Ok, sorry guys, but from now on, I will stop censoring swears. I know this story is rated T, but still, uncensored swears seem to flow much better.
It was a long ride to the church. It all started out as normal motorcycle ride through the suburbs, but once again, Toy Bonnie rankled me with her exasperating antics.
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No!"
"Are we there yet?"
"NO! You heard me!"
"Are we there yet?"
"Shut up, Toy Bonnie!"
"Are we there yet?"
"HELL NO!"
"Are we there yet?"
That was the last straw. Furious, I screeched to a stop right in front of a garbage dumpster.
"NO, WE'RE NOT THERE YET! AND IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'LL THROW YOU INTO THAT FUCKING DUMPSTER!" I screamed, enraged. "Ok, ok, geez! Calm down!" Toy Bonnie exclaimed, slightly intimidated. "NO! I will not calm down, and you can FUCK OFF! WE'VE STILL GOT A FUCKING WEDDING TO CRASH, AND IF THINGS GO WRONG BECAUSE WE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME, I'LL FUCKING MURDER YOUR ASS!" I screamed. Indignant, I stomped back to the motorcycle and continued in angrily driving to the church.
Surprisingly, we arrived at the church at 6:15, which gave me more than enough time to set things up before the wedding. Everything was already set up, and the cake was in the refrigerator. I led the Bonnies to the back door, where I disabled the alarm and snuck in. "Ok, you guys go to the confetti machines and replace the streamers with the pies. I'll go rig the doorknobs and stuff Foxy's suit with bugs," I commanded. The Bonnies worked together surprisingly well, and soon, the streamer dispensers were filled with rotten pies. For the door, I drilled a tiny hole through the sides of the doors, fed some wires through, and secured the wires at the bottom of the doorknobs so that nobody would see them. I then took the wires and rigged them to a switch, which I then rigged to a car battery. I wouldn't turn on the switch until the ceremony was over when people would be exiting. For a final improvement, I hid cameras everywhere and linked them to a tablet that I stole. Hehe. Now I would be able to see everyone suffering! I went back to the kitchen, and it turns out that the Bonnies were done with their much simpler task before me.
I took out the box of mealworms and some superglue and walked down to the dressing room, where Foxy's suit was hung up. "Payback time!" I thought to myself as I pulled out the insects and started to glue them inside Foxy's suit in places that he wouldn't notice. I got bitten a couple times, but it was worth the pain. I glued copious amounts of mealworms in the armpit area of the suit. Hell, I even glued some in his pants! I snickered as I finished up the task. Foxy and Mangle would be in for a living hell today!
After I finished gluing bugs to Foxy's suit, I quickly cut a few holes in Mangle's dress and went back to the chapel, where I met up with the Bonnies. "Ok, guys. I've decided to put some ipecac in the lemonade. Bring the bomb and remote, the knife and the frosting, and let's go!" I commanded. Once we got to the kitchen, I handed Bonnie the ipecac and Toy Bonnie the lemonade. I opened the fridge, and sure enough, the cake was in there. For the final prank, I cut a slice of cake out, trying to be as neat as possible, set the bomb to 5 seconds, and stuffed it in the cake. I put the slice of cake back, and to hide up any evidence, I used frosting to cover up any marks. "Yeah!" I exclaimed as I reached out for a triple high five. We headed back to the chapel and packed up our supplies, but I had another evil plan. I took some wire cutters and snipped all the strings on the piano. Yep, there was a piano instead of an organ. "Ok, guys. Remember, we're gonna insult everybody in the middle of the ceremony. We're gonna go to the back room and plug in a microphone into the speakers. Got it?" The Bonnies nodded. "Alright! Let's go back to the pizzeria!" I exclaimed. I packed my stuff, got the Bonnies, and hopped on the motorcycle.
Once again, this happened.
"Are we there yet?"
