7/1/2259
Chief Medical Officer's Office
"How's he doing?" Admiral Pike asked.
McCoy looked grimly at viewscreen. When M'Ress had commed to tell him that he had a private message
from Admiral Pike, he'd known right away what it was about.
It was about what had been on everyone's mind since the bombshell drop yesterday.
*Flashback*
Sickbay
After being granted the use of the High Tide, Skinar quietly thanked the Captain and then informed him
that he would leave on the 2nd at 0900. He would spend the time until then in his quarters and requested
that, aside from the two people that he had chosen to attend him, he be undisturbed.
He then turned to McCoy. "I see no reason to take up any more of your time, Doctor. Do I have your
permission to leave now?"
McCoy quietly assented, although he informed the Tausian that he would be checking in on him regularly.
Skinar once again bowed slightly to the Captain before turning to go, leaving in his wake a medical bay
so quiet that one could hear a pin drop.
A pale faced Kirk then turned to McCoy. "I…I have get back to the bridge. I need to make a ship-wide
announcement and then I have to talk to Thelin and Tolliver… start making arrangements."
"Jim…" a concerned McCoy began.
Kirk was already heading for the door. "I'm still the Captain of this ship, Bones. And I have work to do.
We'll talk later."
"And we will talk!" McCoy called after him sternly.
And talk they did. Before Alpha Shift was over the doctor was on the bridge and as soon as the replacements
arrived he took the still visibly dazed Captain firmly by the arm. "My quarters. Now."
*End Flashback*
"He's not taking it well, at all," McCoy answered quietly. "And he wasn't even close to Skinar; I can count
on one hand the number of times they'd interacted before all this."
He told the Admiral about the conversation the two had had.
*Flashback*
McCoy's Quarters
McCoy looked sadly at his best friend who sat dejectedly on the sofa staring at the floor.
"I talked to Ambassador Spock," Kirk said quietly. "He said that Vulcans believe that a life should only
be mourned if it's wasted. Skinar's life wasn't wasted; he's had a long, full life doing what he loves,
among the stars that he loves."
He looked at McCoy. "And now he's dying. It's not a tragedy; he's not sick, he wasn't in an accident
and he wasn't cut down by a phaser blast. He's an old man who's reached the natural end of his life.
It's going to be a natural death and he's going to die the way he wants. A lot of people don't get that."
He paused for a long time. "But I'm still as upset as if he'd been cut down by a phaser blast."
McCoy gently put a hand on his shoulder. "That means you're a good Captain, Jim."
*End Flashback*
"You're right, he is a good Captain," Pike said quietly. "And that's part of the problem."
Upon McCoy's questioning look he continued. "Do you know how many crewmembers Jim's lost since
becoming Captain? Not one. During the Nero Engagement some crewmembers were killed, but I was
in command at the time. Those were my crewmembers, not his."
"Jim was in command of the Enterprise for only two months before the Incident. After Nero the Enterprise
spent nearly a month at Spacedock undergoing repairs and the time after that going on milk-run missions.
In other words, he didn't see a crewmember get more than a scratch or a cold, if even that."
Pike sighed. "Jim's been with the Saratoga for six months, in many ways this is his first real command."
His voice lowered. "And Skinar is the first crewmember that he's lost. Or will, in a couple of days."
He gazed thoughtfully at McCoy. "To lose someone under your command for the first time…I imagine
it's like a doctor losing a patient for the first time."
McCoy nodded. "Jim's doesn't deal well with loss." He gave a mirthless chuckle. "He doesn't deal well
with losing, period." His expression saddened. "He doesn't believe in no-win scenarios, but this time
there's no way to win. He never concedes, but this time he doesn't have a choice. A crewmember
is going to die and there's not a damn thing he can do about it."
He frowned thoughtfully. "Another part of it is loyalty. Jim is one of the most loyal people around and he's
completely dedicated to the people in his life. This crew helped stitch him back together after the Enterprise.
They were there for him. In return they've gotten themselves a Captain whose completely devoted to all
of them. And I do mean all. He's dedicated to every single person on this rust bucket from his closest friends,
down to the ones that he's only spoken to once or twice. And there is nothing that he wouldn't do for them."
He sighed. "The only thing that he can do for Skinar is honor his wishes and let him go. He is…but it's eating
at him that he's not able to do more. And maybe…maybe its eating at him that he didn't do more for him
while he was here."
Pike sadly shook his head. "So he'd dealing with the loss of someone under his command, frustration at not
being able to do anything about it, sorrow at losing someone that he cares about and guilt for not having done
more for them. Quite a lot to have on the plate."