[A/N] I know, I know. I'm sorry it's been awhile since I've updated. It took me a long while to really get into this chapter and begin to set up something that will eventually bring Paige and Emily back together. I just want to thank everyone for the continued support of this venture, I'm constantly blown away by the numerous favourites, follows and reviews. Also thanks for your patience and I hope you enjoy the chapter.
"Hey! Watch it!" Emily huffed instantly irritated as she felt herself collide with another body just as she was on her way to enter into Hanna and Caleb's apartment complex.
"What the hell... you walked into me!" The other voice returned laced with a similar amount of anger and frustration, the other person was now slightly hunched over, clutching at their side in pain.
"Paige?" Emily finally recognised the hunched over figure in front of her. "Wait... are you okay?" Her tone instantly becoming concerned when she noticed she had hurt the other girl.
"Emily?" Paige ignored her pain, straightening up as best as she could to see if she was right on her assumption, that the voice belonged to Emily.
"Paige, are you okay?" Emily asked again, approaching the brunette only for her to take a step backward out of her reach. Emily felt more hurt than she really should have been by the action.
"Yeah, yeah... I'm fine. But I actually have to run. Talk to you soon." Paige turned around walking off in the wrong direction, she did have somewhere to be but being caught up in the moment she took the easiest escape possible.
"Okay?" Emily's eyebrows knitted together out of confusion, she couldn't help but feel upset about the way Paige was acting.
The brief encounter was the first in about two months, the two had done a pretty good job at avoiding the other, much to each other's disdain. Emily was back living with the Rivers, after her roommate Sarah moved out and she simply couldn't afford to pay rent, instead Hanna was kind enough to offer her the guest bedroom back. She was back working at the hospital, and her workload had only seemed to increase now that her board exam was fast approaching. Her free time was spent with her friends or playing with Jacob, she had also been on two or three dates since making the promise with Paige, but nobody really interested her. They were all nice woman, they just weren't Paige. She knew she had to get over that mind-set, no one, or at least no one as of yet had come close to living up to Paige, Emily simply hoping that the idea would fade once she had finally gotten over her ex-girlfriend.
Paige was kept busy too moving into her new apartment, trying to renovate it and starting her new job was enough to keep her focused. Caleb and Toby made sure to keep her busy too, afraid she would end up wallowing in sadness once again like she did after her break-up with Alex. But that wasn't the case at all, Paige even approached Hanna and Spencer about the idea of going to see a therapist. She had promised Emily she would seek out help and although she was still highly sceptical of going to see a therapist, she was willing to try. It was Spencer who put her in touch with the therapist she was currently seeing, he wasn't as formal or serious as Paige had imagined a therapist should be. He specialised in PTSD but approached it in an easy-going, relaxed fashion. Paige found it easy to open up to him, he wasn't about probing or looking for underlying problems, he simply offered her a listening ear. Paige could bounce her thoughts and ideas off a stranger without him knowing her personally, it was easier for her to open up to a stranger knowing if he judged her, she could simply decide to stop going and it would play no significant part on her life. That was something she really struggled with, of course she was close to Caleb, Spencer and Hanna but opening up to them was terrifying, she feared her thoughts on the accident would cause them to pull away from her, or worse take pity and look at her differently. It was the same with Alex, Paige although once completely in love with the woman couldn't open up fully about her past, afraid it would change the way Alex looked at her, afraid it would taint the way Alex treated her and what the girl thought of her. But thankfully she was slowly beginning to feel at ease, as she eased into her sessions with her therapist. She was slowly delving deeper into her traumatic past.
"Was Paige just here?" Emily questioned as soon as she got in the front door, forgetting to even say hello to Caleb as she threw her coat and bag on the couch with a frustrated sigh.
"Yeah, why?" Caleb replied bemused.
"Is she okay? I mean I know she and I are trying to stay a little distanced and everything but..." Emily began rambling as her mind went into overdrive.
"Emily, Paige is fine as far as I know. Why are you asking?" Caleb cut her off, an entertained smirk on his face as he watched Emily intently
"So it's just me then!" Emily sighed dejectedly, another flash of hurt settling in on her features as she began re-processing the way Paige was acting when she ran into her downstairs. Placing a gentle kiss to Jacob's forehead, the young boy not taking much notice of her presence being too caught up with his toys, as Emily stormed into her bedroom. Her brain continued racing into overdrive as she tried to think of a logical reason as to why Paige was acting so weird. She didn't want to pry or jeopardise the promise they made, but the thought of Paige being annoyed or even hurt and upset after running into her was eating her up. Emily slumped down at her desk pulling out her phone out of her pocket to call Paige and see what was going on between them.
Taking a deep breath to still herself, she clicked the call button, her heart rate increasing every time the ringing tone rang out. No answer, she didn't want to leave a message so instead Emily hung up. Waiting a few minutes she tried again, this time she didn't even get to ringtone. Paige's phone was off. Her confusion only intensifying influencing the sickening churn in the pit of her stomach.
Thinking the situation out, she decided she would just call over to Paige's apartment. She knew she was acting like crazed person right now, but she missed Paige and the idea of losing her completely was not something she wanted to consider. She let Paige slip through her fingers too many times before, she wanted Paige to know she didn't want that to be the case anymore
"Caleb, I'm heading out." Emily spoke determined as she headed towards the door, grabbing her coat and bag once again.
