Chapter 6

Part I: Smooth

November 5, 2014

Lukas finished off his cup of coffee and slid the empty mug towards the other three mugs he had used during the day. The direction of his sight laid on two people; Emil and his friend, Leon. Emil was going about his work as usual, helping Berwald clean up the rest of the tables. Leon was sitting at one of the tables, drinking a hot chocolate, just as he did every day when he came into the coffee shop.

"Hey Lukas, what are you glaring at?" Tino asked, tapping his shoulder. It was a rather ridiculous question, considering how obvious he made his displeasure. He didn't take his eyes off the two. Tino turned his attention to the mugs. "Damn, how much coffee have you been drinking? Are you okay?"

Lukas ignored the last part. "That guy has been coming in here for the last minutes we're open and making small talk with Emil."

Tino only laughed. "Oh no, Emil's made a friend. How disastrous." His volume faded when Lukas moved his glare directly at him.

"I was joking!" He yelped. "What's the problem with Leon anyway?"

"Apparently sneaks out of his home. Drank at Francis' party. Sounds like trouble to me."

"He's probably a kid who has strict parents or something and is looking to have fun." Tino put his elbows on the surface of the counter, slumping a little. "I know how that is, remember when I used to have to sneak over to hang out with you guys during high school because my parents were stuck up and thought you guys were bad for me?"

"And they were right, we are bad for you." Lukas retorted, smiling a bit.

"They think you guys turned me gay and fat."

"That's because we did."

"That's beside the point, I mean, he chose Emil to hang out with. If anything, your brother is a good kid. I think they'll stay out of trouble."

"Hm, maybe you're right." Lukas looked over at Tino. "I don't see Emil hang out with too many people. Maybe this is a good thing."

"Need anything else before we close up?" Emil spoke up towards Leon. Tino and Lukas went quiet, listening into their conversation.

"Yeah there's one thing." Lukas became uncomfortable with the smug smile now spread across Leon's face. "You."

Emil dropped the damp rag he was holding, his expression going from casual to shock. Tino managed to hold in a gasp. He turned to Lukas, expecting him to be jumping over the counter to strangle the poor guy. But instead, he remained calm.

"Lukas, uhh…" Tino was confused, but he didn't know what to ask. Aren't you angry?

Lukas turned toward him, completely understanding what he was questioning. "How could I be mad? That was real fucking smooth." He turned his attention back to his brother, who was still staring at Leon, confused. "I kinda like this kid."

Mathias came in from the back room. "Did I hear smooth? Because take a look at this." He pulled his pants leg up to his knee and pressed his foot up high onto the counter in between Tino and Lukas. "I shaved my legs this morning. Real fucking smooth, am I right?"

Lukas reached down and touched his leg while Tino took a few steps away from him.

He was right; his leg was real fucking smooth.

Part II: Too Tired

November 6, 2014

"Hey, hey! Lukas!" Lukas took his eyes off his book and to Mathias. What's he doing out of the back room?

"Don't you have coffee to make?" he asked.

"The coffee is made, you want some?"

"No, I don't." Lukas continued to look at him, confused.

"I thought of this amazing joke and I need to tell you it." Great, a joke. It's far too early for this. It's not that Lukas didn't care, but he didn't have any sleep the night before. But then again, Mathias tells awful jokes anyway.

"Go ahead."

"The bike can't stand on its own because it is two-tired." Mathias went quiet, holding in his laugh and waiting for Lukas to respond. Lukas didn't acknowledge the joke as far as to understand, but he wasn't going to admit it. Nor was he going to lie to Mathias, bad joke or not. "Do you get it, Lukas?" He simply turned back to his book in response.

"How about now?" Out of the corner of his eye, Lukas noticed Berwald had walked past them. "Hold on, hey Waldy! Let me tell you this joke!" Mathias left the counter to follow him, and Lukas felt satisfied that he managed to get away.

After the morning rush, when the clock hit noon, Lukas heard the backroom door open up. "Did you get it, Luk? Two tires? Get it?" Lukas slowly turned around and looked at him.

"You know what you should be getting?"

"To work?"

"Yes." Mathias slowly disappeared behind the door, still staring at Lukas in a joking manner.

"See you space cowboy." Lukas sighed for a long time. It's going to be a long day.

Before closing time, Lukas was shoving his book into his bag. He had forgotten about the whole joke situation when Mathias suddenly slid over to him. Not on his feet, but on his stomach. Lukas jumped back in surprise. "Mathias what the heck?"

