I went outside and mindlessly walked backstage. Immediately, I regretted that decision. Mangle and Foxy were making out once again. I retched, but there was something unusual about it. Nauseous, I took a closer look at them, and I noticed that Foxy had a black velvet box in his hand! F*CKING F*CK! MY worst nightmare had come true. Foxy and Mangle were getting married. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed as I teleported around the pizzeria, clutching my head. My fingers dug into my head, causing me pain and even more terror. Exhausted and paranoid, I leaned against a wall and started hyperventilating. "BONNIE! TOY BONNIE! GET THE F*CK OVER HERE!" I screamed. Moments later, Toy Bonnie came zooming on a motorcycle down the hall as fast as it could go, carrying a screaming Bonnie on her back. I groaned. That was the motorcycle that Mike Schmidt left behind. He had forgotten to take it home, and now, Toy Bonnie was riding on it.
"STOP! YOU'RE MOVING TOO FAST!" Bonnie shrieked while holding on to Toy Bonnie's back. Toy Bonnie! I thought that I told you not to use my motorcycle!" I screamed over the noise of the engine. All of a sudden, Toy Bonnie hit the brakes, and with a huge jolt, Bonnie went flying into a wall. "Again, you should have paid more attention in physics class," I muttered. "WAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Bonnie, her head now sporting a bump, was sobbing her eyes out over by the wall. "UGH!" I groaned. It was back to the old days where Bonnie still couldn't walk or talk. Except Bonnie could walk and talk. "TOY BONNIE! I'LL KILL YOU!" Bonnie screamed through a fit of tears. Toy Bonnie smirked. "That's what you get for hogging all of Goldie's attention," "Well, it's not my fault that you tortured him every day!" Bonnie yelled angrily. "It's not my fault that Golden Freddy's a f*cking asshole!" Toy Bonnie screamed. Bonnie gasped. Ballistic, I screamed, "ENOUGH!"
As soon as the scream left my mouth, the room became so silent that you could hear water drip. Both Bonnie and Toy Bonnie gawked at me, astonished at my anger. I tightened my jaw and clenched my fists. "It's one thing to argue, but it's another thing to insult someone who's put up with a copious amount of your outrageous antics!" I snapped, severely pissed off. "We're sorry, Golden Freddy!" Bonnie apologized. "Dude, it's more of Toy Bonnie's problem, not yours!" I exclaimed, exasperated. "But, still! That's not the reason why I called you here. I called you here because I needed t tell you that FOXY AND MANGLE ARE GETTING MARRIED!" I screamed. "Eww!" Bonnie squealed in disgust. "Ooh! Can we crash the wedding? Can we dump pies on everyone? Please?" Toy Bonnie asked. "Oh! That reminds me! Can I swear into the microphone?" Bonnie asked. "Touché, dudes. Touché," I replied.
January 19, 1988
"Ok, guys!" I exclaimed. I had drawn a diagram of what we were to do to crash the wedding. "First of all, the wedding is the day after tomorrow, which is the 21st. We need to hurry if we want to crash it well," I announced. "Trap #1 is gluing mealworms to the inside of Foxy's suit. Those things can bite, so we better put A LOT!" I declared. "Next, we have to hide pies in the confetti machine. This way, instead of confetti raining down on the guests, it'll be pies! Oh, and to make things worse, the pies won't be normal pies. They'll be Chica's fail pies!" I exclaimed excitedly. Bonnie started cracking up. "What?" I snapped. "I just pic- pictured- OH MY GOD HAHAHAHAHA!" Bonnie stammered through a full on hysterics session. "Pictured what?" I asked impatiently. "Pictured- M-m-mangle with pie all over her!" Bonnie managed to say before cracking up again. "Also, one of us will sprinkle cayenne pepper all over the bouquets, so that whoever goes to sniff them will get a nasty surprise!"
"The best and most despicable prank is rigging an electric source to the doorknobs! Since metal can conduct electricity, one of us will wrap exposed ends of wires that are connected to a strong electrical source to all the exit doorknobs!" I exclaimed. "Oh my God, you're such a badass!" Toy Bonnie shouted excitedly. "Yep. And that's why I called you guys to help me out ! That way, we can be even MORE badass!" For once, Toy Bonnie and I were on the same page. The rabbits helped me with deciding on more plans, but I decided to come up with a final plan. "The last prank, which is the best, of course, is putting a touch activated bomb in the cake!" Both Bonnies oohed. "This way, when someone cuts the cake, the bomb will activate and blow cake everywhere!" I screamed maniacally. Bonnie's already present smile widened. "Ok, no time to waste! Let's get some bugs!" I exclaimed. "I know where a local pet store is, and they sell mealworms. We'll need to turn ourselves invisible with my spell book and wand. It'll work like this, I'll teleport you guys to the pet store, and we'll each grab a box of mealworms and I'll teleport us back." I explained. "Remember this, invisible people can see other invisible people, so we can still see where each of us are," I told them. "Let's GO!"
