mario's whole body ached. It felt as if a bus had been dropped on him. Seventy two times. He had no worldly idea why he was feeling that way, but his head was throbbing too much to think about it for very long. All he knew was, he had never quite felt this level of pain before in his life, and that was saying something, after all the things Bowser and countless other villains had put him through before.

Bowser... Was this Bowser's doing? But... Was what Bowser's doing?

Where was Mario, anyway? He would have loved to have known that, as most people assuredly would, but he couldn't even bring himself to open his eyes, such was the level of pain and exhaustion that coursed through every muscle in his body. All he could hear was a repetitive, gentle lapping noise... Waves, perhaps? But where would he be that he could hear...

Oh...

Oh no...

The ship!

That's right! The last thing Mario could remember, he was with Peach aboard her new cruise ship! They were-

Peach.

Letting out an absolutely horrifying groan of effort, Mario struggled to open his eyes and push himself to his feet. His vision was blurry through the tears of pain that welled in his eyes, he could hardly make out his surroundings at all, but it was somewhere unfamiliar to him, at the very least. A beach of some sort, though Mario was so far ashore that he wasn't wet at all. He glanced around frantically for any sign of Peach, or anyone else, for that matter.

But nothing. No Peach. No other passengers at all. Not even any sign of a wreck. The only thing he could make out that seemed out of place at all was...

His hat? Mario quickly patted himself atop the head and sure enough, it was bare. Without even thinking, he trudged forward, his legs shaky and unstable due to both the pain that wracked him as well as the unstable sand that he walked upon, reaching out in front of him like a zombie for the simple, red cap that lay motionless a short ways away from him. Through great effort, he managed to reach it, but as he bent down to pick it up, it did something decidedly wrong.

It moved.

Mario wasn't in any mood for such shenanigans. It couldn't have been the wind, as there was none blowing whatsoever, but Mario didn't really care to try and make any sense of the situation, he just wanted his hat back. Struggling to follow it, he forced his legs forward, and once again bent down to grab his cap.

He was too slow.

His frustration boiling over, Mario temporarily managed to ignore the pain just long enough to move himself forward into position to make a diving grasp for the hat, hoping to catch it by surprise.

And success! Mario was able to pry his cap away from the clutches of the small crab that had commandeered it, accidentally flinging it far away into the sea as he grabbed ahold of the hat it was holding onto. Pushing himself to his feet, Mario triumphantly let out a 'Woo-hoo!' of happiness as he lovingly placed his cap back on his head, not bothering to brush the sand off of it first.

Then his body reminded him that it didn't appreciate him doing such things without its permission.

Mario promptly collapsed to the ground, finally passing out from the ungodly pain.

"...Oh... Mama mia..."

Mario let out another groan, though this one was mercifully less hurt filled.

"Oh, you're finally awake! Thank goodness..."

The sound of an unfamiliar voice prompted Mario to open his eyes, and to his surprise, he was in an even less recognizable place than he had been the last time he awoke. He appeared to be in a small hut of some sort, the funnel shaped roof along with the tightly compacted walls seemingly made out of simple straw, or some other such material. The hut's single window, which was merely a square hole cut out from one of the walls, was letting in the golden glow of the setting sun outside, bathing everything within the hut in an orangish hue. Mario layed in what seemed to him at that moment to be the comfiest bed he had ever layed in in his life, and the only chair in the hut was occupied by a Goomba.

The Goomba was a slightly tanner shade than most, and her eyelids drooped ever so lightly, giving her a bit of a tired expression. Her hair was a shimmering rainbow of colors, mysteriously changing whenever she moved, and it was tied back in a long (for a Goomba) ponytail with a short bang hanging in front of her face, slightly obscuring the left side of it, and Mario couldn't help but wonder how in the world she had managed to dye it in such a dynamic way, particularly without any hands.

"Are you alright, mister? You were in pretty bad shape when I found you..."

