The Red Side of a Blue Moon Chapter 11: Dun dun dun dun!, a Sailor Moon + Ranma Crossover fanfic

The Red Side of a Blue Moon

~Noy Telinú~

Warning: what you are about to read is insanely dangerous yet awesome. Do not do this cool thing.

Seriously: It's hella dangerous and not up to code whatsoever.

St. Patricks' Day: was yesterday. Enjoy yourselves?

Update?: yes. yes it is. been almost two years now, but here ya go.

Reviews: lija, Thanks! Well, it IS a mystery... Not telling you... ^-^hehehehe... I'm glad. maryjane5000, good guesses, but alas... i have no idea. I doubt it's this simple. Guest k. hero in a cup, worse, or better? O_o Aceina, I wish I knew... The Keeper of Worlds, oh fine, here! Grymloq, you know, I have never seen short hair Shampoo fanart...

You have been warned…

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Chapter 10: Dun dun dun dun!

"You search that way, I'll search this way." Yuka pointed. "Anything alien or weird looking, just scream."

Sayuri said yes in Japanese without moving her lips somehow because anime logic.

Yuka acknowledged her acknowledgment and searched for Akane.

"Akane!" Sayuri yelled, looking behind a tree.

"Aha!" Yuka grinned as she looked under the house, but frowned when no one was there.

"I have feminine… issues, so don't even think about it!" Sayuri blushed, warning people who weren't there.

Yuka snapped her fingers. "Of course!"

She ran to the bathroom window and after more climbing than she had done in a while, she poked her head into the window. "Got ya!"

Only to see a naked Ranma in the furo.

Ranma blinked and turned to the window when he heard Yuka. "May I help you?"

Yuka blushed. "It's not what it looks like! DON'T KILL ME, AKANEEE!"

That last part was dragged out since Yuka lost her grip and fell down to the ground, out of Ranma's sight.

*thump*

Sayuri heard the scream and bolted to Yuka's side in a flash.

"STAY AWAY FROM HER, YOU-" Sayuri cut herself off as she saw no danger whatsoever. "Yuka?"

"How do dicks get big?" Yuka mumbled covering her face.

The second-story hallway window opened up to reveal Ami.

"What are you two doing?" she nearly groaned.

"Akane's been kidnapped by aliens!" Sayuri was super cereal.

Ami sighed.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

Suddenly the sky darkened, a thick fog formed and the temperature dropped as Soun made his appearance in all his demon head glory.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Yuka and Sayuri held each other, screaming as loud as they could.

Ami rolled her eyes. "Akane did not get kidnapped…"

Ranma cut her off, jumping, towel around his waist, out of the bathroom window. "WHERE IS SHE?!"

Sayuri beamed. 'I knew he would make a great Batman…'

Ami's head fell into her hands.

Tatewaki Kuno was steaming. Like a kettle.

*SLAM*

He stood up, nearly breaking the table.

"That does it!" He pointed his bokken to the heavens. "Those two have no respect for anyone but themselves! This scandalous act, I can bear it no longer! A year is plenty!"

"Please, Master Kuno, it is not even dinner time!" Sasuke begged.

Kuno growled. "Then their yuri physics have warped spacetime! I, Tatewaki Kuno, Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, shall not let this go unpunished! Have at thee!"

"Hey, SHUT UP DOWN THERE! You're ruining the mood!" Haruka yelled.

Her brother scoffed. "The nerve! Such disrespect for one's own brother! Our ancestors would be appalled!"

"If you need to fap just do it already!" Haruka grunted.

Kuno shook his head. "And using words that lack meaning, like the code of a spy…"

Haruka groaned as if she were a Peanuts character.

"So you are wrong…" Sayuri smirked as she, Yuka, Ami, Ranma, Soun, and Genma all sat inside around the table.

Yuka pouted, crossing her arms, "Shut up…"

"Well now, since that's out of the way, I think it was your turn, Saotome." Soun turned to his game.

"We need to get home anyway, sorry for the misunderstanding." Sayuri stood and dragged Yuka away.

Ranma stood up as well, heading towards the bathroom, for he was still only in a towel.

