The Red Side of a Blue Moon Chapter 6: She is the one named Sailor Moon, a Sailor Moon + Ranma Crossover fanfic

The Red Side of a Blue Moon

~Noy Telinú~

Warning: do not try this at home. The thing Akane does, not fanfics… do those… goodly.

Caution: obsessing over things too much can have dire consequences. I know, cuz I'm the Text.

Reviews: are the awesome. Compucles, prolly, oh yeah, BALLGOWN? Um… I doubt THAT… and Akane is… odd… to say the least… any more would be guessing. Richard Ryley, um… it was more about other manga and anime female leads who are mean. Hishin Trueflame, and that is… unknown, cuz I'm the Text! Not the author! TJG, possible, if she weren't so cocky. Libri Ignis, it's called the predictability lobe. hero in a cup, who knows, I'm the Text! Aceina, … /Aliens\ luger 7, yay! I like it too…

You have been warned….

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Chapter 5: She is the one, Sailor Moon!

Morning was peaceful in the house, and by peaceful…

"Damn it, Pops!" Ranma growled as she got out of the Tendo koi pond. "What was THAT for?"

"Boy, you have been not paying attention much lately. Just because we've come back to the city doesn't mean you're allowed to slack off!" Genma spewed from the window of the guest room.

"It's not my fault that my head-" Ranma was cut off by Genma jumping down at her.

"Less excuses, more training!" Genma demanded.

Ranma complied by attacking.

Inside the house, Michiru shook her head. "I have a very bad feeling about this…"

"About what, honorable older sister?" Ami asked as she set the table for breakfast.

"This Ranma… sh- he makes me uneasy…" Michiru sighed. "That body… in the hands of a boy…"

"Really?" Ami closed her eyes. "That is what gets to you? He has to deal with this problem possibly for the rest of his life and you're uneasy just because he could possibly do things with a female body that is his?"

"…" Michiru looked away. "Yes… No… That's not… That magic… Maybe I'm being paranoid, but the seas were even fiercer last night."

Ami stroked her chin. "Perhaps… Still… you've been looking at Ranma weirdly…"

Michiru balled her fists. "Alright, she's attractive. That's what bugs me. Haruka is still trying to get a threesome with Akane, so I was looking for a way to get her back… It unnerves me. Ranma as a girl is so… so… "

Ami looked over to see their father watching the Saotomes fight. "I understand. Actually… not really. Just be careful. Maybe you should hit Haruka after all…"

Michiru sighed. "Maybe. But that is Akane's way… Where is she, anyway?"

"Our little sister went to her collection. Luna said that 'Kane went to ask television, most likely looking for a way to keep Ranma here." Ami looked towards the dojo. "Should we get her?"

Michiru nodded. "I'll call her. Bring out breakfast, please."

Ami nodded and did just that.

Michiru entered the dojo and walked over to Akane's trophy case in the corner.

After looking around for a few moments, she pulled the arm of a figure atop one of the trophies, causing the arm to move downward.

"Akane, breakfast is ready," Michiru called, seemingly to no one.

She let go of the arm and it returned to its original position.

Then she walked out of the dojo, looking at the shed next to it and waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

Michiru crossed her arms in annoyance.

Suddenly the shed door opened abruptly to reveal Akane Tendo, who faceplanted onto the grass.

"Akane…" Michiru sighed. "You know not to use it on a school night. And we have guests, REMEMBER?!"

Akane got to her knees and rubbed her left eye. "But I *yawn* needed to… So… what's for breakfast?"

Michiru was about to answer when Akane fell down again asleep, a giant snot bubble appearing from her nose.

With a roll of her eyes, Michiru walked over to Akane.

*POP!* went the snot bubble as Michiru poked it with her finger.

"Ww-What?" Akane yawned. "It's not my fault…"

*SMACK* Michiru slapped Akane across the face.

"OWWW!" Akane yelped, rubbing her cheek. "THAT HURTS!"

"Get up," Michiru ordered.

"Fine, fine…" Akane mumbled and got to her feet. "Meanie."

Michiru responded by dragging Akane inside.