Mario opened his mouth to respond to the Goomba's question, but balked. He blinked in confusion, realizing he didn't appear to be in any pain at all, a stark contrast from the sheer agony his body was in earlier. This was especially curious to Mario, as his body always hurt for days afterwards anytime he was in pain before, so there was no real reason he should be feeling so good... Just how long had he been out for...?

"...Mister?"

Mario snapped himself out of his thoughts, turning his attention back to the Goomba. Realizing he should probably keep it simple, he simply nodded in response to let the Goomba know he was at the very least currently okay.

"Really? That's a relief..." the Goomba said, letting out a small sigh. "That's actually rather surprising, judging by how awful you looked... But I suppose we shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth... What were you doing out there, though? The only way to get to that beach is through the village, but no one remembers seeing you pass through..."

Mario tilted his head to the side in confusion at the Goomba's question. It was hard for him to answer, least of all because he had no idea where he was in the first place. And so he merely shrugged and shook his head, doing his best to explain his situation to the Goomba.

"You don't know how you got there, or even where 'there' is...?" the Goomba repeated slowly, unsure if she had understood Mario's rapid manner of speaking, to which the plumber nodded in confirmation. "Oh dear... That's... Troubling... Do you happen to remember anything at all before you woke up on the beach?"

Putting his hand to his chin, Mario thought for a moment before snapping up in shock, remembering instantly what he had to do. Attempting to scramble out of bed, the Goomba hastily hopped out of her chair and blocked Mario's path to the hut's only doorway.

"W-Whoa, wait, what's the hurry?" the Goomba cried in shock at Mario's sudden actions. "I don't think you should be up and about right yet, you should try and rest a bit, just to be on the safe side, don't you think?"

Mario shook his head rapidly, gesticulating madly to the Goomba about why he was in such a hurry all of a sudden.

The Goomba gasped, looking at Mario with an expression of disbelief. "O-oh my, you... You mean you're... You're Mario?"

Mario nodded quickly, used to getting such reactions but not particularly having the time to deal with such a situation at the moment.

"P-Please, wait, I... I think there's something you should see..." the Goomba said in urgency, before walking over to the hut's small, ancient looking television set and turning it on. The picture that showed up was not at all the kind of thing that Mario wanted to see, however.

"-and once again, ladies and gentlemen, for those of you who have just joined us, do not adjust your television sets, you're reading that correctly. The Mushroom Kingdom's new royal cruise liner, the Grand Toadstool, has disappeared without a trace."

Mario's breath caught in his throat. He could do little more than watch in horror at the newscast, he himself at a loss for words.

"The ship's last known location, the infamous Palmeda Triangle, is well-known as an area where many ships and aircraft mysteriously vanish, never to be seen again. What is not known is what the Royal Toadstool was doing in the area, as the princess' loyal retainer, Toadsworth, was known for his highly superstitious nature, and it is believed that there is no way that he would have let the ship sail in such a dubious place. All that is known at this time is that the ship has disappeared from any and all radar, taking along with it the incredibly precious cargo that was aboard it. Our thoughts are with those aboard the vessel, among them MKBN's very own veteran reporter, Klarc Koopsleeve, and we pray to the stars that Mario has found a way to deal with this crisis as he always does. Stay with us here on MKBN, as we continue with our ongoing coverage of this terrible turn of events throughout the night."

Mario continued to stand in stunned silence, unable to quite process what he was seeing and hearing.

The Goomba frowned heavily at the look that was etched upon Mario's face. "...Um, I think I already know the answer to this, but... You don't remember anything besides waking up on the beach, do you?"

After a few more moments of silence, Mario slowly and shakily shook his head no. This was even worse than he had imagined. Not only was Peach and the rest of the guests missing, the ENTIRE SHIP ITSELF was missing, and Mario hadn't even the foggiest idea of what could have happened to it. He didn't know too much about the Palmeda Triangle, however, his mind instinctively turned to one place, and he scowled at the thought of it.