Ami sighed in relief. 'I hate to lie to them but the males can't know about Akane's secret TV watching place…'

"Oh, hi, guys!" Akane greeted her friends, stepping out of the shed.

'PHALLUS INTO HOLE!' Ami screamed internally.

The smart twin bolted for the shed.

Sayuri was surprised to say the least. "Oh. Akane, back from shopping already? Was it for tools?"

"Eh?" Akane blinked.

"Please tell me you're not going to do something incredibly stupid," Yuka groaned.

"But I…" Akane was cut off by her twin's hand over her mouth.

Ami whispered while shouting at the same time. "I lied, alright? She was watching TV in there but not. Father can't find out and I don't trust Ranma's dad at all."

Akane removed Ami's hand. "Oh, I need my prince to see this…"

"Not that he has done anything yet but this is way too risky," Ami warned.

"Aw, but it's no fun alone…" Akane whined.

Ami sweatdropped. "You just spent an hour in there."

Akane grumbled and glanced at her friends. "Sorry, maybe… Uh… Guys?"

They both had their jaws on the ground.

Ami finally noticed that as well. "Ummm… Are you two alright?"

Yuka forced her jaw back up. "Ami lied…"

Sayuri cried, jaw stuck.

Akane shrugged. "Oh, she's done that before. So what?"

Yuka trembled. "I. No. It can't be…"

She grabbed the door to the shed and threw it open.

But there was nothing there. Nothing out of the ordinary at least.

Yuka fell to her knees and wept.

Ranma shrugged and climbed back into the furo. 'Might as well.'

He smiled as the warm water revitalized him.

A headache was felt for a moment but disappeared quickly.

'Must be imagining it.' Ranma shook his head and sank deeper into the tub.

He was so relaxed he closed his eyes and…

*GLUG*

His eyes shot open and he came up, coughing up water.

"Ugh…" Ranma shuddered, grasping the side of the furo. "That was close. I… Why is it so dark?"

*knock knock knockity knock*

"Hey, Ranma, it's dinner time," Akane relayed the information.

The pigtailed boy shook his head and came out of the furo. "Alright. Coming."

He dried off and got dressed, making his way to the table.

'Must be stressed out to be in there that long.' Ranma pushed that thought aside and concentrated on eating.

"Thanks for the food," everyone said as one and they dug in.

"I'm gonna do it," Akane simply stated.

"No, please don't," Ami warned. "It's too risky."

"I'm gonna do it," Akane repeated herself.

"No. No. No. No." Luna shook her head almost violently.

"You don't even know what it is!" Akane growled.

"And your point is?" Luna deadpanned.

Akane turned away. "My own moon cat thinks so little of me."

Luna sighed.

"I'm gonna do it." Akane clenched her first dramatically.

She threw open Ranma's door and stood in the doorway dramatically.

Genma had already gone to sleep and Ranma was just getting ready to do the same.

"Hey, wanna see something amazing?" Akane beamed.

'I have a bad feeling about this.' Luna gulped.

Four teenaged girls, a cat, and Ranma stood outside a shed in the Tendo yard at night.

"Now, before we get started… Ranma?" Akane turned to the only guy.

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"Are you evil?" Akane stared into his eyes.

"What? Of course not!" Ranma frowned.

Akane shrugged. "Alright, let's do this."

"Wait, you're not checking this evil Mauian thing?" Ranma pointed to Luna who was glaring at him.

Sayuri picked the mooncat up and glared at Ranma as well. "She is a cat and her name is Luna."

"I have no reason to. Although… Hey, Ranma. What were you in your past life?" Akane asked.

"How the hell am I supposed to know?!" Ranma shouted.

"Shh!" Ami frowned. "If we are going to do this be quiet."

"Then how do you know what Luna is?" Akane questioned.

"It's that thing's fault; it's doing something evil. I know it." Ranma glared back at Luna.

"Well, life is all about taking risks, getting messy, and making mistakes, so…" Akane shrugged and opened the door to the shed.

Inside was all the standard shed stuff: tools of all kinds, sandbags, and a lawn mower.

"Come in." Akane tried to not be giddy.