"You're going to see, Paige?" Caleb smirked knowingly.
"No..." Emily insisted.
"Yes." Caleb shot down her response.
"Fine. How did you know?" Emily sighed defeated.
"Because Emily you need to know for yourself that Paige is okay. She is, by the way. In fact aside from how happy she was at the cabin, she seems contented now too. But you can't just take my word for it, you're a little too stubborn when it comes to things like that." Caleb laughed.
"I guess you're right. Caleb, if she's so happy with me not being in her life. Should I just drop it? Should I just leave her be?" Emily sat down next to Caleb for a moment, his words about Paige's happiness taken her by surprise. Maybe staying away was for the best.
"That's up to you, Em. There are some things that I'm not entitled to say, so it's probably best to chat with her. Although my guess is she won't be home until after 8, so you might want to wait a little before heading over there." Caleb responded, the ambiguity on his words confusing Emily, unable to process how she now felt, she decided it was best to get out of the apartment anyway otherwise her mind would push her into a whole load of different scenarios. A fleeting thought entered her mind, maybe Paige had moved on. Maybe she already met someone else. The thought was simply gut-wrenching, she didn't really have an entitlement to that feeling but couldn't help letting it overtake her anyway.
"No, she isn't dating anyone..." Caleb chuckled, his words causing a crimson blush to tint the girl's cheeks.
"You're ability to read people's mind is incredibly weird." Emily scoffed trying to hide her embarrassment. "I'm going to head out anyway, I'll see you and Han later." Emily waved a goodbye as she exited the apartment.
Paige was startled when she heard a knock at her door, she was not expecting any visitors and she hated when people called unexpectedly. Fixing her sweater she ran to the door, opening it with anticipation.
"Oh it's just you." Paige looked on her eyes taken in the girl before me.
"Just me? Well, thanks for the enthusiasm. Were you expecting someone else?" Emily looked on her brow creased out of confusion.
"Yeah, this girl Candy. She said she could make my whole week if I let her spend one night with me." Paige responded off the cuff.
"Wow, Candy sounds like a ... umm a treat?" Emily laughed, but Paige remained unmoved. Forcing Emily to re-think if the girl was serious. "You're joking, right?"
"Of course I'm joking. What kind of lady do you take me for, Fields." Paige scoffed. "Are you coming inside or are you planning on staying out in the hallway for the rest of this conversation?" Paige pulled the door open even wider, her playful banter confusing Emily. Just earlier that day, Paige had practically blanked her, running off with her face a feature of horror at the very chance of the two having a conversation. "Why are you here anyway?"
Emily was still a little gobsmacked by the sudden change in attitude. She had built up a lengthy conversation in her mind as to what she was going to say when Paige turned around and rejected her, refusing to let her talk. But she was now faced with the complete opposite, Paige seemed fine and almost happy to see her. It also wasn't helping that Paige was wearing grey sweatpants, an oversized Philadelphia Eagles hoodie that was probably an old one of Paige's dad, and her hair thrown up in a messy bun sat on top of her head, Emily always had a thing for Paige when she was dressed down. The fact that Emily considered the brunette to be extremely attractive when she dressed so casually, was making it incredibly difficult for her to even keep focus on their conversation.
"I... I kept thinking about earlier, when we ran into one other..." Emily started hoping Paige would interrupt with an explanation.
"Yeah, what about it?"
"Well, you couldn't get away quick enough. I also seemed to hurt you when I ran into you and I just wanted to make sure everything is okay between us?" Emily rattled off in one breath, a result of how nervous she was.
"I was just running late." Paige chuckled, reaching forward to rub at Emily arm, hoping to ease the girl's worries. The simple action causing Emily to relax almost instantaneously. "Okay, honestly I just didn't want to have to explain some things then and there because... it's well, it's complicated... and I was actually running late. So I panicked and actually ended up running off in the wrong direction just so I could break away from having a lengthy conversation, I knew would ensue if I had explained what I was late for. See complicated." Paige used exaggerated hand motions as she spoke trying to make her awkward explanation a little more understandable
"What's so complicated?" Emily unable to make sense of Paige's explanation.
"I...I'm seeing a therapist now. It's embarrassing, and awkward to talk about but yeah I decided to find one and he seems pretty chill and it's going okay at the moment." Paige walked over towards the little tent set-up she had going on since she still hadn't finished renovating her apartment. She hadn't bothered to buy a bed yet, since she was still waiting for Toby to build a lattice book shelf wall divider to separate the living area and the bedroom. It was a big job given the width and height of the apartment so she didn't mind having to wait another couple of weeks.
"It's not embarrassing, at all. That's great." Emily followed her movements, grabbing a cushion and sitting down next to Paige.
"Yeah, well the way things went down at the cabin, I figured I needed to do something. So the two of us just chat, sometimes not even about the accident we just talk about sports or our how our days went. But there are times when we talk about that, and it's helping. We talk, or at least I talk about my PTSD, anxiety and panic attacks and he's a good listener so, so far it's going okay." Paige rambled a little, obviously nervous about opening up to Emily about this kind of thing.
