Disclaimer: Why the hell would I be writing fan fiction if I owned Naruto?

Notice: This chapter uploaded funnily. I think I fixed it, but if any of the paragraphs or sentences arestucktogetherlikethis, that's why. And again, Sasuke doesn't look too good--we're still in his dark period, so be warned if that might offend you.

EDIT 07/26: It was Stephen King who said that if you get mad at your editor/critics, you can bet they're right. After I posted in my last a/n that this story was the sequel to another story I'd written, I read some comments on a NaruSaku fanboard that can only be described as vitriolic. While this story seems to be positively received there, the story I said preceded this one was seen very negatively, as everything from "scary" to "a waste of time".

My first response was to be hurt, but I wouldn't be any kind of writer if I wasn't always looking to improve myself. I sat down and thought about just why the response was so violently negative. What I came up with was that this story and that one are VERY different, and so naturally they're going to attract different kinds of readers. I deliberately wrote them to have very different styles to try and broaden myself as an author, so why the hell did I try to connect the two of them? If I'm writing them to be different, I should let them be different.

So! As of now, Moving On is in no way connected to anything else I've written. It's not in the past or future of anything else, and stands alone. I'm proud of the things I've written, and don't regret writing them, but it was silly of me to try and connect them. Besides, this way I get to re-write Naruto and Sakura falling in love. Maybe something fluffy this time around...

Thanks for all the comments and advice. No author can see every time s/he screws up, so sometimes we need someone to call us on it.

Now, onto the story.

Moving On

Chapter Four

By Michiru's Mirror

In life, there were some things you just didn't want to know.

Take sex. Generally speaking, people wanted fidelity in mind as well as body. You never wanted to think that your lover was having heavy dreams about your next-door neighbor (even though you were), because there was a part of you that believed they were your possession, damn it, with no right to libidinous feelings outside of you. Naruto had no problem with dreams that involved Ino writhing on his bed calling him "master" while Tenten was bound against his wall with Sakura doing nasty things to her, but waking up to hear Sakura next to him mumble something that may or may not have been Oh, Genma-san threw off his whole week.

The problem was that your partner wasn't a doll that belonged to you body and soul any more than you belonged to them, and thus you could bet your hitai-ate that their eyes were following the hottie walking down the street as surely as yours were. No person wanted to be faithful to their partner. What everyone really wanted, deep within their id, was to love the person you loved and fuck every other hot body that turned you on. A person refrained because you knew it would hurt your partner, and because you wanted that partner to extend the same courtesy to you. What two loved ones built together was something that grew over years and lasted a lifetime. A one night stand or a month-long fling would end, and however satisfying they might be, they weren't worth ruining a life-long possibility at happiness.

Naruto knew that he had admirers, and their number grew with every passing year. He was attracted to some of them in return, and if he thought Sakura wouldn't mind his laying them, he'd do it in a second. But in truth it wouldn't just hurt Sakura but break something inside of her, and more, it would ruin what she and Naruto had built together. Naruto was unwilling to injure the most important person in his life, and he was completely unwilling to give up the relationship that gave him the most happiness he'd ever had for an orgasm.

Chances were Sakura thought the same way; that is, she had suitors that she wanted but rejected because Naruto was more important to her than meaningless one night stands or temporary throwaway affairs. A small part of Naruto understood that this was the truth, that Sakura had fantasies in which he wasn't included.

That truth hurt his heart. He would be happier not knowing it, and so he never asked Sakura for any details. He didn't want to know Sakura's Genma fantasies, he didn't want to know what handsome new male interns were working with her in the Hospital, and he didn't want to know what she and Ino were giggling about when they sat together in the Hospital cafeteria ogling others in the room. In his fantasies, Sakura always looked at him adoringly and told him that she never thought of another man. As far as he was concerned that was the truth, and even though a part of him knew better, he was happily in denial.