The other teens, minus Ami, glanced at each other, shrugged, and entered the shed. Ami sighed and followed the others inside.

Smiling, Akane closed the door behind them and turned on the light. A single light bulb hung from the ceiling.

"So… There's a trap door. Right? And a lever?" Yuka crossed her fingers.

Akane shook her head. "Nope."

Yuka slumped.

"Good guess though. Now tell me, other people, what is something people don't do?" Akane smirked.

The group paused and thought it over. Except for Ami, who buried her face in her hands.

"Homework?" Sayuri suggested.

"Well, no…" Akane frowned.

"Go to Mars!" Yuka tried.

Akane opened her mouth and closed it and then opened it again. "Yes, but no…"

Ranma studied all the objects in the shed. "Mow their lawn by hand?"

Akane sighed. "No. No. It's read the manual!"

The one sometimes called Sailor Moon grabbed the lawn mower manual off a shelf and opened it.

"Ooh…" The others that weren't Ami opened their mouths wide, eyes becoming black slits.

"More specifically, the terms and conditions of the manual." Akane smiled and opened it up. "'Lawn Mower International is not responsible for any unauthorized use of this lawn mower including but not limited to killing people, losing body parts, and/or cutting anything except grass.'"

She closed the manual and put it back on the shelf.

Suddenly the wall started to move, sliding over to the side, to reveal an opening.

"Dagnabbit, nobody reads the manual." Akane did her best impression of Doug Dimmadome.

Ranma raised an eyebrow. 'Wha-…?'

"Now come with me and you'll see a world of pure AWESOMENESS!" Akane sang and entered the opening.

The others followed, and once Ami came through the wall closed again.

It looked empty. Like a small safe room. Until you looked to the side. There, in all its impossibility, was an elevator.

"Going down?" Akane smirked trying to be as deep in voice as possible.

She pushed the button and the elevator opened.

Yuka dashed inside immediately and started counting the number of basements. "HOLY FREAKING CRACK, THERE'S 27!"

Akane followed her in, nodding smugly. "Uh huh. I have all my stuff organized by English letters. So who wants to watch a movie? Actually, we don't have time for that. But get in anyway."

Ranma boarded carefully, eyes widened.

Sayuri jumped in and held Yuka, scared.

Luna jumped into Ami's arms and whispered to her. "You built this?"

Ami blushed and got on. "Come on, let's get this over with."

"MWAHAHAHA!" Akane laughed and pushed the 'A' button.

*ding*

The doors shut and the elevator started moving downward.

The Star Wars "Imperial March" started playing.

Ami rolled by her eyes.

*ding*

The doors opened.

"First floor, everything beginning with A." Akane smiled, in full show-off mode

The room was tall and long. A table that could seat thirteen stretched most of the length of the space. Lining the walls were bookshelves covered in books, movies, comics, and even games, both video and otherwise.

In the very back against the wall was a giant screen several meters wide. Beneath it were various media players and all three Atari consoles.

"Be my guest…" Akane bowed.

"See you later." Michiru waved to her girlfriend as she was dropped off at home.

"Sorry, I hope to keep my brother better behaved next time," Haruka apologized.

Michiru smiled. "Not your fault."

Haruka shrugged and left…

*WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP*

In her helicopter.

Her girlfriend stood below, clothes fluttering in the wind.

"That boy ain't right."

Michiru's eyes widened and she turned to see her father standing next to her, shaking his head in disappointment.

"Father?" Michiru blinked.

"I'm just glad you're home, dear." Soun had a great tear run down his cheek.

Michiru's eyes went blank, a sweat drop forming on her forehead. "You're hungry, aren't you?"

Soon fell to the ground, begging. "Please make dinner! You are our only hope!"

"'Our' as in…?" Michiru mused. 'Ami must not be around…'

"Saotome and myself. And you. Of course." Soun clarified.

"What about the others?" Michiru frowned.

Soun shrugged. "Apparently, your sisters and the boy left for a friend's house."

"You don't know?" Michiru sighed.

"Oh, no… Don't tell me…" Soun's eyes widened.

Michiru fidgeted uneasily.

