Disclaimer: Naruto's not mine...or is it?
Warnings: Currently unbetaed. Please feel free to point out mistakes.
Moving On
Chapter Thirteen
By Michiru's Mirror
Naruto couldn't help feeling nervous. Of course, he'd felt nervous so often recently that he was actually beginning to equate the feeling with his new job title, but now in particular he felt butterflies in his stomach.
It might have been because he was seeing Shikamaru and Temari off with the Tsuchikage. Naruto knew it was his imagination, but when he walked up the Konoha's main gates to say goodbye, he saw Tsunade and Jiraiya standing by Ganseki Tsuyoshi's side.
It was only for an instant. He gasped and rubbed his eyes until his vision returned to normal and he could see his friends as they were, but the image remained burned into his brain. Naruto felt ill. More than anything he wanted to order Shikamaru to stay in the village, to announce that he, Naruto, was going to go with Ganseki Tsuyoshi instead.
But you're the Hokage, a little voice inside his head reminded him. You can't go.
The sad truth was that even if Naruto had been free to go, he wouldn't have been a good choice. The situation between the Tsuchikage and his people was so delicate that sending in someone who hit first and asked questions later like him would be a disaster. Iwagakure had all the power it needed—now it required a thinker.
Naruto had spoken these thoughts aloud last night in bed with Sakura, trying to convince himself that he was making the right decision. She had smiled at him and said:
"Don't sell yourself short." Gently, she snuggled closer to his form and put her head on his shoulder. "As I recall, after Tsunade-shishou's death it was me who wanted to swing first and you who realized we had to ask questions."
"Well yeah, but that was just because I had to think about everyone's safety." Naruto sighed. "I remember when Shikamaru lead a bunch of us after Sasuke way back when Orochimaru had kidnapped him. And after it was all over and Neji and Chouji were almost dead, I heard that Shikamaru was so scared for his friends and so ashamed that he had failed to bring Sasuke back, that he cried."
Sakura nodded. "Yeah, I heard that from the nursing staff."
"Shikamarudoesn't cry," said Naruto. "He bitches and moans and sometimes yells when Temari is involved, but he doesn't cry. But with all that responsibility on him…it even took him apart and his brain is about a thousand years ahead of mine. What's it going to do to me?"
He was astonished to hear Sakura giggle. He was being serious, damn it!
"What's so funny?" he almost snapped.
"Listen to you," she said, grinning up at him from the crook of his shoulder. "You sound like a reliable, responsible Hokage."
Naruto wasn't sure whether to swell with pride or glare with irritation. Whatever combination he managed to come up with sent Sakura into hysterics.
Still, she had a point. Maybe he wouldn't be so bad for this job after all. Of course, Shikamaru was still the best candidate…usually. At the moment, however…
On the Thursday night he'd heard Temari had returned to Konoha, Naruto had gone to visit Shikamaru's home, assuming she'd be there. It was a nice place in a suburban area, the kind of place that Shikamaru had decided on back in his genin days. Small and neat, it would be good for him to provide for a normal, simple wife and two or three normal, simple kids.
Of course, it was a terrible place to put Temari up. She needed more excitement and hated the mundane neighbors who had, "All the ambition of tree sloths on depressants". It was even worse once the couple's many children had come along, since Temari fully encouraged them to be as warlike, tough, and loud as they liked.
Shikamaru had nearly been thrown out by his neighbors at least eight times now.
When Naruto arrived at the small gray house, the sound of screaming children let him know which one was Shikamaru's as usual (he'd never even had to bother to remember the address). He knocked on the door, and then did it again with more force when he realized no one inside could possibly hear a politely light knock.
The door opened to reveal a haggard looking teenage girl with hair almost the exact shade of Temari's. "What?" she snapped.
Naruto considered telling her not to talk to the Hokage that way, but he had a feeling this girl wouldn't care if he was Hi no Kuni's daimyo. In the background a little boy was whacking a little girl repeatedly over the head with a huge couch cushion while a slightly older girl was running circles around them making fire-engine noises.
"Um," said Naruto. "Are Shikamaru or Temari here?"