"Huh? You think Bowser had something to do with this?" the Goomba repeated Mario's mumbling, to which he nodded emphatically. "Hmm... You may be right... But still, I find it highly unsettling that you have no knowledge of leaving the ship at all..."

Mario's shoulders slumped as he rested himself against the bed, his head starting to hurt again from the stress. What a horrible mess he had gotten himself into this time... Usually when this sort of thing happened, he at least had a lead to go on, something to let him know what it was he was supposed to do, where he was supposed to go. But he hadn't even a clue of what to do this time. Looking down at himself, he let out a small, plaintive laugh once he realized he was still wearing his tuxedo. At the very least, he was glad that his brother had reminded him to bring his regular clothing along in case he found himself in such a situation again, but it was a small, small plus.

"...Oh dear, don't look so down, Mario..." the Goomba said, once she noticed the look of distress that was displayed upon the plumber's face. "I might know someone who can help you..."

Mario's head perked up a bit at the Goomba's words.

"There's an old Shaman who lives in this village, she usually knows what to do when people here need help with something." the Goomba explained, grabbing Mario's attention. "With any luck, she can use her powers to help you figure out what you should do to find the princess and the others."

Mario hopped up in excitement at the news, thanking the stars that there happened to be a Shaman where he was. He quickly realized he hadn't even so much as thanked the Goomba yet for her hospitality, and he quickly set to work correcting that.

"Oh, you're welcome, anyone else would have done the same..." the Goomba replied modestly to Mario's thankfulness for her having nursed him back to health. "I didn't really do much anyways, besides get you off of the beach... Oh, but my name is Goombonnie, and it's a pleasure to meet you, Mario..."

Mario eagerly returned the sentiment, then asked a question he should've asked already.

"Oh, this is the village of Virona, it's a small seaside community on the outskirts of the Mushroom Kingdom." Goombonnie explained. "We hardly ever get any visitors, probably because we're so out of the way... I think the only real way of getting here outside of trekking through the jungle is by boat, but you have to go through the Palmeda Triangle to get here, so it's incredibly rare for someone to come that way..."

Goombonnie's words made Mario think deeply. If he was still near where the Royal Toadstool disappeared, then that gave him hope that it couldn't be too far away from him. Still... According to the news, there was no sign of it anywhere, and even more troubling to Mario, his clothes seemed to have no water damage whatsoever, so if he had fallen overboard and washed to shore, then his tuxedo would've shrunk enough to give him a full body wedgie. Nothing seemed right about the situation, and the lack of answers and mounting pile of questions only served to make Mario more frustrated.

"Ah... I suppose this is a situation of urgency, so perhaps resting wouldn't be the best course of action after all..." Goombonnie said after a moment, to which Mario wholeheartedly agreed. "Let me show you to the Shaman... Although, perhaps you should change out of those clothes first? They don't look all that comfortable..."

Mario nodded in agreement, realizing that he had sand wedged in uncomfortable places anyhow. Goombonnie left the hut so Mario could change, and the plumber let out a heavy sigh as he began to strip off his tuxedo to reveal his usual outfit underneath. He could already tell, this was going to be the beginning of another long, long journey... Well, at least it'd no doubt make an interesting story to tell Luigi by the time he saw him again. A frown slowly came to Mario's lips, however, as he thought of his brother. He hoped Luigi wasn't too worried about him and the princess, though he know without a doubt that he was probably freaking out. At the very least, he hoped he wouldn't do anything rash. The last thing he needed on top of everything else was to know that his brother was in danger too thanks to him...

"Ugh, not again..."

Princess Peach paced precariously back and forth, particularly unpleased at her present predicament. "Kidnapped again, and on my own cruise ship, for pete's sake! I just don't understand how this keeps happening..."

"Now now, you mustn't blame yourself, princess." Toadsworth said reassuringly, trying in vain to calm the agitated princess down. "Why, I'm sure that any minute now, Master Mario will be barging in here to rescue us in his typical heroic manner.

