Chapter 16
It was a cold and dark December morning for the people of Konoha. This winter had been especially cold in comparison to the last few, and it was easy to see that it would be the first year that Konoha got snow in a number of years.
By herself, a lone figure walked through the streets of Konoha, just reaching the clan district of the village. It was an odd sight for the ninja awake to see a civilian in the district, even one with such political status as her. It wasn't because civilians weren't allowed, or anything similar, but just that there was no real reason for civilians to go to the clans. There'd be the occasional child running through with their friends, but that was normally it.
Mebuki was usually awake at this hour. As a woman of political significance, being up early in the mornings was something that that she was used to. She had to make sure that everything was right with the properties and companies she owned and had shares in, and would do what she could to keep things running smoothly.
Now, her early rise would serve another purpose.
Moving towards her destination, the sandy-haired woman carried herself high, though inwardly sulking about how she had put herself into this situation. In hindsight, it was obvious to see that Naruto was going to win. She must have really believed that she had the upper hand in that last match to have placed such high stakes against herself. It didn't show on the outside, though. She couldn't afford to let people see her sulking and moping around because she lost a bet to a kid.
Mebuki stopped. She had finally reached her destination, and the sun still had yet to rise. Her hand rose just below her face and knocked slowly but firmly against the door. She couldn't sulk about her current position. She put herself there, and now she had to suck it up and deal with the responsibilities. She had yet to tell her daughter that she was now working for Naruto. She was well aware of the arguments her daughter got into with Ino and Inago, and didn't want for her daughter to be angry with her too. She would keep this a secret from her for as long as she could.
She had stood there and continued to knock for about ten minutes before a grunt and a faint voice could be heard on the other side of the door.
"Give it a rest, I'm coming!" Mebuki could hear. The voice was undoubtedly Anko's. Her voice had a specific tone to it that others couldn't replicate as seamlessly as she could.
Another minute later and the door finally opened. Anko was wrapped up in her coat, her hair in a messier, hasty ponytail than usual, and a slight scowl engraving itself into her features.
"Good morning Anko-san. Is it early for you?" Mebuki spoke to the mother of her new boss. She had tried to use a monotonous voice, but the humor she was experiencing was trickling into her voice.
Anko grunted once more, nodding slowly and taking in Mebuki's appearance. She had to have been up for at least an hour, given how cleaned up she appeared to be, as well as how she didn't seem nearly as tired as Anko was.
"It's five-thirty in the morning, Mebuki. What do you want?" Anko was getting more and more aggressive and irritated with each passing moment, her tone shifting to a more hostile one to just annoyed.
Mebuki's eyes widened slightly. Had Naruto not told his mother that she'd be working for the Uzumaki family for a year? Was it just too early for her to remember? Maybe she just didn't expect Mebuki to be on the job so soon. "As per the agreements from last night's poker game, I am now Naruto's personal secretary for the year." She said to the younger woman. The look of confusion on Anko's face had told her that she was completely unaware of the arrangement. It was surprising considering that they played the poker game at the Rusty Kunai.
Anko was silent. She asked herself how both Tsume and her own son had not told her about Mebuki now working for the boy. Maybe it was a plot just to see what her reaction would be in this very scenario. Whatever the reason was, Anko stepped aside and motioned for Mebuki to come in.
As the older woman stepped in, she took in the living area around her. She had never been in the Uzumaki compound before, and it looked very much like its own thing. It was a mix of Konoha and Kiri stylings, but it was more than that. She knew the stories of Uzushiogakure. It was its own village and country, and obviously had its own style. Greys, blues, crimsons, they all mixed together in a way that made the Uzumaki clan look fearsome and stylish. The house was unlike any architecture she had personally seen before, and it was quite the spectacle.
While Mebuki was taking in the sights, Anko took the time to meander over towards the couch and flop down ungracefully. The sound she had created managed to snap Mebuki out of her trance and look over at the snake mistress.
Neither said anything to the other, and Mebuki could only watch as Anko fell back asleep. She wasn't dealing with all of this so early in the morning.
Mebuki took several minutes to contemplate what next to do. She couldn't wander around the compound; people would mistake her for an intruder. She'd just have to wait out in the living room until someone else entered.
Her eyes wandered around the room and the kitchen connected to it. Slowly, she wandered in the direction of the fridge. While she was there, she might as well make breakfast. Tsunade and Shizune probably wouldn't have much time to prepare a meal, and from what she had gathered, Kurenai and Ibiki would be coming over soon. They had lived in the Uzumaki compound for some time before moving out, and soon after into the empty apartments within the compound's small clan district. Their visits to the main compound were often, and the two were treated as if they still lived there in the main building.
It was nothing big or fancy, but Mebuki prepared a simple meal consisting of fish, rice, and an omelet with cheese, mushrooms, and spinach. Shizune must have stocked the kitchen, considering that Naruto didn't eat all that healthily if he could help it, Anko was more or less the same way, and Tsunade was far too busy to completely restock a kitchen herself.
It didn't take long for the enticing smell of food to wander around the house, garnering the attention of one should-be-sleeping young boy.
Mebuki could hear the footsteps from where she was. He was a loud kid after all. Even he was still susceptible to things such as being noisy and unable to contain his energy.
"Good morning, Naruto. I assume the food woke you up?" Mebuki asked, her gaze shifting to Naruto for but a moment before returning to the food. She had to make sure that nothing was burned, after all.
Naruto nodded with a sleepy smile. He seemed to have been taking Mebuki's sudden appearance rather well, as he had yet to show any sort of surprise. Ironically, Mebuki was the one to show visible surprise. Her surprise was further elevated as Naruto dragged his feet towards the couch with his mother and lay down next to her
Her gaze turned briefly toward Naruto, her widened eyes and somewhat vacant expression showing her thoughts. "Not that it isn't appreciated, but I did expect a more... vocal greeting this morning."
He still said nothing, his already half-lidded eyes struggling to stay open even that much. The most he could get out was a meek yawn.
Mebuki smiled. Maybe it wouldn't be all that bad...
Soon after, the others of the compound began to stir awake. Everyone met and greeted Mebuki, surprise being the most common emotion being shown at the time. After everyone had gathered together, Mebuki explained the situation to them all. Naruto assisted as well, confirming the story and even providing Tsume as another witness to the deal.
After the shock had worn off, everyone went their separate ways for the day, Mebuki deciding to stay at the compound to help and organize anything and everything.
Noon quickly arrived for Kurenai, Anko, and Yugana. After meeting Mebuki and eating breakfast, the three decided to spend the day about the town, which eventually led them to the hot springs. If it weren't for the unwavering objections by Yugana and Kurenai and the fact that he was at school, Anko would have brought Naruto with them for whatever reason she had in mind. Certainly it wasn't a humorless idea, but the two stood their ground.
Joke after joke, the three eventually settled on calling their time together 'sister time', which seemed to be some sort of inside joke between the three of them.
The trio sat and relaxed in the hot springs, Kurenai a comfortable distance away from Anko and Yugana. Kurenai, who had been relatively quiet, was found reading a small, thick, unmarked book. The book was strangely close to her face, as if she wouldn't allow anyone to read it over her shoulder.
Of course, Anko knew quite well what that book was, but said nothing about it.
For some time now, Kurenai had been leading a group of women in Konoha that fought against perversion; not to mention the perverts themselves. This would include such people and things like Jiraiya and his Icha Icha collection of books.
However, Anko knew her hypocritical secret.
Coincidentally, Anko had what was considered one of the largest collection of Icha Icha and other similar material in the Elemental Nations hidden somewhere in the compound.
The two had what could be called a truce when it came to the situations regarding the material. Kurenai would not badger Anko about her collection, and Anko would not expose her oh-so-horrible secret.
Yugana, however, was out of the loop regarding the truce, and thus was both free to attack the situation and quite unknowledgeable about it.
Without hesitation, Yugana bit her thumb before quickly submerging it in water. The action went unnoticed, as well as the snake that she had summoned.
The woman smirked to herself, her eyes focused on the book in Kurenai's hands.