"Suck on THAT, old man!" Ranma shouted as she threw Genma into the koi pond. "Stupid curse…"

Ami looked up and saw Ranma fuming. "The bath is ready. Go take one."

Ranma nodded and left for the bath.

"Impressive, Saotome." Soun nodded as he sat at the table. "Most impressive. There should be no trouble getting them together."

Genma garbled some words in Panda, which only Soun was fluent in… somehow.

"Yes, I don't think she'll mind," Soun sighed. "Not at all…"

That's when Michiru came in, dragging Akane.

"That was completely irresponsible, little sister," Michiru scolded as she got Akane to the table.

"But it was necessary…" Akane yawned. "I have new… ideas… now… Potato…"

Michiru rolled her eyes as Akane fell asleep again, banging her head on the table.

"Hmm? Akane, are you alright?" Soun asked. "Did you get enough sleep?"

"ZzzZzz…" Akane snored. "Monsters…"

Genma raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, yes, THAT… As long as you disguise yourself well." Soun stroked his moustache.

Ami looked at Genma. "Need hot water?"

Genma shook his head.

Michiru shrugged. "Good, because I have bamboo for you, Mr. Saotome."

Genma whined.

"Now, now, Saotome, I'm sure it tastes delicious," Soun reassured his friend. "We can eat when your son comes back."

"Ooh! Food!" Ranma smiled as he walked in. "Thank YOU!"

As Ranma sat down, ready to eat, as Akane mumbled in her sleep.

"Not much of a morning person, I see…" Ranma muttered.

"She jogs in the morning," Ami covered.

"Uh huh…" Ranma raised his eyebrow. "Sure she does…"

That is when the smell of the food reached Akane's nose. Specifically, the opened poptart…

"YES, I'M A NATURAL BLUE!" Akane shouted as she woke up dramatically.

"…" Everyone stared at her.

"… Well, I am…" Akane mumbled. "Look, food!"

"I still don't like this," Ranma groaned as he walked with the Tendo sisters to school.

"Best to make the most of it." Ami shrugged.

Michiru nodded. "Indeed. There may even be something interesting there for you."

"Adventure!" Akane laughed. "But… there's a pro-… problem… Cold water will make this very awkward."

"Yeah, but I don't plan on getting splashed today." Ranma put his hands behind his head.

"Doesn't… matter…" Akane was dozing off again. "Busty redhead in three… two… one…"

*Splash* An old lady hit Ranma with a ladle of water, making he a she.

"…" Michiru was stunned.

Ami sighed. "Should have known…"

Akane nodded. "Told ya. Worth it…"

"So… yeah, I'm not going. See ya." Ranma turned around and started going back towards the Tendo home.

Akane, half asleep, smiled. "Chicken."

Ranma stopped in her tracks. "What?"

"You… you're afraid of people finding out about… thing… GIRL! Yeah… scardey cat…" Akane smiled sleepily.

Ranma was shivering in anger. "What… did… you… say?"

Akane was swaying. "You're scared. A frightened girl…"

"NUH UH!" Ranma yelled and turned around. "I'm NOT a girl!"

"Prove it." Akane smiled, eyes closed.

Fuming, Ranma started heading towards school. "You better find me hot water…"

"Easy," Ami chimed in. "I know where to get some."

*Thud* Akane fell to the ground, fast asleep.

Michiru sighed. "Get Ranma to class, I'll take care of Akane."

Ami nodded and walked ahead, Ranma following.

"We did it, we did it, we did it…" Akane sleep mumbled.

Michiru sighed. "Oh, little sister…."

"I am NOT going to be late, little sister!" Michiru gritted her teeth as she ran towards school, Akane on her back.

"We watched the anime and read the manga, we did it, we did it, we did it! Hurray!" Akane sleep-sang. "Batman has nothing on me, for I have my twin Ami!"

"Almost there…" Michiru muttered as she ran towards school.

"Yeah, whoo! Hurray! We did it… Yeah!" Akane laughed, still asleep.

"Almost… there…" Michiru sweated as she came into sight of the school.