"Paige, that's brilliant." Emily could do nothing but smile proudly.
Emily knowing it's still difficult for Paige to talk about, decides not to linger on the news Paige told her for too long, not wanting to force the conversation on the girl. Instead they settled into some easy conversation, almost like the two hadn't disappeared from the other's life over the past two months. They talked about work and what they had been up too. Emily also continuously joked about Paige living in a tent inside of her apartment, making fun of the lacking furniture and at one point making it out that Paige was living in a real-life Tumblr photo post with the way the open tent looked like a cosy, comfort spot inside the bare apartment. Jokingly stating "You know if I took of a picture of this whole set-up and posted it on Tumblr, it would become an instant hit. I could be Tumblr famous."
It was only when Emily received a text from Hanna, wondering if she'd be home did she and Paige realise just how late it had gotten. The flowing conversation, hearty laughter and enjoyably company made the past three hours seem like one. They said goodbye soon after, Paige walked her to the door. The only real awkward moment coming when neither knew what to do at the door. But it was Paige who took initiative and embraced Emily in a hug, whispering "Thanks for calling by." Before letting the girl go, the two not fully realising just how much they missed the other until that very moment. The loss in warmth, once the embrace had ended only furthering that feeling.
"Anytime." Emily smiled, waving shyly as she made her journey towards the elevator.
Paige checked her mailbox as she entered her apartment after a long day at the office, not really expecting to find anything, the only person who ever sent her anything via the post was her parents or if she had ordered something online. As a result she was easily surprised when she found a small envelop. The writing looked familiar but she couldn't place it, it also made her curious when it simply had her name on it and her apartment number. No postal mark or detailed address. Her mind was racing as she tried to figure out who it was from, she was friendly with some of the others living in the complex, maybe she was invited to some party or maybe it was a note from the building management. Grabbing a hold of it she ran upstairs to her apartment keen to open it. Just as she settled in for the evening she placed the letter down on the table, her phone ringing out before she had the chance to give it a second thought.
The phonecall was enough to make her forget about the letter all together, it wasn't until the following evening when she came across it again did she take the time to sit down and read it. The neat handwriting and lengthy body immediately an aspect of intrigue. Grabbing her cup of coffee, and her glasses she took a seat at her desk, finally ready to read the letter.
Paige,
If your reading this letter then it means I didn't have the (for lack of a better word) balls to tell you in person.
I miss you.
A lot.
I'm not writing this asking for us to get back together or anything, I remember the promise we both made. We both have to try move on. I have been trying, really I have.
But it's hard...
Talking about the promises we made, I don't remember us agreeing to disappear from the other's life. Of course, I miss what we had at the cabin, and I would hope on a certain level you do too. But alas you were right that it had to end. (I know I am actually admitting you're right for once, don't let it go to your head too much, McCullers ;)). But that's where I have a problem, I don't want you gone from my life, Paige. I don't want you regulated to some character stuck in my past. But sadly over the past two months that's how it seems, I let you disappear once before and that was what we both needed at that time in our lives. But I don't think that should be the case now. I don't think we need distance. I know it takes two to lose contact, so this is me trying to mend something while it's still worth it. Tonight was a little reminder of how important you are to me, and how much I hate us being so distanced, so instead of going home straight away I, instead found the courage to write this, George the old security guard was most definitely intrigued by my presence in the lobby at 2am, but he's a lovely man and even brought me some coffee.
I'm not looking for more than just having you in my life, and if that's only as someone I run into and force small talk with at our shared friend's birthday parties or occasions, then so be it... atleast you'll still be in my life. I don't like the word friends anymore, at least not for us, because we can't be friends it just doesn't work for us, Paige. I just know I want Paige McCullers in my life and I would like to think you still would like (or at least put up with the idea) of having me back in your life too.
Anything is better than nothing, right?
Hope to hear from you soon.
Your _. (Feel free to fill in the blank spot as desired)
Em. X
After reading the letter it took Paige a while to figure out what she wanted to do. She missed having Emily around so often too, but a part of her was afraid they would just end up slipping back to what they had at the cabin, and that was on the brink of turning toxic. She wasn't ready for that, and she also didn't want to jeopardise the positive growth of her time at therapy. She and her therapist had talked about Emily, but Paige hadn't felt comfortable going into the heavy details just yet.
She sat there reading and re-reading the letter, trying to figure out what to do.
Finally after about an hour she made a decision. She needed help moving some things from her storage unit and asking Emily would allow them to spend some time together without much commitment or pressure.
She pulled out her phone, typing out a message but deleting before clicking the send button. She did this over and over again. Before forcing herself to finally hit the button.
Hey Em. I read your letter. So I need someone to U-Haul some things from storage with me, I figured who better than a fellow lesbian. LOL. Let me know if you're free for Sat? Thanks –P.
Feeling awkward and embarrassed about the joke she made in the text, Paige quickly shot off another message.
Sorry for the lame joke. –P.
The wait for a response was killing her. She had got the delivery report for both messages so she knew Emily's phone had received them.
Count me in. Also I know you were super proud of that U-Haul joke, stop trying to cover up the fact that you think you're hilarious. –Em.
