January 17, 1988
When night came, I covered myself in black fabric, and prepared for the mission. I decided that I would bring Bonnie along with me, since she would cry if I left her alone. I dug out an old, black, velvet curtain and fashioned an outfit for Bonnie. We ended up looking like ninjas, but that was kind of the point. I also whipped together a few straps, a pot, and some hooks, and created a new basket. I set Bonnie in the basket and strapped it to my back. "Ready?" I asked Bonnie. "Ready more than ever!" She replied. "Ok! Let's do this!" I shouted, and I teleported out into the outside world. I arrived at an old, creepy mansion, where ivy was crawling up the walls. Bonnie whined, "It's too scary!" "Shh! We can't leave until we have the plants!" I whisper-yelled. We needed Nightshade, a drop of syrup from the Maximus tree, wolfsbane, and aconite. Crap! There were no trees in sight! I teleported into a garden, and I got lucky. There was nightshade creeping up an arch in the center of the garden. "We've found nightshade, Bonnie!" I whispered excitedly. "Yay!" She whispered back. I picked 3 nightshade blossoms off of the vine, and moved on to find some wolfsbane. There were several gardens surrounding the mansion, so we would have to search for a while.
I teleported to a nearby garden, but there was no wolfsbane to be seen. A spider crawled up my back, its spindly legs poking at my spine. I shuddered. An owl hooted in the midst of the night, making Bonnie whimper. I searched many other gardens, and finally, I came across some wolfsbane. After I collected my share, Bonnie, excited more than ever, squealed in delight at the sight of the wolfsbane. A nearby dog's booming bark sounded. "Damn it!" I thought. Bonnie continued to squeal, and I desperately tried to shut her up. Suddenly, a dark shadow appeared in front of us. I gasped. The shadow trotted toward us. Soon, a big, burly, intimidating dog appeared in front of us. I froze still and held my breath. The dog sniffed my legs and circled me. Shivering, I eyed the dog, who was now checking out Bonnie. Fortunately, the dog, disinterested, trotted away back to the house. I exhaled, and burst into a fit of coughing. When I recovered, I returned back to collecting plants. Crap! I had forgotten what aconite was! I looked at the nightshade and wolfsbane in my basket, and I sighed. I might be stuck with these babies forever!
Suddenly, something popped into my head. Aconite was the same thing as wolfsbane! I gathered more wolfsbane, but I still needed one more ingredient. Suddenly, Bonnie screamed out, "YAY!" The sound echoed through the night, startling a flock of birds and disturbing the peace. I covered her mouth, but it was too late. A light turned on from inside, and soon, the whole house was awake. I teleported far away from the house into a field full of tall grass, and assumed that I was safe there. I was wrong. They were still pursuing me. Several minutes later, a light shone and hit me, and I heard a human shout, "There it is!" Another said, "Stop where you are!" I froze and stared back at them, but they pulled out rifles and pointed the barrels at me. "What do you think you are doing? Get the f*ck out of MY land, you bastard!" The bigger man shouted. "Uh, SORRY! It's in the middle of the night, and it's really dark! None of the lights in the house were on! How the hell would I know where I was?" I lied quickly. "Oh GOD! I HATE LOGICAL PEOPLE!" He screamed angrily. "F*ck you!" I screamed angrily. The man clenched his fists with rage, and shouted, "Smithers, SHOOT HIM!" I sprinted away, and while I ran, Bonnie stuck her middle finger up and said, "Suck on it, BITCHES!" The men charged, and I quickly picked up a nearby rock, straining from the weight, and teleported onto a tree. I heard a faint "Where'd he go?" Another voice sounded, "I don't know, and I don't care! Isn't it a bit harsh to shoot a trespasser who doesn't know who he is?"
I heard more indistinct chatter, but soon, the men arrived at the tree where I was hiding. "That bastard! No one would DARE to trespass MY land!" He shouted angrily, while jumping up and down in fury. Suddenly , Bonnie sneezed. To my horror, the men looked up and spotted us. "THERE THEY ARE!" One screamed, and they both pulled the triggers on their rifles. They were just about to shoot when I picked up my rock, and dropped it from the 10 foot high tree. The rock landed on top of the bastards with a sickening crunch. I clambered down the tree with celerity and tried to teleport, but I was lagging. I sprinted away at top speed, Bonnie gripping my waist and holding onto life. After a while of vigorous sprinting, I fell on the ground, panting. I looked up, and I recognized something about the trees that I was near. The gargantuan trunks, the familiar cordate leaves, and the unique patterns on the bark. I was laying on the ground right next to a forest of Maximus trees! "Oh my God, oh my GOD!" I exclaimed in delight. I quickly drilled a small hole with a drilling contraption I built, and I let the sap flow into a flask. The color of the sap was glorious, a brilliant fiery red that glimmered before my eyes. I decided to test the sap out just to make sure that it was Maximus tree sap. I picked up a spider on the ground, and dripped a miniscule amount of sap into its mouth. Immediately, it began to grow, and I eventually ended up with a gargantuan spider the size of a deer!
"Yes! It worked!" I shouted excitedly. Bonnie chimed in and yelled "Yeah!" Exhausted and happy, I teleported back to the pizzeria with Bonnie. The sun was just beginning to rise, and all the others were still sleeping. I told Bonnie, "We did well. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have gotten the chance to do something evil." I took out all of my potion equipment and prepared for the brewing.