"Magical girl things. Like hopes and dreams! Like joining the schools! Oh, happy day!" Soun ran inside and told his friend the good news.

Michiru gulped. 'No. That's absurd. I didn't feel anything unusual… Unless… Unless…'

*SLAP*

Michiru hit herself. 'Get it together. They can handle themselves. And if they couldn't I doubt long periods of ecstasy would keep me from knowing it… They may have just gone out. Somewhere. All together. For some reason.'

The eldest Tendo daughter shook her head and went inside to make dinner.

"How can you afford all of this?" Yuka asked, dumbfounded.

"Well, you know…" Akane scratched the back of her head. "Ami is a super genius and Michiru is world famous… And construction can be cheaper with some 'aggressive negotiations'…"

Ami rolled her eyes at that last line.

"So, why did it take so long for you to show us?" Sayuri asked.

"Yeah, why?" Akane glared at her twin.

Ami took a deep breath. "You two remember the treehouse?"

Yuka blinked. "Oh, yeah… Where did that go anyway?"

Akane gulped.

Sayuri glanced at her now nervous friend. "Akane…"

"It was an accident!" Akane replied hastily.

Yuka frowned. "Of course… So, was it a fire or…?"

"You gotta understand, when you have to get three of everything…" Akane tried to explain. "Well… They were… You know… The collector's editions weigh a lot…"

"She overloaded it with far too much stuff and it collapsed under its own weight," Ami explained, getting to the point.

"Ohhhhh…" Yuka and Sayuri nodded, hands to their chins in a fake-serious way.

'Why am I not surprised?' Luna rolled her eyes.

"I…" Akane slumped. "Stupid old tree…"

"So what's that got to do with this place?" Yuka asked.

Ami frowned. "Our older sister just so happened to be right under the treehouse when that happened…"

Yuka and Sayuri's eyes grew three sizes that second.

"Did… Did she die?" Sayuri was in tears.

*Smack* Yuka applied her palm to her friend's head.

"Of course not!" Yuka groaned in frustration.

Akane grew red in embarrassment. "It didn't crush my sister… Mostly…"

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Mostly?"

Ami sighed. "After Michiru got hit by falling debris, Dad banned us from building anything like that again. But… Well… We did anyway. This place. So it had to be kept a secret."

"And Akane can't keep secrets." Yuka guessed correctly.

"Well, I did this time!" Akane grumbled, muttering something about people not trusting her.

"Yeah, somehow." Yuka raised an eyebrow. "How did you?"

Akane frowned. "I can keep a secret! I'm a high schooler now. Besides, Ami said that you guys could come over eventually, so I was just waiting to show you… That's all. But, you know, things got in the way. Things like magic-"

Ami crossed her arms in warning. "'Kane…"

Akane gulped. "Uh… Yeah. Anyway. Enjoy this, you guys… I'll be right back…"

Everyone but the twins exited and the elevator took off once again.

"That girl ain't right." Ranma stared at the insane amount of stuff in the room. "So… Think there's anything in here about martial arts?"

Ami pushed the button for floor S and continued to glare at her twin.

Akane sighed. "So…"

"Ranma is here." Ami frowned.

Akane blinked. "And?"

Ami's eye twitched. "Don't you remember what else this place is used for?"

"Uh… " Akane's eyes widened. "Oh… That… Which is why Ranma is here!"

Ami gave a flat "What."

"Uh huh. I figured that the Youma would try to teleport and obviously wouldn't spill if she's contained, which means in the best case we kill her… BUT! What if it was someone else, like Ranma?" Akane grinned triumphantly.

"You do know that is risky, right?" Ami massaged her temples. "While you certainly trust him and he hasn't shown any troubling behavior so far… Luna has a feeling that he is evil."

"Oh, just because some strange cat from the moon says he's evil you believe her? Over me?" Akane sniffled.

"No… It's just… There is something there. And if he came into contact with one of them… if my theory is correct, he could be brainwashed. If Luna recognizes him despite her memory issues, surely the enemy would be able to as well…" Ami bit her lip, worriedly.

"Ohhh…" Akane nodded. "Yeah, I've seen this before."

Ami blinked. "Really?"