In an instant, the snake shot out of the water, aiming for the book.
The book was thrown into the air due to Kurenai's surprise and shock. In that moment, Yugana disappeared from the water and reappeared on the ground with the book in her hands.
"Ha!" She laughed in victory, unaware of the glare being cast her way by Kurenai.
Kurenai would not stand for this. Yugana was walking into unknown territory, and if word happened to get out...
Word will not get out. Could not get out.
The enraged woman lunged out of the water to swipe the book away from Yugana, but she was, sadly, one step behind the twin.
Yugana spun around, being careful not to slip. Her eyes scanned the cover of the book, wondering what could possibly be so interesting that it would pull Kurenai away from her sisterly bonding time with her and Anko.
"Don't you dare open that book!" Kurenai warned her, her hands joined together for the worst case scenario.
Anko only watched. If she really wanted to, she could jump in and pick a side, but that was much more than what she was willing to do at this point in time.
Yugana smiled, a single finger sliding between the pages of the book and prying it open. Before she opened it, she took a look at Kurenai. She wanted to see the expression on her face when she saw whatever it was that she wasn't supposed to see.
However, Kurenai believed that she had the upper hand now, and simply stood there.
Yugana was surprised.
She was truly surprised.
None of this book made any sense!
It was nothing but strange symbols and what seemed to be mathematic equations. What could such a book offer to Kurenai to get her to act in such a defensive way?
Anko's lazy gaze wandered towards her twin, eyeing her up before asking the obvious question. "Well? Was it your hopes and dreams and so much more?" She smiled to herself, believing that she was the only one to comprehend her bad joke.
"I..." Her voice faded fast. It wasn't at all what she had expected. Her head hung low, both of her arms falling down to her sides. She had expected some juicy secret of some sort, and was truly underwhelmed.
Kurenai smirked. "Just put the book down for now, and let's enjoy the rest of our time here." It seemed that her plan was working perfectly, and if Yugana did what she asked, Kurenai would have gotten away with it scot-free.
And that she did, Yugana set the book down on the ground and sunk back into the water. While she was doing so, she could not hear whatever Kurenai had muttered under her breath. The air around them shifted, but only slightly. It wasn't enough to cause any of them distress.
A short distance away, a single man sat by himself, peering into the hot springs. Usually this type of espionage was for pleasure, motivation, and inspiration, but it was different this time around.
"So this is what I've been hearing about..." He whispered to himself, his eyes focusing on the anomaly in the situation.
She was real, he knew that much. He wanted to know how.
Physically, they were almost the exact same. The same glorious bodies, same purple hair. The difference was a single mark, or lack thereof.
But it wasn't time to make his entrance. The kid still had a few years of growing until he would be considered 'ready'.
Without a sound, the man vanished.
The trio of woman had not noticed the man as he appeared or vanished. For all they knew, they were the only ones at the hot spring at the time.
Yugana just couldn't comprehend it. Why did Kurenai have such a strange book? What was the purpose of it, and what did all of the symbols mean?
Anko could not keep her smirk to herself. She knew what Kurenai was up to, and while she could stand for it, it was as much fun as watching paint dry.
"Hey, Yugana," Anko tossed her words around casually. "Why don't you take another look at the book? It's a little weird, but I'm sure another look will change your thoughts."
Kurenai froze. She was so close. No, she had it. She was going to walk away from this day without anyone discovering the true contents of one of her favorite books.
She chuckled nervously. "No, no you don't!" She tried to keep her focus off the book. "You already put your paws on it and saw my book, no more reason to!"
Yugana looked at Kurenai, her gaze slowly shifting into a pensive stare. "You know what..." the words trailed off her lips just as slowly as she rose from the water once more. "I think I will take another look!"
The book returned to Kurenai's hands, the woman unwilling to allow Yugana to see it. While the initial surprise had run its course, Yugana's look soon shifted to a more predatory one.
"I love hard to get..." The words trickled off her lips with a lust for chaos. She had indeed been hoping that she could chase someone around, and now it was fully possible. The mere prospect of a chase was amusing to her, not to mention fun in her strange way.
The two leaped out of the water, both sprinting around the water that Anko continued to relax in. It was a hoot and a half for her. She loved seeing Kurenai squirm, and watching what was essentially herself chase after her, was more so. She could just as easily tell Yugana what the book was, which would shatter Kurenai's pristine picture, as well as give her twin closure on the subject, but it wasn't nearly as much fun.
The time quickly passed, and Yugana was still no closer to her goal. It had been more than an hour for the three of them. Kurenai was forced to use two different genjutsu on Yugana to stop her, but they didn't last much more than a few minutes. Yugana had her snakes, whom assisted her greatly in the chase.
What had started for Anko as good fun soon became mass hilarity. Kurenai and Yugana had long since left the immediate area, both of them forgetting completely one key component. Anko had tried to tell them, but broke out laughing after every attempt. It was too much, even for her, and the woman eventually decided to just relax once more while they were still there.
Much attention had been drawn to the duo running about the streets of Konoha, men, women, and children, all averting their eyes from what could loosely be called a 'spectacle'. Nobody had noticed the snakes or the book, and were focused instead on other...attributes.
To the runners, the world was a blur. All Yugana could think about was getting her hands on the book, and all Kurenai could think about was keeping it away from her.
Time stopped with a single move. Yugana and Kurenai stopped on a dime, their ears being held tightly and simultaneously being threatened to be torn off.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK THE TWO OF YOU IDIOTS ARE DOING!?" The voice of authority shouted out to the both of them.
Tsunade stood her ground, an ear in both hands. She had no idea what they were doing, but it needed to end now before more people got a good look at the two of them.
"Book. Now!" Tsunade commanded. Her desire was quickly fulfilled as Kurenai handed the book to her with little hesitation and lots of fear.
The book was hidden away, and for a brief moment, two ears were spared. Not a moment after, Tsunade picked up the two fully grown women and carried them off back to the hot springs, one over each shoulder. The crowd had long since vanished when Tsunade had gotten involved.
The now trio returned to the hot springs in hopes of not being seen. When they were stopped, Yugana and Kurenai had finally taken notice of their appearances, and had become as red as tomatoes. The two said nothing about it, Kurenai being more embarrassed then Yugana.
Anko, who had continued to relax and stretch in the water, was surprised upon seeing Tsunade with the pair of delinquents who had run off. She had expected one of two outcomes, not an unknown third that made it all the more amusing.
The two delinquents were dropped without care back into the water. Tsunade had some choice words for them.
As they resurfaced, Yugana and Kurenai were filled with a sense of utter dread. They knew that they were up shits creek now, for their recent 'display'.
The book, the prize of the 'game', found its way back into Tsunade's hand. "Now then, let's see what this mess was all about, shall we?" A single finger pushed the book open. Tsunade could easily read the terror inscribed into Kurenai's features, and a part of her almost regretted opening the book.
Her pensive gaze and calm demeanor quickly flat lined as the familiar words and pictures were seen by her eyes. She didn't even need to read past the first sentence. She knew the book all too well, and gave Kurenai a blank stare. All of that fierce protesting was for naught, it seemed.
No words were spoken. Tsunade dropped the book onto the floor and walked out without another sound. She wasn't going to go through the trouble of scolding her; her embarrassment was enough...for now...
After Tsunade left, Anko quickly howled with laughter. "Oh Kurenai!" the words managed to escape her lips. "You're so boned!"
Kurenai only grunted at Anko's laughter, and was unable to see that Yugana had quietly and successfully taken the book. After a moment of reading, she too, broke out in unstoppable laughter.
The redness of Kurenai's face continued to increase in vibrancy. With little to say to defend herself, the red eyed woman sank into the water in defeat.
She didn't need special justu to see that this would not be forgotten any time soon.
To say that Naruto had an unproductive, and uneventful, day would be quite a lie. He, Kiba, Sasuke, Choji, and Shikamaru all grouped together to outsmart the teacher and question everything that he did and said. This proved to be interesting, as Renga was not a person to take lightly. He was a former jonin turned teacher, and quite a strict one at that. Many students got a laugh out of the day long display, and it seemed that the group was wearing down Renga's nerves, slowly, but surely. It wouldn't be too long before he injured one of the five, then the fireworks would explode when Anko found out.
