January 18, 1988
Today was absolutely horrid. My day was ruined by two little abominations- Bonnie and Toy Bonnie.
Bonnie really started to stink, so I decided to give her a bath. "Bonnie, let's go to the bathroom. You need to wash up." I said. "No, it's fine! I don't n-need a bath!" Bonnie exclaimed frantically. "Come on, Bonnie! You reek! You smell absolutely putrid!" I said, exasperated. "Come on, it's really not that-" She sniffed her armpit and retched. "b-bad," She lied, while straining to act natural. I picked her up, and she started sobbing. "No! PUT ME DOWN!" She screamed. "Come on, let's go," I growled. I carried a screaming Bonnie into the bathroom where she jumped to the ground and started having a fit. "YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME!" She screamed. I ignored her and started running some warm water. Bonnie's screams were just about loud enough to make a guy with decent hearing go completely deaf. After the tub of water was full, I commanded, "Get in the tub!" NO! NEVER!" She screamed angrily. "GET IN THE F*CKING TUB!" I screamed, enraged. "LIKE HELL I WILL!" Bonnie screamed furiously. "Ugh! Well, I guess there's only one way to fix this problem," I said, while thinking. "Let me out?" Bonnie asked me. SHe looked up at me with cute, shiny, innocent eyes, but that wasn't going to do the trick. I never fell for cuteness. I picked up Bonnie and carried her over to the bathtub. "NO! NO! PUT ME DOWN!" She screamed. I ignored her screams and set her in the shallow water.
"NONONONONONO!" Bonnie screamed as she thrashed and flailed violently in my arms. "It's just a BATH! For goodness SAKE!" I shouted, exasperated. "NO! NO! I'M GONNA DROWN! HELP ME!" Bonnie sobbed hysterically. "Dude! You're in 3 inches of water! Woman up!" I exclaimed, irritated by Bonnie's outrageous antics. She started flailing in the water and screamed, "GET ME OUT OF HERE! I WANT MY MOMMY!" She screamed, tears pouring out of her eyes. "Bonnie, your mom's not here! She's not going to come!" I yelled angrily. "M-M-MAMA! MAMA!" Bonnie cried out. Suddenly, Chica barged in, took a look at the sobbing rabbit, and told me, "Let me handle this!" She walked over to Bonnie and said, "Ok, honey. Mommy's here. You're gonna be just fine." Chica comforted her. "NO! I WON'T BE FINE!" Bonnie screamed. "Come on, Bonnie! Everyone takes baths!" Chica told Bonnie. "Well, I don't wanna!" Bonnie whined. "Trust me, Bonnie! I won't let you die! I swear!" Chica exclaimed. Bonnie sniffled. "R-really? I-I'm not gonna d-die?" "Goodness, no! Sweetheart, you're not going to die! Now, let's get you cleaned up. "O-ok," Bonnie sniffed. Chica poured a drop of shower gel onto a loofah, and she started gently scrubbing Bonnie.
Soon, the water turned brown from all the weeks of filth. After Bonnie was cleaned, Chica said, "There! Now that wasn't so bad! Right?" She asked Bonnie. "I-I guess not," Bonnie said, tears still in her eyes. "There we go! There's my little girl! Now, if you need anything, Mommy will be right here for you!" She exclaimed happily. "Tsh! Mommy," I scoffed. "Thanks, Mama! I love you!" Bonnie exclaimed. "I love you too!" Chica said happily. "Lesbian!" I exclaimed. "Goldie! That's very rude! Go to your room!" Chica commanded. "Uh! Fine by me!" I scoffed. Chica had gone into full mother mode. I teleported back to my secret room and decided that it was a good time for potion brewing, but there was one more abomination that I was unaware of.
Let's just say that I TRIED to make potions. I did everything correct, but another little abomination screwed them up. The abomination goes by another name- Toy Bonnie. As soon as I got back to my room, Toy Bonnie started causing trouble. I took out all my ingredients and prepared for brewing, but Toy Bonnie snatched my Maximus syrup and guzzled down half the bottle! "Dammit, Toy Bonnie! Look what you just did!" I screamed, enraged, as she started to enlarge. Suddenly, her size tripled, and her head smashed through the low ceiling. "F*ck! Oh my GOD, FREDDY'S GONNA BE SO MAD, AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" I screamed, irate. Foxy barged in and asked, "Hey! What's all that racket-" He spotted gargantuan Bonnie and stopped. "AAAAAAHHHHHH! BONZILLA ATTACK!" He screamed hysterically and dashed out of the room, panicking. Annoyed, I screamed, "Now, LISTEN HERE, YOU LITTLE SH-" My reply was cut off by Freddy slamming the door open.