"Mom's asleep. Dad's at Uncle Chouji's." With that, the girl made to shut the door.
"Hang on!" said Naruto, catching the door in his hand. "Just…look, tell your mom the Hokage needs to see her tomorrow morning in his office, okay?"
The girl nodded and then shoved the door shut, almost making Naruto's wrist break from the force. Swearing and shaking his hand out, Naruto turned around and headed for the Akimichi compound.
Once there he found Shikamaru pacing around Chouji's living room, mumbling to himself and occasionally snarling something like, "How DARE she!"
"Yeah," said Naruto to Chouji, who was standing beside him in the doorway, looking rather put upon. "So Temari kicked him out?"
"Again," said Chouji. "Watch this. He's going to do this for awhile, and then he's going to swear to high heaven that he'll never go near her again. He'll spend a while talking about how he hates her guts. Then in a few weeks they'll be having marathon sex on their kitchen table and start all over again."
"I'm REALLY divorcing her this time!" Shikamaru yelled loudly enough to make both Naruto and Chouji jump.
"She's only been in town for, like, three hours!" said Naruto.
"Apparently something he did before she left made her mad enough to boot him to the curb the second she got in. Maybe he wouldn't let her take the kids."
Naruto put his head in his hands. "This is ridiculous. I need them at a meeting tomorrow so we can discuss our options with Iwagakure."
Chouji grinned ruefully. "Well, don't underestimate their dedication to duty. If nothing else, Shikamaru is a man who knows how to separate his personal and private lives, right?"
Naruto had to admit that was true. He again went back in his mind to Shikamaru's first mission as a squad commander, and how his friend had been willing to put the lives of his friends at risk to do his job. He'd hated doing it so much it had almost killed him, but he'd done it. In fact, the only time Naruto could remember Shikamaru not being completely professional in his leadership was when he'd taken Team Ten out to avenge Asuma. Even then, he'd allowed Tsunade to assign an outsider, Kakashi, to watch over them.
Yes…Shikamaru could do what he had to. Still, out of courtesy, Naruto left him alone that night to vent his anger and cool off.
And indeed, to his relief, Temari and Shikamaru were both very professional at the meeting the next day. They were cool towards each other, and didn't look at each other once even when discussing tactics, but personal problems weren't discussed. They didn't even raise their voices.
Temari's news was good. Gaara had agreed to give money and shinobi in aid. He left it to his sister to decide the details, as he was busy leading his men in battle with bandits on the Suna borders.
Temari warned both Naruto and the Tsuchikage that thanks to those bandits she couldn't promise much help, but she'd brought back a few three-man teams to boost ranks. If anyone could match the Iwagakure ninja in terms of sheer brutality and thick-headedness, it was Temari and her men, so that was quite a blessing.
Naruto stood now at the gates of Konoha at the butt-crack of dawn, struggling to keep the expected amount of composure for a Hokage as he sent his domestically-challenged friends off into unknown and dangerous territory. Chouji had agreed to take care of the children, since neither parent wanted to take them into a war zone.
"He's a good guy, Chouji," said Shikamaru.
Ganseki Tsuyoshi stood tall, somehow effortlessly attracting the awe of everyone around him. All near him were cowed by his aura, and conversations grew quiet as talkers came closer. Reverence filled every voice, even those of Konoha ninja who had been screaming for the Tsuchikage's blood only days ago.
Naruto was amazed by the crowd. It looked like dozens of shinobi had turned up to volunteer their services or see off the five teams Shikamaru had decided to take.
He supposed this meant the Tsuchikage's arrival in Konoha and his overtures of peace had already gone a long way in repairing the relationship between their two villages. There was no going back now; the radicals in Iwagakure would kill him just for this new alliance.
Still, Naruto didn't condescend to Shikamaru by "warning" him about how dangerous this would be. If he'd thought of the risks, there was no way Shikamaru hadn't.
So instead, Naruto watched Shikamaru and Temari give characteristically restrained goodbyes to their children and friends. He admired Ganseki Tsuyoshi's elegant farewells, and wondered how the younger man managed to be formal and friendly at the same time.