He had walked home alone that day, Kiba, Sasuke, and the others all had stuff going on. Hana had to pick up Kiba for some clan business, and Itachi was able to spare some time for his little brother.
His eventful day would not stop at school.
Upon entering the main building of the compound, Naruto was greeted to the sight of Kurenai tied to a chair and Tsunade standing before her.
The older woman tapped her chin repeatedly, processing many thoughts before Naruto entered the room. Had it really been all day? Time sure did fly.
Naruto was wary of the situation, and thusly took small and cautious steps forward.
"Aunty Tsunade?" His words flowed from his mouth. "What's going on?"
Tsunade turned her head to look at the boy. With a smile, she beckoned him closer. "Ah, Naruto. Your timing is perfect." She watched as he moved closer. "Your godmother here has been keeping a little secret."
Blue eyes widened, focusing on his godmother who looked at him with despair. "A secret?" He echoed.
Tsunade nodded, her eyes wandering to the bound woman. "Should you be the one to tell him? Or shall I have the honor?"
Kurenai's bound mouth could say nothing, her head shaking violently at the prospect of little Naruto being told of such a thing.
"Oh? Did I hear a yes behind those binds?" Tsunade tossed her words carelessly. Feigning joy, a hand fell over her heart. "I'm so touched that I can be the one to tell him."
Kurenai had to do something. Surely Tsunade was only bluffing. Of course, Tsunade, as addicted to a gamble as she was, did not bluff. She would go through with it, surely.
With a burst of chakra, Kurenai was able to get one of her hands unbound, allowing her to rip the cloth off of her mouth. "No!" She shouted, her free arm reaching towards Naruto.
The smile on Tsunade's face warped into a twisted smirk. "Such a pity. I'm sure that he would have loved to hear how you read a certain someone's books despite leading a group against them and his kind."
In Tsunade's moment of strangely uncharacteristic sadistic joy, Kurenai escaped her bindings and ran off with Naruto in her arms.
Tsunade was not at all surprised by this. She believed in Kurenai's skills as a ninja, and had taken extra safety measures during the genjutsu mistress' brief moment of unconsciousness.
Kurenai was quick to move Naruto out of the compound. Like hell she was going to let Tsunade corrupt their shared godson with her secret!
However, the boy in Kurenai's arms was quick to notice something on Kurenai's back. He said nothing, and attempted to grab it. This only resulted in Kurenai trying harder to keep him still.
"Aunty Kurenai! Stay still!" Naruto called out.
Kurenai laughed. That was her line, but she relented without question.
Naruto dropped from her arms, walking around her and taking the item that was strapped to her back. It was a book of some sort. Completely unmarked other than the small hashes of orange strewn about.
When Kurenai looked to see what it was, she froze. In one swift motion, Kurenai took the book away from Naruto. Of course, Tsunade, Kurenai should have known. She wasn't dumb by any means; she was one of the Sannin!
Kurenai turned red before pocketing the book. "N-Naruto," She called to him sweetly. "Thank you, but we should really get goin-" She was cut off by loud, seemingly mindless screaming.
But she knew better.
It was Anko...
The snake mistress was hot on their trail, following them at high speed and was in full on 'Mother Bear' mode.
Kurenai, once again, picked up Naruto and began to run. Hopefully Anko didn't have the wrong idea about what was going on, but for the safety of Naruto and herself, she had to continue running.
Anko chased Kurenai relentlessly, the desire to get her child back and punish Kurenai at any cost was strong.
Just about everyone in the village could hear Anko's screams of rage. They had all learned to fear for whoever could be the target of such screams, but only a few knew what it truly was.
As the noise made its way to Hiruzen's ears, the old Hokage ducked under his desk and looked about frantically, remembering the last time those screams had been directed at him. He knew to fear that sound from his own experiences. Those were the screams of Maternal Rage. Hiruzen soon began to pray for mercy on whoever may have caused such rage.
His prayers were soon answered. Soon after his prayers, the window behind him shattered, revealing a huffing Kurenai carrying Naruto, and Anko, blinded by anger.
Hiruzen could not deal with this. The anger of a woman protecting her child was not something he wanted to be faced with again.
The two squared off, Naruto hopping out of Kurenai's grasp and running over to the desk Hiruzen was hiding behind.
Anko charged Kurenai, shoving her against a wall and holding a kunai to her throat.
"A-Anko!" She choked out. "It's not what you think, Tsunade bound me and threatened to reveal my secret to Naruto! I couldn't live with that!"
The kunai threatened to pierce Kurenai's skin, but Hiruzen was too busy developing impure thoughts at the moment to fully take notice.
After what had seemed to be a full minute of struggling, Anko quickly released her grip on Kurenai and took a step away from her.
"I know." Was the simple answer she supplied with a large smile. "Fifty more sticks of dango and I'll tell Tsunade that I was the one to tell Naruto about your hilarious secret."
Kurenai was almost cowering before hearing her second sentence. "Wait." She replied blandly. "Fifty more? Who gave you the first fifty?"
Anko soon had a smirk that was unrivaled. "Tsunade."
Kurenai gulped, but her mind was reeling with all the outcomes and reasons Anko could have.
"She told me to chase you around if you escaped, and offered to throw in some of my favorite treats if I did so."
Kurenai blinked before she realised what happened...setup! She sighed in defeat. She had to do what Anko said in order to protect Naruto, even for just a little longer.
Coughing, Hiruzen made himself known once again. "If you do not mind, what is this secret? I'm sure that nothing is so bothersome to go through all this trouble to keep Naruto from finding out.
"Oh?" Anko spoke to the Hokage. "Though not as big as mine, Kurenai has her own Icha Icha stas-" Kurenai froze and sighed in defeat.
Kurenai could not believe this. How could Anko just let something so important slip out like that?! Not only that, but she just told Naruto that she herself had a large Icha Icha collection stash!
Hiruzen was surprised. Of all people, he expected Kurenai to be the last person to have anything to do with the series, but after thinking about it, he began to understand a little.
Maybe Anko already knew about Kurenai's reasoning's, and it was too early for Naruto to know, so Hiruzen kept those thoughts to himself as the group forgave each other and walked away.
However, even though they had all forgiven one another. Kurenai was still on edge. As they walked back to the compound, Naruto looked up at the two adults with a question.
"So, what is that book, Kaa-san?" The little boy looked to his mother. He really did want to know what it was and why they were keeping it a big secret from him. He could see Kurenai straighten up and Anko hold back what was sure to be a howl of a laugh.
"N-Naruto." The words from Kurenai's mouth were careful and slow. "It isn't really something you should be reading." Inwardly, she sighed. She was supposed to be setting a good example for Naruto, and Tsunade, Anko, and Yugana were making it near impossible.
"You should know that book."
Anko smiled at her son and gave a smirk that dripped with deviousness to Kurenai. Naruto became silent soon after, contemplating what he had seen of the book, and what his mother had shown him in the past.
As if a light bulb flickered to life, Naruto smiled at Anko. "Is it that book you have a stash of? Ecchi Ecchi?"
Anko could not keep herself from laughing while Kurenai looked at her with utter disbelief. She also found it quite humorous how Naruto did get the name wrong, but still managed to get the point across.
"That's the one gaki!" The Snake Mistress laughed out. "And it's Icha Icha, but close!"
Kurenai could not believe this. After all she had just done, Naruto knew about the books already, and possibly their contents all along?
Anko would not allow her to talk. A finger raised in the air as she caught her breath. She needed to inform Kurenai of what exactly was going on before she popped a vein.
"If anyone's going to corrupt my son, Kurenai, it's going to be me." She spoke with a smile on her face. This of course did not help her situation, but Anko was well aware of that.
In a strange way, Kurenai was able to relax. She could now take a breath of relief and relish in the fact that Anko would be unwilling to corrupt her little boy. That was what she hoped, at least.
However, her peace did not last long.