"FUCK!" I screamed as I screeched to a stop and chucked Toy Bonnie into a dumpster. Bonnie snickered as Toy Bonnie screamed in the background, writhing in garbage. "Bitch deserved that," I muttered. "But still, we can pull this off without her," "Are you sure?" Bonnie asked. "Yep. She didn't do much in the original plan anyways,"
It was 8:30 when we got back to the pizzeria. Surprisingly, nobody was up yet. "Hey, Bonnie! You wanna do something funny?" I asked. "Yeah! What is it?" She asked. "So you know air horns, right? Let's blow one in Freddy's ear!" Bonnie snickered. I teleported to the supply closet, grabbed an air horn, and teleported back to Bonnie. She took the air horn, and we snuck to the Show Stage, where Freddy was sleeping. I snickered. Bonnie sneakily walked over to Freddy and gave his ear a full blast of an air horn. "OW, FUCK!" Freddy screamed furiously. "YOU BLOW THAT FUCKING HORN AGAIN, I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL RAM THAT FUCKING THING UP YOUR GOD DAMN ASS!" I started cracking up, and before Freddy could act, I teleported into my room and laughed until my sides hurt.
Eventually, Bonnie pattered over to the secret room and demanded for a dress. "Hell no," I thought. There were no dresses around Freddy Fazbear's! I dug through my closet, searching for a suitable dress for Bonnie. There were millions of suits, bowties, and hats, but no dresses. I was about to give up when I caught a glimpse of a short black dress that looked like it would fit Bonnie. I picked it up and tossed it out the door, and Bonnie excitedly ran into the bathroom to change. Suddenly, a loud and angry banging sounded. It seemed to be coming from the front door. God damn it! Toy Bonnie was back!
Her makeup was streaked, her face was covered in dirt, and she reeked of garbage. Furious with her spoiled appearance, she stormed into my room and began to scream at me. "WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?" She screamed. I snapped "Because you're a prissy, annoying, bitch! Why else would I do that?" "Fine then! Now, you better clean me up and go find a dress for me!" She snapped. "Oh, I'm sorry, but this isn't Nordstrom! I only found one dress, and I gave it to someone else!" I returned her sass. "WHO?!" The bitch screamed. Right at that moment, Bonnie came walking in, wearing the dress that I found. "HER?!" Toy Bonnie screamed in shock. "It's me who deserves the dress! I'm more than 5 times prettier than her!" "You know, it's probably from all the makeup, so shut up!" Bonnie snapped. I spit on a tissue, wiped it all over Toy Bonnie's face. She squirmed in disgust, but after that, I could definitely see Bonnie's point. "You know, she's right, so just wear this for now." I said, handing Toy Bonnie a trash bag. "
"WHAT?!" Toy Bonnie shrieked in disgust and anger. "YOU EXPECT ME TO WEAR THAT THING TO A WEDDING?!" I began to grow impatient with her. "You wouldn't want to show up wearing just that bowtie, would you?" I snapped. "NO!" She screamed. "THEN WEAR THE GOD DAMN THING!" I screeched angrily, stamping my foot down. "FUCK NO!" Toy Bonnie screamed, irate at the fact that I was ignoring her fashion needs. Fuming, I walked up to Toy Bonnie and stuffed the trash bag over her head. "MMMMMPHHH!" MMPPHH!" Toy Bonnie screamed, but they were muffled by the trash bag. "Since you smell like garbage, you might as well look like garbage," I muttered. "WELL, FUCK YOU!" Toy Bonnie screeched in anger, but I quickly put on a hoodie and dragged her out the door, Bonnie trailing at my heels. On the ride to the church, I didn't have to worry about Toy Bonnie pissing me off anymore. I had tied her hands together and taped her mouth. Angry muffled screams sounded from the back of the motorcycle, but none of those obnoxious "Are we there yets". Pretty soon, we had gotten to the church, where everyone was waiting already. Toy Bonnie stomped into the church, and I shooed both of them into the camera room, where everything was set up.
