Disclaimer : Castle is not mine.
Alexis never went back to the loft after walking out of the gym. She walked straight out onto the busy New York streets with no idea where she is going ut she isn't thinking.
It's hard she thinks they don't understand and it's most probably not helping that I'm not talking but it's hard. It's hard knowing you've beaten people just to survive and it's hard to know that you were once someone so different, so innoccent.
She thinks of the person she was before all of this happened. But she wasn't social, she never had any friends and she knew this because of her diary. The last entry that made her cry. She thinks she was smart. She must have meant the world to her family though judging by the way her dad looks at her like she is the most precious thing in the world.
She is hurting knowing that she had all these memories and great times that shaped her to be the person she was and now they shaped her to be a fighter and she is completely different she is guessing by the way her dad looks at her when she is fighting, like he lost something. A small part of her wishes she was still there where she could stick to everything she knew and she didn't have to involve everyone in her pain. Where she only had to stick to wha she knew and everyone saw her for what she is, a fighter. Where she didn't have the pressure to remember old memories or have the pressure to be who she was and not who she is now. When she was in the dark room it didn't bother her that no one understood becasue it was just her and Tim and that was okay but she wanted him to be free of this pain and misery which he was. He was free and she was that constant reminder.
Alexis looks up and sees a familiar man crossing the road and followed him quickly ignoring all the honking cars at her and followed him into the park. It was Mann.
He sat down on a bench and faced her, he planned this but Alexis didn't care though she sat down next to him.
"Hello Alexis." He said in that cool voice the one that made her skin crawl and wanting to make her take a step back.
"Mann."
"How have you been adapting to normal life."
"Really, after all you've done to me that's what you ask." Alexis said anger quickly rising, all she wanted was an explanation. When it was onvious he wasn't going to answer any of her questions she sighed giving in "not well."
"Talk to me Alexis how are you."
"I don't think you get to know that so stay away from me." She growled and stood to walk away but he was faster and grabbed her arm tightly, enough to hurt her as she tried to squirm away but he tightened his hold.
"You listen to me as much as you don't like it I'm the only one who understands and I think you know that to, I can just as easily take you again but I'm chosing not to so why don't you ask yourself why."
"Alexis" A voice yelled over to her and Detective Esposito and Ryan were running towards her and she looked into Mann's eyes. "You alright Alexis ?" He asked glaring at the man who dropped his hand no longer holding her arm and he had this smile on his face that made him look like he was in pain.
Alexis had a choice to make either tell them and Mann would be locked away forever Alexis would have the chance to be normal and never fear him or she could have him to go to to talk to no matter what he did to her he was right he understood her and she never knew if she would ever find that again.
"Everything is fine I tripped and he caught me." She smiled and she saw that look in his eyes like she had just helped him in his plan and she knew she would regret this. She turned and walked away ignoring the vices behind her and going in search of the loft. This wasn't a smart thing to do, to go on a walk in an unfamiliar city where she knew where nothing was, she didn't ever know her way home and she couldn't use familiar places because she didn't pay attention to where she was going so she just walked trusting her instincts. When she couldn't take it anymore she found a phone box dialing 9-1-1 she asked to be put throught to Detective Beckett.
"Hi Detective Beckett please could you come and pick me up ?" Alexis asked looking around her at all the angry faces of people as they walk past her and she felt a small panic rise, why did she lie to those Detecives ? They could have protected her they could have stopped him.
"I'm on my way where are you ?"
"I don't know I went on a walk to cool off and I didn't pay attention to where I was going and now everyone looks so angry and I don't know what to do and I can't-"
"Shhh Alexis it's okay tell me what you see."
"I see a starbucks and ook store and a resturant."
"Okay I know where you are I want you to walk over to the bookstore for me okay ?"
"Okay."
"I'm nearly there." Beckett said 5 minutes later, they had stayed on the phone ven though neither of them had spoken.
It was a minute later when Beckett pulled up outside of the book store and Alexis quickly got in and let the tears flow.
"Detective I think I made a mistake." And then Alexis just cried.