Paige couldn't help but laugh at Emily's response, a wave of relief washing over her.
I am hilarious and you know it. My joke did make me laugh so therefore, hilarious. See you Saturday. –P.
Well at least someone thinks you're funny. :P. See ya Saturday, Paige. One lame joke and I'm out. –Em.
Paige continued laughing to herself, genuinely looking forward to seeing Emily on Saturday. Distracted momentarily when another text came through.
Thanks for reading the letter, Paige. Thanks for thinking of me. –Em x
Always –P. X
Paige responded instantly not given her words much thought. Maybe her response was a little forward but she pushed the consequences to the back of mind excited for the weekend to come.
Emily showed up at Paige's apartment at 8am ready to go, the day was spent moving the few pieces of furniture that Paige already owned from the storage unit to the apartment. She still didn't have a bed to call her own, but at least she had one couch, some dining furniture, light fixtures and little knick-knacks to start making the place feel a little more homely. The conversation flowed easily, the two simply enjoying being in the other's company. The atmosphere between the two like friends, no awkwardness lingering. The silent moments remained peaceful and the talkative moments were met with laughter, easiness and intrigued ears. A text about lunch time from Aria, inviting them over to Hanna's for drinks and dinner also caught their attention but it also meant they wouldn't have to have any difficult conversations when it came to deciding some things about dinner, should Emily stay. Should Paige invite her out? How much longer should they spend in the other's company before overstaying their welcome? But thankfully Aria, unbeknownst to herself had allowed them to avoid such an instance.
They arrived at Hanna's at 6 on the dot just as Aria had requested. Everyone a little confused as to why they needed to be gathered, Paige even more so when she wasn't usually invited along when it was a girl's night in, as the group text Aria sent out seemed to claim.
"Hey, you both came?" Aria cheered gleefully when she saw Emily and Paige enter the room.
"Yeah, you sound surprised?" Emily laughed lightly hugging the tiny brunette.
"She just thought with all that U-Hauling and sweaty work, you would be unable to resist one and other and end up doing it in the back of the van." Hanna interrupted, her tone sharp with nonchalance.
"Hanna!" Spencer chastised, a look of shock on everyone else's face. Paige and Emily turning a bright shade of red.
"What? I'm joking. I'm just saying seeing Paige McCullers and Emily Fields all sweaty, lifting all that heavy furniture I wouldn't be opposed to it." Hanna shrugged, a look of shocked disbelief on the other's faces was almost comical.
"How Caleb is still married to you, I don't think any of us will ever know." Aria added shaking her head at Hanna's words.
"Anyway... this must be a pretty important girl's night in, if I got invited?" Paige spoke up, grabbing herself a cool beer off the counter before taking a seat next to Spencer on the couch.
"Okay, fine. There is. I'm pregnant." Aria proclaimed all at once, smiling excitedly as she watched her friends process the news, only to be wrapped up in a warm hug seconds later. "Yeah, I'm about three months. I'm due in September. Ezra and I are going to move back to Rosewood, to be near my parents, in the next few weeks. So this is kinda the last hurrah for city life, at least for the next few years."
The whole group of girls continued chatting with excitement. The food arrived soon after and they all settled in for the night. After a little while Paige chose to retract herself, heading up onto the River's rooftop terrace, she wanted to allow the four girls to have this moment amongst themselves too. She didn't feel unwelcome or like an intruder, but knowing how close of a bond they all shared she felt a little out of place, wanting to take a step back. Heading outside helped, she sat back on a wooden armchair, the night was clear or at least she thought so, the bright New York skyline taken away her ability to see the stars, taking a sip out of her half empty beer bottle she pondered what it would be like if Emily was the one announcing her pregnancy, she smiled warmly at the thought. She could imagine the warmth behind Emily's eyes, the pride in her voice when she spoke, the subtle yet protective hand hold over her growing stomach.
"Penny for them?" A voice interrupting her before she could let her mind travel any further.
"What?" Paige remained still, confused by the other girl's wording.
"Penny for your thoughts, you're smiling to yourself. They must be good." Emily took a seat on another wooden recliner lying next to the one Paige was laying down in.
"Nothing important. Thanks for your help today, by the way."
"Happy to help."
"Oh actually on your letter I filled in the blank at the bottom with 'lesbian U-Haul helper'. So now it reads 'Your lesbian U-Haul helper', Em."
"You did?" Emily chuckled amusedly.
"Yep, that's all you are to me Fields." Paige laughed now too.
"You're such a nerd. But I meant what I said in the letter, I don't want to lose you. So if that means I'm only in your life as your lesbian U-Haul helper, I'll take it" Emily spoke more seriously this time but finishing on a lighter note with a hearty chuckle.
"I don't want to lose you either... who knows when I'll need some help moving again." Paige forced out serious at the beginning too, but couldn't help but tease.
"I'll take it." Emily laughed heartily once more raising her bottle of beer to clink glass with Paige. "Cheers to that."
"Cheers."
"Where did you to get off too." Hanna commented when she saw Emily and Paige descend from upstairs.
"Outside, for a quickie." Paige shot back, Emily going bugged eyed after the comment Paige made. "You know, since we didn't get to 'do it' in the back of the U-Haul."