"Alright, this should be it!" I thought as I switched the cameras to Mangle's dressing room and turned the audio on. A "What the fuck?" sounded. Mangle had put on the dress, only to see that hundreds of holes had been cut into it. Bonnie snickered. "WHAT THE HELL!" Mangle erupted into a fit. "NOTHING'S GONNA BE PERFECT!" She sobbed. "Hehe. Bridezilla," I sneered, and Bonnie pulled at her dress. "Yeah, since we're not gonna be seen, you might as well take it off," I said. "Ooh! Does this mean I get to keep it?" Toy Bonnie asked enthusiastically. "Absolutely not!" I said as I stuffed the dress into my bag of backup tools. "Let's move on to Foxy!" I told them. Foxy was in his dressing room, already decked out in his suit. I flipped the audio on, and Foxy let out a horrid groan and grasped at his crotch. "Ow! What the hell?" He exclaimed angrily. All of a sudden, the mealworms grew even more violent and started gnawing at his underwear. "OW! OH MY GODDDDD! NOT MY THING!" He screamed in pain, dropped down on the floor, and started rolling around. Toy Bonnie and Bonnie simultaneously cracked up, followed by me. "HA! HE FINALLY GOT WHAT HE DESERVED!" Toy Bonnie laughed. Well, at least the bitchiest of bitches cheered up. Huh.
Guffawing, we switched cameras to the chapel and watched as Chica appeared on screen and approached the roses. "OOH! Pretty flowers!" Chica squealed as she went in for a sniff. We stared at the computer in awe and waited for that hilarious moment where Chica would realize that the flowers were filled with capsaicin powder. I held my breath as Chica's beak got closer and closer to the flowers until a piercing scream cut through the air like a knife. "OWWWW! AAAAHHHHH!" Chica screamed in pain as her hands flew to her beak, causing her to stumble backwards, trip over Foxy, who knocked into Freddy, who's head bashed into a wall, creating a gaping hole in it. Instantly, I fell out of my chair and started rolling on the floor, laughing, followed by the Bonnies. Chica sat there holding her beak and trembled like a leaf. "OH MY GOD, CHICA, YOU STUPID BITCH!" Freddy screamed, pieces of plaster and wood sticking out of his hat. "SORRY!" Chica wailed. Seeing Freddy like that only made us laugh harder. "So much for that $150 hat, huh?" Bonnie exclaimed.
After the hilarity of wedding preparations, there was definitely a lot more to come. As the ceremony started, the wedding pianist sat down at the piano and began, but it was most likely not what everyone expected. Instead of the melodious sound of a piano, a dreadful discordant sound rang through the chapel, causing everyone to scream. "WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?" Toy Freddy exclaimed angrily. Toy Bonnie snickered and zoomed in on Chica, whose eyes were red from capsaicin and who was blowing her nose angrily. "Looks like everyone's having fun," I said sarcastically. Bonnie smirked and zoomed in on Freddy, who was hurling all over the floor before collapsing in it.. "Hehe. Concussions are bitches." I sneered, watching Freddy's pathetic display.
Apparently, it was the last straw for the pianist, who uttered a barrage of horrific obscenities before furiously storming out the door. Everyone gasped. They knew that this wedding was going to be a catastrophe. But just at that moment, Foxy walked in, hands still held over his crotch, followed by Mangle, whose makeup looked like it had been done by a blind guy having a seizure. Toy Bonnie zoomed in on her face and shuddered. "Geez! Even Toy Chica could do better than that!" She complained. Right at that moment, Toy Chica burst into the chapel, swaying, staggering, and holding a 40 ounce bottle of 75% vodka. "Speak of the devil," Bonnie muttered. I turned the audio up. This was about to get good.