And he had no doubt that Sakura was exactly the same. When he saw a blonde walk by that was about twelve times as hot as Sakura could ever hope to be he stared like any red blooded male. That didn't change the answer to Sakura's inevitable question.

Sakura: You're not looking at her, are you?

Naruto: Looking at whom? I only see you.

What would happen, Naruto wondered, if he asked Sakura one day why she had mumbled Genma's name that morning almost three years ago now? He was sure her answer would be just like his ("Genma? Who's Genma, darling?")...but what if it wasn't? What if she looked him in the eye and said, "Oh, I was dreaming about Genma. His penis is much larger then yours, you know, and he's much more sexually experienced. I was just wondering about the things he could do to satisfy me that you could never manage."

Yeah. Replace Sakura with Hinata and sex with politics, and that was about how Naruto felt after his visit to the Hyuuga mansion.

He had to be honest with himself. He had gone to Hinata and asked her to tell him about leadership because he'd been hoping she giggle and say, "Cruelty? What do you mean, cruelty? Only bad leaders need to do anything but follow their own nindo to succeed!"

Instead she had told him exactly the opposite. She might as well have picked up her desk and smashed it over his head for all the pain it caused him.

But one thing Uzumaki Naruto was not was a coward. If all his worst fears had just been confirmed, well, he'd just have to make the best of it.

He couldn't keep his id from mumbling little complaints here and there, though. Why did leaders have to be so formal? No more baa-chan or Sasuke-bibirikun or Sakura-chan. The thought of calling Sakura Haruno-san was kind of funny, but imagining the smirk on Sasuke's face when Naruto called him Uchiha-sama almost made him physically ill.

Well no point in worrying about that now, not when Inari's life was on the line. Naruto had to give up hope of charging to the rescue as he was accustomed to; if he did that he'd be abandoning all hope of ever becoming Hokage. He wasn't sure if that was a bad thing at this point, but as long as some small part of him still wanted the job he couldn't ruin it for himself.

He'd just have to be…subtle.

No matter how completely it went against his nature.

On the same day that Kiba was discharged from Konoha Hospital and sent to Nami no Kuni to assassinate a troublesome young man named Inari, Uchiha Momoko went to visit Sakura in her office.

Sakura officially got off duty at five in the afternoon. Unfortunately the last time she'd taken advantage of her official schedule was when Naruto had come in asking her to go to dinner with him.

Though Sakura didn't usually do patient rounds since being chosen as the head of Konoha Hospital she was constantly being called from her office for emergencies: one man would come in with a kunai lodged a hairsbreadth away from his heart, followed by a woman with six compound fractures in her left arm, followed by a man with a finger cut off. Each of these emergencies came with several pages of paperwork, which Sakura would be doing when inevitably called to help yet another patient that the younger hospital medics couldn't handle.

Why were the good medics always put out on field duty, damn it? Stupid question. They were put there because that's where the worst injuries happened. But Sakura was up to her ears in paperwork by now and sometimes even staying until midnight wasn't enough to finish everything up (particularly since patients just kept coming in).

Sakura knew it was time to take on an apprentice of her own. She didn't have the time to train one but at this point she couldn't afford not to. She needed help. Shizune and Tsunade, God bless them as angels forever, did everything they could. They tried to help and came by as their schedules permitted but their abilities were limited. Tsunade was simply old, and all of her dwindling energy was going into being Hokage and training an increasingly recalcitrant Naruto. Shizune, meanwhile, was out in the field more and more often these days. At fifty years of age she had become one of Konoha's ranking jounin; she was constantly out on diplomatic and goodwill missions where she had to impress other countries with her power, wisdom, and patience.

Without their help, too many of the new graduating medics were lacking. There was too much knowledge they didn't have, too much training they just weren't given because their teachers were handicapped in the same way.

Still, Sakura had seen three or four with real potential. She had a meeting scheduled with Tsunade and Shizune in three days. If she could convince Shizune to take one of them into the field with her to train on the go, and took another herself in a few months then maybe...

There was a knock at Sakura's office door.

