Note: The "happy right now" thing isn't mine, I borrowed it from Grey's Anatomy.

From Part Five:

When House got back to his condo he debated the merits of calling Cameron. On one hand he could take the opportunity to apologize to her for being an asshole. On the other hand he would probably be waking her up, and that would only further piss her off. He decided against calling her right then. Pissing the woman off royally who you want to date twice in a few hours is not the best way to win her over, and even he realized that. He'd call her in the morning. Maybe even bring her coffee and a doughnut. Brownie points, and he needed them after his performance this evening.

It was 10am the next morning, and House knew it was time to call Cameron. Thank God she's an atheist. He didn't think he could handle waiting any longer before calling her. At the rate he was going he was going to be addicted to Zanax just from the stress of the, 'Cameron situation."

Ring-Ring-Ring

"Cameron."

"Yeah, Cameron, it's House."

"Give me five reasons I shouldn't hang up on you."

"Five? Um…I'm sorry and um…I'm sorry and…"

"Not your most eloquent presentation ever House. But just for kicks I think I'll let you keep rambling."

"Oh, so this is what? A pity-conversation?"

"That, and a way to amuse myself. It is Sunday morning after all, so most of my neighbors are at church which means I can't listen to the Anderson's old-school rock, or the Dale's fight about who was supposed to pay the rent this month or, and this is my usual wake-up call, the Christenson's get busy getting busy. So your phone call, it has a lot to live up to."

"I can tell, obnoxious rock, marital bliss, and real marital bliss. But don't worry, I always deliver."

"Like last night?"

"I never said what I deliver!"

"Fair enough."

"But I want to make it up to you. How about a date?"

"What?!? House! Do you honestly expect me to go on a third date with you after how spectacularly our first two went? My looks may be what got me hired, but my brains are what have kept me on your staff!"

"Wait, you don't want to go out with me?"

"I did, once upon a time and a land far, far away. But I am living in the 21st century now and realize we don't always get out happy endings, or even happy right nows. But that's okay, I can take care of myself, buy my own health insurance and send myself flowers on Valentine's Day."

"Did you say you'd send yourself flowers on Valentines Day?"

"No comment."

"I'd buy you flowers."

"Yeah, dead ones."

"No, real ones, and I'd even make sure I pick out the right ones too."

"I get it. You'd have Wilson buy them for you."

"No. But I'd make him come with me to make sure I don't buy 'dead ones.'"

"How sweet. Now, can you bring Wilson on our date to keep yourself from being a total asshole?"

"You want me to bring Wilson?"

"Either him or Cuddy. They are the only people with any influence over you. And I prefer not to have to compete with Cuddy's feminine attributes for your attention all night."

"You don't think her fun bags are the greatest thing since…"

"Shut-up House. And no, I don't. I don't generally go around admiring the Dean of Medicine's 'fun bags.'"

"You should try it sometime. It gives you something to do other than clinic duty."

"Then you definitely shouldn't be doing it. You probably owe her clinic duty into the next millennia already."

"Doubt it. Remember all those clinic hours you, Chase, and Forman were doing a while ago for me?"

"While you were doing rehab on your leg?"

"Yeah, well, I had you three idiots do a few extra to help cover the debt I had accumulated."

"Idiots? House, you want me to go on a date with you. Don't call me an idiot. It won't help your cause. Didn't you learn anything last night?"

"Last night?" House gulped. Now he was nervous. Did Cuddy or Wilson sell him out and tell her that he had been to see them?

"Yeah, at the high school. You insulted me and I left. Right now we are headed for a repeat, only this time it will be, you insult me and I hang up on you."

"I am beginning to see the pattern."

"Good. I always knew your brain was good for something other than solving medical mysteries."

"Like buying un-dead flowers."

"I'm sure you can buy a great bunch of 'un-dead flowers.' Now the question is, can you buy them for me?"

"Oh, so now that you know about my mad flower buying skills you want me."

"Yes House. That's it exactly. Now go buy some flowers, pick me up in something other than on you bike, and take me out breakfast. But I am warning you. This is your last chance."