"S-sup, bitches! Y'all having fun?" Toy Chica stuttered. Everyone gasped. "Oh, FUCK!" Foxy screamed, not wanting her to be here. "Yeah! Let's party!" WOOOOOO!" She exclaimed drunkenly as she began to throw singles everywhere. "Umm, I'm no genius but I'm pretty sure this isn't a strip club," Toy Freddy started. "HEY! Shut up, motherfucker!" Toy Chica slurred. "Oh, and does this sexy guy need a lap dance?" She exclaimed as she strutted over to Foxy. Mangle stared in horror as Toy Chica started twerking on Foxy. I snickered and zoomed in on Mangle's face. "WOOO! PARTY!" Toy Chica screamed as she climbed up on the American Flag and started using it as a strip pole. "OH. MY. GOD. This just got a million times better!" Bonnie screamed. All of a sudden, Toy Chica ripped off her crop top, revealing her literally size DDD fake titties. Toy Bonnie's jaw dropped, and she started snickering. Foxy's mouth fell open, and I zoomed in on him, only to see the middle of his pants raise up into a LARGE bump. This was already too much for me. I fell off of the chair and rolled on the floor laughing uncontrollably. "OH MY GOD FOXY'S HAVING A HUGE BONER!" Bonnie screamed through the speakers for all to hear. Everyone stared at Foxy' pants and went hysterical, except for Mangle, who walked up to Foxy and kicked him in the balls. MAKE IT RAIN ON ME, BITCHES!" Toy Chica exclaimed as she downed the last of the vodka, fell off the flagpole with a crash, and passed out drunk.
"Yo, you guys, she's wasted!" Toy Freddy exclaimed, pointing at an unconscious Toy Chica. Mangle growled. "Where's the motherfucking preacher? Shouldn't he be in here?" Foxy groaned, holding his crotch. Right on time, a creepy puppet wearing a black and white striped shirt walked in. "We are gathered here to celebrate two lives becoming one today," He started. "Blah, blah, blah, to be pronounced husband and wife, boring stuff, two souls becoming one," He droned on, skipping out on multiple parts of the speech. "Heh. What's wrong with Marri today?" I said. Bonnie shifted in her chair nervously. "Bonnie? What did you do?" I said impatiently. "I- um, kinda..." She stammered. "JUST GET TO THE POINT!" I snapped. "I drugged him." She said. "Hehe. Nice one. "Yada, yada, yada, everlasting love, why am I even a priest?" He mumbled. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I now pronounce you husband and wife, go make out I'm done," He said as he walked out. "Alright you guys, pie time!" I exclaimed as I moved my hand closer and closer to the strings of the confetti machines. I stared at the cameras and as Foxy went in for a full on make out, Bonnie screamed, "PULL IT!" I yanked the ropes, and HARD. I teleported back to the camera and was just in time for the hilarity. All of a sudden, hundreds of rotten pies fell from the ceiling and splattered all over Foxy, Mangle, and the other guests.
"OH MY GOD!" Mangle screamed, almost in tears. "Oh, EW, EWW- IT GOT IN MY MOUTH!" Chica shrieked, scrabbling frantically at her beak. A pie fell down and narrowly missed Toy Freddy, hitting the floor with a sickening squishing. "Ugh! No way I'm eating that!" He exclaimed. "WHAT THE FUCK! I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CONFETTI!" Foxy howled. "What the fuck?" Freddy woke up, delirious. "What the fuck is this motherfuckers? Who the hell are you?" He snapped angrily. "Freddy! You're awake!" Chica squealed, mayo dripping down her face. "Who's Freddy?" He said dizzily. Welp, now Freddy has amnesia. Toy Bonnie giggled. She knew what was to come.
A ghastly silence fell over the entire church. Everyone stood in the chapel, astonished and flummoxed at what had just happened. Pie filling slowly dripped down Mangle's cheek, merging with a stream of tears. "Freddy?" Chica whimpered. "Who the hell is Freddy..." He stammered. "Dude! You're awake!" Foxy exclaimed ecstatically and rushed over to his side. "Do I know you?" Freddy questioned. "Come on! Snap out of it!" Chica begged worriedly. "I don't know any of you, I'm getting out of here," Freddy muttered as he headed towards the door.