If Anko was going to be the one to corrupt her son, Kurenai assured herself that the corruption would be in depth and thorough.
The trio returned home with little to say. Upon reaching the door, each of them could feel a powerful presence within the compound. It was a presence they had not encountered before.
With caution, Anko and Kurenai pulled out kunai. Anko had given one to Naruto since he did not wield his own yet, but nevertheless, all three were ready to fight.
A slender hand reached out to pull the door open. In the blink of an eye, the three moved in and surrounded whoever was inside their home.
Much to their surprise, Shizune, Ibiki, and Tsunade were accompanying the ever-stoic Itachi with a cup of tea.
Naruto was the first to put his weapon away, tucking the knife into a pocket for the time being.
"Itachi?" He wondered what his business at the Uzumaki compound was. "What are you doing here?"
Kurenai was quick to cover Naruto's mouth and chuckle nervously. He was still a boy, and obviously forgot about the deadly aura of power that Itachi radiated. Naruto's choice of words was too blunt for her taste, and tastefully apologized for her godson's behavior. "I'm so sorry about that, Itachi-san. He hasn't really learned to be formal."
Itachi simply shook his head. It was actually quite nice to be treated in such a casual manner. He was to be the next head of one of the most prestigious clans in Konoha, so everyone was either worshiping the ground he walked on or kissing his sandals. Truthfully, it disgusted him.
"Please, think nothing of it." His hand swayed casually. "I came here to talk to Anko, Tsunade, and Naruto-kun. Tsunade told me what had happened, and offered me some tea while I waited for your return."
Both Anko and Naruto smiled, leaving Kurenai by herself as a blushing mess. Now another person knew about her horrid secret. Hopefully it wouldn't get out of hand.
Hopefully…
Kurenai and Anko both lowered their respective guards and approached Itachi. Both wondered what he had to say to them, but neither one asked before he could begin speaking.
"If I can, I'd like to talk to just Tsunade, Anko, and Naruto." There was no malice or arrogance in his voice, but it was made obvious that he did not want Kurenai, Ibiki, and Shizune present. The three left without a word, but Itachi still remained silent.
He didn't need to see them or look at them. Itachi coughed twice and watched as Yugao and Kakashi appeared before him.
Since the two had been discharged from the ANBU black ops, Kakashi and Yugao worked as silent bodyguards for Naruto and his family. It had been arranged by both the Hokage and Anko, the latter being the one to suggest and pay for the idea. They dropped in every once and a while, but hardly had the need due to the fact that most of the family consisted of badasses.
With everyone gone, Tsunade, Anko, and Naruto took seats on the couch to talk to Itachi. None of them took the available tea, and watching as Itachi drank from the cup offered to him from earlier.
"My father doesn't trust any of you, I'm sure that you know that." Itachi stated, getting looks from the three. "Less so, compared to the other clans. As you know, the Uzumaki clan is very important to the history of Konoha, just like the Uchiha clan is."
Itachi had assured himself that Naruto was aware of just how strong his particular bloodline was. The Hokage had been sure to reincorporate the Uzumaki clan back into the history lessons of Konoha for all academy students. The name carried a bad pretense for the last eight years, but it was time for the new Shinobi to know who else was a big part of Konoha's founding. The people had the right to know the truth. History was written by winners. Truths are infused into the survivors.
He took a breath. What he was going to tell them would surely garner an unfavorable reaction, but it needed to be said.
"I'm going to murder the Uchiha clan."
The prank war of Konoha continued without any signs of stopping. If one faction ruled over another, then a third faction would be brought in somehow to continue the war. No one was even sure how it started anymore, but none of the many factions in Konoha really had the time to care. Danger was ever present, but the enjoyment from all of the bystanders was even more prevalent.
The teachers of the Academy had waged the war against the Anbu and Anbu Black Ops for three months now, stooping as low as asking the students they taught for help on defeating their masked enemies. Few things could unite the standard Anbu and their Black Operations counterparts together, and when it came to pranking the teachers that foolishly and sometimes inadequately taught shinobi-to-be. It was required. The Teachers time to plan and prank was considerably less than the Anbu's.
The only class with minimal input in the ongoing war was Kabe's. Mizuki had urged him to take a little time to relax and join in on the fun, but the mental teacher decided that it would be a training exercise. The students would be given tasks and pranks to be carried out, and depending on how well they went, and if they were successful, they would be given a certain amount of points. These points could be stockpiled into 'rewards' such as not having to partake in class events or assignments, or even getting one day out of school if enough of the points were raised. Students could join their points together, or cash in their rewards together without consequences. Kabe was making them act like Ninja, and it seemed to be the best way other than giving them actual money for their 'missions' in the prank war.
It gave Naruto and his friends some time to stretch their legs, as well as hone their skills by actually sneaking around and targeting people.
Sasuke was the best of the group. He was as fast and crafty as Naruto, and as powerful as Kiba, but also excelled in stealth. His two friends, while quiet at times, were both loudmouths and boasters. None of the three were arrogant, however. They both knew how lucky they were to be where they were now, and did not take that for granted. Like genin, Kabe's class was split into multiple three man cells. Sasuke, Ino, and Naruto were in a team, Sakura, Kiba, and Inago somehow evened out as a team, despite their conflicting personalities, and Shiamaru, Choji, and Shino were paired together as the only all-male team in the class. The teams were assembled using the data from where they were now in the academy, and were told that it was unlikely that the teams would stay together after becoming genin. Some of them may graduate early, or maybe even late.
Recently, Naruto had been, for lack of a better term, out of it. Since Itachi had arrived at the Uzumaki compound some days ago, Naruto had been sworn to secrecy about his plan.
The three that Itachi had come to talk to objected heavily about the decision, but could not deny that the points that he held were valid. He had even disclosed information regarding the Uchiha that only three other people outside of the Uchiha clan knew about.
Sasuke had taken notice of Naruto's strange behavior rather quickly, but had refused to say anything about it in the event that it was just a little slump. However, it did not seem to be the case. Like many best friends, he knew when his friends were either just in a slump, or actually suffering, and could see the line that divided the two where and when others wouldn't. If Naruto had his rear end handed to him in a spar, that was one thing. This was unlike that.
Another day of school was over, and the Kabe's students were left to carry out their tasks. Despite Naruto's change in behavior, they had been rather well caught up on their missions. Team UzuInoUchi, as named by both Naruto and Ino, had taken the vague mission of pranking the headquarters itself.
When Kabe handed out vague missions like the current one Naruto and his friends were on, it was a sign that they sky was the limit for their pranks. As long as the goal was achieved, they could do whatever they pleased to achieve it.
The mission had been on the board for a month. Naruto had specifically asked for their teacher to hold onto the mission until he could correctly devise a plan for it, and Naruto was finally ready.
The team rushed out of the academy with haste. Naruto's plan, which had been rehearsed for a week during their free time, was going to come to fruition. It was even more helpful that Kakashi and Yugao gave them a layout of the headquarters since they were no longer affiliated with the ANBU nor the Black Ops. Many would consider it treason, but they were now dedicated to protecting and assisting Naruto; so it was their duty to do so.
All three of them knew the location of the ANBU headquarters, as disclosed by Naruto's two former ANBU friends. It was a building that looked exactly like all others, but was strategically placed to be the shortest distance away from other important buildings like the Hokage's tower, weapons shops, tactical clothing shops, and other similar stores. It was incredibly easy to miss to even a trained eye.
The closer they got, the more that Sasuke and Ino worried for their friend. Even Kiba was aware of Naruto's slump. His notable actions in the last few months had been a testament to just how out of the loop he was, and how much attention was accidentally brought onto him.
At first, Kiba had told himself that it was nothing. Like Sasuke, he first believed it to be just a phase. However, as the time passed, Tsume and Hana urged Kiba to keep track of his friend, as Raz had been acting strange as well.
Both Sasuke and Ino were wary of going on the mission with Naruto, their front man of the mission, in the incorrect state of mind. They could only hope that he could focus on such a calculated plan. Ino had tried to help her crush directly, but eventually settled on being moral support if Naruto ever needed her. Their parents told them that Naruto would tell them what was going on if it was that bad of a problem.