"My favorite part was when that… thing… stuff… Yeah…" Akane snoozed.

Suddenly, boys, boys everywhere.

Michiru, in a good showing of athleticism, pulled Akane off her back while running and put her down right in front of the horde.

'On your own, Akane… Don't worry, I have faith in you,' Michiru thought as she rushed into the school.

"Hey, hey, hey, hold on there." Haruka, in the boys' school uniform, grabbed Michiru's arm as she ran by, stopping her. "What's the rush, beautiful?"

Michiru took a few deep breaths. "I am not going to be late…"

"You have five minutes…" Haruka smiled. "That enough?"

"Well…" Michiru frowned. "I'm frustrated that you are still trying to woo my sister."

As if on cue, a boy flew through the air, landing hard.

"She IS cute…" Haruka shrugged. "Besides, it's not serious…"

Another boy flew through the air violently.

"Then what is THIS?" Michiru pointed to the legion of boys attacking a sleeping Akane.

"Not my fault…" Haruka mumbled. "Why not just say that she's a lesbian?"

A boy screamed in pain.

"Like that would help matters." Michiru rolled her eyes. "How's this, you lay off hitting on my little sister, or I'll start doing the same thing you're doing to other girls."

Haruka's eye twitched. "Why this all of a sudden?"

"MY LEG!" a boy cried out.

"Because…" Michiru whispered into Haruka's ear. "She's engaged…"

Haruka's eyes widened. "TO WHO?"

A boy ate dirt as he slid across the ground.

"A transfer student. You'll know him once you see him," Michiru sighed. "Wonder if HE should know…"

Haruka bit her lip. "That might not be a wise idea…"

Another boy cried in pain.

"Perhaps…" Michiru thought it over. "Still, this is eating Akane up."

Haruka shrugged. "An all-girls' school? I'd do it, but I hate skirts… on me."

A boy sailed through the air, becoming a twinkle in the sky.

"I have to get to class. Make sure my sister gets in on time." Michiru walked away in a hurry.

"Right…" Haruka rubbed her forehead. "As if."

"Thanks for the water," Ranma mused as he walked the hallways of the school. "But seriously, tell that doctor guy to stop doing that. He's lucky I didn't attack him."

Ami shrugged. "I'll make a note. Well, here's your class. Good luck."

With that, Ami walked away, taking out a book.

"Weird…" Ranma shook his head and went inside the room.

There was no one there… except for a poor boy on the floor under a broken window.

Ranma walked over and saw that he was badly bruised, beaten, and barely awake.

"Help… me…" he whispered.

"Wow, man, what happened to you?" Ranma asked.

The boy's eyes got wide as he smiled dreamily. "My love… I saw my dear Akane... up close… too… up close…"

Ranma's eye twitched. "Uh huh… So, where is she?"

"Outside…" the boy whispered.

Ranma looked out the window into the courtyard to see Akane sleeping… and punting boys away as they got near her.

'Definitely weird, alright,' Ranma thought. 'Hey… why is that guy behind a tree? Coward. And that blond guy is talking to Michiru…'

Suddenly, the door opened.

"Sleepfighting? Seriously, Yuka, this is weirder than… Oh, hi there! People before us… Hehehe…" Sayuri sweatdropped.

Yuka rolled her eyes. "Hey there, new guy… Why is Gos on the floor?"

Gos, who was in pain answered in a whisper. "My love… did this… It… worth…"

Ranma clenched his fists. "You two look reasonable. What's going on here?"

Yuka took a look at the situation and deadpanned. "Akane Tendo."

Ranma was going to ask how that answered anything as people began pouring into the classroom.

"Alright, class, settle down. We have a new student here, just back from China…" The teacher stopped to look at Gos on the ground. "Somebody get Mr. Gosunkugi out of here."

Everyone shook their heads.

"Great." The teacher looked at his new roster. "Just great. You, Ranma… Saotome. Take this guy to the nurse's office."

Ranma blinked. "Where is that?"

The teacher sweatdropped. "Right… new here… Oh well, I suppose he's not too much of a distraction. Mr. Saotome, introduce yourself, please."