Her twin looked away, hands behind her back. "Eleven times, as a matter of fact."

The elevator doors opened and Akane walked to the far end of the room.

Ami raised an eyebrow. "You mean on TV… Right?"

"Uh huh…" Akane picked up the Sega Saturn and lifted a panel concealed beneath it. "In fact, I'm expecting it."

Ami walked over to Akane. "That's… strange…"

"Well, in these types of shows, the boyfriend keeps getting mind controlled and has to be rescued by the heroine. So… If that does happen, we can track them to their secret base and move the plot along." Akane pressed a button hidden under the panel. "Meega nala kweesta!"

The wall in front of them opened up to reveal an even more secret room, which the twins entered.

Inside was a giant room, like a box, all designed to contain the object in the center: the youma, trapped in a vat of tartar sauce.

"We are not in an anime…" Ami rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, but if you treat this situation like a show, you can win at it… or something. I dunno." Akane shrugged.

Ami took a deep breath and pointed at the Youma. "Exhibit A on why you shouldn't bring your friends here."

"Oh, are you saying that…" Akane held back her tongue, realizing what she was about to jinx. "Yeah, I get it… But this was recent-"

"Alright, what about that time you had a robot army?" Ami cut her off.

"You didn't HAVE to build it for me…" Akane tried to shift the blame.

"Or the hologram incident? Hmm?" Ami glared at her.

Akane laughed nervously. "The Huns weren't too bad once you got to know them…"

"The dog?" Ami put her hands on her hips.

"That was an accident!" Akane threw her arms into the air. "Why does everyone keep bringing that up?"

Ami sighed. "If it was just you and your books and stuff it wouldn't be a problem. But I work down here, our eldest sister sometimes practices down here, and these… incidents seem to happen constantly."

"Well… Michiru has been playing up top more often lately… But yeah. I understand. Things are different now though! I'm a High School Student." Akane's face grew determined like the cliche heroine usually does.

Ami massaged her face. "Regardless, we still have this giant issue here…"

"Oh, don't panic. I have it covered!" Akane grabbed a stack of paper wards that were sitting in a box next to the door.

Ami blinked. "Where did you get those?"

Akane waved her arms. "Dulululu…"

The scene went wavy and a flashback started.

The day before Ranma came…

Akane in her school uniform was walking down the street with her schoolbag, clipboard in hand, face losing hope, and her pen's cap was chewed. "Why can't any temple know of Youma?"

On the clipboard was a list of thirteen temples. The names of twelve aren't important and were already crossed out, leaving one that wasn't.

"Well, unlucky thirteen and all…" Akane found the remaining temple and walked up its many stairs.

At the temple, Rei was stereotypically sweeping the grounds, dressed in her priestess garb and looking cute.

Very cute.

"Kyaaaa~!" Akane squealed.

That got Rei's attention.

"Welcome to-" Rei stopped her greeting as the girl in front of her was staring. "Can I help you?"

Akane giggled. "Mayybeee… No, wait, bad me! Um, I have a Youma problem, see. They keep appearing and it sucks and so I was hoping you had something to keep them away…"

"Youma?" Rei raised an eyebrow. "Where?"

"Oh, you know… Here and there, out and around, round and about, hither and thither, back and forth, to and fro, up and down-" Akane's droning on was cut off.

"Alright! I get it!" Rei lost her cool. "They have been a problem… I think I have something. Follow me."

Akane beamed and followed Rei inside the temple.

There, The priestess made a ward with calligraphy.

Akane stared at the piece of paper. "A piece of paper. That is a piece of paper."

Rei nodded.

"Is the piece of paper going to help?" Akane managed to ask with a straight face.

Rei frowned. "I suppose I can't demonstrate it… But this ward does work."

"I don't know, can you prove to me you can make wards by making something else?" Akane requested with a shrug.

"Oh, like what?" Rei asked.

"Well… can you produce a ward that would, say, stop me from leaving this temple?" Akane suggested.

"I do not know of a way to keep humans away. It doesn't work. Believe me, I've tried," Rei deadpanned.

"Booo…" Akane complained. "Then how do I know you're a real miko and not just a phony?"