"That's my girl" Hanna hi-fived Paige proudly, Spencer and Aria dying with laughter as Emily seemed mortified.
"Chill, Em. Don't look so horrified at the idea. It hurts my ego." Paige nudged into Emily's side continually winding up the taller girl.
"You're such an idiot, McCullers." Emily nudged back just as eagerly.
"I know..." Paige smirked. The two going back to the couch to sit and chat with the others once again.
Emily was so angry and irritated after the past hour, she walked into the first liquor store she came across buying a six pack of beer, ready to go home and try make something of her disappointing night, desperately wanting to forget everything that just happened. Infuriated, a new idea washed over her and once the idea planted it's seeds into her head she couldn't help but allow it to grow.
On arriving at her new destination Emily banged on the door, maybe a little too violently as the beer bottles clashed together in an uneasy harmony. 'Please be home, please be home' the words ringing out in her mind.
"You know every time you show up banging on my front door, I get nervous like who the hell is calling at this hour? Then it turns out to be you. You know I have a phone, Em. A simple text to alert me every now and then would be nice." Paige reeled off as soon as she recognised Emily on the other side of her door.
Emily was taken aback, a furrow in her brow on looking at Paige, It wasn't the girl's words that had taken her by surprise but her appearance. "Since when do you wear glasses?"
"Shit." Paige mumbled breathily to herself, a warm blush tinting the apples of her cheeks. "They're just for reading and when I'm on the computer. I have then for about two years now. I kept getting bad headaches in the evening, so Alex eventually convinced me to see a doctor. Turns out I was getting it from straining my eyes too much. Anyway I'm rambling and they look stupid..." Paige trailed off taking the glasses off her face and folding them up in her hands.
"They don't look stupid. They're ho... They're nice." Emily corrected herself before telling Paige a little too honestly how much she liked her with the glasses on. "You never wear them? I never saw them the whole time at the cabin?"
"No, instead out of embarrassment I just endured the headaches. To be fair though I only had a headache one of the days." Paige shrugged.
"Paige, really? They look good, I promise. You shouldn't feel self-conscious at all." Emily added grabbing the folded pair of glasses from Paige's hand and placing them back on her face.
"Okay anyway enough about my bad eyesight, what brings you here today... and why are you so dressed up?" Paige did a once over look at Emily.
"You know I love the enthusiasm on your tone, every time I come to visit you. I had a date earlier, it turned out awful. So I figured getting drunk was the answer. Then I figured what's better than getting drunk by yourself, getting drunk with someone else. I figured we could rant together. Hanna and Caleb are out, Spencer is busy with law stuff and Aria isn't really someone who can get drunk at the minute. So you're the lucky lady." Emily explained kicking off her heels and heading straight to the couch. "Also can you order some food, I walked out on Carmen before we even got our mains."
"...I see. You know I'm not very impressed with my position on the totem pole here." Paige joked, to cover up her genuine disdain over being Emily's last pick. What she didn't know was that, it wasn't the case at all, Paige was Emily first pick as soon as the idea popped into her head she knew she wanted to go to Paige after the awful date, but for some inherent reason she felt foolish about admitting such a truth.
"Oh shut up. You're getting free beer out of it." Emily teased once more.
"So what happened?" Paige laughed to herself as she took a seat next to Emily grabbing a beer, before kicking her feet up on an unopened cardboard box as a foot stool.
"You know I don't even know why I bother going on dates. They all turn out to be psycho... or they just make me so crazy, I end up looking like the psycho." Emily sighed.
"Okay. Well tell me about Carmen."
"She was on the date looking for pointers on how to 'act lesbian'. She's going for a role for some TV show or film or something and basically wanted to try out 'lesbianism'. She even brought a little notebook to take notes." Emily moved to rest her on Paige's shoulder taking a large gulp from her bottle.
"How did you meet?"
"I'm pretty sure she kinda stalked me, she knows Mike from the hospital... and he introduced us one day seemingly, but I honestly can't remember ever meeting her. Then she ran into me in the coffee shop next to the hospital, and we got chatting. She was nice and charming, a little forward but I didn't really mind then. She was good looking too. So she asked me out and figured why the hell not. I think she has put me off dating for life though now." Emily's stricken pessimism making Paige chuckle once more. "It's not funny. You know she offered to pay me? When I said I couldn't do this whole thing, she offered me a hundred bucks and even offered to raise the price if I was feeling up to sleeping with her. It's actually making me feel a little sick. Sometimes I hate people."
"Yikes, what a bitch. That does sound intense. People suck." Paige knocking her bottle off Emily's agreeing with her final statement.
"You know, I once went on a date and the other girl was completely horrified when she found out, it was date. She didn't know." Paige laughed to herself, her words immediately intriguing Emily.
"What happened?" Emily stuck by intrigue.
"It was when I was in Scotland, before Alex and I started dating. She was a friend of one of my roommates, she was a nice girl. In hindsight maybe a little innocent. But we seemed to click, she was over in the apartment I shared with her friend, we got chatting and it was going well. I was fully convinced she was into me, so that was a good sign. So I asked her if she'd like to meet over dinner the following day, to which she promptly said yes and we even exchanged phone numbers." Paige moved to adjust her position, Emily following suit turning to move her back against the arm rest, grabbing a hold of her knees as she faced Paige. "The dinner was fine, the conversation flowed easily. No awkwardness, which for a first date was strange but deceived me into thinking the night was going great. So the night ended, I invited her back to my place and she agreed to come."
