Valyrian Steel

Chapter 16

Cat

Cat arrived at the Saltpans three days after leaving Dragonstone and did not stay long. The town had been partially rebuilt and was still populated. She bought some extra blankets for Mirage and rode away at a gallop. The Sand Steed was everything she had ever dreamed of when she was Arya. He was fast, fierce, spirited and did not tire. She rode him for a day and a night and finally stopped the next day at midday when she came upon an old farm.

It was abandoned and part of the cottage had burned down but the other half was still habitable. Cat brought in Mirage and fed him a few apples and mint leaves. She left to hunt and managed to find three rabbits by warging into a snow owl that had traveled south. She lit a fire in the cottage and cooked her rabbits with some bread she had packed and a drink of honeyed mead. After she finished she set to boiling snow for her tea and dozed off with a warm belly.

She dreamed her wolf dreams and ran after a snowy white buck with blood trailing down its leg. Nymeria took the buck down at the base of a wierwood and tore into its belly. She shared her kill with her wolf cousins and lay at the base of the tree looking up at the mood through blood red leaves.

Cat woke up when she heard a noise outside and drew her blade. Someone pulled the door open and she retreated into the shadows. She knew no one had followed her, she had ridden too fast and the snow last night would have covered her tracks. No, this was a scavenger who had been drawn in by her fire. The intruder spotted her spare rabbit slow roasting by the fire and rushed towards it tearing into the meat. It was a small red headed girl wearing a green dress and ragged brown cloak. Her hands were bundled but she did not care. As the girl ate clumsily Cat closed her eyes and listened for others, there were none.

She emerged from the shadows and picked up her things ignoring the dirty girl who crawled to the corner in fear. She saddled Mirage again and fed him another winter apple dropping one for the trembling girl in the corner who snatched it greedily up when Cat continued to ignore her. Cat led Mirage out and stopped at the doorway looking back at the hungry girl. She pulled out five gold pieces and placed them on the window ledge along with a small dagger one of her blankets. Cat ignored the child when she called out to her and when she chased after her on the road and urged Mirage into a gallop. After a day and a night she came upon and old inn, there were no lights inside and it had been boarded up. There were burn marks along some of the windows that made it obvious that there had been a fire sometime ago.

Suddenly she remembered being Arya and playing with Mycha and Nymeria, searching for rubies. The Hound killed her friend and she killed men with him at that very inn. She wiped away something wet from her cheek.

"Stupid."

Cat dismounted and stabled Mirage, there was still some hay barrels. The ones above still seemed suitable to eat so she spread it in Mirage's stall and brushed him down before feeding him some sage leaves she's gotten in town. Mirage ate happily and Cat covered him in a blanket. Cat broke down the door to the Inn and warmed some water from the well for her and Mirage. She slept and dreamed of Winterfell and wolves.

Howling and rushing at a metal man in red on a horse, she had to work the joints to reach the meat. Her cousins were no longer afraid to eat man as long as she led the hunt. They tore at the horse and took down the other two metal men on horseback. A few died and this made the rest more vicious, fallen cousins. Her sister fell near here. Nymeria felt it many years ago when her human sent her away in fear, but not of her, never of her, for her. They were together now, hunting killing, she felt closer. Nymeria lifted her head and sniffed the air, she was much closer. She ran leaving her cousins to feast.

Cat woke up to the sound of wolf howls and felt joy and dread. She had been so many people; Arry, Lumpyhead, Nan, Weasel, Cat, Mercy, Lya. How could she be Arya again? Arya Stark was a happy good girl, wild but kind. Arya Stark would have tried to save the girl at the cottage. Arya spent most of her time being angry or scared, angry at the world for her family and afraid of being discovered. With the faceless men she forgot that fear and buried that anger. She was strong with the faceless, fearless and cold to her own anger. The howls got closer and she heard Mirage cry out in fear. Her family wouldn't recognize her. They would turn away from her like Gendry did. Cat felt an ache in her heart. Gendry was so much like Jon that Arya was sure what would happen when Jon saw her for what she was, a murderer. Gendry was angry with her for serving her weasel soup, but he still followed her until they met with the Brotherhood without Banners. Just like Jon who left for the Watch. Gendry was her pack, but he left her. If she had been a gentle sweet lady maybe he would have stayed with her. Maybe father would have kept her in the North instead of taking her South to become a proper lady.

Suddenly the howls were so close that she felt them in her chest and she remembered what she was. She was a direwolf, and direwolves do not waver. Winter was here, and her pack was here. She was afraid, and that was ok. Arya was Arry, Nan, Cat, Mercy and even Lya. She had always been Arya even when she was No One. She dreamed with Nymeria everynight, only Arya could do this. If her family turned away from her it would not change a thing. She had been a lone wolf for years, even if they didn't want her she would be there to protect them and do what they could not. She had become stronger than all of them, and they would need her even if they did not want her.

Paws scratched at the door and there was a whine, Arya opened the door. Nymeria stood there larger than ever and her golden eyes met Arya's gray. For a moment the world stilled, until Arya smiled.

"Nymeria, come."

Her wolf lunged knocking her to the ground and licking her laughing tear stained face. Arya cried and clutched at Nymeria's winter coat. She sat there hugging her wolf sobbing with joy and grief. Nymeria couldn't stop nuzzling and licking her. Arya hadn't cried in years, she had tried to be strong and now she finally had someone to cry with. They sat there until Nymeria's cousins appeared, they pawed at the stable doors and Arya stood.

"Nymeria, no" Her wolf looked down at her, she was taller than Arya now, and her pack was hungry.

"I made a promise," Arya added. Nymeria turned on her pack and snarled. They backed away from the stables. Arya looked at the sky, the moon was out and her pack was hungry, she clutched Nymeria's fur and mounted her back. They spent the night hunting and killing till their bellies were full.

Notes:

I might just delete this cause I feel like its a shit chapter, and short.
I tried to explore Arya's indentity and abandonment issues and why she is not a sociopath but it's done best here.
post/100609534345/in-defense-of-arya-stark

news/2146368/game-of-thrones-mental-illness/
basically she is in full survival mode and suffers from ptsd, identity and abandonment issues. Even though Gendry was trying to branch out to find a place of his own where he could help the common folk, Arya still saw it as yet another instance of someone leaving her. His decision didn't have anything to do with her but she was still a child and it stung. After she disappears he feels overwhelming guilt and ends up looking after a gaggle of orphans.

Arya's self identity issues also stem from her self esteem, early bullying in her childhood made her believe that she was less than. This is not all Sansa and Jeyne's fault but the world they live in, Septa Mordane and to some extent Arya's parents.
post/88885832356/arya-and-sansas-relationship
post/104554073525/arya-was-bullied-by-her-sister-and-it-should-not