When they had stopped at the headquarters, Sasuke stood before the team and looked at what he considered to be another brother, in spirit at least.
"You're sure you can do this? If we mess up and you're responsible, I can't defend you." Sasuke looked at Naruto with an intense stare. They all knew it was just a prank, but Kabe had told them specifically that they were to treat these missions like real life or death missions, and not slack off just because the punishment wasn't death, or capture and torture.
Naruto nodded in response. "I'll be fine." He said to Sasuke. His eyes flickered to Ino, who also showed signs of worry for her fellow blonde, but both of them had to trust Naruto's judgement and go along with the plan.
Sasuke joined his hands together and transformed into Kakashi. He had spent a good week mirroring and shadowing the former agent, in order to get the appearance and quirks just right. When it came to Jutsu, Sasuke was currently the best. Ino, while she was learning, did not take her training home with her, at least not always, and instead spent most of her time making sure that she was perfect for Naruto. Naruto's chakra pathways were always flocculating due to the fact that he had two sets of chakra, one of which he could not control yet. However, he made up for it in taijutsu. With blinding speeds and quick reflexes, he could escape in a pinch.
Sasuke, who knew the layout of the building, walked around to the side and pushed against what seemed to be just a wall. A door opened in its place, and Sasuke walked in. Saying nothing, he closed the door behind him and stepped inside.
Now Naruto and Ino would wait. It wasn't their time to strike or move yet.
Meanwhile, Sasuke took a look at the Anbu headquarters. Surprisingly, it looked like a regular office of sorts. Everyone had their little desks and cubicles, with information and missions and what not, as well as a personal locker in the divided locker rooms. Other than the items in the space, each desk could be identified by a kanji of the animal mask that they wore. Kakashi and Yugao still had desks in the building, though it was never explained to anyone why they would still be there.
Regardless, Sasuke walked through the building without a word, and sat down at Kakashi's desk. His feet propped up on the top of the desk and his hand reached for a book that had the cover of Icha Icha paradise. It wasn't the real book, of course, but just the cover placed over another book.
A few unmasked ANBU had passed by Sasuke, saying nothing to him as Kakashi just sort of appeared when he pleased, and sometimes came to talk to the other ANBU.
After about fifteen minutes, Sasuke sighed and took his feet off the desk. "Phew, it's hot in here." He spoke casually, pretending to wipe a bead of sweat off of his face. He looked around at the other ANBU. "Anyone else?"
A few of the agents nodded in agreement, and Sasuke left to go open a window.
As he walked through the building, Sasuke continued to keep his composure. It was fortunate that Naruto wasn't the one to sneak into the building, as the mission would have failed almost instantly.
In each of the locker rooms was a single window. By use of genjutsu, nothing could be seen looking in, but the ANBU could see looking out. This allowed for them to open the windows as they pleased, as well as open the windows to let out steam and heat.
Opening the window in the men's locker room was no problem, but Sasuke was stopped just before he could get into the other room.
"Where do you think you're going, Kakashi?" A voice spoke to him as the collar of his vest was pulled backwards.
Sasuke flinched. He needed to be careful, or the henge would dissipate. "Back to my desk, for some reading time." he responded carefully. As he turned around, he could see the mask of Dragon, one of the best Black Ops agents the ANBU had to offer right now.
Dragon let go of Sasuke's collar and walked away, only leaving a simple "Good..." in his place.
Sasuke sighed and moved quickly to open the other door. If only Ino was experienced enough and calm enough to transform into Yugao to open the other window. But finally, it was open. Both of the windows were opened, and Sasuke sat back down in Kakashi's seat.
Outside, Naruto and Ino waited for the windows to open. As soon as they did, the two sneacked into the locker rooms and began the prank.
Just like the desks, each of the locker rooms were labeled with kanji, and both the ANBU and the Black Ops agents had their own lockers. Neither Ino nor Naruto could find Dragon's locker, and simply left their mark on each and every locker, rather than just the marked ones.
Tomorrow and all following days would surely be interesting...
Out of the Frying Pan and into the Fire.
It was a motto that Anko used to describe her training with Naruto. After he had finished learning something, she would almost instantly put his new-found skills to the test in some profound way, shape, or form.
Sometimes she would wake him up at the crack of dawn and pretend to be an intruder, other times, Naruto would find himself waking up in one of the training grounds, littered with traps and bombs concocted by Anko. Other times, he was given missions, similar to the ones that Kabe gave him. Most of the mission's targets were easy to tag and escape from.
But only one was able to catch him, however briefly it was.
It was the ultimate challenge. Drop in, place the tag, get out, and lay low for the weekend. Naruto knew it was a high priority target right away when the need to lay low was a part of the plan.
It was not the first time Naruto had used this particular plan. The first part of the mission was simple enough. As was expected of him, he found his target walking through the streets of Konoha alone. It was something he didn't expect, but it did help him quite a bit to see that she wasn't traveling with her partner.
Naruto appeared at the other side of the street, walking down casually and taking a glance at the shops as to not seem suspicious. When his target came near, Naruto purposefully looked away and bumped into his target. The two of them fell, and in that instant, when his target hit the ground, Naruto carefully placed the tag on her back.
"Hey!" His target called out. She growled lowly, but stopped when she recognized him as Naruto. "Sorry about that." She was much calmer, and her temper went away almost instantly. "Be careful next time, Pup. The Future Hokage needs to know where he's walking, right?" She let out a laugh as she stood up. A hand of hers reached out to help Naruto up as well, and the hand was accepted.
With little else to say, the two departed ways, Naruto's target completely unaware of the tag placed on her back.
Like all of the other tags Naruto placed on people, this tag was created by Anko. Each tag was made specifically for each individual person. Many of the jokes on the tags went over Naruto's head, but he didn't really care. It was about the joke and the effect it had. Someone has a mysterious tag placed on their back? Everyone is acting strangely around them? Oh, such a trickster the person leading the operation must be!
Now all Naruto had to do now was lay low for two days until he got the signal from Anko to return home.
For Tsume Inuzuka, the day had gone fairly well. Her daughter had spent most of her day training with her team, and Kiba seemed to have not gotten in trouble that day in school...for once. It was a good Friday, and she couldn't wait for the weekend.
She had just gotten back from a week-long mission as well, and really needed the rest. However, there were still things that she had to do, and her R&R would have to wait.
Kuromaru had been through the ringer on the missions. It was nothing he couldn't handle, but the opponent refused to accept his defeat. Kuromaru was put on the spot quite a few times, and needed some rest. Because of this, he stayed back at the compound rather than running Tsume's errands with her.
It was also something to note that Raz's condition was slowly improving. She had gotten into a slump when Naruto had, but it seemed that they were both working through it as time passed.
It all seemed to change after her brief run-in with Naruto.
After she bumped into him and they parted ways, people seemed to be acting strangely around her. The lechers seemed to actually have the balls to speak up to her, even go as far as offering her treats and promises of a good time! They were never this active, she made sure of it. She didn't want another man in her life after what happened with Hana and Kiba's father. Needless to say, the hospital was busy that day.
When Tsume finally returned home with everything she needed, the Inuzuka clansmen even seemed to act strangely around her. They weren't lecherous or anything, but just seemed to act as if Tsume had the plague, or something similar.
Tsume found Hana playing with her pups in her room, laughing and smiling as she tried to get them to hold Kunai that were as big as them in their mouths. It was rather funny, and Tsume decided to stop by her daughter's room for a quick chat.
"Having fun, Hana?" Tsume smiled at her daughter. "I think they need a little more time to grow before they can use weapons."
Hana smiled at her mother and removed the Kunai from Nimaru's mouth. "I know, but it's cute and funny to see them with Kunai in their little mouths!"
Tsume couldn't disagree with her daughter, and paused. Maybe she would know what was up with the village today.
"Say, Hana." She started. "Everyone's been acting strange today, any idea why?" She wasn't going to go into the details for her daughter's sake, and told her only what she needed to know.