She looked up in surprise; office hours were over. If there was an emergency, all ninja knew to go straight to the emergency room. She hoped it wasn't another panicking young medic trying to get out onto the hospital floor. "Yes?"

The door opened a crack and Momoko shyly stuck her head inside. From the shadow of the doorway Sakura could barely make out her features.

"Can I come in, Haruno-sensei?"

No, damn it! Sakura had stacks of paperwork to do and she had to meet Sasuke in just a few minutes for more tests.

"Sure, Momoko-chan, but I hope you don't mind if I do a little paperwork while we talk."

Momoko shook her head vigorously as she stepped inside. "No, Sensei, of course not!" She turned to shut the door.

It was a good thing she did, because that gave Sakura the second she needed to hide the shock on her face. Momoko was a mess.

She had grown fat, and her skin had a parched, yellowish look. Sakura knew fat people who practically glowed with health and happiness like the Akimichi family, but Momoko appeared terribly unhealthy. Her once-lustrous hair had become greasy and stringy, and dark bags hung beneath her eyes. As she walked towards Sakura's desk she wrung her hands constantly and kept her eyes trained on the floor. A formerly boisterous walk had been replaced by tiny mincing steps.

It had only been two years since a cheerful, bubbly Momoko had taken her wedding vows. What the hell happened to turn that girl into this?

Momoko sat down, and Sakura regained her composure. She put on her Doctor Smile and said, "So what can I do for you?"

Momoko was biting her lip so hard that it was turning red, still wringing her hands obsessively. "It's...well...it's about these tests you're doing for Sasuke-san."

She paused, so Sakura nodded encouragingly for her to continue.

"Well i-it's just..." Momoko threw a fearful look over her shoulder, as though expecting the boogeyman to pop through the door.

Sakura nodded again.

"I-I think I'm sick."

Sakura smiled. "All right then, can you tell me your symptoms?"

Momoko blushed slightly. "I'm just...shaking all the time...and I'm sleeping a lot. And my body, it's a-all achy..." Another fearful glance at the door.

Sakura kept herself from sighing. "Momoko-chan, I can run some tests, but I think I might know the problem."

"Oh? Sasuke-san is right, you are a miracle worker." Momoko smiled wanly, only to jump when there was a small noise outside the door.

Sakura was touched that Sasuke had such faith in her abilities, but she had to keep on track. "Momoko-chan, am I right that Sasuke-kun doesn't know you're here?"

Momoko's eyes went desperately wide, and she wrung her hands so hard Sakura could hear the flesh scrape. "It's not...I mean...Sasuke-san and I agreed that I shouldn't leave the house without his permission and I listen, I really do—" Momoko had started into a full-blown panicked babble. She was almost hyperventilating. "I-It's just...he does it because he loves me, you know, it's dangerous out there and he doesn't want me to get hurt..."

He does it because he's a control freak and you know it or you wouldn't have snuck out like this, Sakura thought.

"It's okay," she said gently. "I just won't tell him, that's all. But let me ask you this...how often do you socialize?"

"Oh I don't need to socialize," Momoko babbled before Sakura could even finish her sentence. "Sasuke-san is all I need...besides, he gets the wrong idea if I talk with people...he loves me so much he gets jealous really easily so we agreed it was easier for me not to go out unless he was with me so men wouldn't hit on me." Momoko met Sakura's gaze with such an earnest look in her eyes that Sakura was struck with a painful feeling of pity. "He does love me," she said. It was obviously vital to her that Sakura understand this.

And Sasuke-kun doesn't talk to you either, does he, thought Sakura grimly. You don't speak to a living soul for weeks at a time, and you haven't had someone so much as hold your hand or give you a hug for over a year. You're locked in solitary confinement in that house with nothing to do but eat until you burst.

You poor, pathetic creature—do you even know that what you're really asking me for is a way out?