"I'm not!" Rei took that personally. "This kind of magic doesn't work on people!"

"Well, what about something else?" Akane suggested. "'Cause you seem to be making excuses…"

Rei gritted her teeth. "Wait here."

Akane smirked as the priestess stormed out.

After a while she came back with a white cat.

"You know that cats are magical, right?" Rei grinned.

"Well, duh, of course." Akane flipped her hair. "Gosh!"

Rei's eye twitched. "Yes… And with this ward, I can stop this cat from leaving this room!"

Rei slapped the ward on top of the arch leading out of the temple.

Akane stared at the white cat and then at Rei.

The cat didn't even move in the direction of the exit.

Rei sweatdropped. "Um… Go. Artemis, go on."

The cat just lay down, curling up into a ball.

"…" Akane blinked.

Rei fumed. "Artemis… I swear, if you continue to make a fool out of me…"

The cat didn't budge.

Akane bent down. "Aw… Little kitty is just tired… How about if I hold you, huh?"

"Go ahead…" Rei tried to calm herself. "He's docile."

Akane picked up the cat and snuggled with it. "Hee hee… So cute."

Rei sighed.

"I'm taking him home with me!" Akane suddenly yelled and ran towards the exit.

Before Rei could react, Akane dashed out -

*WHOOOM*

but had her feet go out from under her as the cat stayed in the room magically -

*SMACK*

and fell right on her back.

Rei stood over Akane, smirking.

"Wow…" Akane managed to say, dazed. "So he can't can't leave no matter what?"

Rei nodded.

"Not even if he teleported?" Akane asked.

"Cats can't teleport…" Rei sweatdropped.

"Yeah, but Youma can!" Akane's eyes went completly greater than and less than with her face being more chibi like.

"So, you want to trap Youma in a room?" Rei asked, confused.

"Well, yeah, 'cause if they get into my home they'll get stuck until someone can kill them." Akane nodded, face becoming serious.

"Actually, that doesn't sound like a bad idea…" Rei mused.

"So, can I have them?" Akane asked.

"Wards are 500 yen each-" Rei was cut off.

"I'll take eight! No, twenty." Akane grinned.

Rei blinked. "Really?"

"Actually, can you make a whole box of them?" Akane asked.

"A box?!" Rei's jaw dropped. "But that much, that could take so long and there is so much that I have to do and the amount of ink alone would-"

Akane pulled out a bunch of yen. "Shut up and take my money!"

"Yeah, and that's how I got it." Akane nodded, looking proud of her flashback.

"The cat's name is Artemis?" Ami frowned.

"Yes?" Akane shrugged, "I guess?"

"But it was a boy cat…" Ami pondered.

"Yeah, yeah, the name wasn't important. I got these though! So, we can interrogate the Youma now!" Akane stood proudly, hands on hips. "Well… I already did and that… Didn't go well at all, so… But these things work!"

"Curiouser and curiouser…" Ami muttered to herself.

Akane grinned. "Anyway, I'll get Ranma now."

Ami took a deep breath. "I have a very bad feeling about this…"

"Do not fret, for I have a plan!" Akane pumped her fist. "Well, Ranma is really the one who should have the plan… And, honestly, with that personality I don't think the role suits so him well. He seems kinda anti-social, you know? And we are the rich ones…"

Ami rolled her eyes.

Rei, Minako, and Artemis sat in the shrine, frowning.

"Nothing… I still can't find anything on that girl…" Rei hung her head. "The fire readings aren't a help at all…"

Minako sighed. "And I can't find anyone at school, or at the mall, or anywhere, really, that comes close to matching her description. Blue hair? Really?!"

"That means she MUST be working for the Dark Kingdom…" Artemis narrowed his eyes.

Rei sighed. "Just because we haven't found her and that you broke your paw doesn't-"

The moon cat cut her off. "SHE broke it! That creature slammed my paw into the ground!"

The miko didn't have an answer to that.

"I'm with him on this one." Minako shrugged. "She didn't give a name, was very vague, had an impossible hair color and she paid with cash."