I snatched my wand off the shelf and cast an invisibility spell on the three of us. I then linked hands with them and teleported to the pet store. "Ok, guys! We need to act quickly! We can't afford to get caught!" I whispered. Several suspicious dogs turned their heads toward us at the sound of my voice. "Go!" We all sprinted to the live insect section. "This is your chance! Take one, and make it quick!" I hissed. We all grabbed a container full of the revolting insects ad teleported back. I used the countercurse for the invisibility spell, and we were all visible again.
January 20, 1988
I woke up to a horrendous stench drifting throughout the pizzeria. I looked around to find that both Bonnies were gone. I immediately teleported to the kitchen, where Bonnie and Toy Bonnie were making the most revolting pie ever. The filling contained eggs, vinegar, ketchup, mustard, cranberry juice, and many other mismatched ingredients to create a repulsive brown sludge. "Eww, you guys!" By disgusting, I didn't mean THIS disgusting!" I exclaimed. "But it's fun making it!" Bonnie whined. "And we can dump it on the guests!" Toy Bonnie added. "Hmm, good point," I admitted. Together, we could put together the most revolting filling for a pie that ever came into existence. "But, there's one more thing," Bonnie told me. "What?" I snapped. "We need to make it MORE disgusting!" Toy Bonnie screamed maniacally. "Ok, I've got this!" I exclaimed.
I added some cornstarch and some mayonnaise into the mixture. I also added some ground up fish paste and some lard to the mixture. "Perfect!" The Bonnies shrieked in unison. "Eww," I muttered. "Wait!" I exclaimed. "You guys, I have another gross ingredient in mind!" "What is it?" They asked. With a smirk, I pulled out a piece of raw steak dripping with blood. I rushed over to the bowl full of the revolting sludge and squeezed out EVERY SINGLE DROP of blood from the steak. "Oh, yeah!" Toy Bonnie exclaimed. "That ought to teach Foxy and Mangle not to get married," I thought to myself and smiled. We also added some live mealworms into the mix to up the ante. The result was a huge glop of rubbish enough to fill 50 pies. After we dumped the mixture into pie crusts, we stuck them in the oven and waited for 10 minutes.
Those 10 minutes were the longest 10 minutes I had ever lived through. I had to withstand the repulsive stench drifting throughout the kitchen, and I also had to put up with Toy Bonnie constantly bugging me about the time.
"Is it done?"
"No"
"Is it done?"
"No!"
"Is it done yet?"
"Shut the hell up!"
"Is it done yet?"
"OH MY GOD, WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT THE F*CK UP?!"
"Umm, is it done yet?"
"UGGGH!"
I couldn't take it anymore, so I whacked Toy Bonnie hard. Just about then, ten minutes passed. "Is it done?" She asked. "YES!" I snapped impatiently. I took 50 stinking pies out of the oven, and sure enough, they were disgusting as hell. "Ok, you guys. The wedding's tomorrow at noon. We've got all the stuff we need to crash this thing. We need to get to the church at the crack of dawn to make sure everything goes accordingly," I said. "I'll set the alarm for 5:00 AM. For now, just catch some z's,"
I dreamed that I was taking over the world. Everyone was bowing in front of me, and I was sitting in a castle, on the highest chair that I had ever seen. Apparently, Bonnie was one of my minions, because she burst in and said, "Master Golden Freddy, there is still one who refuses to obey your orders!" "WHAT?!" I screamed, infuriated. "Yes, it's a guy named Freddy Fazbear," She told me. Just then, Freddy burst in through the castle gates and screamed, "Golden Freddy! I've had enough of your crap!" Surrender now or DIE!" I looked around, and the only one supporting Freddy was himself. I burst into laughter and scoffed, "You? Just you? You can't take over my mighty empire! Besides, you're the only one in your pathetic little army!" "Well, now you're gonna have it!" Freddy screamed as he charged at me, whipping out a large sword. Disinterested, I pulled out a high-tech laser gun and blew Freddy's head off. "NOW I AM THE RULER OF THIS WORLD! MWAHAHAHAHA!"
Suddenly, an alarm went off. I snapped awake, interrupted from my dream, took one glance at the clock, and headed to the Bonnies. It was 5:00 AM. Bonnie was already half awake. I grabbed Toy Bonnie, who was still sleeping soundly, and shook her hard. "Wake up, you lazy bitch!" I hissed. "Come on, let's get to the church!" I said, as I dragged the Bonnies outside and strapped them onto Mike's motorcycle. "Let's go!" I shouted as I started up the roaring engine.