Then, he watched as the small party disappeared into the horizon, leaving only dust clouds and memories behind them. He was proud that he didn't yell after them to come back.
Actually, except for his nerves, Naruto was feeling better than he had in a week. Not usually a man to hold grudges, he'd been so angry at Sasuke recently that he hadn't been able to shake it off for days.
Even now Naruto scowled to think of how worried he'd been about the other man's safety. The way he'd disappeared into thin air had scared him badly enough that he'd been unable to sleep. Chouji arriving with news had been such a relief that he'd almost sagged to the floor. He was so happy to hear that Sasuke was even alive that he'd thought he'd be able to handle any news about his, Sasuke's, condition.
…Until he reached the Hyuuga estate. Naruto was led to one of the smallest, most out-of-the-way buildings in the compound and greeted by Hinata. She exited a small bedroom, gesturing for him to be quiet, and explained what had happened in the hallway.
"What do you mean he was drunk?" Naruto yelled as soon as he'd heard the news.
Hinata looked a bit taken aback by Naruto's obvious fury but rallied herself quickly. "Yes, it seems he and Kiba decided to hit the town."
"And the pavement," Chouji mumbled from behind him.
Naruto ignored him. "Do you mean to tell me I've been awake all night for this? Sakura-chan has been calling me every five fucking minutes from Konoha Hospital to see if there's been any news, she's so worried—she's running over here now!"
Hinata shrugged. "I'm afraid I don't know what to tell you."
"You don't have to tell me anything, but there's an Uchiha who's going to be real sorry as soon as I—"
"You never shut up, do you?"
Everyone froze as the door Hinata had come from opened once again. Sasuke emerged, his eyes red and his hair and clothes a rumpled mess. At least he'd had time to take a shower before Naruto came.
"What are you doing here?" he said coldly, trying to stand on his own two feet and mostly managing.
"Apparently nothing important. What the hell were you thinking just disappearing like that?"
"I was thinking I'm an adult with the right to go out and get drunk if I want to, as long as it doesn't interfere with my work. Kiba does it all the time, why aren't you yelling at him?"
"Because he does it all the time. You've never done anything like this, and suddenly just up and disappeared—do you know how worried we were?"
"I don't recall asking anyone for their concern," said Sasuke. His voice could have frozen a field on a warm day. "If you choose to waste your time in places where you're not wanted, you can hardly blame other people when you get snubbed."
He turned to Hinata and bowed formally. "Hyuuga-sama, thank you for all the trouble you went to. I'll—"
Nobody present found out just what it was Sasuke was planning to say, because Naruto pushed past Hinata and threw a punch before he could finish his sentence.
A small part of Naruto yelled at him as he attacked. What are you doing? It cried. How did this help when you did it to Kiba weeks ago? Aren't you supposed to be more mature than this now?
But maybe that was part of the problem. He was trying so hard to be a Hokage and think ahead that he just couldn't do it anymore. Or maybe it was just that, more than anyone else on earth, Sasuke had always been able to get under his skin. However Naruto developed, however grown-up he became, he'd never be more than twelve years old when it came to Sasuke.
Sasuke blocked Naruto's incoming fist and threw a punch of his own. Naruto ducked under the blow and tackled Sasuke in the gut, sending them both crashing back into the room Sasuke had come from.
There were no jutsu or curse seals used; there wasn't even any technique. Just fists and tackles and the joy of slamming each others heads into walls.
Why can't you see how worried I am about you? Naruto wanted to yell. Why do you always make me suffer this way? Can't be you be anything other than selfish for a single moment?
But if he wasn't selfish, he wouldn't be Sasuke and if he wasn't Sasuke, he wouldn't be the man Naruto had come to love so much.
And Naruto knew he wouldn't be himself if he didn't stand by those he loved until the giving took his last breath. Maybe that was why he lost control with Sasuke so quickly. Maybe a part of Naruto hated Sasuke for making him care so deeply.
He couldn't be sure of the reason. He just knew he was pissed.
With a roar, Naruto slammed an elbow down, aiming for Sasuke's face. Sasuke moved so that his elbow hit the ground with a painful crack and then rolled the two over so Naruto was under him. He threw a punch and grazed the edge of Naruto's face; Naruto struck back with a palm to Sasuke's nose.