Hana stopped to think and shook her head soon after. "No, Kaa-san. No idea. People have been pretty normal from what I've seen."
Tsume sighed and stepped out of her Daughter's room. "Well, take care. I guess I'll have to ask around."
With that, she left, and returned to her office, where Kuromaru was laying down.
The aged dog perked his head up at Tsume's arrival, looking around and even standing up to walk around.
The sight was strange for Tsume. What was he looking for?
After about a minute, Tsume finally spoke up from her chair before her desk. "Um, looking for anything in particular?"
Kuromaru stopped searching and looked at Tsume. "Is he here? I can smell him."
Tsume had no idea what he was talking about, and simply let him do what he pleased.
After a minute of relentless searching, Kuromaru slinked to Tsume and sniffed her. "You smell like the Uzumaki pup. Did he did give you something?"
Tsume, initially confused, looked around and on her jacket. It wasn't until she removed it and looked at the tag on the back that her body was filled to the brim with simmering rage.
That was why they had been acting so strange around her! Naruto stuck that perverted tag on her back when they crossed paths!
She was going to find him, and make him pay!
Tsume vanished without a trace. Kuromaru could have his rest. She didn't need him to find one naughty little kid.
Naruto was on the run. He knew that any minute, Tsume was going to find that tag, and she wasn't going to just huff and let bygones be bygones. He was a kid, but if he was going to play with the big dogs, then he sure better be able to handle a bite or two.
He couldn't stay at any of his regular places. Tsume was an expert tracker, and could probably smell his tracks as easily as she could follow a trail of paint. He had to keep moving. For how long, he didn't know. Maybe Tsume would just wait at his house and stay there until he got back. He knew Anko would let her stay over for a few days. She knew where he lived, where he was obligated to go to five out of seven days of the week, as well as all of his friends. Her finding him was just an eventuality if he wasn't careful.
One place came to mind for a place to hide, though it was currently the last place he wanted to be. All of their faces would remind him how they would all be killed rather soon, save for an extremely small number of people. He felt horrible because he swore not to tell anyone what Itachi had in store, but by telling them, he could be saving people. However, not telling anyone would also result in the saving of many people. Different people, but still people nonetheless. He had the burden of knowing exactly how and when a large number of people were going to die, and he couldn't tell a soul.
He hated it, but it was his only chance of getting out of this mostly scot-free. He took the next closest corner and continued to run through the clan district of the village.
In only a short time, he reached the door of the only home he could be sure he would find solace in. Knocking slowly, he waited for someone to go to the door.
It had been several minutes before someone finally opened the door, and it was unfortunately the last person that he wanted to see.
"Naruto-kun, what are you doing here?" Those dull black eyes looked at Naruto in curiosity. He easily towered over Naruto, but didn't seem to give off a threatening vibe.
And that was what scared Naruto most.
"I need to hide for a little bit, until it gets dark." Naruto was quick to look around, making sure that she wasn't already on his tail.
Itachi couldn't help but knit his eye brows in worry. "Naruto-kun, are you alright? Why are you hiding, and from whom?"
Naruto had no choice but to give Itachi the rundown of the situation. If he was going to get help, he needed to tell him what was going on.
Itachi told him that he couldn't hide in the compound, but he was free to hide in the ANBU headquarters. He was well aware of the fact that he had snuck in, despite not checking in on that day. He smiled upon seeing the embarrassed red hue that took over Naruto's face, and directed him over to the headquarters. There were showers there, and it was close enough to shops that he should be able to stay there for a few days at the very least.
Naruto did as he was told, and rushed to the ANBU hideout to lay low. It had worked, fortunately.
Kakashi and Yugao granted Naruto permission to enter the headquarters, given that they themselves were the only two related to the ANBU that were not affected by Naruto's prank the week before. The ANBU were unable to trace the prank back to Naruto himself, so they would only stay wary about the boy's presence, as long as he didn't not cause any disturbances during his stay.
Twice a day, Naruto would leave the safety of the headquarters to get food and other things from the nearby shops. Even if it was just for two days, Naruto made sure that he acted in irregular patterns. He wouldn't leave at the same time each day, just to make sure that Tsume wasn't waiting for him. He also made sure to wash with feminine soap, a trick that he had learned from his mother, who used men's soap and various other scents to keep trackers off of her. Clearly, he did not care about manly or girly soap, as soap was soap, just as his mother had taught him. It helped him in his mission, and that was the end of it.
During the day, he would work out a little, making sure that he didn't make too much of a stink. He also kept his tracks covered, putting all his waste into a trash bag and asking for one of the Anbu to turn the bag and its contents into ashes, which would then be sent down the drain in the changing room to get rid of his traces.
It was finally Sunday, and two nights had passed. It wasn't comfortable, but he slept in one of the empty lockers during the nights to avoid detection. It was opened ever so slightly so that the lock wouldn't engage. He needed to get out, of course. Sleeping alone was nothing new to the boy. After spending so many nights by himself before Anko found him, sleeping by himself in who knows where was a regular thing for him, though he did miss his mother's warm embrace, from when he would run to her to chase away the nightmares he still had.
With the Sunday sun rising and drowning the room in an orange shade, Naruto awoke and looked around. His clothes needed to be washed badly, and he needed to get a proper meal before he headed back. All of that would need to be taken care of with haste in order to get home as soon as possible.
Using the one-way windows, Naruto peered outside for any sign of Tsume. Perhaps she had given up chasing after him? He did not know, but he would soon find out. He rushed out of the building through the window, dropping to the ground and breaking into a sprint. Before he could reach his maximum speed, Naruto almost choked from someone grabbing the back of the collar on his jumpsuit.
She hadn't given up.
Naruto was quickly spun around to look into the leering eyes of one Tsume Inuzuka. There was only the ghost of a smirk on her face, but it only made her more intimidating to the boy being held up by a single hand.
"Hey pup..." She tossed her words around casually, as if he hadn't stuck a horrible and lecherous note on her back two days ago. "Where 'ya been?" Her tone became more and more aggressive with every word, but death still seemed somewhat unlikely.
He said nothing. His eyes flickering about as he desperately tried to look for a way out of this hairy situation. It was obvious that she knew where he had been, and she was just waiting for him to admit it.
Tsume did not put him down, and carried him off and away from the ANBU headquarters. He did not know their destination, but he had a couple ideas.
He could only hang there in her grip and watch as Tsume carried him through the clan district, neither of them exchanging any words. She would simply let the atmosphere speak for her, and it seemed to be working well on the startled and scared Naruto.
Naruto could see the Inuzuka compound getting closer, as the two of them moved along, but that didn't seem to be where Tsume was headed. Her trajectory was off, and it took him a moment to realize that they were walking to the Uzumaki compound through the path through the woods.
He was confused. He didn't know why they were heading to his own home rather than hers, but he was too afraid at the moment to ask her.
The entire walk home was spent in silence. Just when Naruto thought the mood would change, even slightly when they approached the gate, the gate opened on its own. Naruto was not needed to open the door it seemed, and he was beginning to get suspicious.
The main door even opened to Tsume, who continued to carry Naruto with a single arm. She walked inside and set Naruto down.
In an unexpected turn of events, she smiled at him.
His fear increased tenfold, as well as his confusion. Only Anko smiled in such a situation, and she was the scariest person that he knew. No matter how much Naruto loved his mother, even he knew she could be scary.
She only smiled more, ruffling his hair before snapping her fingers. In an instant, Kuromaru stood beside the clan head.
Even Mebuki was out somewhere. Nobody was to be found in the entire compound. Only Tsume, Kuromaru and Naruto were in the area.
"Good job, pup." She congratulated him. "You'll be a fine ninja someday."
Mustering all of the brain power available to the nine year old boy, Naruto was able to perfectly word the inner turmoil that had been caused the moment that Tsume had found him exiting the ANBU base almost a half an hour ago. She had spoken to him only once before just now, and he could not understand her sincere words and kind demeanor.
"Huh?"
She laughed. It wasn't a howl of laughter, but a mere chuckle.