"Paige McCullers, you lady charmer. You." Emily winked teasingly, only to earn an eye roll in return.
"So we were chatting again, and it wasn't until I went to make a move did everything go downhill. I had just kissed her when I earned myself a burning slap across my cheek, the sight of horror on her face will remain with me for life. She was utterly gobsmacked, and actually looked close to tears. I felt awful, but before I could even say a word she was out the door and half-way down the street." Paige had a light blush colouring her cheeks now.
"So what happened then?" Emily asked, interest on her words.
"Nothing. We never talked again. I found out a few weeks later she was a member of one of the Christian societies in the university and never even considered that I was a lesbian. We have passed on the street since and smiled out of kindness but no words have since been exchanged. I was mostly mortified because according to Eilish my roommate at the time, I made her re-think her association with her faith, not that she was gay but because she felt like her kiss jeopardised her belief system and I was devastated by that, I would have hated myself if she had given it up. I didn't think I'd ever kiss another woman after that."
"Wow, that's kind of powerful in a way too. Did you know about her religion?" Emily questioned still intrigued.
"Nope, she never brought it up. Talking with Eilish she seemed to be pretty devout, but never wanted to flaunt it." Paige finished.
"We're both hopeless." Emily moved to sit back beside Paige.
"Yep, pretty much."
"This is incredibly cliché, but I'm allowed to say it because I pretty drunk. I had to force down two almost three glasses of red wine to continue listening to Carmen in the space of forty minutes. But if I'm still hopelessly single, and the owner of more than one pet when I reach thirty-five. Marry me. Only if you're single too, of course."
"Deal." Paige smiled warmly, it was all too entirely cliché to make such a promise, but it warmed her heart none the less
The two continued chatting the night away, sharing stories of dates they had been on the type of girls they had been out with and so on. It was strange talking to your ex, especially with someone who shared and lost a relationship as intense and complex as Emily and Paige, but there was no hidden jealousy, or envy. They were simply sharing experiences, making the other laugh their natural ability to be comfortable and at ease with one another no doubt the main contributor.
"Emily. Stop! Don't move." Paige spoke, the severity on her tone causing Emily to jump.
"What... What!?" Emily looked at the brunette in panic.
"Your painting. I swear if you get paint on the brick wall." Paige began in a serious tone, but Emily instantly breaking into laughter at the honest worry in Paige's eyes.
"You're not serious, Paige?" Emily was fully convinced Paige was just joking.
"I am. Do you know how hard it is to get paint out of brick?" Paige returned, stepping between Emily and the wall where she began cutting in so Emily wouldn't have to get any closer to the brick wall Paige wanted to keep as it was. She really liked the way the exposed red bricks looked on this one wall.
"I don't think I've ever known one Paige McCullers to be so uptight when it comes to painting and decorating."
"I'm not uptight. I just want it to look right." Paige whined, not liking being called up-tight.
"So what happens if I do this?" Emily held up her paint brush in front of Paige's face but Paige was quick enough to catch her wrist before could she could get paint on her face.
"Don't you dare, Fields." Paige laughed seeing the playful nature in Emily's eyes. "At least not until I do this first." Paige using her own paintbrush stroked it the across the slightly taller girl's cheek and across the bridge of her nose. Emily mouth gaped open out of shock, a teasing smirk forming on Paige's lips.
"Paige!" Emily moved quick slipping out of Paige's hold, Paige moved quick too but she wasn't quick enough this time earning herself a stroke of the brush across her forehead, but retaliating quickly as she dipped her hand into the tray of paint landing her hand right on top of Emily's head only to be met by another shriek of high-pitched laughter. Emily picking up on Paige's movements placed her hand in the tray now too, dragging her hand down the length of the paler girl's face, finishing by wiping the last of the paint on Paige's old shirt, before making a dash across the room. Paige was quick to follow with a fresh hand of paint once again, chasing Emily she quickly caught her spinning her around but the momentum was a little much causing them to spiral to the ground luckily it wasn't a hard fall and only seemed to further their laughter. Momentarily frozen in shock from the fall, Paige took advantage wiping all the paint on her hand over Emily's face once more, resulting in Emily squirming violently trying to get out from underneath Paige's hold unfortunately she was unable to do so.
For the briefest of moments the two forgot about everything going on around, the smiles on their faces growing more intense, soaking up the closeness of their two bodies. Paige's hand remained tangled within Emily's hair, her eye's briefly flicking to Emily's paint covered lips missing the mili-second Emily's eye line did the same. But just as quick as the moment fell on them, it seemed to dissipate, Paige realising the intensity between them reluctantly pulling herself away first.
"I... I-I should go shower." Her words trembling a mirror of her racing heart no doubt twinned with the beat of Emily's.
"Yes you got a little paint right here." Emily using her finger rubbed some excess paint from her own cheek to wipe it onto the tip of Paige's nose. "oh and here." She smudged another bit of paint across the brunette's forehead this time. "And here" she finally finished by rubbing the last of the paint on her finger down the length of the other girl's cheek.