Sasuke reeled back, swearing, with blood pouring from his nose but didn't stop. One foot smashed into Naruto's shoulder, nearly dislocating it.
The two were stumbling to their feet when Sakura appeared behind Hinata and Chouji, who were standing open mouthed in the doorway.
"What the hell are you doing?" she shrieked.
Naruto usually listened to her—especially when she was using her You-Are-So-Dead-voice—but when he got this angry nothing anyone said stopped him. He ignored her totally and readied another punch.
It's none of her business anyway!
Before he could throw it, Sakura made the fight her business by grabbing his arm and flinging him back into the bed behind him.
The bed had Kiba on it; he was filthy and smelled terrible. As Naruto landed, he let out a grunt and woke up.
"Whazzis?" Kiba mumbled, trying to sit up.
Naruto sat up in time to see Sakura push Sasuke into the wall.
"All right!" she snapped. "Now you're going to tell me what's going on or you're going to be glad I'm a medic."
Sasuke and Naruto exchanged a sullen glance before glaring down at the floor.
Chouji stepped awkwardly through the doorway, his hands held up in a gesture of peace. "It's nothing, Sakura. Sasuke just got a little drunk and Naruto overreacted because of his worry—"
"DRUNK?" Sakura yelled, rounding on Sasuke. "We've been up all night worrying and you've been DRUNK?"
"Enough."
Hinata's quiet command was enough to freeze everyone where they stood. She walked in between Sakura and Sasuke as Naruto picked himself up off the bed (leaving Kiba still blinking confusedly).
"My home is always open to friends in need of aid but it's not the place for your family drama," she said. Though she didn't raise her voice, it was clear that Team Seven was being scolded, and all three felt slightly ashamed. "I won't tell you how to run your affairs, or what to do with your time, but I'll thank you not make me regret letting you in."
There was a collective hanging of heads as Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke avoided Hinata's piercing gaze.
"Sorry," Sakura finally said, because Naruto and Sasuke both had too much pride to say it.
"That's quite all right," said Hinata.
"Now, Uchiha-sama, I believe you were going to tell me something?"
Sasuke's face was sour. "No, Hyuuga-sama, I was just thanking you for your care. I'll take my leave."
And so he did without another word. His clothes were rumpled and Naruto bet he had a hell of a headache, but it was clear that Sasuke would rather go out into Konoha's streets looking like a vagabond than spend another second in his company.
Naruto was fairly eager to leave himself. After dispensing awkward words of gratitude to both Chouji and Hinata he hurried out the door, Sakura a pink shadow in his wake.
He made it about three blocks before exploding. "What's the MATTER with him? I've never met anyone so determined to cause me grief! He's worse than Kakashi-sensei and Orochimaru combined!"
"It's not that he wants to cause you grief," said Sakura, "It's that he doesn't care if he is."
She sighed sadly and grabbed Naruto's hand. "He does have a point, though. It's not like it's our job to look after him—I mean, he is an adult. I heard him say that before you punched him, that he's an adult, right?"
"Yeah. But, so what? I'm an adult but it would suck if you weren't here to help me."
"Sasuke doesn't want to need anyone," said Sakura.
"I know," Naruto replied. "And look how well he's turned out on his own. What the hell suddenly made him go and get drunk?"
"Well…he's going through a lot right now," said Sakura. "I can't really talk about the specifics, but he's been at the Hospital a few times—"
Naruto immediately grew alarmed. "Is he okay?"
"Physically, he's fine. It's just…some of the mental problems he has. And now Momoko's left him and it's like…I think he feels he'll never achieve his dream. He's worked so hard to rebuild the Uchiha clan and it looks like that's never going to happen."
Naruto digested that. It made sense—losing a dream was a traumatically awful thing to happen. Hell, the way that he himself had been acting in the last few months was proof of that.
Sasuke acted invincible when he had a goal to strive for. But now…?
"Well," Naruto said finally, "If he's lost one dream then he just has to find another one to work towards."