"But why would a Youma have that much cash? I even still have it." Rei pulled out the bills in a plastic bag. "They're real or the best-looking fakes I've ever seen…"

"Who carries around 10,000 notes like it's nothing?!" Minako's jaw dropped. "Must be magic. Somehow…"

"Maybe she's part gaijin?" Rei pondered. "She didn't seem quite right, as if she was… Americanized or something similar…"

"How big was her nose?" Minako asked.

Rei looked at the ceiling in thought. "Normal. Everything seemed normal…"

Artemis slumped. "No, she can't be a normal girl… There was something… off about her. She's hiding something. What did the fire readings show, exactly?"

"Nothing useful." Rei crossed her arms. "Just some costumed, blue figure frozen in some weird liquid; bats flying; a swimming pool full of gold coins; a seashore; a frozen pond; an iron; and some paperclips and a subway coupon."

Minako and Artemis blinked.

Rei sighed. "I have nothing to go on…"

Minako's eyes lit up. "Well, I have an idea…."

"What." Ranma said flatly.

Akane groaned. "I said come see my prized Youma."

Ranma blinked. "I have no idea what that is."

Akane sweatdropped.

"You're crazy!" Yuka gripped her head. "Why do you even have a Youma?!"

"Because I got it from… a guy…" Akane lied. "Who knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy's cousin…"

"ENOUGH!" Sayuri screamed.

Yuka sighed. "Let me guess… Sailor Moon wanted it 'for reasons'?"

"…" Akane nodded.

Ramma shrugged. "No thanks. Do you have One Piece? I'm trying to catch up…"

"Good luck with that," Yuka mumbled.

"I have None Piece…" Akane grinned. "But yeah… It's under 'O.'"

"Of course…" Ranma nodded. "May I?"

Akane sighed. "Sure… But I want to show you the Youma…"

Ranma raised an eyebrow as Akane sniffled and looked saddened, glancing at the floor.

He sighed and entered the elevator, leaving the girls behind.

"So…" Yuka rubbed her neck. "Why do you have a Youma and why do you want Ranma to see it?"

"Well, I captured it to uncover its secrets but the Youma wouldn't answer me and tried to kill itself instead," Akane sighed. "Good thing it can't escape. So I was hoping that a third party would be able to get the Youma to talk."

"But why Ranma and not… You know…" Sayuri played with her hair. "Akane?"

"Nah. Too risky." Akane shook her head. "A very small chance of recognition isn't worth it."

"Hey, how about me?" Yuka frowned. "I can do it."

"Well, yeah, but the other reason is because Luna was saying that Ranma could be evil or something and and this way we can kill two bird Pokémon with one rock attack." Akane smiled. "If Ranma isn't evil this will prove it, but if he is he will try to free the Youma and we catch him in the act. Or the Youma would recognize him, maybe, which would lead to clues and stuff. Possibly. I mean, if he is evil it would be stupid to do something here right now…"

Yuka and Sayuri glanced at each other, both concerned.

Meanwhile, Ranma was reading One Piece on the O floor, trying not to think about his fiancee at all.

'Oh, that has to hurt…' Ranma winced as he read.

He quickly got through that volume and placed it on the table alongside twelve more.

Ranma sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Seems awfully big for just a few people…"

The pigtailed martial artist frowned as his mind wandered.

"Why do I have a really bad feeling about this?" Ranma moaned, glancing at the door.

"Oh, you're back." Ami put down the book she was reading. "He's… not doing it, is he?"

Akane moaned and plopped onto a chair.

*smack*

And let gravity facedesk her.

"Right," Ami sighed.

The two sat in quiet understanding for a moment. Then two. Then another four.

After finishing the book, Ami stood up. "Alright, I'll talk to him."

Akane sat up, her face full of glee. "Yes! I knew you were AMAZING!"

Ami rolled her eyes.

"He's reading One Piece. I'll get everything ready!" Akane jumped out of her chair, giggling.

"But I haven't…" Ami cut herself off and with a sigh, walked over to the elevator.

Luna yawned and stretched awake, making all sorts of noise.

"Oh, Luna, you're here." Sayuri covered her mouth.

"Holy crack, I forgot too!" Yuka's eyes widened. "Were you asleep this whole time?"