"You're such a messer, Emily Fields." Paige laughed, thankful for the way Emily broke the initially awkward moment between them. "I may go shower, then you can shower after me."
When Paige returned from the shower she saw Emily dancing while cleaning up the paint to the low sound of music humming gently from Paige's computer. Paige initially awe-stuck by the smooth sway of Emily's hips, the mesmerising whish of the girl's hair reacting in harmony with the girl's movement. A warmth tingling the pit of her stomach as she shamelessly watched on, of course Emily remained oblivious. Settling the butterflies in her stomach she waited to moved forward just at the right moment, Emily moved back jumping when she felt a pair of strong hands capture her frame. The two stood frozen for the briefest of moment, a fleeting look of longing flashed between two sets of brown eyes, but neither willing to do anything about it. Paige hand slipping to Emily's hip, as their hands interlocked, Emily hand following suit to move to Paige shoulder, as they danced together. The music wasn't a match for their rhythm but that didn't matter, as they gentle swayed. Paige smiling as she allowed Emily to twirl out and back into her hold, Emily chuckling to herself a blush rising on her cheeks. They stayed like this for what could have been forever, a moment in oblivion. Emily moved closer. Paige hand slipping to the small of her back, one finger coming in contact with a slither of exposed skin between her t-shirt and sweat-pants. Emily head resting on Paige shoulder, her warm breath enough to make Paige go crazy as it warmed the column of her neck.
It wasn't until Paige felt the soft caress of Emily's lips on the skin of her neck and shoulder did the moment actually catch up on her. Her eyes closing as she revelled in the moment almost selfishly knowing she would have to push Emily away in mere seconds.
The moment came, and maybe all too quickly as Paige slowly entangling herself from the other woman. She could see the crushing moment become real for Emily too.
"Fuck. I'm so sorry, Paige. I'm so fucking stupid..." A look of horror awash on Emily's features.
"Emily stop, it's fine. I just... I just can't do this. At least not right now." Paige couldn't look Emily in the eye.
"I know. I... I'm just sorry okay. I should get going anyway." Emily bit at her lip anxiously.
"What about showering, your covered in paint?"
"I think it's best if I just go." Emily moved forward reaching out to squeeze Paige's arm before gathering her stuff.
"See you soon?" Emily called out just as she reached the door, hopefulness on her voice as she forced the sudden awkwardness around them away.
"My parents are coming to visit..." Paige replied, but Emily pick the response up wrong a flash of hurt crossing her face. "I'm not going anywhere, Em." Paige added.
"Me neither, Paige." Emily spoke with such sincerity on her tone, if they was one thing she wanted to entrust in Paige is was that.
"You ready eat dust, Kiddo?" Nick McCullers taunted his daughter as they waved goodbye to Paige's mother, the two having arranged to go running at the local park. Paige's parents had arrived in New York City three day ago and they were staying in a near-by hotel. Today, Anne hsd insisted on looking around and helping to decorate Paige's apartment, stating it needed a mother's touch. As a result both Paige and Nick were not very interested deciding to go for a run instead, leaving Anne to work her motherly magic.
"We'll see who's eating who's dust when we get to the finish line, Dad." Paige laughed off her father's playfulness elbowing him into his side.
It was a ten minute walk to the park, Paige was used to running in. Briefly talking her father through the path, before they began their warm up.
"Okay, you ready to go, Dad?" Paige questioned, just as she finished stretching out her back and shoulders.
"Born ready, sweetheart." Nick shouted as he took off like a shot down the path., Paige laughing and shaking her head at his competitiveness.
The two kept pace side by side for a good thirty minutes, Nick being the first to slow. "Run ahead, Paige. Just a stitch I run it out." Nick encouraged his daughter to run on. Paige didn't hesitate quick to run a few paces ahead. She continued looking back at her dad he seemed to be only getting slower, that worried her a little but he continued waving her on. It wasn't until Paige rounded a corner and lost sight of her father behind her did she decided to stop, when he didn't seem to make it around the corner at all, a greater sense of worry set in. Waiting another few seconds, she went with her gut deciding to run back in case he had fallen or cramped up. But she could have never prepared herself for what she saw. The 6ft tall man was lying fully flat out on the ground, Paige instantly pumping every last bit of energy she had in her as she sprinted to his side.
The man looked distressed, a frightening pale only seemed to add years to his age. The handsome, well-kept man looked a shell of himself and that shook Paige to her core.
"Paige..." Nick's voice was weak and breathless. "I think it's my heart."
"Dad?" Paige reached to her father's pulse, it was still there but felt faint. Grabbing out her phone she dialled 911. The operator seemed optimistic that Paige's father was still conscious, she asked Paige to try keep him awake for as long as possible.
Unfortunately Nick fell unconscious before the ambulance could get there. The world began to blur around Paige as she mentally went through what she knew of CPR and the advice the operator was giving her over the call line. Sitting on top of her father lower chest she began perfectly timed compressions, pumping firmly into her dad's lifeless chest. She didn't notice the small gathering of people around her intently watching the events unfold. A few people approached and tried to help but Paige shot then down with such a ferocity it forced them backward as she remained fully focused, hoping she was doing enough.