Now was my perfect chance to electrocute him. I crept over to the switch, and right as Freddy's hand made contact with the doorknob, I flipped the switch. Electricity ran through the wires and reached the doorknob. Freddy's hand came down on it, causing the knob to spark, electrocuting him. and burning part of the carpet "FREDDY!" Foxy screamed as he ran to him and slapped his hand away from the door. Again, Freddy fell unconscious and collapsed on the floor. Bonnie smirked at Chica's pathetic face and zoomed in on Toy Freddy snuck out the back door of the chapel. "What the hell is he doing?" Toy Bonnie exclaimed. "Whatever, just go with it," I grumbled, searching for the bomb detonator. Just as I suspected, Toy Freddy came back with the cake and the lemonade. Bonnie snickered.
"I GOT THE CAKE!" Toy Freddy shouted. "Well, what are we waiting for?" He asked. Everyone whispered something for a while and gathered around the cake. "Well, I suppose nothing could be worse than those pies," Chica's voice trailed off. Everyone nodded in agreement. "What are we waiting for?" Foxy said, taking a long sip of lemonade. "Alright, LET'S CUT THIS BABY!" Toy Freddy exclaimed excitedly, licking his lips. I smiled gleefully as Toy Freddy's knife got closer, and closer, and closer. With a smirk, I lifted up my finger and pressed down on the button. The C4 exploded with a deafening boom, splattering cake all over everyone. "GAAAAAAHHH! THAT'S ENOUGH!" Mangle screamed as she started to walk out. "But sweetie! We were gonna get married!" Foxy whined. "Yeah. And you know what I figured out today? I FUCKING HATE YOU! You were probably the one who screwed everything up! And where's Goldie? I bet you kidnapped him and the babies so that they couldn't come to our wedding!" She shouted furiously. "Well, I bet you were the one who put the C4 in the cake and screwed with my tuxedo!" Foxy blurted out. "But it doesn't matter anymore! We're done!" Mangle choked out and stormed off. A wave of remorse washed over Foxy, who sprinted over to Mangle. "I'm sorry!" He shouted as he ran, but Mangle stuck out her leg, sending Foxy flying into a wall. "Ow," Foxy groaned in pain. He slowly began to stand up, but the ipecac took effect, and he doubled over and hurled up a storm.
"AHAHAHA! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, BITCH!" "Bonnie shouted over the intercom!" "What the hell is that voice?!" Toy Freddy exclaimed. "I don't even know why you even bother at this point, like you can't even keep a girl for 2 months, Foxy!" Bonnie sneered. "HEY! SHUT THE FUCK U-" Foxy was cut off by the vomit spewing out of his mouth. "I bet you don't even stand a chance with Chica, and she's dumber than a pig!" Bonnie mocked ruthlessly. Chica's eyes welled up, and she ran out of the chapel, crying. 'HEY! YOU FAT BITCH! IF YOU DIDN'T EAT SO MUCH PIZZA THEN YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE A SHOT WITH SOMEONE!" Bonnie yelled. "And Freddy! YOU FAT FUCKING FAZBASTARD!" You're the worst of all of them, you can't even bake a proper cake, you idiot!" Bonnie screeched angrily into the microphone. "Ahaha. That guy- he just got ROASTED! You hear me? ROASTED!" Freddy laughed deliriously.
"And Toy Chica- You're a goddamn WHORE WHO DOES NOTHING BUT HAVE SEX AND SMOKE CRACK EVERY DAY!" At that, Toy Chica snapped awake. "Huh? Crack?! Who said that?! WHERE'S THE CRACK?!" Toy Chica screamed as she began to smash things apart, in search of her drugs. "Well, obviously Mangle's not here, but she DEFINITELY needs to get a life like RIGHT FUCKING NOW!" Bonnie exclaimed. "And, uh, Toy Freddy- you're, um, you're just plain fat," Bonnie stammered, Toy Freddy being too nice to actually insult. "Yeah, I get that a lot," Toy Freddy admitted. Right about then, Foxy collapsed on the floor. "Let's get back to the pizzeria," Toy Freddy muttered. I deactivated the shock contraption and everyone walked out of the doors
Sorry I haven't updated in so damn long, I was SUPER busy for the last, like 100 weeks of life.