"Do you get the joke?" He asked, ignoring Lukas' reaction. Lukas frowned largely at him and quickly put on his jacket. "I have to go." He ran out of the store quickly.

He avoided going home, since he lived with Mathias, and instead went to the dollar store to pick up something to eat. Then maybe he could get home, take a shower, and go to sleep. Mathias would probably forget about the whole thing the next day…

He felt someone behind him.

"Do you get it now, Lukas?" Lukas gasped. It was Mathias.

"Yeah, I did." He quickly opened the freezer next to him and grabbed frozen lasagna. "Just what we needed."

"Okay but-" Mathias started.

"We're running low on chips, can you get us some?" Mathias held up the bags of chips that he was holding. "I think we need some bottled water, too."

Mathias sighed like a child. "Okay honey, let me go get your things."

"Okay, thanks. And how about something for dessert, too?" Another loud sigh. Lukas quickly checked out and made a run for the apartment.

Meanwhile, Leon decided to tag along while Emil headed home. He couldn't just tell him no, and he thought since Lukas would be home, nothing bad would happen. Leon was smiley, of course, and even more flirty from before. Emil was unsure about how he really felt towards him; even more so after yesterday's events. He did enjoy Leon's company, and he was really pretty. There's much more that goes into a relationship though, and they had only known each other for a few days.

Emil was surprised that the apartment door was locked. Lukas always arrives there before him and leaves the door unlocked. He unlocked the door to find all the lights off and Lukas nowhere to be found. He started to panic. Lukas wouldn't be too happy to come home to him with someone over without permission.

"Want anything from the pantry?" He asked, opening it up. "Uhh… I guess we don't have any chips." He frowned sadly.

"That's fine, where's your room?" Leon was glancing around the apartment.

"Uhh… It's really messy. Sorry I didn't expect you to come over."

"That's fine, too." He jumped over the side of the couch and took a seat, crossing one leg over the other. "You have cable?"

"Yeah, and Netflix. Find something to watch. I'm going to… Go ahead and start dinner." Perfect, he thought, now Lukas would come home to a responsible little brother cooking and not looking suspicious with a total hot Chinese boy on the couch.

The house was devoid of anything but a couple of frozen pizzas. He tried to take as long as he could, but pressing a couple of buttons on the oven to make it start preheating only took a few seconds. He glanced in Leon's direction to find him looking over at him.

"Do you like The Office?" Leon asked.

"Sure." Emil smiled, trying to look casual.

"Okay, let's watch it then." Emil nodded, hiding his nervousness. So much for responsible little brother. He slowly tip-toed over to the couch, Leon waiting patiently for him. "Sit, sit."

Emil sat down, leaving a little distance between him and Leon. Leon didn't bother casually moving over, nor did he leave even an inch between them. Emil tensed up as Leon warmly smiled at him. He put a hand on his arm.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, totally." Leon turned around, picked up the remote and pressed play. The loading screen popped up and slowly began progressing. "Sorry, damn internet is slow."

"It's fine." Leon replied. Emil swore he could feel the heat of his breath. Was he getting closer? "So…"

"So…" Shit, he is getting closer. Their noses were about to touch, and somehow Leon managed to put an arm around him without Emil realizing it at first. He smiled nervously and leaned back away from him, but Leon only followed until he was basically on him.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Leon asked, smiling still.

"Yes, but Leon…" Emil finally let his nervousness show. "I'm sorry, Lukas wouldn't be too happy you came over without him knowing or being here, I swore he was going to be here and also you're really nice, fun and really, really attractive but you see, you're getting really close there and I don't know exactly what you want but I probably need to tell you I'm asexual. I really should have spoken up sooner but I'm just so sorry." He rambled, worryingly. Leon looked at him sadly, and quickly got off of him.

"I was afraid you were going to tell me you were straight."

"Oh…" That was understandable. Emil sat up and stretched his back.

"You're… Not into guys?" He asked. "I mean, it's fine. I probably shouldn't have come onto you so strongly and asked first. Wait, did you just say I'm attractive?"

"Really, really attractive." Emil smiled shyly. "I'm not, sexually that is. I just…"

"It's fine, Emil." Leon told him. "I totally respect that. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I like you, a lot. I need self-control, and I am so sorry." Emil laughed a little and scooted towards him.

"You're forgiven." He leaned over and gave Leon a tiny kiss on the cheek. Leon hand quickly moved up and held the spot that Emil had kissed.

"But…"

"I never said I didn't like you back." Leon went quiet, staring at the TV. Emil leaned over to look at him. "Are you… Doing okay?"

