I am glad people have stuck with this story, especially after the nice long break between chapters three and four. Thanks guys, I appreciate it! Also, I realized it is part of Hanukah right now, so Happy Hanukah to anyone celebrating that holiday!
From Part Four:
"You know what House? You need to figure out why you self-destruct around women by yourself. I can't answer that one.
"You're right Wilson. This is a problem you can't possibly help me with."
House turned and left Wilson's condo, and without even hesitating he left on his bike for Cuddy's house. He Cameron is a woman, Cuddy is a woman, he hoped that she could shed some light on to his interactions with them.
It wasn't until he was pulling into Cuddy's driveway that House began to wonder if going to Cuddy for help with his women, okay, woman, problems was smart.
Ding-dong!
Cuddy answered the door, complete with a scowl on her face at being woken up on a Saturday night, her night. Saturday nights were her night to do what she damn well pleased, she didn't have to be at the hospital the next day and on this particular Saturday she had decided to go to bed early.
"Damnnit House. What do you want? It's after midnight!"
"We need to talk."
"Isn't that phrase reserved for people in a relationship?"
"Okay, how about, 'I need to talk?'"
"That's better, but why couldn't it have waited till morning?"
"Technically it is morning."
"You do realize you stand more of a chance of getting what you want if you are nice to me, right?"
"I suppose you're right. Okay, here it goes. Cameron left."
"What? As in she resigned again?"
"No, worse, at least for my ego. She left me in the middle of our date."
"You were crazy enough to go on another date?"
"Yeah. I really believed this one was a good idea too. And people actually let me practice medicine? Shouldn't you be intelligent to do that?"
"House, you are a brilliant doctor. Your skills with women, well, they leave something to be desired."
"That's why I'm here. I need a woman's perspective."
"Okay, why don't you tell me what led up to her leaving."
"I told her she was a hypocrite and a horrible person."
"And it all becomes clear now. You sure know how to win a woman's affections House."
"Next time try something along the lines of, 'Wow! You look amazing!' when you pick her up. Women take a lot of time getting ready for their dates. It is nice to know that their efforts are noticed. And later you can ask things about her. Notice I ask about her, not interrogate her. There is a difference, one I am not sure you are aware of."
"Interrogating works so well when you need information though."
"Cameron is not a patient who you think is lying to you House. You don't need to try to trick her. Just try things like this, 'So you aren't an only child. Do have brothers or was it a house full of girls?' Remember, interest, not disbelief."
"I don't believe anyone. Personal policy."
"Make an exception. Oh, and try not to stare at her breasts and ass all night. Cameron doesn't strike me as the type who wants to be ogled lustfully constantly through out the evening."
"And to think I ever doubted your intelligence. Then again I always knew you were all woman, no doubting that. Just check out those…"
"If I were you I'd stop right there House."
"I was going to say slippers!"
"Of course you were."
"I am heading out, I need my beauty sleep you know."
"Sure House. That's why you come in to work everyday without having shaved or combed your hair in a week, not to mention ironed your shirt."
"You have to be kidding. You expect a confirmed bachelor to iron his shirt? Isn't that what wives and girlfriends are for!"
"No wonder you are still single…"
"You know you love me."
"True, madly, deeply. Now leave! I need my beauty sleep! Some of us do care what we look like."
House gave Cuddy a smile, a real smile, not the smirk he uses most of the time that says, 'I am right and you are wrong, as per usual,' and said thank-you. He was genuinely grateful for Cuddy's advice, even if it meant she had this to hold over on him from now until eternity.
When House got back to his condo he debated the merits of calling Cameron. On one hand he could take the opportunity to apologize to her for being an asshole. On the other hand he would probably be waking her up, and that would only further piss her off. He decided against calling her right then. Pissing the woman off royally who you want to date twice in a few hours is not the best way to win her over, and even he realized that. He'd call her in the morning. Maybe even bring her coffee and a doughnut. Brownie points, and he needed them after his performance this evening.