"I have to give credit where it's due." Her voice settled and her face relaxed. "You had me for a day. I had to cheat just to find you."
Once again, with the full brain power being focused into a single "Huh?", he did not understand what Tsume was talking about.
"Your panther, pup." Was her calm reply. "You had me stumped Friday, but yesterday I used your panther to find you, it was just a matter of waiting until you left the building. You had to leave tomorrow or today since you have school, and today was my lucky day." She explained.
Anko then decided to step out of the shadows, revealing herself to Naruto and Tsume.
"Congrats, Gaki." Anko smiled at her son with pride. "You handled that pretty well."
Tsume patted his head once again, a small chuckle expecting her lips as her eyes focused on Anko. "You know, you could have not used such a vulgar sign on my back. It was unnecessary."
Anko shook her head. "Go big or go home." She said to the older woman. "I needed to give you just the right motivation to chase the boy, and I knew that sign would set you off." She laughed as Tsume grunted, but they both knew that the full effect wouldn't have been there had Anko given Naruto a different tag to place on Tsume.
The more they talked, the more Naruto began to see that Tsume was in on the entire operation. She knew that Naruto was the one behind placing the tags on women, mostly, and she knew that it was going to continue happening. Naruto, however, did not see this revelation coming. He did not foresee Tsume being a part of the planning of his training missions, but he was not going to complain with such a skilled ninja managing his operations.
Hidden in the shadow, a pair of soft brown eyes watched the three. The eyes focused on a purple and red head of hair before fading back into the darkness.
"Anyways." Anko brought Naruto's attention back into the real world, his blue eyes looking into her own, heterochromatic ones. Despite so much hardship, his eyes were filled with innocence and naiveté. Her outcome facing similar situations was much worse. She was gruff, hardened from the cold world. She hoped she didn't have to see the day when his eyes matched hers. "Your next target is already selected, and it'll be your hardest one yet."
The name that she spoke shocked both Tsume and Naruto, but the mission was accepted none the less.
Omake 2: Arms Day
Weeks had passed since Naruto spent a weekend outside of the compound, and the boy had been waiting for this day for what seemed like eons. The Hokage had sent Anko, Kurenai, Yugana, and Shizune out on an important mission together, leaving the house to Naruto, Ibiki, Tsunade, and Mebuki while they were gone.
Waking up that morning, Naruto was quick to get to work. He jumped off of his bed and pulled out a drawer from underneath, grabbing a specific set of tools and items that he had prepared specifically for this day. His mother was always sending him on prank missions, and he was going to show her that he was top dog by pranking her!
With his tools in a satchel, Naruto closed the drawer and walked out of the room. His steps were quiet, careful. Even with Anko out of the house, he needed to be as careful as ever. Anko would surely see his regular traps even with just a glance. His new tools and pranks were custom and designed to remain unseen by even the keenest of eyes. He had to use a hefty sum of his allowance to get everything that he needed, and he knew that it would pay off beautifully.
He stepped into the living room without his shoes on, his gloved hands reaching out to the door to open it. As it slid open, Naruto placed the satchel down on the ground and opened it up. The bag was filled with pre-written scrolls, ninja wire, his various assortments of proximity mines and seals, including, but not limited to, stink bombs, smoke bombs, fake bombs, decoys, and many others.
He began to remove each tool carefully, placing them down on the ground in a specific order as to when he was going to use them and where.
"What are you up to?"
Naruto jumped in surprised. He heard the voice coming from behind him, but he didn't see anyone there on his way to the door. Turning slowly, he could see Mebuki with a hand on her hip and her eyes asking for answers. She was always at the compound at a set time every morning, cooking for everyone taking care of the main building, or just making sure that Naruto was doing well in school and completing his homework.
"N-nothing!" Naruto, for but only a split second, tried to hide his work from his secretary before stopping and realizing that there was something else that he could do. "Wait..." He drew out carefully. "What was the deal that we made at the game?"
Mebuki could plainly see that Naruto was working on a prank of some sort, but why and for whom, she was not sure. She was caught off guard by his question though, and it was something that he had never asked her before. It made her glad that he didn't press on the fact that he beat her in a game of poker and made herself his servant, but she wondered why he chose now to ask about it.
"The terms of the agreement were that I am to serve you for a whole..." She stopped herself, her eyes narrowing as her other hand rested on her hip. Her head shook defiantly as she knew what the growing grin would ask of her. "I must ask that you don't mix me into this mess, Naruto-san."
Naruto's grin widened. "Too late!" He laughed. "You and I are going to have some secretary and boss bonding time! With pranks!" He continued to laugh to himself, despite Mebuki finding none of it funny.
She only sighed, knowing that she had to go along with whatever plan he had formed. A bet was a bet, and she had to see it through to the end.
Naruto tossed Mebuki a pair of scrolls with ninja wire leading back to something in Naruto's possession. She couldn't see what it was, but was able to see Naruto pointing to two spots on the ceiling several feet away.
"Go stick those up there." He said to her. "They'll stick right to the ceiling when they touch it, so no need for glue or to tape to anything." As she did so, Naruto slipping a slip of paper underneath the carpet in front of the door, attaching two specific wires to it before tucking it in neatly.
He then followed the four wires back to a small piece of paper with an incomplete seal, and pulled out a brush and ink. He then wrote in the rest of the seal, and applied blood and chakra to it before jumping up with all his might and slapping it onto the ceiling. In a moment, it disappeared into the ceiling, and the wires were unable to be seen.
Mebuki watched with curiosity as Naruto worked. He was quite a smart boy, much better than her first thoughts of him, even so much so because she had no idea what this was supposed to accomplish.
Naruto then counted his steps from the carpet sideways from each side, placing another scroll on one side and telling Mebuki to place the other on the exact opposite side, the exact distance being the key for the prank to work correctly.
Naruto waited for approximately twenty seconds before turning and walking towards the couches. Naruto wasn't going to use everything in his arsenal, but he wasn't going to go easy on his mother. She'd be ready at the drop of a coin, so he had to be faster than that.
He placed a larger piece of paper on the middle of the living room, placing it upside down so that the seal would be facing downward, and stringing ninja wire vertically, horizontally, and diagonally in a sporadic fashion. He knew the pattern behind the madness, and navigated out of it without any problems.
Naruto led Mebuki into the freshly stocked kitchen, the older woman following without any questions as she knew that Naruto would either tell her what to do or explain what his plan was.
Naruto opened the refrigerator and pointed to an item on the top shelf. "Can you get that for me?" He asked Mebuki.
Mebuki nodded and grabbed the glass. It contained a liquid of some sort, brown in color, and handed it to Naruto. She assumed that it was some sort of drink that would have something in it to keep Anko off guard. Maybe some sort of strong alcohol? The Uzumaki compound did house the nation's strongest whiskey distillery, after all, but the liquid was far too thick to be whiskey, unless it was mixed with something else to hide its appearance and scent.
She knew well, not by first hand, mind you, how strong the Uzumaki Whiskey was. Tsunade and Anko had both fallen to a coma by a single bottle before, and they seemed to have some of the highest tolerances to alcohol that she had ever seen. It wasn't a sleeping agent, she knew by the scent. She knew how to defend herself against lechers in the ninja world, and knowing what sleeping agents smelled like saved her life on many occasions.
However, Mebuki was more than surprised when Naruto took a sip from the glass, exhaling as he lowered it from his mouth. He said nothing to her, drinking it again.
"N-Naruto!" She practically shouted. "What is that?"
The glass was lowered again, and Naruto smiled at her. "Chocolate milk!"
Mebuki sighed so deeply she almost gave herself a headache from the lack of oxygen. He had unintentionally gotten her hopes up, scared her out of her mind, and then told her that it was but chocolate milk. How could she overthink something involving the world's craftiest boy?
After drinking from the glass, Naruto set the glass down on the counter and grabbed his tools, aiming for the dining room this time. He set up shop there, his tools on the table this time as he placed his stink bombs on Anko's chair, and small mechanisms near each of the doorways.
The mechanisms were an item that he had bought, and reacted to specific stimuli, such as smell. When they were triggered, they'd go off once until triggered again.