Ranma shrugged and was about to do so until…

"Made it!" Haruka gasped for breath as she got into the room, Akane in hands. "Here's Akane… Bye!"

With that, Haruka left as fast as she was able.

"…" The class sweatdropped as a whole as Akane lay there, snoring.

*Ring* went the bell.

"Of course…" the teacher sighed.

"Made it!" Haruka sighed in relief as she slid into her room just as the bell went off.

Michiru, who was seated, blinked in surprise.

"There you are…" the teacher snarled. "Cutting it close as always. And let me guess… your brother?"

Haruka nodded. "Exactly where you think."

"Thought so," the teacher sighed. "Well, let's get started, then…"

Haruka smiled and got to her seat.

Michiru whispered. "Where is Akane?"

"In her class." Haruka smiled. "Did it. You owe me."

Michiru frowned.

Akane Tendo slept soundly in school for a while.

The teachers at most rolled their eyes at seeing her sleeping.

Her two partners in crime, Yuka and Sayuri, expected as much and covered for her as best they could.

Her fiancé, Ranma, looked on, studying her…

All in all, things were quiet. And boring…

But then, lunch came…

"Akane… AKANE!" Yuka called from a few desks away.

"Maybe if you poke her…" Sayuri suggested.

"No way!" Yuka shook her head. "You saw what happened this morning…"

Ranma rolled his eyes. "I'll take care of this…"

Now, Ranma fought Akane, he saw what happened at the start of school, and, he was confident, very confident that she couldn't lay a finger on him.

Yuka, Sayuri, and everyone else backed away in a hurry.

"Hey Akane, wake up," Ranma said, poking her in the stomach.

*WHAMO* Akane hit Ranma in the face, sending him into the classroom wall so hard that he was imbedded into it.

"…" Ranma twitched. "Ow…"

Quite a few students winced at that.

"We could just let her be," a student commented.

Yuka shrugged. "That seems smart. Are you alright, Mr. Saotome?"

Ranma pulled himself out of the wall and shook the debris from his hair. "Had worse. That all you got, Akane?"

While the pigtailed boy tried to laugh it off, he was furious inside. 'How could she hit me!? I was ready and everything!'

Rolling up his sleeves, Ranma tried again.

"WAKE UP!" Ranma yelled into Akane's ear as he put her into a hold.

*CRASH* Akane responded by kicking him through the window.

The students looked out of the window to see him land on his feet.

"Pretty tough, if you ask me," Sayuri mumbled.

Other students agreed.

"Mine… I called it…" Akane sleep mumbled.

"Come on, Akane, wake up. We're missing lunch!" Yuka yelled.

"Crazy, violent girl…" Ranma mumbled as he got back into the classroom. "Sleep through anything…"

"Impressive," Sayuri admitted. "Most impressive…"

Yuka snapped her fingers. "I know, Belle-chan would know how to wake Akane!"

'Who?' Ranma thought as he tried not to get more irritated.

"What now?" Ami asked as she walked into the room right then.

Akane mumbled. "Mine… No… touchy…"

Ami sighed. "I have your lunch, 'Kane…"

With that, Ami opened up her twin's bento box.

"FOOD!" Akane's eyes shot open, giant smile on her face. "Man, I'm hungry. Hey, why is the window broken? Honestly, there's no maintenance at this school…"

Ranma facefaulted.

"No, I mean it! I'm sorry for hitting you!" Akane waved her arms up and down as she walked out of school with Ranma, Sayuri, and Yuka. "You dodged me yesterday, so…"

Ranma sighed. "Right, WHO hits people in their sleep?! How did you even do that?"

"Hell if I know!" Akane defended herself. "The best I can think of is a defense mechanism against boys. You know, since I fight them daily…"

"Possible," Sayuri muttered. "It would make sense…"

"This fight you do every morning…" Ranma's face took upon a look of disgust. "It's… so uncivilized…"

Akane failed to stop from giggling.

"What?" Ranma narrowed his eyes. "What is it now?"