Sakura was reminded of Hinata, who had once been known as pathetic while she was forced to endure her father's bullying. A person bound by rules and trapped under the thumb of someone more powerful felt small and weak, to the point where they didn't know how to escape. Eventually, they stopped believing escape was possible.

It was only with the support of Neji, Kurenai, and Naruto that Hinata had been able to even begin to break out of the chains she and others had put on her own soul. As long as Momoko was being bound to and by Sasuke she would suffer the same way.

But Sakura knew a divorce wasn't in the cards because of the shame it would bring to the Hyuuga. Momoko would very likely be disowned by the elders for destroying their important diplomatic link to the soon-to-be-reborn Uchiha clan. Sasuke had told her to cut ties with her friends and job, and she had done it because she was deluded enough to believe that pleasing him would buy her his love. If she cut her ties with him and her family as well she'd have no one, and no money to survive with.

Ah...but there was a way for her to end the union honorably, wasn't there? If Sasuke's impotence became public, Momoko could legally annul the marriage. The Hyuuga clan would have no reason to sell their daughter to Sasuke because there would be no alliance to look forward to in return.

But she had promised Sasuke-kun that she wouldn't tell! However foully he might be acting here, the truth was that he was her friend, and Momoko really wasn't.

Then again, looking at Momoko's hollow eyes and wringing hands and fat gut, Sakura wasn't sure if she could bring herself to care.

"Listen Momoko-chan," Sakura said. "Sasuke-kun will be here soon so for now maybe you'd better go home, okay?"

A look of real terror crossed Momoko's face, and she leapt up from her chair, trembling.

"It's all right, you've got about ten minutes," said Sakura gently. "Now, I'm going to...uh...research your symptoms and I'll get back to you in the next week, okay?"

Momoko bowed deeply and almost ran out the door.

Sakura didn't move for the next ten minutes. She sat back in her chair and stared at the empty doorway, depressed and furious and confused. Sasuke had been under the thumb of a bully too: his father. How could he turn around and treat Momoko just like Fugaku had treated him?

But that was the way it worked, wasn't it. Uchiha Fugaku had pushed his wife into stepping softly around the house and goaded his son into working himself nearly to his breaking point, and now Sasuke did the same. His father had been a Great Man, not a pathetic, bullying shell of a human. His clan had been a Great Clan, not a group of snobs who treated their children like prized dogs with pedigrees.

Hinata had been lucky enough to get out from under her father's thumb, and strong enough to try and change the things that were making her miserable so that others wouldn't have to suffer. She had seen Naruto and then Neji refusing to give into suffering and been inspired.

But Sasuke just wasn't strong enough. He saw strong people like Naruto and sneered at their efforts because they were contrary to the Great Uchiha Way. He refused to consider any idea that might challenge the ones that had been bashed into his head, and had to control every aspect of his life.

If this was how he treated his wife, what was he going to do to his children...?

When Sasuke walked through the door, it was to see Sakura behind her desk zoned out so completely that she almost didn't notice him come in.

She saw him and jerked back to reality only to stare at him like she'd never seen him before. "What?" he asked, irritated.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun," she said, and there was pity in her voice. "You can make all the excuses you want, but in the end everything you do is because you're miserable, and you can't be satisfied until everyone is as miserable as you."

Sasuke blinked, too confused to be offended. "What nonsense are you babbling now?"

"Nothing," Sakura sighed. "Nothing you'd understand, anyway." She stood and motioned Sasuke to come closer. "Come on. I don't have long today."

A week later, Tsunade was in her office marveling at the day's mail.

Each hidden village had its own language, but that wasn't usually a problem because of the common language that let different countries communicate. There were times that dialect differences got in the way, but for the most part the common language was enough.

Occasionally Tsunade heard of a person who didn't have a very firm grasp on the common language, but she had never heard of it happening in such a high official.

The letter read:

Dear Busty Leaf Shadow:

I am pleased to propose a joining of the taijutsu feets of justice against the naughty evils of bad, bad Otogakure. I invite you to come and lay an egg on the altar of friendship at beautiful Iwagakure.