The two of them, along with every other passenger on the ship, had been rudely hoarded into the ship's thankfully spacious cargo hold. By who, no one could figure out, as each and every one of them had mysteriously blacked out during the cruise, but they had all awoken in that one single room, everyone but Mario, that is. As it were, however, Peach and Toadsworth were being held in a smaller, separate room from the others, clearly whoever it was responsible for the whole thing having bigger plans for the two of them, or at least the princess.

"Toadsworth, if Mario was still on this ship, he would have already done that by now!" Peach said, giving the elderly Toad a look of scorn, which she instantly regretted. "Oh, I'm sorry, Toadsworth... I didn't mean for it to come out that way... But really, I just know something terrible must have happened to Mario, he's the only one who isn't here..."

"Princess..." Toadsworth looked at Peach with pity, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder as she sat back down and let out a heavy sigh. "Please, you shouldn't worry about Master Mario, you know full well how capable he is of handling himself. I don't believe anything truly terrible has happened to him, he always finds a way to overcome adversity."

"Oh, I know, Toadsworth..." Peach said, though her face merely slumped even further in her hands with worry. "I'm just so... So... So SICK of this kind of thing happening to us! It's just not fair! This was supposed to be a fun, safe trip for all of us, and NOW look what I got us all into, yet again! Mario doesn't deserve this, you don't deserve this, and no one else on this ship deserves this! Stars alive, I'm such an idiot for making such a big deal about this whole thing, I might've well just advertised it as 'I'm out in the middle of nowhere, come and kidnap me!', for crying out loud!"

"P-Princess!" Toadsworth cried out at the Princess, not at all approving of the things she was saying. "Please, don't say such things! Now, I know that it seems unfair that this is always seemingly happening to you whenever you try to do anything, but it is in no way YOUR fault! It's just what happens when you're royalty, my dear..."

"Yeah, well I'm sick and tired of it." Peach pouted, folding her arms and shaking her head bitterly. "If it isn't Bowser, it's some other nutjob wanting to use me to further some dumb ancient prophecy or the like. This whole pure of heart business STINKS, I think I need to go out and get a tattoo or something, ANYTHING to get that awful reputation away from me!"

"P-PRINCESS!" Toadsworth uttered in horror. "I-I'll have none of that from you, young lady! And besides, being pure of heart has nothing to do with being pure of body, you silly, silly girl! You can't just 'get rid of' it, it's something you're stuck with, I'm afraid."

"Gah, that's no fair!" Peach whined, slumping further in her seat.

"And why are you even decrying your pure-heartedness in the first place, princess?" Toadsworth said in a semi-scolding manner. "For all we know, this is just Bowser again, and we both know that means absolutely nothing to him, the foul beast that he is."

"Bleah, I almost wish it was Bowser who did this, because Mario WOULD have already kicked his butt by now if it were him..." Peach stated, shaking her head in annoyance. "But this isn't his style, if it were Bowser, he would've made the loudest entrance possible to make sure everyone knew it was him, he's not the kind of guy to do something like this. No, it's probably another weirdo wanting me to help them destroy the world, they like doing things all dumb and 'mysteriously' like this. Man, I can't stand those guys..."

"Oh my..." Toadsworth said to himself in distraught, not at all liking the princess' assessment of the situation. "Those types of characters are the ones that Master Mario always seems to have such trouble with..."

"Yeah, I know..." Peach said, sighing again. "And here we are, with no way to help him, like usual. I don't suppose I'll be getting lucky again this time, and have some way to stay in contact with him..."

"Now now, I wouldn't jump to conclusions, dear girl."

Peach and Toadsworth were both put on high alert at the sound of a sudden, yet strangely familiar voice coming from seemingly nowhere.

"H-Huh? W-Who's there?" Toadsworth stuttered, raising his cane in front of him in defense of the princess. "Show yourself, you cad!"