Time no longer seemed an entity, it wasn't until she felt strong arms wrap around and pull her off her father's body did she realise the ambulance had got there. Her body enveloped in a thick sheen of sweat as all she could do was watch on as the paramedics went about saving her father's life. Paige felt like she wasn't there, her whole being felt foreign. The movements around were disorientating and moving in slow motion. Flashing blue and red wreaking havoc in her vision.
"Ma'am, is there someone else with you?" A male paramedic assistant physically shook Paige as her eyes remained glued to her father's body being loading into the ambulance. "Miss, who's Emily?"
"Emily?" Paige turned facing the man, her eyebrows creased as her response slipped from her lips before she even realised she was capable of speaking.
"Yes, you were calling out for your dad and then you start calling Emily? Is she here?" The man explained, Paige blinked out of bemusement, she had no memory of saying a word let alone call out to her father or Emily.
"No" Paige responded no emotion on her words, flashing images of the crash, seeing Emily receive CPR and what was happening right now intertwining in a sickly dance ever since she was pulled away from her father. Shaken her head, trying to make sense of her current present Paige asked about her dad. "My dad?"
"He's getting all the help he needs. The paramedics restored a pulse but he needs intensive care. Can you you tell me your father's name, then yours?" Paige struggled taken in his words, her hands shaken as he helped her up onto her feet leading her to the ambulance car to follow close behind the blue lighter. "Nick...Nicolas McCullers" Paige forced out, but recalled her statement no one who ever knew her father called him Nicolas. "Just Nick... and Paige." Her voice still seemed like a completely different entity, she didn't recognise the words as they flowed from her mouth. It was like her body was responding in overdrive, while her mind remained caught up in a hazy whirlwind of fog and disillusion"
"My...m-m-my mom?" Paige's teeth were chattering, but she didn't feel cold.
"One of the other Paramedics has your phone. They're forwarding the details to the contact centre so we can get in touch with your Mom. I'm Jenson by the way." The man offered up kindly hoping the friendliness would calm the other girl. "Paige can you close your eyes and try take some deep breaths for me, your still in shock." Jensen spoke calmly. Paige's body responded once again almost robotically so.
They arrived at the nearest hospital in less than ten minutes, Paige barely caught sight of her father as he disappeared behind closed door. She remained inside the car trying to gather herself up, her legs felt like jelly, her mouth was desert dry as her brain seemed to remain two steps behind everything going on. She didn't take in the conversation Jensen was having over the phone on the car's built-in loudspeaker regarding Paige's mother until he captured her shoulder again physically stealing her attention.
"Paige, your mother is on the way. Someone called Toby is with her." Paige blinking, it didn't seem real. None of this felt real.
"Can I just sit out here, until my Mom comes? I hate hospitals and I just want to see her." Paige sat on a bench next to the entryway, her eyes fleeting from one person to the next some walking around chatting, another set of doctors and nurses attending to another emergency as they wheeled a body from the ambulance, Paige couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman, to a heavily pregnant woman waddling no doubt trying to bring on her labour, a supportive boyfriend or husband by her side.
"Paige, I have to go. You'll be okay here? Ask for your phone at reception they have it, they'll also have a few more details about your father's case." Jensen explained.
"Thank you, Jensen." Paige forced a smile, she was thankful but with everything going on around her she found it difficult to process much beyond the thoughts of her father being rushed into surgery.
Paige just sat still, every second seemed like a heavy-weighted hour. It wasn't until she heard her mother's voice call out her name, did she stand up wrapping her mother up in her arms. She felt the smaller woman break-down, tears soaking into her t-shirt as she cried in devastation. Paige remained unmoved, shock still lingering on her every nerve, muscle and bone. She looked to Toby, a comforting look of understanding on his features too, he knew what it was like to lose a parent and his features spoke nothing but hope.
"I was at your apartment when your Mom got the call. Spencer and Caleb are on the way over now too. Hanna's staying at home to look after Jacob." Toby explained.
"Emily?" Paige didn't really know why her voice sounded so lost and desperate for the other girl.
"No answer." Toby's head fell knowing Emily was probably the one, Paige needed most in such a moment, but no one could get through to her. Paige's demeanour seemed to drop too, as she hushed soothing words of hope, love and understanding into her mother's ear, after all that was supposed to offer some kind of comfort at a time like this, wasn't it?
"She'll be here." Toby added, maybe it was wrong of him to say such a thing. He couldn't guarantee Emily would show up.
"I know" Paige nodded, her words sad and desolate but yet held such meaning. In the end it all seemed to be enough to give Paige the courage to walk inside the hospital, her arm firmly linked with her mother's as they supported one another in what could be one of the worst days of their lives.
[A/N]. Thanks again for reading. Will Emily show up at the hospital? Will Paige's Dad survive? Will Emily and Paige ever get back together or do they end up deciding otherwise? I haven't made a decision on some of these things just yet so I guess it'll come down to how I'm feeling when I start writing. I promise the next update will not take as long. Please review and let me know your thoughts on this latest chapter, your reviews offer so much encouragement and guidance when I'm writing. Thanks once more for the constant support.
Until next time.