Dear Mrs. and Mrs. Granger (I still have trouble imagining a 'dear' Pansy - no offense, but you will probably always be a bit snaky; ready to bite if threatened or if you simply feel like it),

if someone would have told me a few years ago that the two of you would get married, I would have asked them how much firewhiskey they'd had. I also would have told them they'd better not try to put my best friend under such bad influence. Honestly, Hermione, you were bloody insane for going for the snake queen, of all people.

I know I did not react the best when I first heard about the two of you, and at the risk of you going through with your threat of hexing me if I ever apologized again, I am going to do so anyways. I am sorry for acting like an idiot back then. I was hung up on my first love. Today, I am happy that you broke it off back then, Hermione. I was blind to the fact that we likely would have destroyed a long lasting friendship by a relationship that was bound to fail.

As for you, Pansy, I still owe you for giving me the necessary push to ask my fiancé out the first time. I know it took the two of us years to accept each other beyond the fact that we were both important to Hermione, but we got past that and for that I am glad. I gotta come clean about something; I saw the girl I knew for the first 6 years of Hogwarts in you for a long time, and I did everything in my power to convince Hermione to find another lover. Remember that time when she wouldn't talk to me for nearly a month? I had set her up on a date with a coworker she knew nothing about. It was incredibly awkward, of course (sorry for that, 'Mione). It took me some time until I realized that, despite your often abrasive ways, you were a nice person underneath. (I could, of course, have listened to Hermione, Harry, Ginny, Luna and several others, but you know me, I tend to be a bit hardheaded at times.) I am now proud to call you a friend.

Back to you, Hermione: You still the best friend Harry and I could wish for, and I wish you all the best for your marriage. In a few months, after my wedding to Parvati, all of the golden trio will be married. We have come a long way from the three kids fighting a troll in a school bathroom.

As you know, I have always had a way with words; especially with saying the wrong ones at the wrong time, so I am going to cut it short here: I wish the very best to the two of you on your honeymoon, moving into your new home, in your married life until death do you part. When you get your first child I call dibs on godfather.

I gotta finish it here, otherwise Parvati will kill me for leaving her alone with the junior for any longer while she is trying to work.

All the best from

Ron Weasley, with greetings from Parvati and little Regulus

PS: Please come by soon after the honeymoons for a chat (Hermione, I'm counting on you to stop Pansy from spilling details I never wanted to know). Also, never expect a letter this long from me again. Those are only for higher occasions. Next time, it will be my classic two sentence letter again.

PPS: I know that when you read this, the wedding will already be over, so I cannot tell you in person – I hope you like the card (bought it in a muggle store – why does the magical world have no gift cards?) and more importantly, the gift.

I really, really do not want to know which of the spells you used and how, but I know that you've recently thought about how to become parents. This is a copy of a compendium of spells I bought at Borgin and Burke's (never thought I'd set foot into that shop again, but there you have it). Basically, it contains ways of changing your anatomy or parts of it to help two women have a child together. Due to the risks of the spells and potions, should they be used incorrectly, all of them are forbidden in Britain. However, several (the ones on the pages I charmed green) are allowed on the Bahamas. I trust with two witches as skilled as you are will not make mistakes using them. Please let us know if you've had any luck.