"That's a great idea, but I don't think he knows how."
"No one knows how," said Naruto. "But, Sasuke's always been strong! He's feeling off balance right now if what you say is true, but he'll find his way again.
"It just takes time."
At about the same time that Chouji and Naruto were staring at a raving Shikamaru, Sasuke was out with Kiba again getting drunk.
Sasuke was not exactly pleasant company but Kiba enjoyed hanging out with him nonetheless. In Konoha it was rare to find truly downtrodden, miserably depressed people. Usually if a ninja was that far gone they'd kill themselves or get killed on a mission.
Kiba tried that route. He'd spent years volunteering for dangerous assignments and waited for an opponent's kunai to do what he lacked the courage to. Yet all he'd lost were body parts; he himself always wound up returning to Konoha and the alcohol he kept in his apartment.
And then he'd heard about Sasuke's circumstances. Imagine, a person as miserable as he who had also miraculously escaped death for so many years, wandering around Konoha! The comfort Kiba had taken from the idea was incredible.
Now, after hanging out with the man for a week, Kiba realized he'd been wrong: Sasuke was not as pathetic as he was. He was worse.
Kiba had never felt so much pity for another human being. He knew what a loser he was now, but up until his late twenties he'd lead a great life. He'd had a lover he trusted, friends who cared for him, a close family that supported him and a job he enjoyed. Sasuke had very little by comparison.
Without realizing it, Kiba had begun to examine the memories he'd repressed for so long with alcohol and work. At first he'd been simply curious to find the differences between Sasuke's life and his own but with time he'd begun to enjoy the task for its own sake. It didn't hurt as badly as he'd thought it would.
He remembered his twenty-fifth birthday, when his mother suddenly decided she wanted to cook for him as an expression of love. Tsume hadn't cooked since she was fourteen, to the relief of Inuzuka everywhere who had almost been poisoned by her, but disapproving whispers of her lack of an "Okaa-san no aji (1)" had made her rethink never making food for her children.
So, she had come up with some god-awful concoction of meat and vegetables that were so overcooked he couldn't tell which was which. His first reaction was to withdraw from the table in horror, but Hana had kept her dog Kanemaru on his back and swore that she'd have him eat Kiba alive if he complained…
"Shit!"
Kiba was jerked out of his reverie by Sasuke's loud expletive and brought unwillingly back to the present, where Sasuke had come up with the idea of repainting Kiba's apartment.
Kiba frowned as he examined his living quarters with a slightly fuzzy eye. He didn't think it was so bad. All right, it was cramped and a little moldy around the edges. And there were pizza boxes and beer cans scattered over all available surfaces. And, okay, maybe the paint was an ugly shade of puce that was peeling at the edges and a smell like rotting meat was hanging around the place, but still. Sasuke could have taken more than one horrified look at the place before announcing that everything had to change, the snob.
The idea of changing it himself had come after downing a six pack of beer. Digging through the bowels of Kiba's closet, he'd come up with a brush missing half its bristles and a can of mostly-congealed green paint. Declaring this find "brilliant", he set to work on a random spot on Kiba's wall. It was looking more and more like it had been puked on as moments passed.
"Are you sure you don't wanna change into an older shirt or something?" Kiba had asked, eying the expensive material Sasuke was clothed in.
"Oh please," Sasuke said, turning so Kiba could see the Uchiha fan proudly displayed on the back. "I haven't spilled anything since I was two."
Kiba had refrained from pointing out that he hadn't tried to coordinate himself when quite this drunk before either. Now, watching Sasuke swear with paint all down the front of his shirt, Kiba wasn't sure whether to laugh or say, "I told you so."
It turned out that he didn't have the time to say anything, because Sasuke grabbed his lone arm (and another six-pack) and went running out the door.
"Sasuke…what…"
"This shirt is an heirloom! Centuries of precious Uchiha history are imprinted in its every stitch! I won't let a can of paint beat it like this!"
And with that dramatic war cry, Sasuke dragged Kiba into the night.
Sasuke continued to talk about the noble history of Uchiha weaving but Kiba couldn't concentrate. As Sasuke pulled him down back roads and through crowds of people, his mind floated back to his loved ones: Shino and Hinata, this time.