Should you accept this invitation, toodle the horn melodiously.

With great sincerity of feeling,

Ganseki Tsuyoshi

Tsuchikage

"Shizune, come take a look at this," Tsunade called.Shizune opened the door in her usual careful ladylike way and took the message from her mistress. She raised an eyebrow, but her polite nature kept her from laughing (too much). "Semantics aside, will you go?"

"I am the Busty Leaf Shadow. If this could be a promising alliance for my people, I have to."

"Sure, but it's not a good idea to go into their territory unprotected. Why not send a return note suggesting a meeting in neutral territory? Sunagakure is allied to both of us, how about there?"

"Good enough. Send it."

Shizune bowed and exited...only to return only moments later holding another scroll.

Tsunade quickly hid the sake jug she'd been keeping in her bottom drawer under the desk. "What is it now?"

"We have a message from Inuzuka Kiba," said Shizune.

Tsunade searched through her slightly fuzzy memory. "Is he the one I'm having sex with?"

Shizune paused to digest that insane statement before realizing what had caused it. A determined glint entered her eye right before she marched over to Tsunade's desk and grabbed the sake jug out from underneath it.

There was a brief tussle as Tsunade tried to get it back. Shizune won through quicker reflexes and quickly danced away towards the door, leaving her mistress cursing under her breath. It wasn't as easy as it used to be for her to do things like stand up and wrestle.

"No, Shishou, that's Inuzuka Kaoru. This is the man who's currently trying to kill someone in Nami no Kuni."

"Oh. Right." Tsunade shook her head slightly to clear it. "Isn't he taking a bit long?"

"That might be what this is about." Shizune opened the scroll and went back to Tsunade's desk to show her the message—after ensconcing the sake safely away in her own desk drawers.

Godaime-sama:

Unable to locate target. Awaiting further orders.

Inuzuka Kiba

Shizune looked appalled. "'Unable to locate target'? Kiba's one of the best trackers we have! No country kid could elude one of the members of Team Eight by hiding under his sink or something."

Tsunade refrained from pointing out that at age thirty, Inari was hardly a kid. That might lead to uncomfortable commentary on Shizune's own age, which would set her off terribly. Kind and patient in almost all situations, Shizune had grown touchier and touchier about her age as she grew older. By now just mentioning her upcoming birthday sent her into either a rage or a funk; neither was controllable and both were miserable for everyone in the Hokage's office.

Tsunade once offered to teach Shizune the jutsu she knew to control age, but that had gained her a frightening glare.

"Are you suggesting that I'm old enough to need it?" Shizune had growled. Not said, growled. Tsunade had quickly excused herself into the safety of her office and made a point of not going out for the next six hours.

Besides, there was a more important issue raised by this message. Tsunade felt a grin stretch across her face, and pride filled her heart.

Shizune looked at her as though she'd gone mad. "What is it?"

"You're right," said Tsunade, "That no, uh, kid could evade one of our jounin on his own…unless somebody warned him beforehand that danger was coming."

Shizune looked confused for a moment longer before comprehension dawned on her face. "…Oh!"

"Oh indeed." Tsunade was grinning so widely she felt her face might crack in two. "Send Naruto in to see me."

Two hours later Naruto walked himself slowly home.

He had done it. He had solved his problem properly as a politician would. Tsunade had called him into her office and congratulated him profusely, grinning like Christmas had come early and hugging him for the first time…well, ever.

"I was really worried about you, kid," she said. "It almost seemed like you didn't have the stones to do this job for awhile there, but I should have known better. If you couldn't do it, you wouldn't be wearing this." She pulled gently at the cord of his precious necklace, her smile turning soft and fond.

"I don't want to know what you did," she said. "As a Hokage, you're going to have to learn when not to know things too. But whatever and however you did it, you saved your friend without putting blame onto the village and without ruining Kiba's career. I can't even begin to tell you how proud of you I am."