Akane waved it off. "Nothing… nothing… But it's not like I can stop it… I mean, it's not too bad, and they're the only regular fights I can get…"

"Besides…" Yuka interjected herself into the conversation, "I'd doubt Kuno would stop it willingly. I mean, not even…"

She was cut off by Kuno appearing before them, furious. "What's this!? Who are YOU, boy who dares accompany Akane Tendo so fondly!?"

Yuka and Sayuri synchro-facepalmed.

Akane groaned.

Ranma narrowed his eyes. "Me? Who are YOU, telling people who they can be with!? Wait, I recognize you, you're the coward behind the tree this morning!"

"WHO DARES call Tatewaki Kuno, Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, a COWARD!?" Kuno thrust his bokken towards Ranma.

'Haven't heard THAT nickname before…' Akane thought. 'So… all guys really hate being called a coward. Thank you, TV!'

Ranma raised his hand. "Me. Really, attacking Akane every day to go on a date? Along with hundreds of boys all at once? That's low, man…"

"SILENCE! THOU KNOWETH NOT WHAT THOU IS SAYING!" Kuno roared.

Ranma cracked his knuckles. "Says you. Come on, give me your best shot…."

Yuka grabbed Sayuri and Akane, pulling them inside and away from the obvious fight.

"Wow, Akane…" Yuka shook her head. "Got a boy fighting for you. Why do you get all the good ones?"

Sayuri frowned. "Yeah, why always you? You just met him!"

"Well, actually, he's my fiancé-" Akane quickly covered her mouth. "… Crack."

"WHAT!?" Sayuri and Yuka chorused.

"DON'T TELL ANYONE!" Akane covered her friends' mouths. "While he's excellent at martial arts, and a prince…"

Sayuri and Yuka's eyes widened.

"… Shoot…" Akane closed her eyes in frustration. "I really need to keep it under wraps so I don't cause him to shy away from me. It's our parents' idea, and while we both don't like it, I've accepted it. Fighting this would just be wasted energy. But I need him comfortable, and that means not having the school know, got it?"

Sayuri and Yuka nodded.

Akane sighed in relief.

Meanwhile, Ranma and Kuno were locked in a stare-off.

Well, Kuno laughing wasn't exactly staring…

"Poor, poor peasant. What is thy name, so that I, the Blue Tunder, may hire someone to etch it on your tombstone?" Kuno laughed.

Ranma smirked. "Ranma Saotome, heir of the Anything Goes school of martial arts. Didn't you get beaten by Akane this morning?"

Kuno narrowed his eyes. "Preposterous! To even think that is ludicrous! The Blue Thunder never loses…"

Ranma's smirk widened. "Huh… Then I wonder why you still fight her. Shouldn't you be on a date, then?"

"Well, I let myself…" Kuno shook his head. "BLAST you, you pathetic, pigtailed boy, you asked for my best, and you… WILL… HAVE IT!"

Kuno's wooden bokken came right at Ranma's chest, intending to finish him off like a vampire.

But, Ranma wasn't there anymore. He was off to the side of Kuno, casually putting his bookbag over his shoulder.

"Wow… that was slow." Ranma faked a yawn. "I asked for your best shot…"

Kuno growled and struck again and again, creating air pressure that was rapidly destroying the outer wall of the school courtyard.

Suddenly, at least from Kuno's point of view, Ranma vanished.

"What? What the…?" Kuno looked left and right for Ranma. "HA! Running away?"

"Look up, you moron." Ranma rolled his eyes from atop Kuno's head.

"How DARE YOU!?" Kuno swung at Ranma, only for him to jump off and land far away.

"Say, what do you like about Akane anyway?" Ranma asked. "She seems like a lot to handle…"

Said girl and her two best friends were watching through the open door to the school.

"Grrrr…" Akane took a deep breath. 'He's just trying to get Kuno angry… angrier… Relax, don't get mad…'

Yuka, on the other hand, simply shrugged. "Well… he's right, you know…"

Sayuri nodded.

"Honestly!" Akane exasperated.

Kuno scowled. "Insulting the honor of Akane Tendo? And you dare call yourself a man!"

