disclaimer: I don't anything associated with the Black Donnellys.

Jimmy, Tommy and Sean all got home at about 5pm. They knew that their mother wasn't due home until around 6, so they all had time to get supper ready and make sure that Teddy was ok.

Sean went down to her room and stuck his head in, "How you feelin' today?"

"I'm ok, how was work?" She patted the bed next to her.

Sean sat down, "Work, was work. Some of the guys asked me how you were doing."

"What did you tell them?"

He smiled, "I told them that you're a Donnelly and by hell or high water we always come out smelling like roses."

Teddy laughed, "Yea, maybe dead roses."

"That's the spirit, do you want to come out and help us with supper?"

Teddy stayed sitting on the bed, "No, I am interested in reading this book." She looked around the room and grabbed the nearest book to her.

Sean looked at her suspiciously, "I think ma left the recipe for chicken and dumplings."

"Cool." She opened the book and leaned back against her headboard, "Can you call me when it's done?"

"Yeah, I'll make sure to call you. You are going to come out of your room to eat even though Jimmy and Tommy are here?"

"I don't know I'm not really hungry."

It was after 6 pm and Helen wasn't home from work yet. "I wonder where ma is." Tommy spoke up.

They all shrugged. Kevin stood up, "I'm gonna go and get Teddy for supper, ma should be home soon." He walked down to Teddy's room.

Kevin ran to her room and came back to them, "She's not in there and her window's open."

Sean got up, "We need to find her, she is going to go for the drugs and we all know it."

Before anyone else could answer they all heard a shrill scream coming from down on the street.

Kevin and Sean made it to their sister first. He saw her kneeling next to a body, crying and screaming, "No, no, no! This is all my fault!"

Kevin put his hand on her shoulder, "Teddy?"

When she turned and looked at him, Kevin and Sean realized the person on the ground was their mother with a bullet hole in her chest, "Kevin!"

Teddy stood up and grabbed Kevin. He pulled her to him and held her head on his shoulder, "Oh my God!" Kevin began to cry, but he wasn't going to let go of his sister and let her see that anymore.

Sean stood up and put his hand on Teddy's back, "Did you see who did this? Did you see anyone?" Sean was in tears and barely able to speak.

She kept shaking her head, "Why mom? She never did anything; it was all us, Kevin."

"I know, sweetie, I know."

Kevin turned when he heard his brothers running and yelling down the street. Jimmy and Tommy got to them and fell to their knees, crying.

Tommy stood up, "This in Nicky's doing."

"We need to get him back." Jimmy said as he stood up.

Teddy wouldn't let go of Kevin, "You can't and I don't want to lose anyone else." She looked at her brothers, "Please don't go."

They all hugged her, "For right now."

They all watched as Helen's body was loaded into the ambulance and it drove away.

Teddy held on to Sean and Kevin as tight as she could and they all walked back to the apartment.

All of them, but Tommy, sat in the living room. Teddy had latched and wasn't letting go for anyone.

She had her head on his shoulder; she slowly began to calm down and was closing her eyes. She finally fell asleep.

Sean moved slowly and laid her head on a pillow, "She's sleeping, finally."

All the brothers sat down at the table. Tommy finally sat down with them, "All the arrangements have been made. The funeral will be in two days."

Jimmy spoke softly, "I never thought that we would be having a funeral for mom, not now."

They all nodded.

"We'll have the wake at the Firecracker and we'll do it up right for ma. She deserves to have everything perfect."

They all nodded again.

At 3 in the morning, Jimmy was woken up by Teddy, "Jimmy, I want to talk to you."

Jimmy was relieved that she was actually talking to him. He pulled the covers aside, "Get in and go to sleep."

"No, I want to talk to you."

Jimmy sat up, "Ok, I'm up."

"Do you want some coffee?"

"Yea, why don't you go start it and I'll be out in a minute."

"Ok." She left and Jimmy climbed out of bed.

He made his way sleepily to the kitchen and sat down, "Ok, sweetie, what do you want to talk about?"

Teddy set a cup of coffee in front of him and sat down, "I think I killed mom."

Jimmy spit out the coffee he had just drank, "What did you say?"

"I think I killed mom."

He took her hand, "Sweetie, you didn't kill ma."

"I know something about what was not done this afternoon and I know that I didn't do something that I was supposed to do. So I killed ma."

Jimmy was confused by her last statement, "What in the hell are you talking about?"

Teddy shook her head, "Nothing, never mind." She stood up, "I'm going to bed."

Jimmy watched her walk to her room and close the door. He put his head down on the table, 'How are we going to take care of everything, especially Teddy.' He finally got up and went back to bed.

The next morning all the guys got up and started making phone calls to tell people what had happened and when the wake was.

By 10 o'clock everyone had been called and they all sat down at the table. Sean looked around, "Has anyone seen Teddy this morning?"

"No, but I saw her at three this morning when she woke me up."

Tommy looked concerned, "Why?"

"She couldn't sleep, so she woke me up to talk."

Sean got up from the table, "I'm going to go check on her." He knocked on the door, waited for a couple of minutes and then he walked in.

Teddy was asleep and heard the door open. She sat up, "Mom!"

"No, just me." Sean sat on the edge of the bed.

"Please, please, please, tell me that it was all a dream. Tell me the ma is still alive and in the kitchen making breakfast."

"I'm sorry, I can't, ma's dead."

Teddy's eyes began to water. Sean grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. He held her and let her cry.