"Oh, but what ever would be the fun in that?" the voice said slyly, laughing lightly to itself. "But don't worry, my dear princess, for you and your beloved Mario will be in contact with one another soon enough, I assure you... For now, however, I do believe it is time for a change of scenery, don't you agree, princess?"

Without any further warning, a strange, clear box appeared around Peach from out of nowhere, encasing the shocked princess in an instant. Despite the efforts of herself and the now panicked Toadsworth, she was unable to escape, and then as soon as the box had appeared, it vanished, taking Peach along with it.

"P-P-P-P-PRINCESS!" Toadsworth shouted, in absolute dread and horror.

"Don't worry, old man, your princess is in safe hands, she's merely... Being taken to another castle." the voice stated, letting loose another bout of laughter, as it seemingly disappeared from the scene as well.

"Princess...!" Toadsworth repeated, falling to his knees and clutching his heart. "N-No..."

Meanwhile, at that moment, somewhere far, far away...

A tall, hooded figure sat in the throne room of a dark, though strangely mechanical building. Gears and machines of all sizes clanked and groaned eerily from all around, the dull, bronze and silver metallic facade of the floor and walls shining dimly in what little bit of light there was in the room, all of which was being given off by candles, as the room's tall, skinny, arching windows seemed to give no light whatsoever from the other side. Nor was there any light shining in from the colossal, stained glass panes that lined the walls of the impossibly tall room, giving them all a creepy, shadowy appearance that obscured the no doubt beautiful pictures that they normally displayed.

Seated to the sides of the figure, in much smaller, less ornate seats, were four other hooded figures of varying shapes and sizes, with an empty seat amongst them.

"All is going according to plan, my liege..."

Breaking the spooky, dead silence that had previously permeated the cavernous room, another hooded figure appeared out of nowhere, in a box identical to the one that had taken Peach away, though it dissolved quickly as the figure got down on one knee and bowed regally to the taller figure in front of it.

"...So I take it they've all been accounted for, then?" the taller figure asked in a staticky voice, seemingly using some sort of machine to disguise their voice. Though nothing was visible, there did appear to be an odd, faint glow coming from within the figure's robe.

"It's getting there, my liege." the smaller figure replied, continuing quickly before the taller figure could say anything else. "The plumber and the princess have both been taken care of, now all that's left is the last one, and knowing him, he should be pathetically easy to deal with."

"...I see..." the taller figure stated after a moment of uncomfortable silence for the smaller figure. "I take it you'll be going after him now, then..."

"Of course, my liege..." the smaller figure said, bowing once again. "Rest assured, you made no mistake in 'recruiting' me for your cause... Whatever that may be."

"My, aren't we the perfect little suck up!" came the voice of one of the other figures, one that was tall and incredibly skinny in comparison to the others. In contrast to the androgynous voices of the first two figures, this one was noticeably female, though just barely.

"Hmm, yes, this one's nose is quite brown, oh yes, indeed!" chimed another figure, this one the shortest of the bunch. Like the first two, it wasn't clear whether it was a man or woman who owned the voice.

"You do know that does little more than irritate us, do you not?" added the biggest, widest figure, his voice having an odd echo to it but still clearly male.

"We have a special place for people like you where I come from, whelp." said the final figure, this one a deep, masculine baritone, to go along with his thick, manly figure.

"Now now, there's no need to be so jealous, my fellow... Fellows." the first figure said calmly, laughing. "After all, I'm sure you'll all have a chance to show you're worth something too... Eventually."

"Enough words, all of you!" the central figure said loudly, bringing all chatter in the room to a halt. "Joker, if you were expecting some sort of congratulations or pat on the back for your efforts thus far, then I'm afraid you're going to be highly disappointed. Finish your mission, and maybe then I'll have some kind words for you. Now, get back to what you were doing, and remember, do not harm ANY of them, do you hear me?"

"Loud and clear, my liege." 'Joker' said, lightly bowing once more before turning to the others. "I'll see you fellows later, but do try not to screw things up too badly in my absence."