"What did you say, Kuno?" Ranma's body started shaking with anger.

"You… are no man!" Kuno huffed.

Eyes narrowed, Ranma moved extremely fast up to Kuno's face and uppercut him in the jaw.

Yuka, Sayuri, and Akane were shocked silent at that.

So was Kuno, but more due to being unconscious.

"Wow…" Akane got out. 'I didn't even see him move…'

"Don't say that again," Ranma warned as he walked off.

Luna cautiously watched the panda that was Genma from under the table.

Said panda rearranged the pieces of the shogi game he was playing with his friend when Soun turned around due to Genma pointing that way.

'That panda is very untrustworthy…' Luna narrowed her eyes. 'I can't let him know about the Senshi. The same goes for Ranma, no matter what Akane says…'

"Huh? How did… I thought I was winning…" Soun mused. "Alright, you won, old friend. I'll buy the sake…"

With that Genma left the home happily, followed by Soun.

'Where can we meet now? Sure, there hasn't been anything happening in a while, but I have a hunch that things will pick up very soon. We need to be ready,' Luna worried. 'With these new houseguests, I don't know where we can meet in secret…'

That's when she saw Akane and Ranma walk into the house.

"I know you hate it, but I'm serious. You'll just waste time and be miserable if you try to cure it," Akane pointed out. "You got this curse by being shoved into the Spring of Drowned Girl right? Well, you need to find a drowned man or boy spring or something. And what will happen then? IS there even a Spring of Drowned Man?"

"That would be giving up…" Ranma grumbled and crossed his arms. "At least I didn't get wet at school…"

Luna raised an eyebrow.

"I'm surprised about that, really." Akane scratched her chin. "Perhaps it needs to be a secret for some reason. Speaking of… Hi, Luna!"

Ranma stopped and looked around the room. "Who?"

Luna shut her eyes in frustration from under the table.

Akane bent down and smiled. "Hi, Luna. Come on out!"

Ranma's anxiety started growing. "That's not a…"

Luna came out reluctantly. "Nya…"

*ZOOM* Ranma suddenly disappeared.

"…" Akane turned towards Luna. "Did you do anything to him?"

Luna shrugged, confused as well.

"He's not… But that would be…" Akane covered her mouth in realization. 'Must… not… laugh…'

Luna raised an eyebrow.

"Ranma! *snicker* The cat is gone!" Akane turned towards Luna. "Jump him."

Luna, suspicious but confused and feeling trustworthy for some reason, nodded.

"What does a cat have to do with- AHH!" Ranma fell to the floor with a thud as Luna jumped him.

Shivering, Ranma tried to say something, but couldn't as he stared at Luna in fear.

"Yeah, this is gonna be a problem," Akane mused. "Hey, Luna, can you do anything?"

Luna couldn't help but facepalm.

Ranma just freaked out more.

"Perhaps if you shock him, Mooncat like?" Akane wondered aloud.

Ranma was quaking in fear.

'I don't HAVE anything I can do! I don't remember anyone fearing me… One guy hated me for some reason though. Maybe…' Luna thought her options over.

"I know! Luna, do a headbutt!" Akane shouted.

Before Luna could lose control and yell at Akane, something happened… Something… bad…

Something bad happened right underneath her.

Ranma growled.

"Hey. Hey, wake up." Haruka kicked Kuno lightly in the head.

Michiru sighed. "He'll be fine…"

"It's not like I care," Haruka mumbled. "Still…"

The blonde looked around and saw that they were alone in the courtyard… just the three of them.

"Get up now, Taki, or I swear I'll drag you home by the back of my car," Haruka threatened.

"Haruka…" Michiru sighed.

Kuno mumbled and got up. "Why must the Blue Thunder's evil sister be such an evil?"

Haruka groaned. "Shut up, please just shut up."

"AS IF I WOULD!" Kuno leapt to his feet. "I despise being related to you as you are to me, deranged sister, but the Blue Thunder shall not be silenced!"

Haruka facepalmed. "I am NOT deranged, you're just mad that Michiru loves me and not you!"

"HA!" Kuno laughed mockingly. "As likely is that as America driving on the right side of the road!"