Teddy cried until she felt she couldn't cry anymore. She leaned up against her headboard, "I think I'll go back to bed."

"You sleep, if you need anything we'll be in the living room, just yell."

"Can you stay until I fall asleep?"

"Of course." He moved to a better position on the bed and patted his leg.

Teddy put her head on his leg, "How are we going to get through this? How are we going to make it without ma?"

He stroked her hair, "We'll make it together, as a family, the way we always do."

"I miss her, Sean. She hasn't even been gone that long and I miss her."

"I miss her too, sweetie." Sean felt himself starting to tear up, but he held it back for his sister's sake, 'We all need to be strong for Teddy.'

Teddy fell asleep and Sean slipped out quietly. He found his brothers all still sitting at the table, "She's not doing very good."

Jimmy looked at him and noticed the redness in his eyes, "You were in there for a while."

"She cried for a little bit, said she missed ma and went back to sleep. She doesn't know how we're gonna make it through this and I'm beginning to wonder about that too."

"What do you mean?" Jimmy looked confused.

"Teddy will be going to college, we need to keep the bar and we need to keep food on the table. How are we going to do all of that?"

Kevin patted Sean's shoulder while Jimmy answered, "You and Teddy don't have to worry about any of it, we'll handle it."

Sean stood up and glared at Jimmy, "You can't keep us in the dark about all of this stuff. We are all part of this family."

"You don't need to be involved…"

Tommy, had been watching the whole scene play out, spoke, "Sean and Teddy will be involved in all major decisions when it comes to this family."

"But they're too young." Jimmy looked at Tommy.

"They need to get used to it, we did." Tommy looked away from Jimmy, "The funeral home wants the outfit for ma and anything we want to put in the coffin with her."

"Ok." The three brothers said in unison.

The rest of the day seemed to go by extremely slow. None of them wanted to go into Helen's room to get an outfit.

Teddy came out of her room at supper time and sat down at the table looking at the pizza her brothers had bought, "Ma said she was making meatloaf tonight."

Tommy put his hand on her shoulder, "We are doing our best."

She looked at her brothers, "What is mom going to wear?"

Kevin looked at her, "We don't know yet."

Teddy got up, "I'll go find something for her." She walked into Helen's room; she took about twenty minutes and came out with a dress, hairpiece and a picture, "Mom's favorite dress the hairpiece we got her for her birthday last year and the picture of her and dad she kept next to her bed."

She went in the kitchen and started pulling drawers open, "Where is ma's rosary? She would want her rosary."

Tommy stood up and went to the end table in the living room, opened a drawer and pulled out the rosary beads, "Here, sweetie."

Teddy nodded, "We should also put one picture of all of us in the coffin too."

She grabbed a soda and grabbed a piece of pizza, "Ma would like us all to be comfortable, so we should wear what we want. If it's not clean, put it in the hamper and I'll wash it. Do you think it would be too fancy if I wore the green dress I wore to the dance? Mom liked it I think it would make her happy to see me in it."

She walked down the hall to her room, "Tommy, could you bring that stuff to the funeral home, please. Thank you." She yelled from her room and closed the door.

Tommy stood up and grabbed the items, "I'll bring this down to the funeral home. I'll be back soon." He looked at Teddy's door, "Keep an eye on her."

Kevin spoke after Tommy left, "What is wrong with Teddy?"

Jimmy smiled, "Nothing, she's putting on a tough exterior like we all have, but she will break someday and when she does we have to be there to pick up the pieces."

"So what do we need to do now?" Sean asked.

"Just go along with her. I think she needs to feel in control of something."

They both nodded.

When everyone woke up Teddy was already awake, dressed and had breakfast made. All the guys came out of their rooms dressed.

Tommy sat down, "Everything looks good. How long have you been up for?"

"Only a couple of hours."

All of the brothers sat down and ate breakfast.

Teddy stood at the edge of the table, "I found the perfect picture to put in with ma." She put a picture of all five of them on the table.

All of them leaned forward and looked at the picture. Sean smiled, "We all look so young."

Tommy laughed, "Oh my God, Jimmy, look at your hair."

They all laughed.

Jimmy got up, "what made you pick that picture?"

"That's ho9w mom still saw all of us. Perfect and the truth of the world hadn't touched us yet." She looked at the clock, "We have to go or we'll be late."

They all walked to the Firecracker. When they got there, Helen was lying in her coffin in the corner of the bar so everyone could see her.

Teddy had decorated in all of Helen's favorite colors.

Sean hugged her, "It looks great, sis."

"Thank you, I think we should pay our respects before everyone starts arriving."

"You should go first, sweetie, because you arranged all of this." Tommy kissed her cheek.

Teddy walked up to the coffin, put the picture in and said a proper goodbye. Before she walked away from the coffin she kissed her mother one last time.

All the guys said their goodbyes.

Jimmy went behind the bar, "One toast for ma." He set out five shot glasses and put whiskey in them.

Teddy looked at him, "Me too?"

"You too." They all raised their glasses.

Jimmy spoke first, "To whatever comes next."

Tommy, "To the Irish neighborhood."

Kevin, "To family."

Sean, "To us."

Teddy's eyes began to tear up, "To ma."

"To ma." They all said in unison.

Now don't anyone get worried there is still more to come, at least a few more chapters. I don't know if anything will be posted before the holidays are over, but everyone have a happy holiday and see you in the new year.