Being alone with Shino had its advantages but Kiba always loved spending his time out of bed with them both. When he was alone with Hinata, she would stutter and never say a word; when he was alone with Shino, he would get lectures about responsibility. When the three of them were together, on the other hand, there was an atmosphere of comfort that would make Kiba want to burrow into somebody—hell, whoever was closest, really—and just relax.
He thought of one night a good twenty years ago, when Hinata wasn't Hyuuga-sama and Akamaru and Shino were still with him. Evening had set in and Hinata was chasing fireflies with Akamaru barking at her heels…
Kiba was jerked back to reality again by Sasuke coming to a sudden stop. They were standing in front of a small home repair supply shop that was clearly not open. A short, balding little man, halfway finished with drawing the security bars down over the door, was staring at the two in surprise.
"Ah," he said, his eyes darting back and forth between the two drunk figures, "I'm afraid we're closing for the night."
"It'll just take you a second," said Sasuke. "I need paint thinner!"
Kiba groaned. "Sasuke, I don't think—"
"Sir, if you just wait until tomorrow I can answer any questions much more thoroughly than I can tonight."
"What's to question? I have a stain on my shirt and need to get it off!"
The man looked flabbergasted. "Sir, I don't think that's really the way to do it."
"Excuse me, is this paint?" Sasuke pointed to the stain. "And isn't paint thinner supposed to do what its title suggests and thin paint? Give me the damn thinner!"
In the next moment, Sasuke was splashing thinner wildly over the front of his shirt. Behind him, the man was moving to close up his store as quickly as possible before the weird drunk men could think of anything else.
"Yow, that burns!"
Sasuke began to tear his shirt off but Kiba wasn't paying attention. He remembered this place now…he had met Akamaru here.
Kiba slowly stepped away from the frantically stripping Sasuke and stared down the street.
The Inuzuka compound was just blocks away. He had shunned it for years now but it was impossible to forget. He had been four years old when his mother had dragged him down here to the paint store to grab some god-awful shade of pink that Hana wanted for her bedroom.
Tsume had begun talking with the store attendant, a young woman, while Kiba had kicked rocks outside the store. He had been about to yell inside to his mother, to tell her he was bored and wanted to go home when suddenly he felt…
Felt…
Even thirty one years later Kiba didn't have the words to describe the sensations that had come over him that day. It had been the feeling of not being alone, like there had been a missing piece in his soul that had just been found and replaced.
The little boy froze in the road, unable to understand what his heart was telling him. He had straightened up and stared ahead, just as he was doing now so many years later, as a small dog came bounding up the street.
I found you! The dog yelped gleefully as it ran. I finally found you!
But wait. Kiba blinked and shook his head out to try and clear the hallucinations from it. Powerful memory though it was, there was no reason for him to actually see Akamaru running towards him. Yet he could actually, physically see a dog coming…
How strange. Kiba squinted at the figure; it wasn't Akamaru. It was a bigger, older dog with fur so black it shone blue in the moonlight. But that shit-eating doggie grin, Akamaru's grin, was on its face as it barreled down the street. It jumped over rocks and leapt around people as it came forwards, its—no, his—eyes on Kiba and his tongue hanging out from its excitement.
I found you! He barked. He jumped one last jump right into Kiba's chest; both dog and man tumbled to the ground. You've been gone for so long and I've been so lonely but now I've finally found you!
Kiba wrapped his arm around the beast, his beast, as the dog bathed his face with his tongue and yipped his excited greeting over and over.
Kiba had been found. Again.
A/N
(1) Okaa-san no aji: Literally "a mother's taste". In Japan, when children come home from an absence, a mother is expected to use her special, motherly instinct to prepare the kid's favorite foods as an expression of her love. When I told people my mother didn't cook, she was immediately assumed to be a cold and unfit mother.
I never realized how much fun it would be to write Shikamaru and Temari! I was only planning to cameo the two of them as divorcees, but Temari beat me up until I changed my mind…Next chapter will be mostly them.
The bit with the paint thinner: another true story.