She hugged him again, and Naruto had to force himself not to pull away. He was feeling sicker by the second.

Sure he kept Inari from getting killed, and it had been easy enough. He just sent a discreet messenger bird to Inari's address. He knew it well enough since the two of them still exchanged letters sometimes.

But the problem wasn't even close to solved. Inari would have to lay low. He'd spend months or maybe even years hiding under rocks and in dirty basements. Kiba, meanwhile, would get a black mark on his record for a failed mission. His career would continue on, but he would lose money on future missions and no longer be able to boast a perfect tracking record.

This was the Hokage's way of solving a problem? It seemed like stop-gapping a cracked dam with bubble gum and hoping it would hold.

He had been fighting with himself for months now: do I want to become Hokage or not? Well, now he knew.

He didn't.

He knew it as surely and completely as he knew his own name. He didn't want to spend his life sitting behind a desk watching his allies doing horrible things and condoning it. He couldn't stand the thought of watching his friends go out to battle while he sat at home protecting his own neck. And now this new revelation, that he'd have to do those awful things while not actually getting any problems decisively solved!

No. Naruto had great confidence in himself, and didn't doubt that he was capable of doing the job. But he didn't want to. He hadn't fought so hard to get good at a job he loved just to give it up to take a job he hated.

Except what choice did he have?

Growing even more miserable and ashamed, Naruto thought of all the people who had supported his dream and believed in him. The Rookie Nine and their teachers had all given him words of encouragement, to say nothing of the last two Hokage, several clients, ninja from faraway villages, the Kazekage... Hell, even Kabuto had admitted to Naruto's talent eventually, and he was an enemy.

All those people had decided that Naruto was capable of being Hokage, and because he had stupidly told them all that was what he wanted they had supported him with every ounce of their strength. What was he supposed to tell them? Sorry, I thought I wanted to be Hokage without knowing a thing about what I was getting into, but now that the going is getting tough I think I'll quit. Thanks for decades of hard work, though!

Naruto positively rankled at the thought of being a quitter. He'd worked himself to the bone to show people just how strong he was, and how capable, and they had trusted and believed in him. He couldn't just turn around and tell them now that he was giving up.

Naruto almost tripped three times walking home, and didn't even notice the many people who waved hello to him. He waved back every time he heard his name, but barely registered where the yells were coming from, let alone who was making the noise.

He arrived home with a feeling of deep relief. It wasn't even seven o'clock yet, but he just wanted to go to bed and sleep. Maybe a revelation would come to him in his dreams.

The sight that greeted him when he opened the apartment door was enough to shock his mouth into falling right open.

The lights had been lowered and candles had been placed around the apartment in glass holders.

With horror music playing in his head, Naruto slid off his sandals and walked inside. Oh God no, no, Sakura can't be feeling romantic tonight, not now…

She was. He entered the dining room to see the table covered with their best white tablecloth and china dishes. More candles burned around the room, and the scent of delicious food wafted from the kitchen.

Oh no, oh God why do you hate me this much? How can you do this to me? I can't face her now, I can't look at her when I'm about to let her down!

"You look like someone just smacked you in the face with a board." Naruto heard Sakura's giggling voice from the kitchen before he saw her—all of her. She was wearing some gauzy little nothing that left his imagination with no work to do. "Dinner'll be ready in about three minutes, so just sit down and make yourself comfortable, okay?"

She went back to the kitchen but turned towards Naruto when he squeaked, "Why?"

Sakura smiled and there was so much affection in it that Naruto wanted to beat himself up. "Because I love you, silly." She looked down, and something sad entered her eyes. "I just…recently it's come to my attention that not all men are as wonderful as you are. And I realized how lucky I am, and how much I appreciate you. So I wanted to do something special for you."

She looked up again, and her smile brightened. "I checked and made sure there was no work waiting for you at the office tomorrow. You don't have to go in to work until the afternoon. And I took an evening off. So, you don't have to do anything tonight. You just relax and I'll take care of everything, okay?"