As Joker disappeared from view in another quickly vanishing box, the central figure turned to the two figures seated to its right.

"As for you two, do either of you have any reports from your field operatives as to the status of the Dream Caster yet?"

"As a matter of fact, I do." answered the large one, before the thick one could respond himself.

"Well, do tell then, Ace, I don't have all day." the central figure said impatiently, as 'Ace' deliberately hung on his words to annoy the thick figure. "And King, that silence better not be because you have no report..."

"Pah, don't be ridiculous." 'King' spat. "Of course I have a report, and I'm already sure it's MUCH more informative than that fool over there's. After all, my underlings actually know what they're doing, unlike that bumbling idiot that HE employs!"

"Tell me then, you complete and utter stooge, why you felt it necessary to send out four of your incompetent underlings when I required but one of mine?" 'Ace' shot back immediately.

"Stop it, both of you!" the central figure shouted, the light from inside its robe pulsating sharply, causing the other hooded figures to halt their squabbling immediately. "I will not have you start another argument with one another! Need I remind you that I can send you both right back where you were prior to this, and I don't think either of you would want that, now would you?" The two figures silently shook their heads no. "That's what I thought. Now, kindly inform me of your reports, and it doesn't matter who goes first, because I hate you both and nothing is going to change that."

"...Y-Yes..." Ace stuttered, swallowing hard before composing himself and giving the central figure his report. "Well, as you know, I sent out my top enforcer for the job, and needless to say, he's struck gold. Not only has he discovered the location of the Dream Caster, he is as we speak in the process of securing it for our glory, and I expect to hear back from him at any moment on the subject, as a matter of fact."

"Likewise, my team has reported the same thing." King added. "According to them, the Dream Caster was pathetically easy to find, but they've been held up in their acquisition of it thanks in no small part to that idiot's idiotic lackey."

"Funny, because my so called 'idiot' had the same thing to say about YOUR moronic team of imbeciles!" Ace sneered in response to King's claims.

"Oh, for the love of..." the central figure began, shaking its head in disbelief. "You two need to get your acts together, and so do your underlings! Both of you get in contact with them IMMEDIATELY and tell them to start working with one another, as they were SUPPOSED to have been doing from the start!"

"Y-Yes, right away, my... Leader..." Ace said quietly, not seeming to want to have to say that last word. King merely nodded in response, and both of them shuffled out of the room rather quickly.

"As for you two..." the central figure said once King and Ace had left the room, turning to the last two remaining figures. Their laughter at their colleagues' idiocy silenced in an instant. "Be ready, as soon as they find that Dream Caster, you two will be going after the next one."

"Please, do not be doing that thing of worrying. for I am ready beyond readiness for the road ahead, as well is my loyal minion, yes indeed!" said the smaller figure with a hearty chortle.

"Likewise, so will I..." added the skinny figure simply.

"Ah, but you no longer have a deliciously competent underling as the rest of us do, do you not, my 'Queen'?" the smaller figure stated. "You must be booing and hooing with the sadness inside, with perhaps a side order of regret to round out your meal of shame!"

"Don't you worry your ugly little head about things, 'Jack'..." 'Queen' said mockingly. "You're the last person who needs to know of my brilliant plans..."

"What did I just get done telling those other two fools about arguing?" the central figure said in annoyance, shutting Queen and Jack up. "...Now, if you'll excuse me, I have more important things to attend to. I'll be back soon enough, so no slacking off in my absence."

With that, the central figure slowly made their way down the long walk to the room's humongous main set of double doors, opening them and closing them with a resounding, echoing slam. Soon after, Queen and Jack followed suit, leaving the room disturbingly quiet, other than the sounds of the gears and machines.

Gee, I'm sure NO ONE will be able to guess who any of these guys are, ehehehehe... Hey, but look, a condensed chapter, wowee! Next time, it's back to our regularly scheduled broadcasting, as we finally get onto Chapter 1!