"HEY! KEEP IT DOWN IN THERE! He hollered irately. Suddenly, a giant hand stretched forward and squeezed the life out of Freddy. His head bulged, and his eyeballs almost popped out of his sockets. "P-PUT M-ME DOWN!" He rasped. Toy Bonnie forcefully squeezed Freddy with her tremendous fist. Freddy squeaked like a dog toy. Just when he was about to die from asphyxiation, Toy Bonnie threw Freddy into the air and punched him hard, sending him crashing into a wall. "GOD DAMN IT!" I shrieked as I snatched my wand off of the shelf and shrunk Bonnie down to normal size. "OH MY GOD! MY HEAD IS GOING TO EXPLODE ANY TIME NOW, AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" I screamed, fuming. Toy Bonnie gave me a devious smirk and walked away like nothing had happened. I growled. After I calmed down, I started to brew the potion.
I started off by stewing the nightshade until the water turned a deep purple. Then, I added precisely 5 drops of the Maximus sap and stirred. Suddenly, a shadow appeared behind me. It was Toy Bonnie. "WHAT DO YOU F*CKING WANT?" I screeched, indignant. She made an evil face as she picked up a bottle of vodka and dumped it in my potion. "GOD DAMN IT!" I screamed as the potion suddenly turned a vile green. Alcohol + Nightshade + Maximus Sap = spewing cauldron. I had come across that while reading my potions book, and I was glad that I came across it. The potion started frothing, and I backed up, unable to calm myself. The cauldron started violently spewing out its contents, splattering the room with repulsive green sludge. "F*CKING F*CK!" I screamed, ballistic at what that little abomination had done.
"OH MY F*CKING GOD! YOU LITTLE CUNT!" I screamed, fuming. "FREDDY'S GONNA KILL ME, AND IT'S ALL YOUR F*CKING FAULT!" I furiously stomped over to a crate, picked it up, and slammed it over Toy Bonnie's head. I then proceeded to move my equipment over to the crate and sit on the crate so that she wouldn't be able to get out. The crate shook under me, so I put my full body weight on it. After about an hour, I picked up the crate, and there lay Toy Bonnie, passed out from the lack of oxygen. First, I grabbed my wand and used a cleaning sell on the room. Job done. Then, I started to brew the potion. I stewed the nightshade for about half an hour and added 5 drops of tree sap and stirred for another half hour. The result was a fiery magenta liquid with the texture of thinned out slime. I would have to wait until it cooled, then I could add the aconite. Just then, Toy Bonnie began to move. I quickly poured the incomplete potion into an ornate glass bottle, popped a cork into the mouth, stuffed it into a chest and locked it. I then picked up Toy Bonnie and took her into the room, where Bonnie and Chica were playing Chutes and Ladders.
"And then, you move 6 squares left- Oh, you won! Good job!" Chica cooed in a condescending tone. "Hey, what's wrong with them?" Toy Bonnie asked me, still dizzy from passing out. "Well, you've missed out on a LOT, my friend!" I exclaimed. "Oh, by the way, you stay right here! I need to go get something," I commanded. I had just remembered that I needed to catch the culprit who stole my spell book. The only handprints that were supposed to be on there were my handprints and one of Toy Freddy's handprints. I teleported to the kitchen and grabbed a handful of cornstarch, and I teleported back to the room. I evenly spread a thin layer of cornstarch on the front and back covers of the book. I had only looked at it for a few seconds, but I immediately realized who did it.
There were my fine-boned handprints and Toy Freddy's fat, pudgy handprints, but I turned the book over and saw a thin, withered, wrinkly handprint. The handprint of a drug addict. "TOY CHICA!" I screamed, nearly boiling over. I teleported to the bathroom, and sitting in one of the stalls was Toy Chica, smoking and doing meth. "HIC-! W-what -HIC!- d-d-do you w-want?" She said giddily. I said nothing, but I gave her a death glare. A moment later, I came back holding a baseball bat. "No-HIC!- D-d-don't beat me up!" She protested. I ignored her and smashed the bat forcefully into her head, causing her to power down. I teleported to the show stage, and to my surprise, Toy Bonnie was playing with Bonnie and Chica. I sighed in relief, and went back to brewing the potion. I added the aconite, and the potion turned hot pink. The next step was to freeze it for 3 weeks. 3 weeks? "I don't know if I'll be able to survive with two babies anymore!" I thought impatiently to myself.