"…" Haruka pinched her nose.

Michiru took a deep breath. "Tatewaki Kuno, lay off my sister, please. It's hurting her. As you hurt me four years ago..."

"INCONCEIVABLE!" Kuno proclaimed. "To even think that I, The Blue Thunder of Furinkan High would hurt a fair maiden is beyond preposterous!"

"Seriously, lay off." Haruka smirked. "Or you might turn another Tendo lesbian."

Michiru looked away.

Kuno leveled his bokken at Haruka. "It is YOUR fault, twin sister of mine! Your witchcraft has turned the fair Michiru against me; don't you turn the fierce tigress against me!"

"I am NOT a witch!" Haruka complained.

Michiru rubbed her temples.

"Nyrall…" Ranma was on all fours, hissing at Luna.

"Hey Luna, I think this is bad…" Akane laughed nervously. "Got anything in that backflip space of yours? Preferably something useful in this situation that won't dust him? So, something from like season 2, not 5…"

"WHAT!?" Luna screamed in pure shock and confusion.

Ranma's eyes narrowed. "Nya…"

Luna gulped as the cat-acting Ranma stared right at her like she was an enemy. "Akane…"

"Moon time, got it." Akane nodded. {Moon prism POWAR!}

Ranma covered his eyes due to the intensity of the bright light.

"…" Akane sweatdropped. "But wait… how do I fight him? Anything magical will just not work or turn him into powdered sugar… BE USEFUL, LUNA!"

Ranma jumped at Luna then, who backflipped out of fear. "TAKE IT!"

Ranma pounced on Luna just as a pink stick with a crescent moon on top dropped from wherever she had it, pulsing three times as it bounced on the floor.

"…" Akane picked it up. "Looks like a girls' toy. Jeez, talk about going overboard with the girliness…"

"MOON!" Luna called out as Ranma batted her around like a cat playing with a toy.

"Oh, right, sorry…" Akane took the Moon Stick and pointed it at Ranma. "Um… {Girly… girl… gambit?} I think…"

Crickets chirped as nothing happened.

"MOON!" Luna cried out, pleading. "It is… it is… IT IS… CURSE YOU, SWISS CHEESE MEMORY!"

"It looks like it will break any moment…" Akane tapped it against the wall. "Wait, I got it!"{MOOOOOOOON!}

Suddenly, sparkles, sparkles everywhere.

They got into Ranma's eyes and he fell back into the koi pond, Luna in his… now her mouth.

"PTTT TAK ACKK!" Ranma let go of Luna and rubbed her eyes. "What… was THAT? I don't remember… YOU!"

Luna looked up, body aching, to see a steaming Ranma.

"This is all YOUR fault! YOUR ENTIRE FAULT!" Ranma seethed. "Why I'm wet, the memory thing… You evil… Mau-ian…"

Luna's eyes widened at that.

Akane changed back. "Hey, Ranma, you like my cat, Luna?"

Ranma looked left and right, panic on his face. "Wh-oo-o?"

Akane sweatdropped. "Um… Cat… there…"

Ranma looked back down at Luna. "You mean the Mau creature?"

Akane shrugged. "Sure, whatever."

"You OWN this monstrosity!?" Ranma asked, shocked.

"Well… it's more of a mentor type of thing…" Akane mused. "Magic cat, though… from the MOON!"

Ranma shivered. "Freaking demons…"

Akane didn't pay it any mind. "Go on, Luna. Say hi."

"I'm doomed…" Was all Luna said before she fell over, unconscious.

As the neighbors played their "Tendo home got wrecked" song, Soun and Genma stood outside it, looking at how the yard was ruined.

All Soun could do is cry.

Genma patted him on the head sympathetically. As sympathetically as a panda could manage, anyway.

"Let me guess… Akane?" Michiru asked as she walked up behind them.

Genma shrugged.

Soun wept.

Author's notes: I was told that there WAS going to be a thing where Luna cured Ranma, or failed, or something, but was scrapped due to it being insanely bad fanon. So stop that. Yeah. The Text said so!