"Yeah, I uh," He took his hand off his cheek, his face flushed. "I'm sorry, can I give you one back?"

"Sure," Leon leaned over, eyes fluttering shut as Emil's did. He felt Leon's presence get closer to him.

The front door burst open. Emil didn't have time to react when he heard Lukas' voice. "Good you're here. Make this." Lukas ran past the couch and tossed a frozen lasagna onto his lap before running into the bathroom.

"Well, good thing I preheated the oven…" Emil sighed, laughing some. Leon left a kiss on his cheek while he was distracted. He timidly looked away afterwards. "For a boy who was coming onto me all confidently, you're pretty shy."

"I'm a good actor I guess." Leon covered his face with his hands. Emil hugged him around his shoulders, smiling.

"There, there."

Lukas took the shortest shower of his life. He basically got out as quickly as he got in. After poorly washing his hair, he wrapped his towel around his waist and stepped out.

"Hey Lukas!" With a loud scream, Lukas threw everything he could grab at Mathias, who was sitting near the sink. As he struggled to tear off the shower curtains, Mathias stood up. "Do you get the joke?"

"Do you get that bathrooms are private?" Mathias frowned and escorted himself out of the bathroom. Lukas knew he had to lock up his room when he went to bed.

Lukas fell asleep easily after looking his door and climbing into bed. Surprisingly, he didn't wake up through the lock being picked, the door opening, and Mathias Køhler climbing oven him.

"Psst, Lukas," Lukas opened his eyes looking around. He felt odd for some reason, and then he realized there were a pair of hands and feet settling beside him. He squinted to see Mathias' face looking down at him.

"How the fuck?" Lukas whispered.

"Lukas," He was smiling, my God he was smiling. "Do you get my joke now?"

Lukas was terrified. Mathias was really determined about this stupid joke. But he continued to be calm; he'll give in and leave him alone eventually.

"I'm too tired for this." Mathias stared at him.

And stared…

And stared.

It took two seconds for Lukas to echo what he said in his head.

Too Tired… Two tired… Bikes have two tires. They are two-tired. The bike couldn't stand because it was too tired… Or two-tired. It was funny, because bikes couldn't stand on their own anyway.

Lukas laughed. It was the most awful joke but it really got to him. Mathias followed him around all day for him to get that. Amazing.

Mathias stared down at his friend in pure joy. "You get it! You get it!" They laughed together. Mathias sat down next to him and Lukas hugged him tightly, laughing himself to tears.

After the laughs died down, they went quiet.

"Mathias," Lukas finally said.

"Yes?"

"Get out of my room and never tell me another joke again."

"Okay." Mathias got off the bed. "It was nice laughing with you, man."

Lukas paused. "Yeah, that was nice."

"I'll tell you another one tomorrow. Good night."

"Night." Mathias left the room, and Lukas decided he would actually listen to whatever ridiculous joke Mathias was going to have for him the next day.

Surprise! I told myself 'update every other week' and here I am, updating in just one. I seem to be writing a whole lot, I hope I'm not going through a random inspiration moment and this is actually something permanent. So, things coming up in this fic:

- Thanksgiving featuring Mathias, Leon, and Berwald's families (separate houses, thank GOD)

- Black Friday shopping featuring all the characters (except the two youngest Braginsky kids because bringing them shopping during Black Friday is irresponsible parenting)

- A whole lot more SuFin and DenNor coming up in the winter set chapters

- Fluffy HongIce in the mix

- I have many series pieces and chapters planned, and I need more humorous ideas. I'm open to suggestions. No please, I would love to hear what you guys want to see in this AU.

Notes on this chapter:

1. About Tino: More will come up later about his parents in his backstory chapter. He's not gay and fat, he's bisexual and chubby.

2. I planned this chapter long ago while thinking about Lukas being protective over Emil when Leon comes along but then Leon being a smooth little shit and Lukas being like "Oh well can't argue with that"

3. Mathias shaves his legs sometimes it makes him happy.

4. I actually got the idea for "Too Tired" months ago before I even came up with the idea to write this AU. I thought about how Mathias would tell an awful jokes and follow Lukas around all day asking if he got it, and waking him up at night hovering over him, Lukas finally getting it, laughing, and then kicking him out of his room.

5. Yeesss, I considered asexual!Iceland for my high school AU (in progress) but I really thought he would be better off placed in this one. I haven't decided his romantic preference. I might leave him at he doesn't know himself, but Leon sure is nice.

6. I don't own Netflix, the characters, Hetalia, The Office, or any other work presented in this chapter, nor any other chapter of this series. Thanks.