Luna looked around the room, seeing an absence of a certain male. "I was just so tired of waiting and… Where did he go?!"

The fake cat jumped up, panic screaming in her eyes.

"Ranma went to go read some other stuff." Yuka shrugged. "Nothing bad… Why, you think he's messing around with your soldiers?"

Sayuri gasped. "Oh, my… You mean like sex stuff?"

Luna blushed all over, which is impressive for a cat. "NO! I don't think that!"

"But they are engaged… Maybe that's the real reason Akane wanted him down here… " Yuka grinned mischievously.

"We have to stop him!" Luna jumped off the table and pressed the button for the elevator.

Sayuri gasped. "But it's so romantic…"

"Must not be her ship," Yuka guessed.

"NO! He's evil! I know it!" Luna kept smashing the elevator button.

Yuka rolled her eyes. "Straight guys aren't evil by default, Luna. This isn't Tumblr. Besides, he's like half lesbian."

Luna banged her head against the door. "ARGGGGG!"

"Damn… This thing never ends, does it?" Ranma whistled in awe as he grabbed yet another volume off the shelf.

*DING* went the elevator.

Ami sighed and entered the room, slowly making her way towards Ranma.

"What does she want?" Ranma asked before Ami even reached him. "Truthfully?"

Ami took a deep breath. "She wants you to interrogate someone."

Ranma blinked and turned towards Ami. "What, someone stole her lunch money or something?"

Ami laughed, staring at the ceiling. "No, no… Just as a way to prove to Luna that you are not evil."

The pigtailed lad scoffed. "It's the evil one…"

"Right…" Ami sighed. "Well, this might clear that up too. So, can you do it?"

Ranma frowned. "If it will clear my name…"

*DING* The elevator opened once again to reveal Sayuri, Yuka, and Luna.

"Seriously, a muzzle…" Yuka shook her head. "Hey, you two. Going anywhere?"

Ranma glared at Luna, who glared right back.

Ami slumped. "I can never catch a break, can I?"

"You can't trust them, you know," Ranma snarled. "They're great at manipulating others, causing whole planets to fall…"

Sayuri sniffled. "Why can't you two just play nice?"

Ranma got into the elevator. "Nothing I will do will change this… thing's… mind. It's set on destroying all of us."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." Yuka rolled her eyes. "Coming, Belle-chan?"

Ami got into the elevator. "Please don't kill each other…"

And with that they made it to floor S without any further delay…

"That should do it…" Akane muttered to herself.

*DING* The elevator opened and the group poured out, Ranma and Luna moving to opposite sides of the room.

"And once again the day is saved, thanks to the supergenius AMI!" Akane giggled gleefully. "Alright, Ranma, what do you think? Fake rescue or bad cop?"

Ranma blinked. "Huh?"

"Ughh… I need the info out of the Youma, so how are you going to get it? Arggh!" Akane whined.

"The hell's a Youma?" Ranma asked.

"Magic dust monster. Really annoying. Need to know where base is. So, can you do it?" Akane crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

"No problem." Ranma cracked his knuckles, a wicked grin only Luna expected appearing on his face.

"Excellent…" Akane tapped her fingers together evilly. "The rest of you stay here."

'I have a very bad feeling about this…' Luna shivered in fear.

"Oh yeah, two things…" Akane showed Ranma to the room with the Youma. "Don't kill it, and that lever unfreezes it in increments. Really don't want it to escape."

"Got it." Ranma nodded. "Will the lights turn on? I can't see where this dust thing is…"

"Uh huh. Once the door closes." Akane left the hidden room and into the main area. "Good luck!"

With a loud clang that seemed to echo, the room was sealed.

"Well, I hope you're happy," Luna said, pouting. "You've doomed us all…"

"We'll see about that." Akane smiled and turned on the TV, revealing a live feed of Ranma in the hidden room.

Author's notes: well… that finally happened. Whatcha think? Impressive? Worth the wait? If not, tell Noy. Apologies will be made for you. Until then, I am the Text!

Authour's notes: EXTRA Special thanks to Tuatara this time. Got me motivated enough to do something and edited this despite being so tired. You mean a lot to me. -Noy