"No." The word came out so forcefully that Naruto was almost as taken aback as Sakura was. She'd worked so hard and done so much but he couldn't go through with this. He looked at the candles and her lingerie; he smelled her food…and felt his gut sinking with each passing second. He wanted so much to grin and bear the shame for her sake but the queasy feeling in his stomach was just going to get worse the longer he let her fool herself into thinking that he was worth all this time. He had to tell her the truth.

Sakura saw the pain and conflict on her lover's face. The smile dropped off of her face and she went rushing over to him. Naruto wished she wouldn't. She had gone to all this trouble and now that he was ruining it she was still thinking of his pain first.

"Naruto, what is it? What happened?"

He opened his mouth to tell her. She deserved to know everything, and he wanted to her to know it. The doubts he was having, the trouble at Tsunade's office, the fight with Kiba, the way he had finally realized that his dream was nothing but a delusion.

But he couldn't. He stood there with his mouth hanging open, staring at Sakura's earnest, worried face and he couldn't bring himself to tell her the truth.

She supports me, she loves me this much, she goes to so much trouble for me…how can I tell her it was all for nothing?

Finally, Naruto shut his mouth and turned his gaze to the floor.

He wasn't surprised to hear Sakura sniffling a moment later. She always did cry easily.

"You can't tell me?" she whispered.

Naruto shook his head.

"After all this time…Naruto, I know it's not just tonight! Something in your life is really eating at you. Why can't you tell me? You know I'll help you however I can. But please stop shutting me out of your life. I promised myself I'd wait for you to tell me, but it's been months now and…and I don't know what to do anymore."

Naruto kept his eyes fixed on the floor. He didn't want to see Sakura's teary, bewildered face, though he could see it clearly enough in his mind.

Sakura stood in front of him for what felt like an eternity, staring at him and clenching her fists and praying for Naruto to just look at her.

He didn't.

Sakura sobbed, covering her mouth with one trembling hand. Turning away from Naruto's troubled face, she ran into the bedroom without another word and slammed the door.

Naruto didn't look up for several long minutes. He felt more miserable then he'd ever felt in his life, and didn't have a clue of what to do to make it better. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he just be satisfied with achieving his dream and make everyone happy, damn it?

Finally Naruto made himself move. Straightening up, he walked slowly around the apartment and put out candles as he went. He went to the kitchen and turned off the burners (upon which rested several different types of ramen) and the stove (in which rested a meat lasagna that appeared to have been made from scratch). The he went to the living room and made himself as comfortable as possible on the couch, because he knew damn well that that was where he'd be sleeping tonight.

Everything was a mess. His work, his love life, his friends…it seemed like there was nothing happy in Konoha to look forward to. Naruto leaned back into the cushions and bitched to himself for a good half hour about the unfairness of it all and how the whole world was against him.

Naruto was not a whiner anymore than a coward, however, and it wasn't long before his brain began to work out ways to make himself feel better.

The world is all misery? Whispered a voice that sounded suspiciously like Naruto at twelve years of age. Well then, let's make our own fun.

A plan wormed its way into Naruto's mind, and he slowly began to smile. It was time to reacquaint himself with the fine art of practical joking.

A/N

Poor Sasuke...I've known people like him, men and women. They get caught up in rules until the idea of fun literally becomes dirty and selfish, and they impress that upon everyone around them. If someone is unlucky enough to marry or be born to them, they tend to be totally ruined as human beings. People like him just wear them down. On the happy end, since the Naruto manga is the way it is, Sasuke will be cured after a good fight with Naruto like everyone else, so Sasuke fans can take heart.

The bit about the common language was pulled out of my ass, and isn't from any official source.

I want to offer a huge thanks to you wonderful people who've reviewed thus far. You make my day. Please drop me another line!

Another debt of gratitude goes to my beta Ceras Gala who never lets me get away with less then my best.

Next: Naruto perks himself up again. Hee hee hee.