Mebuki stood still, unsure if she should be moving freely about with Naruto in such a focused state. When he moved out of the dining room, so did she, and the two moved to Anko's room, were Naruto began his zaniest prank yet.
It took work and skill, but Naruto managed to completely flip the room upside down. Nothing was normal in that room any more, and the little gifts that he had left when moving everything would make it impossible for her to not get caught.
The day was spent with Naruto and Mebuki setting up the house with carefully designed pranks, all of which had yet to be activated.
Because he was unaware of when his mother would be back, he needed a way to set everything up and have it wait until she returned. Nobody would be able to trigger the pranks, he'd be safe.
He used a special seal, similar to the seals that were used when he converted his mother into a true Uzumaki. The seals would be there, ready to strike, but would only act upon a specific command. In this case, that command was a specific amount of chakra that Naruto would let out to activate all of the traps. For now, they were there, waiting for his command.
Naruto smirked. The only ones that couldn't be activated were the strings on ninja wire. He had set those ones up because he knew his mom would be coming back soon.
Now all he could do was wait.
Hours later, Naruto paced about the house. People had yet to return, which was good, but his mother hadn't come back yet still. With this, he was both sad and excited. He jumped into the air with the thought of pranking Anko, using what power he could in that jump.
Unknowingly, he accidentally released chakra during the jump for joy.
Just then, the door opened to reveal Ibiki Morino. His large, bear-like form was almost losing its intimidating effect on Naruto, but the man still scared him at times.
Naruto stopped and smiled at Ibiki as he stepped into the house, his foot hitting the carpet with a soft thud.
Chink!
An eraser block appeared above Ibiki's head, and a set of dull throwing darts were being launched at him all at once. The look on Ibiki's face was stone still, and the lumbering man lunged to the side, away from the living room and the couches.
Naruto stopped smiling and instantly went to protect himself. After Mebuki finished helping him set up the traps, she went on to continue her day, and thus he had nobody to hide behind.
The stone cold eyes of Ibiki locked onto Naruto, filling the latter with dread.
Naruto raised his hands in defence, repeating the same six words over and over. "It was a prank far Anko!"
Ibiki seemed to have calmed down, but he didn't look any different in Naruto's eyes.
"How many others?" Ibiki asked stonily.
Naruto shrugged and sighed. "I don't know, they're all over the house..." The sorrow that was in his voice clearly heard. Even he knew what Ibiki was going to get at, and they needed to work at disabling the traps before someone else got involved.
But that was the problem.
They were all armed and ready to spring. In addition to that, Naruto made sure that they needed to be activated at least once before Anko could try and deactivate them.
That was the serious part pf the problem.
Without Mebuki, it was up to Naruto and Ibiki to disable everything.
Before anything could be achieved, however, Kurenai was seen walking towards them and the door.
"Kurenai, stop!" Ibiki shouted, watching how close her foot was to touching the carpet just in front of the door. "Do. Not. Touch that carpet."
Kurenai easily picked up on the tone that Ibiki was using. She then pushed herself forward and over the carpet, avoiding the traps.
"What's going on?" She asked the two of them.
Naruto chucked, stepping forward and taking the blame that was rightfully his. "I pranked the house for Kaa-san. Ibiki was going to help me turn off the pranks."
Kurenai nodded her head turning towards Ibiki. "I guess I'll help too. Where are we going first?"
Ibiki didn't respond. He only looked at Naruto, and purposefully made Kurenai look to the boy as well.
"The dining room." Naruto answered.
The three walked to the dining room, Naruto carefully looking out for any extra traps that he might have placed during his spur of the moment. Luckily, none were found on their little walk, and Kurenai investigated the room for the traps.
"I'll go work on this room, you two go and get others before someone else gets tr-"
"HELP!" A familiar cry could be heard in the living room, one that originated from Naruto's partner in crime.
Ibiki and Naruto rushed to the living room to see Mebuki stuck to the ceiling of the room by use of the large seal Naruto had placed earlier. The two men could only watch Mebuki's strained, yet calmed face.
"Please. Get me down." She was holding back her rage of the situation, that much could be heard from her voice.
Ibiki walked up the ceiling and freed Mebuki. As she fell, she clung to Ibiki, causing him to fall down to the ground with her. However, neither of them felt the impact, and watched with wide eyes as they were suspended in the air by numerous strings of ninja wire.
"Naruto..." Ibiki growled, but stopped upon hearing another cry for help.
With Naruto the only one free, he rushed back into the Dining room, only to be stopped at the door frame. He could see inside, and Kurenai could be seen pounding a thick sheet of glass with all of her might, but to no avail.
"Naruto!" She shouted her breath short and troubled. "Help! It smells... so bad!"
Naruto took many steps back. When the stink bomb activated underneath Anko's seat, the little machines would be triggered to produce a near unbreakable glass to keep the smell in.
From the corner of his eye, Naruto could see a head of long, blonde hair walking through the hallway and turning into another corridor. He waited with fear, wondering both who it was and what they were going to run into.
He then remembered that there were only two women in the house with blonde hair, and Mebuki was trapped with Ibiki,
Chink!
"NARUTO!"
Omake 3
Even in areas like the red light district of Konoha, there were places that nobody ever went to. For lack of a better term, the area was too feared to venture into alone. Shady people, dark people, despicable people and all other similar people gathered there. One will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
One day, movement and activity was discovered in one of these feared areas. Nobody knew what exactly transpired during whatever meeting took place, but many were sure that it had something to do with a certain resurfacing clan.
The clan had three seats in the council, and as such, the conspirators had three council contacts. The acclaimed and self-proclaimed hottest woman in the village, as well as her identical twin, were untouchable.
Every time something as small as a dust particle moved, the group would revise their plans. It was a beast - a thing, that needed to be put down so balance could be restored.
The day of reckoning would come soon enough...
Omake 4: One-upmanship
Even with the prank war being continued by the teachers and the ANBU, it wasn't the only existing rift between people in Konoha. The two largest fan bases for the two most popular young boys in the ninja academy were at it again.
It wasn't just Sakura and Sasuke's fans anymore that held hostility toward Ino. Even the girls in Naruto's fan base resented Ino to some extent. She had the best of both worlds, working with her crush, and the crush of her rival.
However, Ino was fair. She did not slander and berate Sasuke to his face and make fun of him around Sakura. She understood that Sasuke was good.
Naruto was just better.
With the Hokage taking a more serious position than he had in many years, there wasn't anything or anyone Sakura could ask her mother to go to or do in order to get Sasuke to change teams. The Hokage was once again the rightful leader of the village, and did not rely on the Council to do things for him anymore. Everything that happened, he'd know and react first. They were a board of advisors, not understudies waiting hopefully to get a chance to snag some power.
It wasn't like Mebuki would have changed Sasuke's team placement anyways, even if she did have the power. In the little excursions that Naruto's team went on, the team showed promise, especially Naruto and Sasuke as a duo. The two worked well together, and she could see no reason to disband the team. Her decision was further influenced by her being Naruto's secretary. He would surely have to know of something like that, and he would not be happy about it if it happened.
Because of this, Sakura needed to find additional ways to divide the team that consisted of her Prince of the Moon, and Ino's Prince of the Sun. Each of them had developed more and more pet names for the objects of their affection, and even making new names for them as a competition.
Even Hana was aware of the war going on. A few of the girls that she knew had occasionally given a remark about Naruto and Sasuke being cute kids, and through friends and families of friends who were a part of the fan bases, Hana caught wind of the hilarious and various nicknames.
More often than not, Naruto and Sasuke had to turn down the girls and their requests for personal time. Anko's training schedule for the two was rigorous, and they only had so much time to slack off.
Though he still loved it, Naruto hardly ate ramen anymore. His family said he needed to be in peak physical condition now, so he would be even greater when he grew older.
Sasuke was in a similar position. While he did not train directly with Anko and Naruto all the time, he did pick up on their schedule so he could follow it himself, and his teachers within the Uchiha clan could work off of that and tailor it specifically towards Sasuke.